A Bundle of Joy 2: The Baby Proposal (BWWM Interracial Romance) (5 page)

“Yeah.” He sat on the bar stool that lined the counter. So far she hadn’t kicked him out. He decided to take that as a positive sign. “What about you? Are you working?”

She winced. “I was working as an editor. But I got fired a few months ago.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Budget cuts.”

He hoped he hadn’t embarrassed her with his questions. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ll find something e
lse.” Her lips lifted, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She fiddled with the flowers, arranging them to her liking. Her gaze then lifted to meet his. “I’m surprised to see you wander this way. What brings you here again? I thought after hearing about my pregnancy, you’d be running for the hills.”

Triston leaned closer, all his senses on full alert. This dejected, depre
ssed Selene wasn’t the one he’d seen the last time they met. What happened to make her so sad?

“What’s going
on with you?”

That’s it. Triston couldn’t keep his distance anymore. He stroked her cheek.

And that was all it took.

Selen
e broke down.

Triston pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her.

Through her tears, she managed to tell him everything from the time she lost her job to her struggles to make ends meet, her calling about the surrogate job, to being pregnant, and now the new catastrophe about the couple not wanting the baby anymore.

And throughout the rehashing of her woes, Triston’s heart tightened little by little against his chest. But he held her close, his chin resting lightly on her head. Triston savored the scent of coconut and vanilla, so much like a tropical island paradise, which emanated from her braids.

Selene squeezed him tightly around the middle, and then gently pulled away from his embrace, indicating without words that their brief interlude had come to an end. He held on a little longer than he should have, as if he was stealing a few extra moments with her. Then, he let his arms fall away. 

“I’m at my wits end.” Selene flung her arms in the air. “
The easy thing to do would be to abort. I still have time. I can do it in the next couple of weeks, and I’ve made a tentative appointment with the doctor, but…”

“Since when you’ve
done the easy thing? That’s not the girl that I know.”

She looked at him
as if he was speaking a foreign language. “The girl you knew doesn’t exist anymore. She’s broken and lost.” She inhaled a deep breath, and then expelled it. “Anyway, the other option is for me to give up the baby for adoption when it’s born. But for that to happen, this pregnancy has to progress right to the end. About 40 weeks, give or take a week or two if everything goes well. I want the baby to be healthy and happy, and that means that I need a job.” She bit het lower lip. “I can’t get the nutrition he or she needs without money. I wouldn’t care so much if it was just me, but this baby deserves the best I can give.”

Triston could tell that Selene
was fighting to hold back her tears. “Come here.” He grabbed her hand and held her close, as close as he could manage without making her think he had ulterior motives. But he just wanted to comfort her, to say without words that he was going to be there to see her through this difficulty, and that he was in it with her for the long haul.

They were like that for a while
. He felt himself drowning in her tropical scent, until he reluctantly released her and guided her towards the sofa. He made sure she was seated comfortably.

“So they just told you they didn’t want the baby anymore?”

Selene nodded.
“You’re probably wondering why I was so gullible, and why—”

“—No
, not at all.”

“I should’ve read the
contract properly, made changes in it to protect myself but I was so…so blinded by the relief they offered that I didn’t think everything through.” She drew in a deep breath and then exhaled somewhat wearily.

In spite of himself, Triston was filled with elation. Selene wasn’t involved with another man. She wasn’t in love with someone. He
’d wasted time imagining her with another man. Now it seemed he had another chance. And this time, he wasn’t going to screw up.

He took her hand in his.

She tried to pull herself free, but he didn’t let go. “Still only want things your way, don’t you?”

He ignored her jibe. “What I’m going to say may sound crazy
and rash, but I’m not sure you have time for any other choices.”

“What is it?”
Selene stiffened and went completely still.

Go easy, Walker. She’s
edgy.

“Remember the plans we had?”

Selene’s eyes narrowed. “We had many plans. You need to be more specific.”

“College? Marriage? Kids? Any of those ring a bell?”

She raised her chin, as if she was ready for a challenge. “What are you getting at?”

“What
do you think about us getting married?”

She jerked back from him. “Are you out of your
ever-living mind?” Her entire body shook. “No, thank you.”

“Listen to me.
It’s a quick fix. I can give you what you need. Stability. A shoulder to lean on.”

“I don’t need your charity, Triston.”

I have to get this right. She needs to see that this could work.

“Once the baby is born, you’ll be free to make the decision about whether you want to give the baby up for adoption or—”

“I don’t think—”

“You can keep the baby and we can be a real family together.”

“A real family? Is this a joke? I’m not a charity case, Triston.”

“Trust me when I say this: charity is the furthest thing from my mind when I touch you, kiss you. Make no mistake about that.”

And to prove his point, he pulled her close, tight against his chest, swooped down and suckled the deep valley where her neck and shoulder met. Because of her cedar-colored skin, he was sure that he’d leave a mark there. But he didn’t care. He wanted the whole damn world to know that Selene was his, was always his.

And when she whimpered, he used his tongue to criss-cross his way upwards, savoring her taste, her scent. He burned for her with six years’ worth of need, of longing, of lust. And then he took her ripe, parted lips in his, and nibbled and licked, and sucked on them, taking pleasure in their fullness.

Selene tugged against him, and he loosened his hold on her. He had no plans of letting go of her completely, only until he was good and ready. And right now, he was far from ready. He was relishing in the sight of the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the way her tongue flitted to lick her succulent lips, anyway.

“Are you offering this because you feel some sense of duty towards me? That you feel you have to make up for what happened between us?”

He lifted his hand to her
cheek and pressed it there. “No.”

“So, why…” Selene t
urned her palms upwards. “What’s in it for you?”

“Listen. All
I want is for you to give us one more chance.” Triston’s breath caught in his throat as he waited for an answer.

“Are you on some kind of crusade to save Selene?”

“What kind of guy do you think I am?

“Marriage is a big thing, Triston.”

“So is having a baby and not having the support you need in place.”

“And if there’s another war, you might decide to reenlist. Where
will my support be in that case?”

“Why dwell on things that may never happen. Let’s talk about what’s facing us now.”

“Easy for you to say.” Selene shook her head. “You know that the thought of war scares me. I was fourteen when my brother, Dwight, was killed in Iraq, in the same war you planned to fight in. Can you imagine how I felt when you told me you were leaving for basic training? You want to know the number of sleepless nights I’ve had wondering if your mother will call me to tell me a bullet had taken you down?”

“I can’t
imagine how you felt, Selene. And I’m not going to lie to you. I never regretted my decision to serve my country, and if there was a call to serve, I would do it again. But I’ve regretted that my decision was a source of your unhappiness.” Triston dropped to his knee in front of her and reached out and clasped her clammy hand. “Marry me.”

“No, thank you.”

Selene jerked her hand and he released it. No use getting her more upset than she already was.

Selene stood.

Triston
pivoted, still on his knee, and watched her as she paced the room. “Marry me.”

Selene stopped in mid-stride and swung around to face him. “For you to…to offer me marriage to bail me out of a desperate situation
…I…I’m not sure I want that. It probably seems that I would do anything for an easy life, but I’ve enough self-respect left to try and wiggle my way out of this situation on my own. I don’t want to marry you simply because I don’t have another option.”

“You’re not even…”

“Please Triston. I’m not doing so well right now. Please, I beg you. Don’t make this more difficult than it already is. Go now before…”

Damn it.
I should’ve waited before springing the proposal on her.

Triston could tell that if he pushed anymore, she’d break down. He needed to retreat, but he had no plans of surrendering. Not by a long shot.
He rose to his feet.

“I’
ll go, but promise me that you’ll consider my proposal before you decide to do anything drastic. Okay?”

Sh
e nodded. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she looked away.

“There’s something I need to do before I leave.” Without even giving Selene a chance to respond, he stalked towards her and claimed her lips, her tongue. Sure he was acting rashly, but he needed to get his Selene-fix before he left.

Triston also knew that he wouldn’t score many brownie points today.

Marriage
was a major step. He should’ve asked her out, wooed her. By offering her marriage, he’d overplayed his hand. Obviously she had felt compelled to say no. Which self-respecting woman would say yes to a hasty proposal?

But hope still flared in his heart.
He was convinced that Selene wasn’t in love with anyone else. That meant he still had a chance. And Triston knew quite well what he had to do to make her fall in with his plans.

Chapter Six

Selene walked into Dr. Mardsen’s office, her purse clutched tightly in her hand. She wanted to discuss the abortion with him. Would he do it for her?

“Good morning, Selene. How are you, today?”

Selene
did her best to maintain her composure. “I’m okay, considering what’s been going on lately.”

Dr. Mardsen lifted a brow. “What’s the matter
?”

“The Stevens don’t want the baby anymore.”

Dr.
Mardsen’s stare was incredulous for the briefest of moments, and then he adjusted his features into the cool air of professionalism. He wasn’t the one who’d inseminated her, but he knew that she’d agreed to a compensate surrogacy.

“I see. They told you that?”

“Yes, and now, I don’t know if I want to keep this baby.”

“You could consider an agency adoption. There are thousands of
childless couples who would welcome the opportunity to adopt a child.”

“I don’t know if I can
support myself, let alone bear the cost of this pregnancy.”

Why, oh why, had she been so stupid to get into this mess? She should
’ve considered all the legal, financial, and moral ramifications before agreeing to do this. Her desperation, borne from her circumstances, had gotten the better of her, and now a child’s life hung in the balance.

“What are the Stevens proposing?”

“They’re willing to pay for an abortion, but don’t care either way what I do. It seems it’s up to me to decide the fate of this child.” She sighed as she put a hand on her brow. “I’m seriously considering an abortion. I mean…I don’t want to, but I don’t seem to have a choice. Would you be able to do it?”

“I don’t perform abortions. It’s a
choice that I’ve made in my practice. But I can recommend a good clinic and a doctor if you decide to go that route.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“I’m sorry, dear. As a professional, I can’t offer you a personal opinion. You have to decide what’s best for you and the baby. But yes, I can help you choose a clinic for abortion, and I can also refer you to a good adoption agency.”

Misery flooded through her. She couldn’t decide what she wanted to do.

A few hours before, she’d gone to do an ultra sound. And she was nervous. It didn’t help that she was worried the sonographer might detect an anomaly. She even wondered if the baby could sense the circumstances surrounding its conception, and may not thrive because of it. If that happened, it would be all her fault because it could possibly be as a result of the impulsive decisions she’d made.

The sonographer’s assistant helped her onto the examination table and draped a sheet over her legs. Selene shuddered when he rubbed the gel over her
bare abdomen. She‘d forgotten how cold it was.

“I’m just going to take a quick look to see if all is
well with the baby. I’ll record its measurements and take some still pictures for Dr. Mardsen to interpret.” The sonographer pointed to the screen. “If you like, you can watch everything.”

A flush of adrenalin coursed through her body as the pictures of her baby appeared on the screen.

What was she to do? A few minutes ago, her baby was merely a tiny life form she held inside her body for the Stevens, but now she felt a deeper emotion, something she couldn’t yet articulate.

“Everything seems to be on the right track.
The baby is doing well.” The sonographer gazed down at her, his smile gentle. “Would you like to know if it’s a boy or girl?”

She became aware of a lightness in her chest, a glimmer of excitement streaming through her.

“Tell me.”

“Looks like you’ll be having a daughter in a few months.”

Selene’s eyes shot to the screen. “Are you sure?”

“It’s still a bit early, b
ut I think…if I had to lean one way or the other, I would bet on a girl.”

Selene tried to figure out what she was seeing, but didn’t have a clue. “What are those gray and dark areas?”

“You’re eager to know everything about what you’re seeing, but Dr. Mardsen is the best person to discuss the results with you.”

“I still can’t feel the kicks,” she said.

“Don’t worry. First time mothers usually don’t feel anything until the 18
th
or even the 20
th
week, but I assure you that she’s doing well. Quite a feisty one, she is.” The sonographer chuckled as he put the probe back. His assistant wiped the gel from off her abdomen and helped her sit.

The sound of Dr. Mardsen clearing his throat interrupted Selene’s thoughts.

Selene’s face felt extremely hot. “Sorry, Dr. Mardsen.”

“That’s all right, Selene.”

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to continue coming here. The Stevens don’t want to pay anymore.”

“
We have some programs that offer reduced costs. You’ll have to fill out a few forms. Ask the receptionist on the way out to give them to you.”

His face was sympathetic, and she realized that he wished he could help her.

But what could he do?

She was the one who’
d put herself in this situation. No one had done this to her, and she would have to do whatever possible to find a way out of it. The thought of having to deal with all those piled up bills and future medical costs brought tears to her eyes. What had started as a financial boon had turned into a massive burden.

And she still wasn’t sure if she was ready to keep this baby.

Abortion or Adoption?

Those were her two choices
and she would have to make a decision fast. Time was running out. But seeing her daughter move, listening to her heartbeat, had been life-affirming. How could she think of aborting her?

She’d been able to see the validity of both sides of the debate, but
now that she was faced with the actual decision, despite the severity of her financial situation, she didn’t think she would have the courage to go through with aborting her baby. A life had come into this world. Who was she to deny it the right to exist? She would just have to try harder to get a job, pay for the medical expenses, and then put her daughter up for adoption.

But was it that simple? Now that she’d seen her daughter during the ultrasound, she wasn’t very sure if she would have the self-restraint to watch her baby taken from her and into the arms of a couple she would never know. What if they wouldn’t love her as she deserved? What if they abandoned her at the slightest hiccup in their circumstance, just as the Stevens did? Will
her daughter think of the woman who gave birth to her? Wondered if it were easy for her mother to give her up for adoption?

So many thoughts were racing through Selene’s head that she couldn’t think clearly. In fact, she sensed an impending headache. She needed to stop and relax. All the worrying was not good for her, and it certainly wasn’t good for her daughter. In fact, her mother used to tell her and Jamie when they were kids that worrying never solved problems, sober thoughts and actions did. Maybe she should discuss it with Heather and Tasha, the two women who were becoming her very good friends, and were also traveling along the same journey as she was in terms of their pregnancy. She wouldn’t bother Jamie with her problems. What Jamie needed to do was to concentrate on her studies.

Besides Heather and Tasha, there was only one other person who wanted to be by her side.

Triston.

The man she’d loved for almost half her life.

Selene still couldn’t believe that Triston had asked her to marry him. She recalled the first time he’d asked her. She’d been all of eighteen th
en and thrilled. Selene had always known that he was the one for her. But when he left, leaving her heart broken, she’d never been fully committed to the men she dated, always choosing to hold part of herself back. Selene protected her heart from possible desertion, because she never wanted to be in the same position again.

Selene had been crazy about Triston
and had wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but her eighteen-year-old self got in the way, always thinking that she wasn’t good enough. That’s what it boiled down to. She’d always felt he wanted the glory of being a soldier more than he wanted to be with her. But now she was learning that soldiers like Triston and her brother, Dwight, had a passion to protect and serve their country and the people therein. Men like Triston and Dwight knew fully that the people they fought to protect took their freedom for granted, but it didn’t stop them from fighting, from sacrificing love, family, stability, or their own lives.

But
even if she could manage to overlook their past, no matter how hard he tried to assure her, she couldn’t believe that he was offering to marry her out of love. She would never accept his pity. She knew that he would take good care of her. She might even be able to start her own publishing company if she wanted to, instead of depending on luck to land herself a decent job. There was a huge market for interracial romance, as well as many aspiring authors who would be thrilled for the opportunity to get their work out there for the reading public.

Yes, being married to a guy like Triston was a life most women might covet
, but she’d be damned if it was just thrown at her because he felt sorry for her. She may be down, but she wasn’t out as yet. It was important for her to
earn
the things she got.

But, oh! How she loved and wanted him. She was smart enough to know that what she felt for Triston wasn’t some fickle emotion. If it were, she would’ve been over him years ago. But she wasn’t. She was so into him, it was no laughing matter.

She loved him. Period. The six years faded away when she was in his presence, and that scared her. Was she setting herself up for more pain? That look on his face had nearly been enough to make her agree to the second stupid thing she’d done in the past few months.

But Selene had said no because she didn’t want to compound her problems.

Marriage wasn’t a solution. It would be like jumping out of a frying pan and straight into the fire.

She neede
d to find another way out, and although she hated the very thought of it, abortion was still on the table.

When Selene reached home, she
sat and searched the newspapers. She dialed the phone numbers that were given alongside the classified ads.

No.

No.

No
.

That’s all she heard. Finally, she was down to one las
t ad before she was done with the day’s paper. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.

This i
s the one
.
This is the job I’m going to get
.

Selene
picked up her phone and dialed. It rang one, two, three, four times. Her heart sank. She was about to hang up when a man answered.

“Hello
, my name is Selene and I was calling with regards to the ad in the paper?”

“Let me write down some information about
you and then we can discuss an interview.” He cleared his throat. “What kind of degree do you have?”

Selene took a deep breath. This is where she’d lost most of the other jobs. “I
have a B.A. in English and two years’ experience in editing.” She waited with bated breath to see if he would give her a chance.

“What kind of
editing experience?”

She released her breath.

So far, so good
.

“I was an assistant editor for a magazine.”

“Have you done any current courses in digital editing?”

No, no, no. Not again.

Selene debated with herself whether she should tell a little white lie, or go with the truth. But then again, he would eventually want to see copies of her original certificates and diplomas. She might as well as speak the truth.

“Umm, no.
”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re a new digital publisher and we’re looking to hire someone who has more experience or failing that, a relevant course certificate. I’m very sorry. Have a nice day.” He hung up.

Selene sat transfixed, staring at the phone.

This wasn’t the first time that she wished that she could live her life over again. And next time, she
would study marketing which would have put her in good stead to start her own business, or become a pharmacist, where there was much room for upward mobility.

Selene put the phone down,
buried her head in her arms and let the tears that she’d been containing for so long flow freely.

She’
d done all she could and nothing had worked out. She had no choice now but to abort her baby.

And she would have to do it fast.