A Changed Life (44 page)

I had taken another sip of my water and I glanced down at Sam, who looked at me shaking his head. Sam had appeared nervous about something, and of course, I had no clue. I just continued on with my speech.

I glanced down at my silent phone, and read a text message from Bailey. It read:

You need to let Simon know you’re here. What he is about to say may hurt your feelings! Please go to him. Now!

Whatever Simon was about to say, I probably deserved, and I texted back.

“Don’t worry about me friend, I’ll know when to go to him.”

I shuffled my notes, and began again. “I told you that I had written two parts to my speech. Well, I believe I covered the good part, and now I have a few things to say that are the bad parts. I guess I’m considered popular around here. ‘
Applause and laughter,’
Most of you know that I’m not exempt from the usual high school rumor mill that always seems to get it wrong.

In my junior year I dated lots of girls until one became my first girlfriend here in California. Her name was Jennifer Williams, you all remember her right? She was smart, and very pretty. She loved her time here at this school, and I can recall Jennifer telling me that one day, Harvard would be lucky to have her on their campus.

Sadly, Jennifer was killed in a car accident, and taken from those who loved her. Please join me in a moment of silence for our fallen friend. My classmates along with myself bowed our heads in a moment of quiet, and when I raised my head, I continued. I only hope she is looking upon all of us here today, and wishing us well. Now on to another person whom I would like all of you to remember here today. My girlfriend Nicolette Vanelle, she can’t be here with us accepting her honors and awards. She should be standing on this stage with me, but she can’t because she is on the other side of the world right now.”

Simon, referred to me as his girlfriend, I know I had heard him right. He still loves, and wants me. I feel many eyes are staring at me. Our classmates are confused on what Simon is saying right now. He doesn’t realize that I’m here, and have returned to him. I sit quietly in the back row, and continue to listen.

I needed to pace myself for what I was going to say next. My friends were staring at me, and I glanced over to my parents. For the first time, I noticed the Vanelles, sitting with my family. How could they be here today when Nicolette is not? I shook it off, and continued on.

Swallowing hard and trying my best to keep it together. “Nicolette should be here with us today, and celebrating with her family and friends. Nicolette was also a transplant here to our school from the windy city of Chicago, she always joked and constantly ended any conversation she was having with this line. “
You know I’m from Chicago, or hey, I’m from Chicago”.
It was a constant punch line. My girl feared nothing, and from day one walking onto our campus, she was confident, and quickly made friends.”

“I didn’t meet her here at school. I met Nicolette at the beach.” I looked down to my friend, and said. “Remember Sammy, we were climbing over the wall to get a better look at the stunning beauty walking along the water.” Sam smiled up at me. “I knew I was hooked from the moment I laid eyes on Nicolette. She was like no other girl I had ever met, and she took my breath away. I climbed down that wall as fast as I could, knowing I had to meet her.”

“I felt an instant connection with Nicolette, and she felt the same for me. We talked for hours, and got to know one another. She was so easy to just pour your heart out to, and I may have even loved her then, from day one. I mentioned the rumor mill earlier and well she wasn’t exempt from it either. Lots of people have been saying many things about Nicolette, and drawing your own conclusions, as to why she suddenly dropped out of sight, and out of school.

I can no longer be silent, and I will clear up the rumors once and for all. Nicolette is not here with us today, because someone hurt her very much in a way that is just unimaginable. She left to heal her mind, body, and spirit. Leaving her family, her friends, and me, behind to miss her, and I wish every day for her to come back to us. Nicolette leaving broke my heart, and painfully shattering it in millions of pieces. This was not her fault, and she was left with no other choice.

I begged Nicolette to stay with me, and to trust me to know how to take care of her. She left me anyway, and I haven’t spoken to Nicolette in months and missing her gets harder with each day that passes. You know how they say, if you truly love someone, set them free? If they come back to you, they were meant to be yours. You don’t know how true I want to believe that, and after I leave this school for the last time today, I plan on getting on a plane, and going to Switzerland to bring my girl home.”

“I guess if you want some inspiration to leave with here today, then I suggest you go with this. Many of you will have lots of boyfriends and girlfriends. Don’t worry about finding the “one,” you will know when the right one enters your life, and grabs hold of your heart. When that day comes, it will be magical, and I can promise you that. It was for me, and Nicolette, and I’m hoping it will be again. I have so many things I want to say to Nicolette, and I’m just scared that I will mess it up, and not find the right words to tell her how I feel.” I take another deep breath, and look up to mine, and Nicolette’s family. My mom and Christina are crying and wiping their tears away. I wasn’t planning on that to happen. “Principal Davies, thank you for allowing me to speak from my heart here today.” My principal smiled back at me. I was about to conclude my speech, when I hear a familiar voice from the very far end of the room.

“What will you say to Nicolette, when you see her?”

I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. I look down at Sam, who is nodding at me. His expression said it all.
“You’re not crazy, Simon. You heard it right, because we all heard it too. Your girl is here and has come back to you.”

If there was ever a right time to speak up and let Simon know I’m here, this was it. I found my courage to stand up and call out to him. I know he heard me as I watch him look out to the crowd. I find my voice and ask him my question again. “What will you say to Nicolette, when you see her?” His beautiful tan face almost went white when he heard my voice again. I slowly made my way through the long aisle, passing my friends who were crying and cheering us on as we were about to reunited. It felt like a scene playing out from a movie, and everyone was watching to find out what would happen next. This was real, and it was our life, and I want it back.

I stopped before the stage, and my eyes locked on to Simon’s. This was the first time we had seen each other, since I left him months ago. His eyes were filled with tears, and he looked at me as if he didn’t believe I was real, and standing before him. Simon blinked a few times, and now was focused only on me. Simon remained at the podium, and answered my question.

“If given the chance to talk with Nicolette again, I would tell her that I love her, and I never stopped. Not one day passed when we were apart, that she didn’t fill my thoughts, or take over my dreams at night.” Simon’s tears began spilling down and wetting his cheeks. The room was so quiet, no one made a sound.

I asked Simon, “Would you forgive her for leaving you?” Simon replied, “There’s nothing to forgive. I now know, and understand why she did what she felt she needed to do.” I asked another question of him, and he gave me his complete attention. “Are you willing to trust her and believe that she will never run again? Believe that she is completely and madly in love with you, and will never leave you again?” Simon stood there, and listened to every word I was saying to him. I walked a bit closer now. “I left because I was drowning in my own pain, and I was riddled with guilt, and couldn’t trust my feelings for you. I needed to get well before I could allow myself to come back to you. All you asked of me was to believe in our love and trust you. You’re right, Simon, I did run, but not from you. The truth is that I didn’t trust me, and I doubted myself every day. You pledged your love for me over and over again, and it was your love that I carried with me. You never left my heart.”

“Shame had taken over my soul, and I just felt lost. I knew in my heart the only way I would ever return to you, was to heal me first. Once I did that there would never be any question in my heart where I belonged. Simon, you are home to me, and I love you. I am so sorry for hurting you, and I hope you can believe, and really understand my leaving was never about you. I worked every day to get better, and I have been fighting my way back to you ever since.” I had finally been able to breathe again, I couldn’t say anything else to Simon, and he was still staring at me with glassy eyes. He never broke eye contact with me.