A Breath Until Forever (16 page)

“Okay.” Replied Meredith.

“I love you.” Warmly said Benjamin.

Meredith couldn't say that she loved him back. She felt ashamed that she couldn't, but why lie? Even through the ambiguous wires of electricity, her lie would be transparent.

“Say hello to Daniel for me, will you?” Said Meredith.

“I will.” Said Benjamin.

Meredith then hung up the phone. She looked into the living room, where Joshua was sitting down in an old chair with an afghan thrown over the top, whittling away on a small piece of wood with a switchblade knife. He was busy carving a dog that looked very similar to Izzy, although his wood crafting skills were amateurish and lacked any kind of real aptitude.

Without looking up, Joshua asked, “Everything good?” He sliced a fine piece of thin wood from the side of the wooden dog, almost cutting his adjacent finger when he did.

“Yes.” Meredith replied weakly.

Joshua stopped whittling for a moment, then looked up through the living room and over to Meredith. Their eyes met. She was still standing by the phone that was now hung up, holding her towel as if her dear life depended on it. She began to lightly shake due to the breeze that was trickling through the opened kitchen window. Her hair was wet, stringy, beads of the shower rain dripping down her shoulders.  He thought how beautiful she looked, just like this, without any make up on, all natural and wet. Just gorgeous. All he wanted to do more than anything now was to take that towel off, and make love to her body, every beautiful inch, licking off the beads of the wetness the shower had drizzled, and taste the soap, the cleanness, her femininity in its organic state, on his tongue, and on his soul.

Joshua went back to his whittling, looking down at the sculpture he was working on as he did. It was starting to take shape now, and you could see a nose from the wooden dust. “Maybe you shouldn't be here.” He said, slicing his knife deeper and further then ever before. 

Meredith was a little stunned by his words. She wrapped the towel around her even tighter. “It's fine. We are just friends, right?”

Joshua got up. He put his switchblade knife back in his pocket, then put his wooden dog sculpture on top of the TV. “Right.” His reply was sarcastic, and Meredith could feel its sting bite her.

“I'm sorry Joshua, I forgot I gave him this number.” Meredith confessed.

Joshua, although a little angry about it, once looking at Meredith again, looking so innocent and lost in his towel, replied warmly. “It's fine, really. I don't mind.” All was forgotten, and all was forgiven.

He really had no intention to say any further, and even though he felt at a disclosure, to confess the feelings that he was feeling deep inside, he thought it would be best to leave them alone to be tortured in his heart.

“Well, I'm going to get back to the shower.” Meredith said.

“Okay.” Replied Joshua and he watched as she returned back down the hall, sharply turned to her right, then went back into the bathroom so she may finish getting dressed.

Minutes later, Meredith joined Joshua on the front porch who was admiring a beautiful sunset come dancing in from the west. She glanced over at Izzy, who was now sprawled out in the front yard, basking in the enjoyment of such a beautiful view and warmth. Meredith's hair was still damp, but brushed back and put into a tight ponytail, a part lined the middle, a flower decorated her wet, dark hair. She wore a faded blue long sleeve peasant blouse with a scooped neckline, and of course her favorite sandals that were so fatigued from being worn from the many thousands of miles she had tread in all of her midlife adventures. She also wore a pair of destroyed jean shorts with a heavily frayed hem. Meredith was a leggy lady, and although she was older, she still owned a pair of great gams. She showed off her winning form in these shorts and bedazzled Joshua with them. Joshua admired her shorts, and his eyes stalked her legs with great satisfaction. Her legs were so sexy! So hot! He also admired her sandals, and the way her little toes peeked out of them. She had such cute tiny little toes. Not too stubby, all natural, but neatly trimmed.

Joshua wore a crisp white button down collar shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow light faded jeans silver bracelet the two tops of his shirt open to expose .

“Thank you for the shower.” Thanked Meredith sincerely.

“Not as good as a pressure at the hotel though.” Joshua commented referring to his shower that collected water from a well, and didn't go very strongly through the rusty plumbing of the old ranch house.

“Better.” She reveled. The water pressure had been better, even though it had spit and sputtered at her. The motel's shower definitely needed a plumbing service call, something the owners must have put off for at least ten years.

“Dinner done?”
 

“
Yeah, everything's done, all staying warm up on the stove.”

Meredith and Joshua sat down for dinner. Joshua shared his temporary use with drugs, and how he relapsed after Adrienne had passed away. He kicked the habit, but his thirst of alcohol only grew. He also told her about how he got into trouble with the ranch after spending money for drugs, and how he charged up all his credit cards, took out a lot of loans, and how he had taken out a second mortgage from the bank. And although Joshua confessed all these horrible parts about himself, Meredith couldn't help but feel more attracted to him, for being real. For not holding back. And for sharing those things inside of him, that he obviously felt guilty and horrible about. And Joshua felt more attracted to Meredith as well, feeling like the weight off his shoulders had been lifted, and that he had felt like a new man after admitting to Meredith all of his sins. They finished their dinner, then had the pie for dessert. Meredith was now full, as so was Joshua, and Joshua got up and placed the dishes in the sink to be washed later that night.

Meredith went to grab her purse that she had sitting on the couch. It was a leather purse with fringe, something she had purchased out on the Navajo reservation in New Mexico. “I'm going to leave now.” Meredith told Joshua as she started to head out the door.

“
Don't leave.” Joshua stopped Meredith at the door. Meredith was a bit confused. She thought she had already over welcomed her stay already, and didn't want to progress into more of a burden.

“I mean,...”

“You want me to stay?” Asked Meredith feeling that Joshua seemed just as lonely as her, but his loneliness was more transparent.

“Not the night or anything.” Said Joshua, stumbling on his words, feeling awkward that his loneliness was making him appear rather desperate. He also didn't want her to feel that she was feeling pressured to sleep with him, which, he would if the opportunity presented himself, but it was something he wasn't going to force on her.

“Okay.” Meredith put her purse down, then sat down in a leather wing back chair that was pinned with silver studs.

“What would you like to talk about?” Meredith instantly felt awkward, knowing that there was nothing else to talk about since everything that was to be talked about, had already been conversed.

Joshua sat directly across from Meredith, sitting in a wooden chair that had a leg that was unbalanced, and squeaked when he sat down.

“Not sure.” Joshua half smiled, and instantly felt disappointed that he was failing at talking with Meredith. He had asked her to stay longer, and yet he was falling short in keeping the conversation going strong.

“Thanks for the shower. It was nice.” Meredith said, empty words that needed to be said in order to break the uncomfortably that was transpiring.  “I needed that shower, although I admit, I miss taking a bath. A nice long bath. With candles and bubbles. Soaking in it, letting all my worries slip away.”

“Are there no baths in the rooms that you stay in?”

“Not really.” Meredith admitted. “I stay in a lot of cheap motels. Can't see spending extra money for a room that I am not staying long in. All I need is a bed to sleep in, and somewhere to finish my painting, if the weather doesn't compromise with me.”

“I see.” Joshua then confessed something to Meredith. “I can't tell you the last time I took a bath.”

“Really?” Meredith seemed a little stunned.

“Yeah.”

Meredith then thought of an idea. “You should take a bath. Right now.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Your here, and your company.”

“I can wait for you.”

Joshua elated at this idea. To soak in a bathtub was something that seemed like a commodity, until now. There was something about Meredith that opened up new directions in thought.

“Do real men take baths?”

Meredith chuckled. “I suppose they do.”

Joshua slapped his hands on his knees, and quickly got up off the chair. “Okay, it's settled then, I'm going to take a bath.”

As Joshua got completely up, he said, “You know I've never been in that tub since I've moved in here after my parents died.” He said. “Truth is, I could use a good soaking, I bet it would feel good.”

Joshua started to walk towards the bathroom, “That is, if you don't mind. You really don't mind that I take a bath?”

Meredith smiled. “Not at all, it's your bath.”

Just before Joshua was to make a sharp right turn, in order to walk towards the direction to as where the bathroom was, Joshua turned around. “You make me relax Meredith Hurley, and I like that.”

“I'm so glad.” Meredith smiled, her honey eyes twinkled.

“I am usually so uptight, especially lately with having to take that job so that I can pay the bills for the ranch. The ranch has been so hard to keep.”

There was a chemistry of human attractiveness between the both of them, and the way that Meredith looked at Joshua and the way that Joshua looked at Meredith explained how the sounds, sights affected their sex appeal that they felt strongly with each other.

“You know, I am usually so uptight and a ball of nerves.” He said.

“You need to relax more.” Said Meredith. “You should grab a beer to go with your bath. Really relax those nerves into jelly.”

“Yeah, that would be great.” Joshua

“Hey listen, you don't mind that I hang out for awhile? I could use some relaxing myself. You know, while you took your bath? I mean it's so peaceful here. I need to paint sure, but I could use a night off. Veg out on your front porch with Izzy  and you know, gaze out at the stars or something.”

“Your more then welcome too. I don't mind.” Joshua replied.

“Thanks.” Meredith twirled a piece of her long hair around her finger, flirting with  him

“Your a really nice guy, do you know that Joshua?” Meredith complimented.

“And your a really nice woman.” He said.

It's been awhile since I felt so relaxed with someone he said. So at peace.

He went into the fridge and grabbed a beer. It was a long necked bottle, condensation perspiring heavily on the glass. He took the beer, walked over to the bathroom, then placed it ever so closely to the cheap square tub that also doubled as a shower. He ran a high temperature bath for himself, mixed in some pink foamy bubble bath, then settled in with his beer. He soaped up, then slid down deep into the water, bubbles surfacing to the upper ceramic edge, then soaked for a little while. While he relaxed, he thought about her taking a shower here a couple of hours ago and the water running down her body made him get all hot thinking about it and it felt incredibly erotic. It was erotic to think that the same bar of soap that had lathered her, had lathered him, then had run down the body of a beautiful woman who turned him on so much. A slight boner began to pinch through the bubbles.

It was simple, but a beer and a bath was just what he needed to unwind. Between saving the ranch and working his job and trying to figure out how he was going to pay all of his bills, he had been stressed out. Why didn't he think about it earlier? A good long bath with a beer probably would have rescued him from the grief from lots of heartache. Like after his fiance had died, a part of him had died too, and even though a bath would never had replaced her tenderness, it did seem to repair parts of his soul that had been softened. Joshua wished that Meredith could join him in the bath and be naked with her, but that wasn't going to be. But the fantasy about it made him hard, and he protracted a firmness that he hadn't raged since making love to Adrienne three days before the tornado had plucked her off the ranch and into an immortal grave. Joshua was weak now, and was susceptible of being a chauvinistic pig, appearing before Meredith naked and asking her if she would join him in hopes he would ride him in the tub, but he was perfectly aware of the consequences that would bring and so he easily dismissed it, all the while tugging at his hardness until he felt good enough not to ask. He took some shaving cream, and a razor, and shaved off the coarseness of facial hair that had grown the past week, making his face now show off a rather clever cleft chin that had been hiding in the shadows.