A Bride for Keeps (7 page)

Julia played with her dress’s shoulder seam. “If I could just be assured we’d get
along and he’d . . . I need to make up my mind one way or the other. I’m grateful
for your hospitality, but I’ve got to decide what I’m doing. I can’t stay here indefinitely.”

Rachel’s smile flipped down. “It is a bit crowded.”

She mentally surveyed her assets again, hoping she’d missed something. “I don’t have
the money to go home even if I wanted to. And I can’t stay here much longer.”

Rachel laid a hand on her shoulder. “You’re welcome here as long as you need.”

“Thanks.” She squeezed Rachel’s plump hand. “But I know it’s time to go, like I knew
it was time to leave home. I just need to do it.” She pushed dirty hay around with
her foot, then looked into Rachel’s soft eyes. “You sure he’d do right by me . . .
be kind? Do I even know enough to help him run a farm?” She shook her head. The Stantons
had only assigned her a bit of the farm chores, and all of them normally reserved
for the children.

Rachel’s face turned tender. “I’m positive. You two will do just fine.”

“It’s just . . . never mind. I’ve never been wanted for anything other than my looks.
Theodore . . . only found my face worthwhile for his wants.” She thumped her chest.
“I didn’t want to be a pawn for profit or some man’s whim. I couldn’t stay there and
work for nothing and be some man’s toy. I want so much more from life.” Tears spilled
over her cheeks. How she wished she could tell Rachel all that had happened, but the
shame when those images returned made her hold her tongue. If she couldn’t tell Rachel,
she couldn’t tell Everett. What would he think of her when she laid down her stipulations
for getting married?

Rachel slipped her arm around her slumped shoulders. “No use dwelling on something
that won’t happen. Put it behind you and look forward.” She smiled.

The barn door opened. Everett tipped his hat and led his horse around them.

While he talked to his horse in soft tones, Everett brushed out the animal. Julia’s
heart squeezed in time with his quick rhythm. Soon, she’d see if he’d have her. If
not, where would she go?

———

Everett had left the women in the barn so he could grab his horse, Julia’s words bouncing
around in his skull.

“Wouldn’t your wife need a horse?”

Everett patted Blaze’s neck, the wind blowing the gelding’s mane into his face. “How
would you like a buddy, ol’ boy?”

The horse nickered as it swung its neck around to sniff him.

“I might have to buy you one for my wife.”

My wife.

His heartbeat soared like the clouds racing across the dull
sky. He’d distanced himself, waiting for the inevitable pain of being abandoned once
again, but it looked like God wasn’t bound and determined to make him live his whole
life alone. And with a girl prettier than any he’d ever dreamed of. Patricia had been
pretty, but not gorgeous, and she’d never really wanted to be his wife. It ended up
that she was stringing him along, waiting for a wealthier fellow to marry.

He unwound the tether and tugged on Blaze’s harness. “Let’s get you inside and stabled
so I can have dinner with my intended.” His lungs emptied. He stopped for a second
and took in a cool sip of fresh air. No more needing to guard his feelings in case
she left. Tonight he’d get to know her as well as possible, for it couldn’t be long
before she’d want to marry and move out of the Stantons’ barn.

He pushed on the barn door, but stopped at the sound of Julia’s expressive voice.

“. . . the money to go home even if I wanted to. And I can’t stay here much longer.”

“You’re welcome here as long as you need.”

“Thanks. But I know it’s time to go, like I knew it was time to leave home. I just
need to do it.”

Everett retracted his hand as if the door had singed his fingers.

He turned to a nearby bucket, his foot poised to kick it across the yard, but he stopped
mid-swing. That would alert the women to his nearby presence. He ground a patch of
grass into the dirt instead. “Fool!” he hissed. “I should have stuck to my guns and
said ‘no more’ to this wife nonsense.”

Blaze nuzzled him.

He exhaled slowly before he calmed enough to talk to his horse. “Wanting oats, eh?
Well, you’ll have to wait until we get home. I’ve got to suffer through dinner with
her first.
But I won’t be long.” He strangled the leads in his hand. “I want to get home as quickly
as you do.” At least he wouldn’t be the only one disgraced this time. Perhaps Axel
and his crowd wouldn’t increase their mean-spirited teasing since their leader would
share in the humiliation.

He stepped to the door and pushed it over the dirt bump, wishing he had ignored the
invitation to dinner.

“I couldn’t stay there and work for nothing and be some man’s toy. I want so much
more from life.”

“No use dwelling on something that won’t happen. Put it behind you and look forward.”

How humiliating to listen to Rachel encourage the friend she’d set him up with to
leave him.

Julia’s face searched his for a moment before he forced his eyes away. The less he
looked at her the better. Another teasing woman. Why did God bless some women with
mouth-watering features if they only used their looks to get men to do whatever they
wanted with no intention of reciprocation? He felt like a chewed-up dog bone.

He took his time tethering Blaze in an empty stall, giving the horse a good rubdown
until he heard both sets of footsteps exit the barn. He patted Blaze’s neck. “I’ll
be back soon. I promise, boy.” But his feet wouldn’t move. He couldn’t stay for dinner.
He had to make an excuse.

Julia gripped the reins of the Stantons’ wagon as the wheels crunched over the dirt
tracks on the outskirts of Everett’s property. The man was either shy or noncommittal,
and she intended to find out which. He’d left the Stantons’ with barely a good-bye
minutes after she’d mentioned becoming his wife. Was he going to marry her or not?
She had bullied Dex into letting her tag along with him and the boys this morning.
Today would either be her last trip to Everett’s or the first of many.

“Give them more slack,” Dex said.

She relaxed her trembling grip.

“I do believe we’ve made it safe and sound. You sure you haven’t driven a team before?”

Her smirk twisted. The animals did most of the work, but she doubted she could handle
them without his help if they got upset. “We have a ways to go before we reach the
house.”

“You’ll do fine. You’ve done perfectly so far.”

A satisfied bubble filled her. Almost crowding out the jitters. The Stantons thought
she was ready for farm life, but did Everett?

“I’m glad you came to cook.” William popped up from
the back and let out a groan. “But I can’t wait. The smell of that apple pie is calling
to me something fierce. My stomach’s been grumbling the whole way over.”

“Me too.” John grabbed his stomach and hunched over the front seat. “I’m near starving.”

“You’re in bad shape, then.” Dex pushed John’s head full of thick hair playfully to
the side. “We’ve got hours of mending fence before lunch.”

“And I won’t be serving that pie until dinner.”

William and John moaned, causing her to smile.

Everett’s barn, barely illuminated by the dim morning light, loomed in front of them.
Wonder washed over her. The new structure dominated the landscape. And she had played
a part in that construction. She examined her gloveless hands, no longer white and
soft. How right to use them for creation and artistry, the construction of buildings,
the making of garments. A little rivulet of pride tingled down her back. The male
conversations she’d overheard in her father’s store flowed in from memory. The desire
to go west and build an existence from nothing made sense now. It was a heady thing.

Everett pushed backward through the barn doors, a bucket in each hand.

“Good morning, Everett,” Dex bellowed. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Stop the
wagon next to the barn. We’ll put the oxen in the new paddock.”

Nervous that the huge animals wouldn’t respond to her light feminine voice, she kept
the team headed in Everett’s direction with a firm hand.

He turned toward the wagon, set a bucket down, and shaded his eyes from the sun, which
was growing brighter every second. “Good morning, Dex.”

If her hands weren’t busy holding the reins, she’d cross
her fingers. Now it was time to see if the creatures would obey. “Whoa!”

“Rachel?” Everett squinted up at the wagon seat.

The team halted nice and easy, and she let out her breath. “No. It’s me, Julia.” She
couldn’t see his eyes, but sensed he wasn’t pleased. The same glare he’d given her
last night when he said he couldn’t stay cut through her.

“You drove?”

“Yes, it was great fun.” The oxen tugged gently on the reins as they ate the grass
within reach. She released the leather straps.

Everett ran his hand through his hair. “But . . . what—”

“I’m here to cook. Dex said you could finish today, so I came to serve lunch.” She
jumped down, not waiting for him to assist her, and took a step toward him. “I want
to help.”

“It’s worth it, Everett,” William said, rubbing his belly. “She made an apple pie.”
The young man handed her the basket, but when she tugged at it, he wouldn’t let go.
She shook her head at his grin.

Everett cleared his throat. “I’ve got to get these inside. Excuse me.” He picked his
buckets off the ground and scurried toward the cabin.

John jumped over the wagon’s side and ran after Everett’s black-and-white dog, Merlin,
while Dex and William took care of the oxen.

When would be the best time to ask him? Perhaps she should take advantage of the fact
that he was alone. Who knew how often that would happen today? She entered the cabin
and peeked around the open door, its hinge still loose.

Everett put his buckets down and walked to the window. He leaned his forearm against
the pane, followed by his forehead.

She cleared her throat.

He jumped, then straightened to his full height. “Sorry, I best get back out there.”

Her heart kathumped at the sound of his dejection. She tried to catch a glimpse of
his eyes as he passed, but he’d pulled his hat brim low, and the cabin shadows kept
her from seeing anything.

She reached out her hand and grasped a bit of his shirt sleeve. Now might not be the
best time, but now was what she had. “Can I have a word with you, Everett?” Seeing
his form stiffen, she let go. “Later, I mean. Would later be better? After lunch?”

“Sure.” He fidgeted with the door handle as if he were only waiting for a starting
gun to fire before racing to the fence line.

When she nodded, he slipped out the door.

She grabbed a bucket and followed him out but veered off toward the well. How could
he be afraid of her? She wasn’t even tall enough to see over his shoulder. Maybe he
wanted to back out and didn’t know how to tell her. Well, he’d have the chance this
afternoon.

The men laughed as they headed off into the pasture, their implements and posts loaded
in Everett’s smaller wagon. They disappeared in the direction Dex had told her they’d
be working. She pushed a sense of foreboding away.

Heart tangled in knots, she debated again the wisdom of her choice.

She pulled in a steadying breath. Living near Rachel trumped her other alternatives.
And she’d trust her friend not to lead her astray. And a man who wanted to run any
time she appeared would be less apt to bother her for marital favors. At least not
right away.

Her fingers played with the loose strands of hair at her neckline. Could she face
that in her future? With him? She
looked at the horizon, but the men had already disappeared behind a stand of trees.
His behavior might be odd, but something in the way he looked at her made her confident
he’d respect her wishes, unlike most men she’d met. Tremors still coursed through
her limbs when she sensed his admiring glances, but neither did she fear for her safety.
He was the kind of man she would have chosen, before Theodore. . . .

She needed something to do. Right now.

At the table, she unpacked the basket. A pile of dirty plates and an empty kettle
lay haphazardly on the small bit of counter space. Cobwebs clung to the feet of the
few furniture pieces in the tiny one-room shack. The small four-paned window would
let in more light if she removed the caked-on dirt. She cinched her apron strings
tight about her waist. If this would have to be her home until a new one was built,
it might as well be clean.

Julia stopped quite a distance from where the men worked and set the milk jug and
basket on the ground. Scrubbing Everett’s cabin had left her arms aching, and they
begged for a rest from the weight of food. Her heart needed the rest too. It pumped
so fast she was afraid it would burst.

Breathe, Julia.
She forced herself to take in air.
Nothing odd about bringing marriage up in conversation. That’s why he invited you
to Kansas.

She hefted her items and moved toward John, who finished setting a wooden rail before
running around William to push up the other end.

Why had she asked Everett to talk after lunch? Her cheeks burned. The Stantons would
guess what the conversation
was about when she asked him to take a walk with her. But it had to be today. No time
to plan a more private interview.

She took a final big breath and marched within hearing distance. “All right, boys.
I’ve brought lunch.”

“You brought us that pie?” John ran to her, his face glowing.

She couldn’t stop the tickle of a smile on her lips. “We should wait for dinner to
eat pie, don’t you think?”

“I sure could eat it up right now, Miss Julia. Two pies, even.”

She handed him the food basket and ruffled his hair with her freed hand. “I don’t
doubt that for a second.” She snatched the blanket off the top and scanned the area
for shade. “But I’m sure you’ll survive on whatever meager portions I brought you.”

She flicked out the blanket as much as the wind allowed, then stomped on the dull
red fabric to bend the grasses underneath. John jumped on it next to her and used
his body as a rolling pin. When he deemed the blanket flat enough, she settled herself
at a corner. He rolled over to her and stopped on his belly, his head resting in his
hands.

“I wish they’d hurry, Miss Julia. I’m awful hungry.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re always hungry.”

The others were finishing a section of fence. Everett wasn’t as tall as Dex, which
was a good thing. She didn’t want to spend her life with a crick in her neck talking
to her husband.

“Still wish they’d go faster.” John rolled over onto his back and caterwauled, his
little hands gripping his shirt at the stomach.

She jabbed tickling fingers into his armpit. His high tenor giggles burst forth way
too easily.

The men sauntered over and lowered themselves to the
ground. Julia adjusted her posture to sit more ladylike. Her body’s awareness of Everett’s
closeness tripped her heart into a chaotic rhythm. Deep breaths did nothing to steady
the tempo.

Only John’s eyes held a sparkle of merriment. The others simply looked weary. And
something more in Everett’s intent gaze unnerved her. Julia poured milk into tin cups.
“Have you had a good morning of work?”

Dex took the first cup. “I’d say so. I think we can get it done before supper.”

“That would be good.” Everett took a cup from her, his eyes meeting hers for only
a second.

William downed his milk as soon as she set it in his hands and then returned it for
more. She shook her head at his bottomless stomach and refilled. “I’ll have supper
waiting whenever that time comes. But for lunch, I’ve got bacon, buttered rolls, cheese,
and . . .” She brought the basket to her face with an exaggerated look of astonishment.
“What is this I have in here? I think the pie jumped into my lunch basket.” She pulled
the apple pie out and smiled at the joyous look on John’s face. “Maybe it ought to
be eaten for lunch after all.”

“Yes!” John’s two big front teeth poked through his face-wide smile. He held out his
hands.

She laughed. “After we eat.”

“That’s all right.” He rubbed his tummy. “I’ll still have room enough to eat it all
up.”

“You’ll be sharing that, boy.” Dex clamped his hand over John’s head, hat and all.

Chuckling, Julia glanced at Everett. A tiny smile graced his face, but when she caught
his gaze, his mouth tightened. He took a sip from his cup and looked out over the
land.

Despite the sun overhead, she shivered.

The adults ate while listening to John talk about his recent fishing exploits, the
fun he was having fencing, and anything else the boy’s mind lighted upon.

Her heart beat harder as the food disappeared and the grown men grew restless. Dex
pushed off the blanket and thanked her for the meal. Everett tipped his hat to her
while the boys’ chorus of gratitude echoed their father.

Now or never.
“Everett?”

He stood, head cocked to the side as the other three headed to the fence.

How in the world could she make her galloping heart calm itself? “Might we talk?”

“Sure. Said we could.” He didn’t move.

She glanced behind him toward the Stantons. They’d hear at this distance. And with
Everett’s reactions, she was pretty sure she was going to get turned down. She didn’t
want them to hear that. Her fingers found her brooch. Not sure she wanted to hear
that either. Not now that she’d reconciled herself to the decision. “Would you mind
walking with me? My legs need stretching.” Actually, they were about to collapse,
but she’d get them to move.

He pointed to a nearby pond. “That’s a good place to walk if you’ve a mind to.” He
smashed his hat on his head and set off with long strides.

She gathered her skirts and followed him. Evidently, talking while walking was not
something Everett did.

At the edge of the pond, he gestured toward the willow tree’s long branches sweeping
the water’s surface. Its tiny light green buds shone against the still-brown grasses
of the bank. “Prettiest tree on the place.”

She nodded though he wasn’t looking at her. “It’s lovely.”
Her teeth chewed on her inner cheek. An army of tiny frogs jumped into the rippling
water.

“So?” He turned to her. His biceps bulged where his arms crossed.

If only he was less distant, she wouldn’t feel like she’d plucked this subject out
of thin air. But if he had been eager for this arrangement, she would have run away
the first day she’d arrived.