A Blackbird In Darkness (Book 2) (27 page)

Yet, holding it, he felt euphoric, certain of power. He sensed a spirit of comradeship with the Silver Staff; for once he was confident, assured – whole.

Eldor gave him a scabbard, a slim rigid tube of red leather. Estarinel strapped this around his waist and slid the Staff inside, sharp end first. A leather flap fitted over the top so that it was completely enclosed.

‘Come, then,’ said Eldor.

They walked through the eerie castle of red glass until they passed under the archway to the outside. The green of the grass was brilliant, almost physical in its intensity in contrast to the red light. Eldor led him some distance down the hill and sat under one of the copper beeches, his great arms clasped round his knees. He still looked just as he had in the House of Rede – wise, kindly and human.

‘So, Master Eldor,’ said Estarinel, ‘what are you doing here?’

‘Ah, that is a long story. I want to tell it all in order.’ Eldor spoke thoughtfully. Estarinel could feel no animosity towards him, only towards the other Guardians. ‘Dritha and I were terribly worried about you. We discovered that the H’tebhmellian ship had not arrived on the Blue Plane, but we did not know what had happened to you. We thought the Serpent M’gulfn had won already. It wasn’t until I came here,’ he waved a hand at the blood-red castle, ‘that I heard, to my relief, that you were safe. Dritha still does not know, alas.’

‘Is Dritha–?’

‘Dritha is also a Guardian, yes. She chose to remain at the House of Rede to give comfort to the refugees.’

‘What do you mean – refugees?’

‘Ah, alas,’ sighed Eldor, ‘the world is falling rapidly into the Serpent’s power. Anarchy is running through Tearn and Vardrav, accentuated by the crumbling of the Gorethrian Empire. Beasts of the Serpent roam freely, instilling terror and causing plagues and famines. The very elements have turned savage, the Earth erupting with newborn volcanoes, its coasts lashed by tidal waves... A few humans – comparatively few, by which I mean hundreds – have escaped to the House of Rede, which is safe as yet.’

‘To think that when I began, I thought only Forluin was suffering.’

‘The Serpent is possessed by an overwhelming loathing of mankind. It wishes only to cause chaos and destruction until the Earth belongs totally to itself again.’

‘It seems to me,’ said Estarinel, a little sharply, ‘that the Guardians can only fight M’gulfn by being as cruel and callous as it is.’

‘Estarinel, it gives me sorrow to see you so embittered. Still, perhaps the Guardians have deserved your anger. Understand, when I try to explain their actions, I am not trying to excuse them. They were not going to tell you anything, but I insisted.’

‘Yes, I heard you arguing.’ Estarinel noted the care with which Eldor referred to them as ‘they’ and not ‘we’.

‘And there’s something else I want you to know, although I am not trying to excuse myself either: Dritha and I did not know about the Silver Staff. Because we were on Earth, the other Guardians withheld the knowledge from us. I didn’t know about it until I came here, having been summoned to help – and they insist it is the very nature of the tests to be irrational and arduous, so only the pure of heart would win through.’

‘Well, I’ll accept that it wasn’t your fault. But why was it necessary,’ his voice became choked with anguish, ‘for Calorn to be murdered? Just – savagely, pointlessly – by that shape-changing thing. And after that, as if scratching around for what little else they could take from me, they even lured my horse over that cliff.’

‘Estarinel,’ said Eldor gently, ‘Calorn is not dead.’

‘What do you mean? I saw–’

‘It was an illusion.’

‘And Shaell?’

‘Your horse is alive. To him, there was no cliff, just a little drop and an inviting meadow.’

‘I can’t believe it. It was so real. And those wretched people on the cliff?’

‘All illusions – or at least, only a temporary reality. This domain can make anything seem real: deserts, paradoxical buildings, people... murders. I swear to you that Calorn was not killed. She rode away unharmed.’

Estarinel was silent for a few seconds, thinking this over. ‘But I believed it was real! Why torment me with such illusions? Eldor, my family were killed. In that black tower, I saw it happen! It was worse than cruel. It was abominable,’ he finished in a whisper.

Eldor looked sad. ‘I agree. I did not approve of it, but it was only my voice against all the others. They had to be sure you could carry on, not only through physical perils, but against the most absolute despair. And not just carry on blindly, but with perception and intelligence.’

‘Well, I hope they were satisfied,’ Estarinel muttered.

‘The Grey Ones have no real understanding of human emotions, you see. A man watching the behaviour of an insect finds it fascinating, but has no concept of how the insect may feel or suffer. They know that if you are treated in a certain way, you will react in a certain way, with anger, fear, grief, and so on. Yet they do not know how these things feel. In this way they are, I agree, cruel and inhuman.’

‘And it was the Guardians who required these tests, wasn’t it? Not the Silver Staff at all. I could tell when I touched it. It is innocent.’

Eldor sighed through his nose. ‘No, the Staff is pure. There is a difference. It’s pure, hard and demanding, and that’s why it demands purity from its bearer. It had to be sure of you, but so did the Guardians. The Silver Staff tried your mind and heart, but the Guardians manipulated reality to put flesh on those tests.’

‘All in it together, then?’

With the merest frown, Eldor expressed weary patience, and the heaviness of his conflict between being honest and defending the Guardians’ actions. ‘There is something they would not want me to tell you, Estarinel, but I shall. They do not know what the Silver Staff is. They do not understand its nature. They’ve used it as a vessel to contain the power that is opposite to the Serpent’s, but they are unsure of the Staff itself. Even a little afraid.’ He cleared his throat. ‘You see, the Silver Staff is like a child. It would have chosen or rejected you in a heartbeat. The Guardians needed more.’

‘As in, more bloodshed and torment.’

‘Estarinel. After all their pains to persuade it to their purpose, they could hardly risk giving it to a mere mortal without some proof that he was worthy to bear it. And if we’d let the Staff alone decide… if it had rejected you, it would have killed you the moment you touched it.’

Eldor’s words only inflamed him to fresh anger. ‘But why the pretence? The stories that thousands sought the Staff, and that it insisted on that ludicrous assault course? Why did the Lady of H’tebhmella lie to us?’

‘She did not. The Guardians lied to her.’

‘They – why?’

‘Because if she had thought that the tests were not inevitable, she would never have permitted them.’ Eldor’s words dropped like stones into a cold, dark pool. Estarinel stared at him, incredulous.

‘You’ve confirmed everything I suspected,’ he said at last. ‘The Guardians are deceivers. To lie to the H’tebhmellians is – beyond contempt. It is unforgivable.’

‘I agree with you,’ Eldor said.

‘And in spite of their heartlessness, they are yet “human” enough not to want anyone to think badly of them? Or to suspect that they are imperfect?’

‘Yes, I am afraid so. When I’ve finished describing the Grey Ones, you may think even less of them than you do now,’ said Eldor with irony. ‘Countless ages ago, long before man evolved upon the Earth, the Guardians went to the Serpent and tore out one of its three eyes in order to reduce its powers.’

‘Yes, I know. The Lady told us.’

‘Then imagine the rage with which it reacted. Its power over mankind had been reduced. It developed a hatred of mankind – and, indeed, of all life that was not of its own making – even before such life appeared. Its malice was vast, feeding on itself continually. Do you see what this means?’

‘I’m beginning to.’

‘The very hatred that it now directs against Forluin and the rest of the world, the hatred that created the Shana, was sparked off by this act of the Guardians.’

‘Ye gods! Is there any end to this?’ Estarinel cried. ‘Are you implying that if they had not interfered, the Worm would have lived peacefully and left us all alone?’

‘Perhaps. Or perhaps the world would have fallen into its power eons ago. No one, not even the Grey Ones, can say what would have been. But the next thing they did was more terrible, in its way. The Serpent had created for itself beings that we call the Shana. The Guardians caused their Dark Regions to be removed from Earth, which resulted in a cosmic battle that can’t even be visualized by humans. The struggle was only ended by shifting the Dark Regions to the far side of H’tebhmella, so that the Blue Plane itself acted as a shield and constraint against the darkness.’

Estarinel was appalled almost beyond words. ‘You’re telling me that the Guardians were responsible–?’

‘The truth is muddy,’ said Eldor. ‘The Grey Ones claim it was a ghoulish trick of the Shana, since it pleased the Serpent to foul the Blue Plane. The face of H’tebhmella you have seen is a place of exquisite healing beauty. The other side was lovelier still, beautiful beyond imagination and with a purpose that only the H’tebhmellians could truly comprehend. They have never divulged exactly what has been lost. But when the Dark Regions came there, they were justifiably outraged. An abominable act had been performed against them, and they blamed the Guardians. The H’tebhmellians have continued to work with the Grey Ones, but not without resentment and mistrust.’

‘Because the Guardians had colluded with the Shana,’ breathed Estarinel. ‘Don’t tell me it was a compromise. It was a disgusting betrayal.’

‘Some of us thought so too. Notably Dritha and myself. You see, the Guardians are not gods – though when men call upon the name of the gods it is no doubt with some vague concept of the Grey Ones in mind – and our function is only to enforce the rules, not to make them. To keep a balance, and maintain the universe in benign neutrality. I must tell you that we know of no gods – only of cosmic energies that have to be kept in check. And this the Guardians do by manipulating, using, twisting the rules – anything to achieve their end.

‘Dritha and I were afraid for this Earth, however. We felt that there was something that mattered more than the balancing of distant, mindless powers. We decided to stay upon the Earth and watch over her. In doing so, remaining in flesh-and-bone bodies and being in continual contact with humans, we learned human values, conscience and love.’ He paused for a few seconds, apparently lost in thought. ‘So don’t condemn us out of hand, Estarinel, as being exactly like our comrades. We were not deceiving you. We do truly care about the world.’

‘I believe you, Master Eldor.’

‘But the other Guardians disapproved. They tried to stop us. They said we were being foolish, sentimental. They warned us that we were breaking our own rule that we may not interfere directly with mankind. They said that the idea of a House of refuge and learning was madness, because we risked giving too much away. But we disobeyed them and lived on Earth anyway. We only watched and advised – we cannot give material help or instruction – but the other Grey Ones still insisted that we were flouting the law. So they held us in contempt, treating us as outcasts and not consulting us about their schemes.’

‘Until it suited them.’

‘Indeed. It suited them to use us in the Quest of the Serpent. They would not tell us about the Silver Staff, yet they needed me to help them prepare it. They have delighted in both keeping us in the dark and using us; revenge for our defiance. Dritha, as I told you, refused to answer their summons, feeling that her duty lay at the House of Rede. I would have preferred to stay with her – but I came here because I needed to know what the Guardians were up to, and because I was concerned for you.’

Estarinel listened to this with his head bowed. Presently he said, ‘So Medrian, Ashurek and myself are being used to undo the Guardians’ mistakes?’

‘In a way. This is what I could not tell you when you first came to the House of Rede.’

‘So you were using us, but being used in your turn... and likewise the H’tebhmellians. Next you’ll tell me that the Guardians engineered the attack on Forluin so that a Forluinishman “clear of purpose” could be used to bear the Silver Staff!’

Eldor sighed at his outburst. ‘Ah, no, Estarinel, even the Grey Ones are not that twisted and cruel.’

‘But why could you not have told us all this at the beginning? I feel – I’m sorry, Eldor, but I feel that even you have deceived us!’

‘I swear that I have never lied to you. Only said less than I could have done. Yes, you have been used as tools in the hands of the Grey Ones, and will continue to be used so. But how would knowing this from the start have helped? How has it helped you now?’

‘Perhaps it hasn’t. It’s made me disillusioned, but at least I’m nearer the truth. I couldn’t have assimilated this knowledge at the start of the Quest. But I’ve been through so much since then; I’ve changed. Now I can also be cold-hearted and manipulative. I will co-operate with these manipulators whom I loathe for their inhumanity, simply because I will go to any length – any – to restore my country.’

There was a new, grim depth of purpose in Estarinel’s voice. Eldor placed a hand on his shoulder and there was empathy between them, threaded with bitter sadness, yet somehow reassuring.