A Betrayal in Winter (lpq-2) (22 page)

a casual pose of welcome to Baarath. He dropped into a chair across from

Maati's own. The librarian was trapped for a moment between the careful

formality he had with Maati and the easy companionship he appeared to

enjoy with Cehmai. He hesitated for a moment, then, frowning, retreated.

"I'm sorry about him," Cehmai said. "He's an ass sometimes, but he is

good at heart."

"If you say so. And what brings you? I thought there was another

celebration of the Khai's daughter making a match."

"A messenger's come from the Dai-kvo," Cehmai said, lowering his voice

so that Baarath, no doubt just behind the corner and listening, might

not make out the words. "He says it's important."

Maati sat up, his belly twingeing a bit. His messages couldn't have

reached the Dai-kvo's village and returned so soon. This had to be

something that had been sent before word of his injury had gone out,

which meant the Dai-kvo had found something, or wished something done,

or ... He noticed Cehmai's expression and paused.

"Is the seal not right?"

"There is no seal," Cehmai said. "There is no letter. The messenger says

he was instructed to only speak the message to you, in private. It was

too important, he said, to be written."

"That seems unlikely," Maati said.

"Doesn't it?"

"Where is he now?"

"They brought him to the poet's house when they heard who had sent him.

I've had him put in a courtyard in the Fourth Palace. A walled one, with

armsmen to keep him there. If this is a fresh assassin ..

"Then he'll answer more questions than the last one can," Maati said.

""Take me there."

As they left, Maati saw Baarath swoop down on the hooks and scrolls like

a mother reunited with her babe. Maati knew that they would all he

hidden in obscure drawers and shelves by the time he came hack. Some, he

would likely never see again.

The sun was moving toward the mountain peaks in the west, early evening

descending on the valley. They walked together down the white gravel

path that led to the Fourth Palace, looking, Maati was sure, like

nothing so much as a teacher and his student in their matching brown

poet's robes. Except that Cehmai was the man who held the andat, and

Maati was only a scholar. They didn't speak, but Maati felt a knot of

excitement and apprehension tightening in him.

At the palace's great hall, a servant met them with a pose of formal

welcome that couldn't hide the brightness in her eyes. At a gesture, she

led them down a wide corridor and then up a flight of stairs to a

gallery that looked down into the courtyard. Maati forced himself to

breathe deeply as he stepped to the edge and looked down, Cehmai at his

side.

The space was modest, but lush. Thin vines rose along one wall and part

of another. Two small, sculpted maple trees stood, one at either end of

a long, low stone bench. It looked like a painting-the perfectly

balanced garden, with the laborer in his ill-cut robes the only thing

out of place. A breeze stirred the branches of the trees with a sound

equal parts flowing water and dry pages turning. Maati stepped hack. His

throat was tight, but his head felt perfectly clear. So this was how it

would happen. Very well.

Cehmai was frowning down warily at Otah-kvo. Maati put his hand on the

young man's shoulder.

"I have to speak with him," Maati said. "Alone."

"You don't think he's a threat?"

"It doesn't matter. I still need to speak with him."

"Maati-kvo, please take one of the armsmen. Even if you keep him at the

far end of the yard, you can ..."

Maati took a pose that refused this, and saw something shift in the

young man's eyes. Respect, Maati thought. He thinks I'm being brave. How

odd that I was that young once.

"Take me there," Maati said.

OTAH SAT IN THE GARDEN, HIS BACK AND NECK TIGHT FROM RIDING AND from

fear, and remembered being young in the summer cities. In one of the low

towns outside Saraykeht, there had been a rock at the edge of a cliff

that jutted out over the water so that, when the tide was just right, a

boy of thirteen summers might step out to its edge and peer past his

toes at the ocean below him and feel like a bird. There had been a hand

of them-the homeless young scraping by on pity and small laborwho had

dared each other to dive from that cliff. The first time he had made the

leap himself, he had been sure the moment his feet left the rough, hot

stone that he would die. That pause, divorced from earth and water,

willing himself hack up, trying to force himself to fly and take hack

that one irrevocable moment, had felt very much like sitting quiet and

alone in this garden. The trees shifted like slow dancers, the flowers

trembled, the stone glowed where the sun struck it and faded to gray

where it did not. He rubbed his fingers against the gritty bench to

remind himself where he was, and to keep the panic in his breast from

possessing him.

He heard the door slide open with a whisper, and then shut again. He

rose, forcing his body to move deliberately and took a pose of greeting

even before he looked up. Maati Vaupathai. 'l'ime had thickened him, and

there was a sorrow in the lines of his face that hadn't been there even

in the weary days when he had stood between his master Heshaikvo and the

death that had eventually come. Otah wondered whether that change had

sprung from Heshai's murder, and whether Maati had ever guessed that

Otah had been the one who drew the cord across the old poet's throat.

Maati took a pose of welcome appropriate for a student to a teacher.

"It wasn't me," Otah said. "My brother. You. I had nothing to do with

any of it."

"I had guessed that." Maati said. He did not come nearer.

"Are you going to call the armsmen? There must be half a dozen out

there. Your student could have been more subtle in calling them."

"'There's more than that, and he isn't my student. I don't have any

students. I don't have anything." A strange smile twitched at the corner

of his mouth. "I have been something of a disappointment to the Daikvo.

Why are you here?"

"Because I need help," Otah said, "and I hoped we might not be enemies.

Maati seemed to weigh the words. He walked to the bench, sat, and leaned

forward on clasped hands. Otah sat beside him, and they were silent. A

sparrow landed on the ground before them, cocked its head, and fluttered

madly away again.

"I came back because it was controlling me," Otah said. "This place.

These people. I've spent a lifetime leaving them, and they keep coming

back and destroying everything I build. I wanted to see it. I wanted to

look at the city and my brothers and my father."

He looked at his hands.

"I don't know what I wanted," Otah said.

"Yes," Maati said, and then, awkwardly, "It was foolish, though. And

there will be consequences."

"There have been already."

"There'll be more."

Again, the silence loomed. There was too much to say, and no order for

it. Otah frowned hard, opened his mouth to speak, and closed it again.

"I have a son," Maati said. "Liat and I have a son. His name's Nayiit.

He's probably just old enough now that he's started to notice that girls

aren't always repulsive. I haven't seen them in years."

"I didn't know," Otah said.

"How would you? The Dal-kvo said that I was a fool to keep a family. I

am a poet, and my duty is to the world. And when I wouldn't renounce

them, I fell from favor. I was given duties that might as well have been

done by an educated slave. And you know, there was an odd kind of pride

about it for a while. I was given clothing, shelter, food for myself.

Only for myself. I thought of leaving. Of folding my robes on the bed

and running away as you did. I thought of you, the way you had chosen

your own shape for your life instead of the shapes that were offered

you. I thought I was doing the same. Gods, Otah-kvo, I wish you had been

here. All these years, I wish I had been able to talk to you. To someone.

"I'm sorry...."

Maati raised a hand to stop him.

"My son," Maati said, then his voice thickened, and he coughed and began

again. "Liat and I parted ways. My low status among the poets didn't

have the air of romance for her that I saw in it. And ... there were

other things. Raising my son called for money and time and I had little

to spare of either. My son is thirteen summers. Thirteen. She was

carrying him before we left Saraykeht."

Otah felt the words as if he'd been struck an unexpected blow-a

sensation of shock without source or location, and then the flood. Maati

glanced over at him and read his thoughts from his face, and he nodded.

"I know," Maati said. "She told me about bedding you that one time after

you came back, before you left again. Before Heshai-kvo died and

Seedless vanished. I suppose she was afraid that if I discovered it

someday and she hadn't said anything it would make things worse. She

told me the truth. And she swore that my son was mine. And I believe her."

"Do you?"

"Of course not. I mean, some days I did. When he was young and I could

hold him in one arm, I was sure that he was mine. And then some nights I

would wonder. And even in those times when I was sure that he was yours,

I still loved him. That was the worst of it. The nights I lay awake in a

village where women and children aren't allowed, in a tiny cell that

stank of the disapproval of everyone I had ever hoped to please. I knew

that I loved him, and that he wasn't mine. No, don't. Let me finish. I

couldn't be a father to him. And if I hadn't fathered him either, what

was there left but watching from a distance while this little creature

grew up and away from me without even knowing my heart was tucked in his

sleeve."

Maati wiped at his eyes with the back of one hand.

"Liat said she was tired of my always mourning, that the boy deserved

some joy; that she did too. So after that I didn't have them, and I

didn't have the respect of the people I saw and worked beside. I was

eaten by guilt over losing them, and having taken her from you. I

thought that she would have been happy with you. That you would have

been happy with her. If only I hadn't broken faith with you, the world

might have been right after all. And you might have stayed.

"And that has been my life until the day they called on me to hunt you.

"I see," Otah said.

"I have missed your company so badly, Otah-kya, and I have never hated

anyone more. I have been waiting for years to say that. So. Now I have,

what was it you wanted from me?"

Otah caught his breath.

"I wanted your help," he said. "There's a woman. She was my lover once.

When I told her ... when I told her about my family, my past, she turned

me out. She was afraid that knowing me would put her and the people she

was responsible for in danger."

"She's wise, then," Maati said.

"I hoped you would help me protect her," Otah said. His heart was a lump

of cold lead. "Perhaps that was optimistic."

Maati laughed. The sound was hollow.

"And how would I do that?" Maati asked. "Kill your brothers for you?

Tell the Khai that the Dai-kvo had decreed that she was not to be

harmed? I don't have that power. I don't have any power at all. This was

my chance at redemption. They called upon me to hunt you because I knew

your face, and I failed at that until you walked into the palaces and

asked to speak with me."

"Go to my father with me. I refused the brand, but I won't now. I'll

renounce my claim to the chair in front of anyone he wants, only don't

let him kill me before I do it."

Maati looked across at him. The sparrow returned for a moment to perch

between them.

"It won't work," he said. "Renunciation isn't a simple thing, and once

you've stepped outside of form, stepping back in ..."

"But ..."

"They won't believe you. And even if they did, they'd still fear you

enough to see you dead."

Otah took a deep breath, and then slowly let it out, letting his head

sink into his hands. The air itself seemed to have grown heavier,

thicker. It had been a mad hope, and even in its failure, at least Kiyan

would be safe. It was past time, perhaps, that people stopped paying

prices for knowing him.

He could feel himself shaking. When he sat, his hands were perfectly

still, though he could still feel the trembling in them.

"So what are you going to do?" Otah asked.

"In a moment, I'm going to call in the armsmen that are waiting outside

that door," Maati said, his voice deceptively calm. He was trembling as

well. "I am going to bring you before the Khai, who will at some point

decide either that you are a murderer who has killed his son Biitrah and

put you to the sword, or else a legitimate child of Machi who should be

set loose for one of your older brothers to kill. I will speak on your

behalf, and any evidence I can find that suggests Biitrah's murder

wasn't your work, I will present."

"Well, thank you for that, at least."

"Don't," Maati said. "I'm doing it because it's true. If I thought you'd

arranged it, I'd have said that."

"Loyalty to the truth isn't something to throw out either."

Maati took a pose that accepted the gratitude, and then dropped his

hands to his sides.

"There's something you should know," Otah said. "It might ... it seems

to be your business. When I was in the islands, after Saraykeht, there

was a woman. Not Maj. Another woman. I shared a bed with her for two,

almost three years."

"Otah-kvo, I admire your conquests, but . .

"She wanted a child. From me. But it never took. Almost three years, and

she bled with the moon the whole time. I heard that after I left, she

took up with a fisherman from it tribe to the north and had a baby girl."

"I see," Maati said, and there was something in his voice. A brightness.

"Thank you, Otah-kvo."

"I missed you as well. I wish we had had more time. Or other circumstances."

"As do I. But it isn't ours to choose. Shall we do this thing?"

"I don't suppose I could shave first?" Otah asked, touching his chin.

"I don't see how," Maati said, rising. "But perhaps we can get you some

better robes."

Otah didn't mean to laugh; it simply came out of him. And then Maati was

laughing as well, and the birds startled around them, lifting up into

the sky. Otah rose and took a pose of respect appropriate to the closing

of a meeting. Maati responded in kind, and they walked together to the

door. Maati slid it open, and Otah looked to see whether there was a gap