A Bridge to Dreams (13 page)

“What do you mean?” she challenged. “This is home for me, Luke, the same as it is for you.”

“If you say so,” he said, his doubts still evident.

“I do say so.”

“You were born in New York,” he reminded her. “You went to college there, too, and traveled all over the world when you were working in fashion. I've only been to Ireland, where things were pretty laid-back, especially in the smaller villages, but I imagine the lifestyle here is very different from the glamorous places you've seen in France and Italy. It's definitely a world away from the hustle and bustle of New York.”

Though her instinct was to counter Luke's obvious skepticism with complete certainty, she took a sip of her wine and actually gave the question some thought.

“It is different, but in a good way,” she replied slowly, trying to put her gut feelings into words. “The pace is slower. The values are different. Family really counts for something. Mom saw that. She left New York and brought me and Caitlyn back here.”

“Because she was in love with Trace,” Luke said.

Carrie sighed. “Yes, Trace did play a big part in her decision, but she's been happy being home. She'd tell you that. She's figured out how to balance the career she loves and the family she loves even more.”

“Balance is important,” Luke agreed, then gave her another of his annoying long looks. “What do you envision doing with your life here? I know the ambition gene can't possibly have skipped over you completely. All O'Briens have it.”

“Not me,” she admitted as if it were a crime. Luke was right about one thing—O'Briens were expected to be excellent multitaskers, and, despite her last name being Winters, she was an O'Brien through and through. Luke had brought the conversation full circle, right back to those goals that seemed to be eluding her. She'd been so blasted lucky her entire life. What right did she have to complain about an unexpected bump in the road?

“All I ever really wanted was to be a wife and mom,” she told her cousin. She made the admission in a hushed voice, as if it were some sort of crime to want so little for herself.

When Luke didn't react as if she were crazy, she continued, “Gram was my role model. Nell made a real home for mom and her siblings after Grandpa Mick and Grandma Megan split up. I always saw myself doing that same thing—cooking, baking, nurturing my kids—right here, surrounded by family. All through college I kept expecting to meet someone and fall in love. I practically made a career out of dating. I thought for sure I'd get a marriage license fifteen minutes after I picked up my diploma.”

She sighed again. “That was the plan, but it never happened. Then I met Marc and thought he was the one. Of course, he was the last man on earth who'd ever be happy in a small town, so I have no idea how I expected him to fit into my dream.”

“Ever heard of compromise?” Luke asked with a smile.

“From Marc? Not likely.”

“How about you?”

“For the right man, sure,” she said glibly, then wondered.

“Okay, you're right. I can't settle. It would never work. I want what Mom and Trace have, what Bree has with Jake and Grandpa Mick has found with Grandma Megan now that they're back together. I want the whole happily-ever-after thing.”

“So you can't settle and you claim you don't care about a career,” Luke summed up. “You have yourself a real dilemma.”

“Isn't that what I've been trying to tell you?” she said in frustration.

“Maybe you need to focus, pick the area of your life that matters the most to you, the one over which you have some control.”

She smiled at that. O'Briens did love to control things. Her grandfather was a master at that and he'd instilled that stubborn, we're-capable-of-anything streak in all of them.

“We've already concluded that I can't control when or if the right man might come along, and I have no career goals, at least not the kind I'm passionate about,” she reminded him yet again.

“I think you're making this too complicated,” Luke suggested. “Stop fretting about a career, if that's not what you care about. Put it on the back burner. Get out there and start dating. There are single men in here every night of the week. I'll fix you up. When was the last time you went on a date? The path to marriage generally starts with a first date.”

“So I've heard,” she said, though random dating didn't appeal to her. She'd done that all through college to no avail. Besides, she'd sworn off men until she figured out how she'd been so wrong about Marc, how she'd misjudged his values and his feelings.

But Luke was right about one thing. She did need some sort of social life before she went completely stir-crazy. “How about this? I don't want to be fixed up, but the next time I'm in here, if there's a nice guy around, introduce us. Women and men can be friends, right? That's not a bad starting point.”

“I have my doubts about men and women being pals, but it's definitely a start,” Luke said. “I predict you'll be married in no time, with a half-dozen kids underfoot.”

As alluring as that image was, Carrie could see the downside. “Can you picture what Grandpa Mick will have to say about that? He loves all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but he expects more from us.”

“Forget your grandfather. This is about what you want. You know Nell will be on your side.”

Carrie smiled. “Sure she will, but she'll be standing there all alone. Grandpa Mick will be horrified. So will just about everyone else. Even Mom and Trace will think I'm wasting my potential.”

“This is about you, though,” Luke argued. “And about what will make you happy. When it comes down to it, I think that's what they truly want for all of us. As appalled as my dad was by the idea of this pub, he got on board when he saw how much it meant to me. Treat the whole marriage thing as if it were a job hunt. Interview applicants on a daily basis.”

Carrie gave him a chiding look. “You say that as if it's perfectly simple to pluck the perfect man out of thin air or to identify him by getting him to answer a list of questions. Trust me, it's not. Besides, where's the magic in that?”

Her cousin chuckled. “Ah, so you want the magic, too?”

“Of course. And until I find it, I can't very well sit around and do nothing. I still need a goal. Being idle isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm not suited for that, either.”

Luke's expression turned thoughtful. While he pondered whatever he was pondering, Carrie sipped her wine.

“You're babysitting for half the kids in the family, aren't you?” he said eventually.

“Yes, but what's your point? That's not exactly a job.”

He gave her a long look. “Make it one.”

She frowned at the seemingly offhand suggestion, though it was evident Luke was warming to the idea. “What do you mean?” she pressed.

“You love kids. You don't have any of your own on the immediate horizon.” He stared at her as if willing her to reach the same conclusion he had. When she remained silent, he added with a touch of impatience, “Consider opening a daycare.”

Carrie immediately waved off the idea. “Come on, Luke. I can't charge family for keeping an eye on their kids.”

“Why not? If you weren't around, they'd be paying somebody else. I certainly charge them for their pints of ale when they come in here.”

“Not the same thing,” she insisted. “This is a business. We all understand that.”

He laughed. “And the daycare could be your business,” he said. “Just something to think about. The town could use one. Moira was saying that to me not twenty-four hours ago. She said if we're ever going to have kids, given our busy schedules and her traveling with her photography exhibits, we'll need someone we trust to care for them. She flatly refuses to put a playpen in the corner and see our child raised in a bar.”

Carrie could just imagine Moira making that point very clear. From her very first introduction to the O'Briens in her native Ireland, Moira had never hesitated to express an opinion. It had earned her the nickname of Maddening Moira, until Luke had pleaded with all of them to drop it.

Luke gave her a grin. “Maybe when you're totally focused on starting a business for yourself, the right man will suddenly appear. By then you may be so busy, you won't even have time for him.”

“The way you were when Moira came along?” she said, recalling how he'd expected Moira to sit by patiently while he got the pub up and running. She'd taken exception to that.

“Exactly,” he admitted with a grimace. “Moira tried to get some sense through my hard head, but it was Nell who finally set me straight about waiting.”

“How? I never heard the story.”

“After Gram fell ill during the trip she and Dillon took to New York, she called Moira and me into her room at the hospital and told us to stop wasting time. She reminded us that we should never put off the things in life that really matter, that there's never a perfect time for falling in love. I swear, even lying there in that hospital bed looking so blasted tiny and frail, she was a force to be reckoned with.”

“She still is,” Carrie said, then admitted, “It scares me to think what will happen when we lose her. She's the bedrock of this family.”

“And to hear her tell it, she's not going anywhere till she's satisfied we're all settled and content,” Luke replied. “With a whole slew of great-grandchildren around now, I think she's planning on being with us for a while.”

“I hope so,” Carrie said softly.

Luke patted her shoulder as he stood up. “I need to get back to work. Just think about what I said. Maybe daycare is the right fit for you, maybe not, but you won't know until you've explored the possibility, the same as I figured out a pub was the right fit for me the first time I walked into one in Ireland and realized it could be the heart of a community. I found my true calling on that trip.”

“And Moira,” she said, smiling.

“And Moira,” he agreed.

After he'd gone into the kitchen to check in with his chef, Carrie sighed. Was there any merit to Luke's idea? Or would it feel as if she was giving up on her own dream of having a family by surrounding herself with other people's children? She was a great babysitter, a terrific aunt, but there was a whole lot more to running a daycare, including more regulations than she'd ever had to deal with. Of course, she had taken a couple of early childhood development and child psychology classes in school. She'd been fascinated by the topics and she'd aced them. She might even have pursued more classes back then, if she hadn't gotten a PR internship and gravitated in that direction.

She thought of all the O'Brien kids who were underfoot on a regular basis and smiled. They were the best part of her life, no question about that. Could she turn that into a career?

Just as Luke had suggested, it was something worth considering. She certainly didn't have an alternative in mind and she needed to do something before her family lost patience and she lost her mind wrestling with all this indecisiveness.

* * *

Sam glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that his nephew had finally fallen asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure which was worse, the long silences when Bobby said nothing at all or the string of unanswerable questions that had been thrown at Sam ever since his sister and brother-in-law had been killed in an accident two weeks earlier. The discovery that Bobby was being placed in his care had shocked
him
into silence, for sure. It was little wonder it had left the six-year-old thoroughly confused.

And now, here they were driving into Chesapeake Shores, a town where Sam hadn't even had time to get himself settled before learning about the tragedy that had taken Bobby's parents. He'd left his new job as a grieving brother, his only thoughts focused on getting through the funeral. Now he was returning as a single parent with so many thoughts and fears swirling in his head, he had no idea which needed to be tackled first. He'd put his own grief on the back burner so he could stay focused on the scared little boy suddenly in his care.

“Dinner,” he muttered under his breath. Whenever Bobby awakened, he'd be starving. The one thing Sam did know was that he couldn't go on feeding the boy nothing but fast food, the only thing that seemed to tempt Bobby to eat. Fortunately fast food was in short supply in Chesapeake Shores, which didn't have a chain restaurant in town. The closest McDonald's or Burger King was miles away.

Instead of heading straight to The Inn at Eagle Point, where he'd been staying since his arrival in town, Sam turned onto Shore Road and found a parking spot across from several local restaurants, including O'Brien's, a pub that specialized in traditional Irish comfort food. Wasn't that exactly what he and Bobby both needed? Something comforting and filling?

Exiting the car, he hesitated. Did he have to wake Bobby just so he could run in, order some food and run back across the street? It was early enough that the street was mostly deserted. The shops had closed, so few tourists were lingering along the waterfront, and it was too early for most people to be heading out for dinner. And it was, after all, Chesapeake Shores, a town without any significant crime except for the occasional high school prank.

Even as Sam opened the back door of the car, he could hear Bobby's soft snores. The boy looked so peaceful; it seemed a shame to wake him. Convincing himself his nephew would never be out of sight, he jogged across the street and went inside, grabbing a menu off the bar, then moving back to the doorway while he glanced through the offerings. Irish stew was the day's special. That sounded healthy and filling. And how long could it possibly take to dish it into a container so Sam could be on his way?

After one more glance to reassure himself that Bobby hadn't awakened, he returned to the bar, only to find no one there to take his order. In fact, the only person in the place was a young woman, her expression glum as she stared into a glass of wine she'd barely touched.