A Broken Fate (The Beautiful Fate Series book 2) (10 page)

Ari laughed.

“Three weeks ago I couldn’t get you near the water and now you want to be a beach bum? Not happening, I want a job, Ava. It’s not a matter of whether I need one or not. I want to provide for you, for our family.”

“You do provide for me, Ari. You don
’t need to work to make me happy. And I do miss Perry; he was so nice to me,” I said as I snuggled my head down on Ari’s shoulder.

“Really? You hardly ever mention him.”

I bit at the inside of my lip. I didn’t like to think about Perry because thinking of his death reminded me that it had been caused by my hand. I took a deep breath and very quietly began to tell Ari about my first encounter with cutting the thread. I toyed with Ari’s fingers while I spoke, and I twirled his wedding band around his ring finger. When I finally told him everything about that dream and his death and the funeral, he turned to me, moving my head off his shoulder.

“So, Margaux and your mom both knew that you cut Perry
’s thread?”

I nodded my head, “I didn
’t know it then, but yeah, they knew.”

“Why didn
’t they tell you who you were?”

“I don
’t know, Ari. There is just so much that I do not know.”

I put my head back on his shoulder and fell asleep.

Chapter 10

Happy Family

After my flashback on the yacht, brought on by the sight of heavy rope coiled around a railing, I had terrifying nightmares and my anxiety was through the roof. The plane ride home from Greece was a nightmare in and of itself. Right after I fell asleep on Ari’s shoulder, I woke up screaming. Ari hurried to calm me down before I panicked the other passengers, cupping his hand quickly over my mouth to muffle my scream. He told the flight attendant that a spider had scared me and she helped us search for the little intruder before giving us a look of suspicious curiosity and walking away.

I put my head back on Ari
’s shoulder, but he gently nudged me off him.

“No, you can
’t fall asleep here, not until we get home, Baby,” he whispered.

I was tired and the situation made me grouchy.

Without another word, Ari lifted his iPad.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” Ari read to me softly as he started Tolstoy
’s
Anna Karenina
. His voice was so calm, warm and soothing that every so often my eyes would flutter and close. At such times, Ari nudged me softly back awake, shaking his head no.

Rory and Julia picked us up from LAX. They were holding hands, apparently having made up while we were away. Julia squealed with delight when she saw August and they had a classic airport reunion. I walked past them and climbed into the back of the Rover. I was in no mood for squealing or girl talk.

When we finally arrived home, I headed straight back to our bedroom. I climbed into bed and fell asleep within seconds. The images on the other side of my consciousness were those of torture and fear. Time and time again I was brought back to the basement, my prison, and to No. 6’s taunting laugh and dirty fingers.

I woke screaming in the night. I ripped blankets from my body and threw pillows to the floor. I cried for Ari, screamed for the pain to stop.

“Ava, Ava, shhhh. You are home. You are here. I am here. Open your eyes. It’s going to be alright. You never have to go back there again. Shhh, calm down.”

I opened my eyes to Ari
’s rushed words. I searched in the dark for his face. He flipped the bedside light on and pulled me into his arms while I sobbed.

“I was so scared,” I whimpered.

“I know, I know,” he whispered. “I’m here with you; you’re safe.”

I lay curled up in Ari
’s arms while he rocked me in bed, back and forth. He ran his fingers through my hair and down my back. He wiped the tears as they sprang from my eyes.

“On August fifth, my world ended,” Ari spoke
so, so quietly. “I waited for you. I waited so long, Ava, and you never came home to me. I called you and called you and sent you text after text. I went to my parent’s house; no one had seen you. I went to Gianna’s and none of them had seen you. No one saw you run by, you didn’t stop to talk to anyone on your way home, you had vanished. You were missing and I panicked. I knew I had failed you. I hadn’t protected you, kept you safe. I should have gone with you that day, but I didn’t.

“Why had I let the woman I love, the woman I had just married, leave my sight for one tiny moment? What had I been thinking? I ran as fast as I could down that beach. I screamed for you. I looked out in the water in a frenzy searching for you. I died inside when I found your phone lying in the wet sand. I fell to my knees and cried as I dialed 911.

“My family followed me out on the beach, looking for you. My mother found me crying in the sand and she was the first to notice the trail of blood-soaked sand and footprints. He had dragged you away from the water, towards the road and just like that, the trail stopped. He had taken you away. I didn’t know where to find you or even where to look. I didn’t know if you were alive, if you were scared, if you were in pain.

“Days went by with nothing. No word, no leads. Everyone was afraid to talk to me, afraid of saying something that might upset me. I caught people looking at me. My friends and family, people I have known my whole life, looked at me with pity. They didn
’t know how to communicate with a man who had just lost his heart, the love of his life, his reason to breathe. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I didn’t know how.

“My mind shut down. I don
’t remember making the statement on the news, I don’t remember the press conference, or the vigil. The only thing I remember, the only thing I will never forget is sitting in our living room, listening to Detective Scott along with my family. He had come to tell us that the police department was calling off the search for you, and that they were going to make a public announcement the next morning. He said that the department was presuming that you were dead.

“People broke down all around me and cried. All I wanted was for everyone to leave so I could hurry up and join you
in death. I wanted to die, too. I wanted to die so badly. I sat and breathed what I thought, what I hoped, would be my last breaths. I looked at my family for what I thought would be the last time. I couldn’t stand living a second longer without you in my life.

“Then, out of nowhere, my phone whistled a text alert. Everyone I knew was in that room – except for you. I grabbed my phone off the table in front of me as fast as I could.”

Ari closed his eyes.

“That text saved my life – one tiny x. People jumped out of their seats and watched me text you back. I fell to my knees and cried,
‘It’s Ava! She’s alive!’

“We found you in that dirty house, broken and beaten. You looked so scared, so close to not being alive.”

Ari took a breath and steadied his emotions.

“I don
’t know what you have gone through and I don’t know what you dream about while you sleep, but I promise to protect you from it, whatever it is. I will keep you safe, Ava. I love you; you can trust me with your secrets.”

That was my cue, it was my turn to talk, to open up about my experiences, my secrets, as Ari had put it. Instead, I sat in the quiet room and contemplated Ari
’s mention of suicide.

“How?”

“Hmm?”

“How were you going to, umm… do that to yourself?”

He shook his head slowly as he stared out of the window at the dark ocean waves that crashed on the shore just beyond our sandy lawn.

“Swim out to sea. Drown. Let the current pull me under and carry me away to you.”

“Huh, I have never considered that, purposely drowning myself.”

“Why would you?”

I turned and looked at him.

“Never do that. Never! I don
’t care what happens to me, I cannot dream of a world without you in it.”

“Nor can I dream of a world without you in it, Ava; you are my world. If I don
’t have you, then I have no reason to live.”

Moments passed and we sat in the quiet darkness, our room lit by a tiny bulb no brighter than a candle.

“Ava?”

“Hmmm?”

“Tell me what happened to you.”

“No.”

Ari shook his head incredulously as I crawled off his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as I drifted back to a dark, tortured sleep.

****

Ari took me back to my physician, Dr. Phillips, the next day for a checkup. The doctor tried to prescribe some meds for my post-traumatic stress, and I declined. I told him I was doing fine and that there was no need for me to be on any prescriptions. Ari kept his jaw clenched through the whole visit. We walked through the hospital in silence and then out to the parking lot. Once we were in the car, he slammed his door shut.

“Why did you do that?” he barked.

“Do what?”

“Lie!!”

I blanched.

“I didn
’t lie.”

“There. You did it again. Stop lying, Ava. You aren
’t doing fine. You do need help.”

I was saved by a call coming in on Ari
’s phone. He shifted in his car seat and retrieved his cell from his jeans pocket. I stole a glance at the caller id display but the number was not one that I recognized. Ari gave me a sideways glance, then accepted the call.

“This is Ari.” He answered
in a clipped tone.

“Hello, Mr. Alexander. This is Jane Wilcox with
The
….” I heard the woman on the other line say before I lost interest and stared out the window as we turned right onto the I-5 south ramp towards home.

Because my kidnapping had been all over the news and had involved a seriously wanted fugitive, Ari and I received requests for my exclusive account almost daily from various news stations and reporters across the country. Obviously, I wasn
’t going to talk to a bunch of strangers on television or in print, especially if I couldn’t even talk with my own husband about what had happened. Each time we were presented with a new offer, Ari would release the same statement: “Ava is an incredibly private person and wishes to remain that way. She is working through her experiences at home, in the arms of her loved ones. She wishes to thank all of those who supported and prayed for her.”

****

Ari was set to go back to work after the weekend and I was dreading his absence. I kept reminding myself that real life involved things like work and school and I needed to get a better grip on reality. It was hard with all of the fears that had been plaguing me. It was already the end of October and I was beginning to think I would not be able to start school at the spring semester and the realization made me feel worse.

We went over to dinner at Aggie and Andrew
’s on Saturday night rather than Sunday, because the Alexanders were to throw a small party afterwards for Halloween. I was sick of parties and crowds and all I wanted to do was stay at home, but that would mean I would have to be home by myself and I was too scared to be alone.

I walked into the kitchen with Ari; he hugged his mom hello and left to talk with his dad
- alone.

I hadn
’t seen Aggie since we got back from our trip to Greece. I took the book that she had lent me and set it on the table in front of her.

“Thanks,” I said and started to turn to go to the living room.

“Sure, Ava,” she said with a smile. “You can pick it up over here next time, though.”

I looked at her, having no idea what she was going on about, and she gave me a little wink. Then I remembered what had happened the week before, when she had come to our house to deliver the book.

  “Serves you right, Aggie; you wanted details and now you have them.” My tone was harsher than I intended.

“Okay, you win. I
’ll never ask again! Believe me, I don’t want to know,” she said, smiling playfully. I could not bring a return smile to my lips. I just nodded and walked away. I couldn’t find the playful, carefree side of my personality. I didn’t feel like smiling or laughing. Aggie watched me leave the kitchen with concern in her eyes.

I sat at the piano and played until my fingers ached too much to carry on. At dinner I stayed quiet until Lauren said how excited she was that August was going to be teaching two of her classes. I nearly choked on my food.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, August, but you, Lauren,” I said turning to look at my sister-in-law, “you are going to hate him!”

August nodded his head up and down vigorously, agreeing with me.

“What? Why?” Lauren frowned with disappointment.

“August was my private teacher for Wheatin Prep and he was a harsh taskmaster jerk. His exams were brutal and his lectures went on for hours. The closer we got to becoming friends the harder he pushed me, so don
’t think he will go easy on you because you know each other. Oh, and if you speak or write one lick of English in your French class, be prepared for a ton of homework and public humiliation.”

“Don
’t act like my rules and tests were a bad thing, Ava. If not for me you never would have graduated at the top of your class at one of the highest-ranking schools in London.”

“I would have settled for just graduating at that point, August, but thanks. Truthfully, Lauren, August is a great teacher; just don
’t let his looks fool you. He will not be fun…ever.”

“Uh, we did too have fun, Ava!” August said with a pout.

“Yeah, we had fun, after class, like three times.”

“It
’s not my fault you were so hung up on Ari that you couldn’t enjoy London,” he retorted.

Ari put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my hair.

Lauren looked angry, pushed her food around on her plate for the rest of dinner, and did not say anything else. I didn’t either for that matter; my mind was somewhere else entirely. I could not forget about No. 7 and I couldn’t put my uneasy feelings to rest. I was beginning to feel paranoia lurking behind all my thoughts. I had bitten and peeled my fingernails down to near non-existence. I fidgeted constantly with whatever was at hand. My leg shook and bounced around at dinner so much that Ari had to keep putting his hand on my knee to stop the table from rattling.