A Better Man (The Men of Halfway House) (28 page)

"Dad, I was guilty," Matt admitted.

"Son—"

"No, Dad, now you listen," Matt said fiercely. "I was guilty. Alex worked under me and it was my responsibility to make sure everything was right. I was too self-involved and didn't see things wrong that were clearly screaming for attention. If I had paid attention, done my job, and been the big brother Alex sought and needed, everything could have been avoided. So when everything happened, I went back and altered his signatures to mine on the original paperwork. He was too young and it was ultimately my responsibility."

Matt's father visibly deflated. He silently toyed with the coffee mug with a look of concentration. At that moment, Matt had a flash of regret at having revealed the truth of what he had done. Only a handful of people knew he had altered the paperwork—Alex, Sam, Lindy, and Julian—and the thought of his father's disappointment weighed heavily on his heart. He had made a little bit of progress with his father, baby steps, but now, he felt as if he'd taken twenty steps backward.

His dad finally shook his head. "We're more alike than you may realize. We feel responsible for everything and everyone and are forever guilt-ridden if something doesn't go as planned."

Matt sighed with relief.

"I want to sell my portion of the business," his father began. "Pass it along to an investor or the rest of the board if they wish. I'm not getting any younger and so much has happened in the last few years, I need to make a change."

"Are you okay?" Matt asked quickly.

"I have high blood pressure and I'm on medication. I'm fine now, but your grandfather and his father passed away from heart attacks. I'd like to try stepping back for a bit so I can see my children happy and try to enjoy life a little."

"I'm sure Mom isn't thrilled about this. I think she enjoys the lifestyle that comes with the status," Matt said, knowing how fiercely protective his mother was about money and all the perks that came with it, but he couldn't contain the worry for his father's health in his tone.

"The company has done well and we have sufficient savings to support ourselves without issue. There's even enough for you and Alex set aside," his father said before nearing as if whispering a secret. "Your mother doesn't know that."

Matt laughed at his father's casualness. "You always made us work for our money."

"There's a certain sense of responsibility that comes from working and being independent. I didn't want to take that away from you or your brother," his father said with the fire of protectiveness burning in his pale gray eyes.

"I dreaded having to take over the company someday," Matt quietly admitted.

"I know, and so did your brother. I know how it feels to be forced to take over a company you don't want. It's too much of a responsibility to ensure hundreds of employees and their families are taken care of and it's a huge weight for someone like you and me because we seem to take things to heart more than most. The two of you realized that in your own way and wanted out. I didn't have that choice, but I want to make sure that choice is never taken from the two of you."

"Thank you, Dad."

"Don't thank me just yet," he said with a hint of a smile. "We're fine but I'll have to sell the house and the cars. Cut back a bit to ensure we have enough for our remaining years. So I can't keep contributing to the fund I set aside for you and your brother, but—"

"Dad, I don't want it. You use it to take care of yourself and—"

Matt's father placed a hand on Matt's to stop him. "I have set aside money for the both of you, period. It's modest, but enough to help you with whatever you decide to do with your life. That is not subject for discussion nor is it something your mother will ever touch. If you choose to not use the money for yourself, then invest it in expanding on more houses such as this one to help others. That is up to you. I had hoped to leave it as part of your inheritance, but after thinking about things more carefully, I don't want either of you to wait until I'm dead and have to worry about fighting with your mother for anything that is rightfully yours."

"Dad—"

"Matthew, please. Don't argue with me on this. Your brother didn't want the money either when I spoke to him of this earlier today. Seems the independence of working on your own was a lesson learned rather firmly by the both of you," he said with a gentle grin filled with affection.

Matt smiled. "I'm proud of Alex," he said in response.

"I'm proud of him as well. It's great to see him finally putting his life in order. And Lindy seems strong enough to make sure he doesn't stumble along the way."

"Yes, she is. She's one of the few people who know what really happened with the paperwork and she's intensely protective of him."

His father nodded then fiddled with the handle of the mug as he spoke. "So…tell me more about your halfway house."

Matt beamed, always excited to talk about the house. "It's a place of second chance. Sometimes, when people get out of prison, they have a hard time getting back on their feet, whether it be money, family, or whatever the reason. We want it to be welcoming, like a home should be so they feel comfortable enough to take that chance and take charge of their life."

"You invested your aunt's inheritance and the sale of your condo into this place?" His father asked without condescension in his voice.

"Yes. I used the inheritance to buy the building and the money from the sale of the condo has been used for the renovations." Warmth flooded him as he realized the pride he felt in the home he and Julian had taken a year to build.

"I've squeezed every cent of value possible. You should have seen it before the work started. Every contractor avoided the house except for Julian. It's taken time, but we are so close to being there." He paused for a second, considering some of the memories that this house now held—of pizza, kisses, long showers, and so much love.

"I'm proud of you, Matt."

Matt looked up and blinked, trying to balance the shock and emotion of those few simple words. He asked, hesitantly, his voice tight with emotion, "Would you like to see what we've done?"

His dad moved to place the mug in the tiny makeshift sink. "I would love to. I would also like to speak to Julian. I feel I owe him an apology or two and much gratitude."

Matt led his father through the house, listening to each comment his father made from room to room. He mentioned flooring in Matt's old office, the painting in the hall, and the color choices for the various rooms. When they went up to the second floor and found Julian on all fours working on installing the last of the wood flooring with his ass in the air, the tension in the room was palpable. Suddenly his dad was quiet, and Julian stood, using the wall for balance. He rubbed dusty hands on his worn jeans and hesitated.

Matt wasn't sure exactly what to say. His dad's expression was serious, Julian's was wary. He saw Julian rubbing his leather cuff, as he usually did when he was anxious. He had probably heard some of the conversation and would be aware it wasn't a shouting match but a civilized discussion. Finally both men independently decided they needed to start again. They extended hands and shook warmly.

"Sir," Julian said.

"Call me Mitch," Matt's father responded quickly. "This is wonderful work. The house looks very welcoming."

"A few more weeks, a couple of inspections, and an interview, then we're open for business." The affection in Julian's voice for their new home was as obvious as the softening of his expression.

Standing here, the three of them, Matt tried to focus on the house and what remained to be finished. He didn't want to think about his mother or what she had tried to do. After a lifetime of trying to be the ideal son, he finally realized it just didn't matter to his mother. Even while he was in prison, she had tried to control who came to see him. He didn't want to think about all the times his dad may have come to visit him and how much that would have meant to him. Maybe his dad having a sit-down with her and discussing his plans for the company would change things. Only time would tell.

Julian was right. A few more weeks and everything was going to begin. They may well have avoided having money taken from them but the deadlines alone left more than enough to worry about.

He had zoned out of the conversation. When he rejoined reality, he heard his dad and Julian still talking but the conversation had somehow transitioned into cars, engines, and all kinds of other automotive grease and dirt related things Matt didn't care about. He watched as his dad and Julian had a casual discussion, the tension no longer existed. He couldn't help but smile as he noticed the ease with which they laughed and spoke.

It was both refreshing and comforting, definitely not what he had been used to with his family.

It was nice.

* * * *

"Earth to Matt?" Julian teased with a smile. He'd noticed Matt had spaced out somewhere during the debate between carburetor versus fuel injection. Julian knew Mitch's visit was a big deal to Matt, he just hoped their discussion in the kitchen was a step in the right direction.

"I'm here." Matt grinned. "Sorry, Dad, I'm not into cars," he confessed.

Mitch and Julian gasped in mock offense then laughed. Matt chuckled and shook his head.

"Well, I've got to go into the office and review some papers," Mitch said to Matt, before turning to Julian. "It was a pleasure chatting with you." He shook Julian's hand again. "You guys are doing something really good here."

He turned to Matt and said, "I'm so proud of you, Son." His father then pulled him into an embrace.

Matt was obviously shocked but his hands slowly rose in response to the hug. He then screwed his eyes shut and gripped his father's shoulders. When Mitch finally released him, Matt was doing his
deer in headlights
look. Julian and Matt followed him as he walked out of the room then made his way down the stairs.

He drove away with a final wave good-bye to them as they stood by the window.

Matt had not said another word.

"Was that the first time he hugged you like that?" Julian tentatively asked.

Matt simply nodded.

Julian wrapped his arms around Matt from behind.

"Was that the first time he said he was proud of you?" Julian whispered as he rested his chin on Matt's shoulder.

"Second time," Matt responded hoarsely. "First was in the kitchen," he added quietly.

Julian realized that all the money Matt may have had growing up didn't matter as much as those few spoken words. Julian may not have had much of a father in that sonofabitch sperm donor of his, but Julian did have a mother who was always there to love, guide, and comfort him when needed and who always told him how proud she was whenever he did well at anything, regardless of how small.

Matt hadn't had that growing up.

He quickly turned in Julian's embrace and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in the crook of Julian's neck.

They stood there for a while just holding each other.

Julian should go back to work and try to meet the insane deadline that was creeping up on them, but he didn't care. Being the person Matt turned to for comfort and support was all that mattered.

Chapter 20

June

"Fuck!" Julian heard Matt yell, followed by a thump.

His heart raced as he ran out of the kitchen into the living room. "What happened?"

Matt was cradling one hand in the other and a hammer lay on the floor next to him.

Julian sighed with relief. Although the meeting between the hammer and thumb wasn't life threatening, it was apparently enough to push Matt over the edge.

"We're not going to make it," Matt said as he deflated, walking over to the large boxes in the corner as he shook the hand he had been cradling. "We've got the last inspection scheduled in a couple of hours." He grunted as he attempted to push a large box containing a washer/dryer to one side. "We need to pass it before the interview tomorrow with the state rep for the certification."

Julian came over to Matt, stopped him with a hand on his arm, and then cupped his face. "Trust me," he said before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "I've got it covered."

"I do trust you, but we've got…maybe three hours to get all these appliances in and installed and—"

"Stop worrying," Julian said and placed another gentle kiss.

"And the ceiling fan in the living room. Shit! I forgot about that and—"

Julian smiled and placed another gentle kiss on Matt's lips, hoping to quiet him again. "It's going to be fine, I've got a crew coming in," he said, finally releasing Matt's face.

"J," Matt began before being interrupted by the ringing doorbell.

Julian did a quick check through the peephole then looked over to Matt and smiled as he opened the door.

The look on Matt's face was priceless. Julian figured this was one of those Kodak moments or something people talked about. So many emotions raced across Matt's face Julian was afraid to blink and miss any of them.