A Beautiful Struggle (18 page)

“So I guess it’s true - you don’t need me
anymore,” I ventured.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Beth told me that you don’t need me
anymore,” I told him, tears brimming in my eyes.

David’s face scrunched up as he responded,
“That’s bullshit Katrina! Why would she even say that?!"

“I don’t know David – why did she say she
slept with Elliot?”

“Probably because he’s fucking around with
every girl in the office and whole bloody lot of you are stupid enough to think
you’re the only one!” he bit out in retort.

I stood there open mouthed looking at my
best friend, my only real friend and all I could see was anger and what looked
like hatred in his face. A face that had shown me nothing but kindness before
now, it broke my heart to see him look at me this way.

My voice was small and quiet when I spoke,
“I can’t do this anymore. Why are you trying to hurt me?” I glared at him,
pained and confused. “I just want my friend back, David. I miss you – I miss
us; this… this fighting – it isn’t how we treat each other… I just want things
to go back to the way they were.”

He ran his hands through his hair and blew
out a breath that was charged with his emotions, “I can’t do this anymore
either. I can’t watch you get hurt again, Katrina. I’m sorry,” he finished and
started walking away from me once more.

I wanted to call after him to tell him I
wouldn’t get hurt again, that he didn’t need to worry. I wanted to beg him to
stay with me and tell him that I needed him, that I didn’t know who I was
without him. Instead, I just stood there watching as my friend walked away from
me while silent tears rolled down my face.

Standing in front of Elliot, stretching as
he ran on the treadmill at lunch time that Friday, I blurted out, “I fucked up
my exam on Wednesday.”

He raised his eyebrows, “What makes you
think that?”

“I left before I was finished,” I told him
flatly.

He looked surprised, “Why would you do
that?”

“I needed to talk to David,” I watched for
his expression to change; it just looked curious, not at all jealous like I was
expecting.

“You couldn’t wait to talk to him until
after your exam?”

“In hindsight of course I could have
waited, but at the time I wasn’t really thinking.”

“So… what was so important?”

“He’s not speaking to me right now; It’s
killing me because we haven’t gone more than a day or two without talking since
we were kids.”

“And did you find out why he isn’t speaking
to you?”

“He thinks that after what happened with
Christopher, I shouldn’t be dating secretly.”

“Does he think I’m like Christopher?” he
looked concerned as he started to slow the machine down so he could hop off.

“No, I don’t think so, he was kind of all
over the place when we were arguing. He said that he was tired of the guys I
date being jealous of him, and that he was tired of watching me get hurt. And
he told me something that Beth told him… about you.”

He raised his eyebrows in question, “What
did she tell him?” Finished on the treadmill, he moved in front of me, hands on
his hips as he listened.

I looked out of the window, not really
wanting to meet his eyes, afraid that it might be true, “That you slept with
her too – in secret; just like you are doing with me.”

When I looked at him his eyes were wide in
astonishment, “And you believe that?”

“No… well, not at first. I guess it doesn’t
really matter, but… I do feel like I need to know.”

He looked me in the eye as he spoke, “I
have never slept with her Katrina. I thought I’d made that clear. I have at no
time been interested in her,” he told me sincerely, “and just for the record,
Katrina, I’m not jealous of David, and I am not planning on hurting you. Ok?”

I nodded, “I’m sorry I just had to ask.”

“It’s fine, I’ll deal with Beth. Maybe just
give David a little time to get used to us,” he suggested.

He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, my
body reacting instantly to his touch, screaming to have more of him. “I’ve
missed you this week,” I told him honestly.

He gave me one of his brilliant smiles and
I swooned. “Me too,” he whispered.

***

I was first to arrive outside the parking
garage were Elliot parked his car. Standing by the entrance, holding my gym bag
that also held some clean clothes for tomorrow, I waited almost five minutes
before I saw him coming down the street towards me.

Looking at him and seeing him smile at the sight
of me made all the worries I had been having over the past week disappear, I
was once again getting trapped in the cocoon of having him all to myself. He
swept me up in his arms and spun me around laughing, before he put me down and
kissed me tenderly with his hands cupped either side of my face.

I kept my eyes closed and breathed,
“Finally.”

He chuckled softly, “Do you know how hard
it is for me not to touch you or kiss you whenever I see you around the office?
I have been in agony.” He kissed me again and we both moaned into each other’s
mouths, softly tasting each other, getting lost in each other, numbing the
sound of the city street beside us.

He broke the kiss and grabbed my hand,
interlacing our fingers, “Come on.”

I spotted his car up ahead, a navy blue
SAAB sedan. Reading the badges on the back as we approached, I noted a ‘95’ on
one side and ‘turbo 4’ on the other – I had no idea what that meant but judging
from the dark grey leather interior and how smooth the ride home was last week;
I knew it had to be expensive.

“I didn’t actually pay attention to your
car last week. It’s nice.” I told him as we got in.

“Thanks, but my dad owns it – there’s no
way I could buy this on my salary,” he disclosed.

“Your Dad bought it for you?”

“No, he owns it. He bought it for me to
use, but I don’t own anything – his way of keeping me in line I guess.”

“So let me get this straight – your dad
owns the flat you live in, buys you a car and pays your living expenses? To me,
that’s a pretty sweet deal.”

“I suppose, but everything comes at a
price. My price is that my father feels that he can control me.”

I was thoughtful for a moment, “So why do
you let him then? Pay for everything, I mean.”

He kept his eyes on the road as he spoke,
easily navigating the city streets, “I guess I like not having to worry about
money – there’s no way I could afford to live in Bondi on my own, and as long
as I work hard he’s happy to support me.”

He had the radio station tuned to Triple M.
The music ended and a comedy duo hosting were talking about playing rugby
naked.

We both listened, laughing at their antics
until the station started to run advertisements before the six o’clock news. “I
made a pot of bolognaise sauce for us for tonight, are you happy with spaghetti
for dinner?”

“I love spaghetti. You made a great
choice.”

“Well, it wasn’t much of a choice. I can do
steak, and I can do pasta. I’m not the greatest chef in the world.”

He glanced and me and we smiled at each
other, wanting to be together physically more than we wanted to make small talk
while driving.

“How about you, can you cook anything?” he
asked me.

“Sure, if it comes out of a box and goes
directly in the oven.”

He responded with an amused sound before he
reached for my hand and placed it on his lap, as he did the last time we drove
together. My fingers were itching to make their way further across his lap to
feel him as he drove.

I took a deep breath for courage. I wasn’t
normally a big initiator where sex was concerned, but I couldn’t seem to stop
myself. I slid my hand up his thigh, stopping as my hand brushed his bulge,
ever so lightly. I heard him suck in his breath softly, anticipating my touch
but keeping his eyes steady on the road.

Becoming bolder, I moved my hand further
until I felt his now hard shaft, straining through his pants, I curled my
fingers around it and moved my hand up and down the fabric, delighting as I
felt him get harder, hearing his breathing change to those charged careful
breaths that come with arousal.

He started to moan lightly, fighting to
keep his focus. I could feel my juices beginning to flow as I watched the way
his body reacted to me and imagined what it would be like to take him in my
mouth.

Suddenly, he clamped his hand down on mine.
“Wait! We’re almost there,” he told me as we turned into his street, and he
parked the car.

We practically ran up the stairs to get
inside his flat, needing desperately to be on our own. The moment he opened the
door, I threw my bag down and pushed him up against the wall, smiling wickedly.
Kissing him fervently, I slid my hand down his chest and further, until I was
cupping his erection.

He moaned as I stroked him, before he
forcefully pushed me back so I was the one pinned against the wall. With a
cocky half grin, he kissed me back, his arms either side of me, caging me
between the wall and his body. Anxiously, I pulled at his belt, undoing it
before sliding it loose and dropping on the floor next to us. Using deft
fingers, I undid his button and zip, hooking the waistband of both his pants
and underwear to drag them with me as I slid my body down the wall, freeing his
erection. I slid my hands up under his shirt to feel his smooth hard chest like
satin beneath my hands, and brought my tongue out to tease his tip, tasting the
saltiness of his arousal before sliding my hands back down to grasp him and
take him into the wetness of my mouth.

He shuddered as I swirled my tongue around
his nob, gently rubbing my teeth over his ridge. His shudder became a moan as I
took him as deeply into my mouth as I could, shafting him with my hand and
sucking with my mouth at the same time.

With his hands still against the wall he
moaned and whispered to me, becoming more urgent with his sounds. I took his
balls into my other hand and gently squeezed, sucking him firmly into my mouth.
As he moaned out my name, I felt his hot juices pour into my mouth. I sucked
and swallowed, milking him of every last drop.

Strong arms reached down and hauled me up
the wall, where he kissed me zealously. Wildly, he lifted my skirt and pulled
my panties down my legs, flicking them aside like wrapping paper from a gift,
before he ran his fingers in between my folds, groaning as he slid back and
forth.

“You are so wet,” he whispered into my open
mouth.

I gasped out, whimpering as he pushed his
fingers inside me rubbing against my inner wall and using his thumb to rub over
my clit. A glorious sensation filled my body as my orgasm rocked through me
suddenly. Calling out with intensity, I writhed against his hand, clamping my
legs together to still his movement when the sensation became too much.

“Relax,” he murmured.

Parting my thighs, I released his hand,
feeling him slide it down my leg to behind my knee where he lifted my leg,
guiding it around his waist. Our heights gave him the perfect access, and he
pushed his erection forward into me, pumping into me against the wall. I
continued to call out as I rode the still present waves of my orgasm, clenching
myself tightly around him.

“Oh my god – you’re like a vice,” he
shuddered, breathing carefully as he came deep inside me.

Heaving against each other we kissed, a
long slow, steady kiss. 

“A week without being with you is far too
long,” he gasped out.

We stayed connected as we tried to look for
something within reach to try to catch the mess that was about to fall out of
me. “Looks like we’re stuck like this,” I said intimately.

“I’ll catch it,” he offered softly, as he
pulled out and cupped his hand at my opening, collecting his come as it spilled
from inside me. Staring into my eyes, he started to swirl his thumb gently
around my clit, my mouth fell open as I started to lose focus, becoming drowned
in an all new arousal.

“That should do it,” he said as he gently
pulled away from me, leaving me wanting him even more.

I laughed as he awkwardly tried to shuck
his shoes and kick his pants aside so he could go to the bathroom and clean his
hand. Standing there, an amused half grin on my face, I watched him walk down
the hallway in just his work shirt and a pair of socks.

“I have to go home this morning,” I said
quietly, stroking the hair on Elliot’s head as he lay on my naked chest,
listening to my heartbeat after night filled with exploring each other’s bodies
and very little sleep.

He lifted his head to look at me, “Can’t
you stay tonight as well?” he asked earnestly.

“I can't. I have a session with my swimming
coach this afternoon, plus I have an exam to study for.”