A Beautiful Mess (41 page)

“Cameron. My name’s Cameron Bowen, but most people call me Cam.”

Olivia jumped, looking for the source of the voice. Surfer boy stood to the right of Olivia’s deck in his wetsuit, carrying a surfboard. She hadn’t noticed him walk up to her deck, desperate to finally make an introduction

Cam turned the corner and stood by the steps leading to Olivia’s deck, watching as she quickly raised herself off her lounge chair, turning to her front door and frantically trying to open it, sticky with the beachy humidity. “You see, usually, when someone gives you their name, they may want you to return the favor. At least where I’m from they do.”
 

Olivia listened to his accent, noticing a hint of a southern drawl. “And where is it you’re from, Cam?” she inquired, turning around and crossing her arms.

“All over really. But truth be told, born and raised in South Carolina.”

“Me too. But I haven’t lived there in well over a decade.”

“It’s a pity,” he smiled a small but infectious smile that made Olivia want to melt. “I bet you used to sound too cute for words with a little southern drawl.” He beamed, showing Olivia a perfect set of teeth. God, he was really handsome. This was bad. This was very, very bad. She was trying to get over Alexander. It still pained her to think about what she had done, leaving him. She couldn’t string someone else along, knowing full well she could never give that person her entire heart. She gave her heart to Alexander and he still held it, although he probably didn’t realize that.

Cam took a few steps closer, still on the sandy road by her deck. He was rather attractive and had a good body underneath his wetsuit. Olivia had noticed how handsome he was several weeks ago, but up close, he was even more so. His silver eyes beamed as he smiled, staring down at her. The ocean breeze gusted, blowing his wild sandy hair in front of his eyes. But she was off men. And no matter what, she couldn’t get Alexander out of her thoughts, as much as she tried.
 

“So, are you going to tell me your name, or do I have to try to guess it?”
 

Olivia blushed as he cautiously stepped up the stairs of her deck, making sure he wasn’t intruding.
 

She uncrossed her arms and took a few steps toward Cam, holding her hand out to him. “My name’s Olivia. People call me Libby, though.”

Taking Olivia’s hand in his own, Cam felt her soft skin. There was something so tragic about the woman standing in front of him. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but she just seemed so alone. He had been watching her everyday since mid-October when she appeared out of nowhere, renting old man Robinson’s beach cottage. He figured she would only be there for a week, but everyday, without fail, she sat outside, drinking her coffee and staring out at the ocean as if it held the answers to all her questions.

The first week, she barely smiled. As she drank her coffee, he noticed tears streaming down her face. Something made her sad. The waves were killer that week, a big storm brewing off the coast. The second week, the waves died down a bit and, after checking the surf report, he thought about blowing off surfing that morning. But something about the sad girl who sat on her deck and drank coffee made him put on his wetsuit and go. And everyday, even when the waves were more or less non-existent, he drove down to Ocean Avenue in the Fernandina Beach section of Amelia Island and smiled at the girl with the sad brown eyes.

“Libby. It’s wonderful to finally put a name to the face.”

Olivia took in the man she had grown accustomed to seeing every day. His silver eyes had a depth to them. And a kindness that she had never seen before. She felt as if she could spill her entire life on him and he wouldn’t judge her. His smile was infectious and before Olivia knew it, she smiled back. She couldn’t remember the last time she smiled. It felt good.

“Do you surf?” Cam asked.

“I’ve tried it a few times. I lived in Hawaii for a bit and I didn’t want to stick out as a haole, so I learned to surf.” She looked over the horizon at the dozen or so bodies bobbing up and down, waiting to ride a wave into shore.
 

“What’s a haole?” he asked.

“It’s a Hawaiian term for mainlanders.” She took a long sip of her coffee, wondering whether she should offer him a mug.

“Aah, I see.” He smiled a genuine smile at the quiet woman. “So want to catch a few waves?” he asked, gesturing toward the water.

“I don’t have a board. Or a wetsuit.”

“Come on. Just grab a bathing suit. The waves are pretty calm today so you’ll be fine without one.” Olivia hesitated, thinking about it. “Come on. I see you sitting here every morning, drinking your coffee, and you just look so sad. Please. Let me at least show you some fun.”
 

Olivia looked at him, shocked that in just those few seconds each morning, he noticed how sad she was.
 

“Okay,” she said after a few seconds of deep thought. “Give me ten minutes. I need to shower.”

“Great. I’ll go try to catch a wave or two. I’ll see you out there.” He ran toward the water, holding his board.

It was a relatively warm morning for mid-November, but Olivia knew the water would be freezing. She had been there several weeks and still hadn’t put a foot in the water. Even if she didn’t get on a surfboard, at least she would finally feel the salt water against her skin.

She took a quick shower, making sure to shave fairly well. Pulling her hair back, she threw on her two-piece swimsuit she used when training for triathlons. Before heading out her door, she grabbed a towel and walked between the sand dunes down to where the water met the shore.

Cam ran up to her when he saw her walking down the beach. “Hey. You made it.”

“You look surprised,” she mumbled dryly.

“Well, a little. I thought you would blow me off, maybe go for a run and then just sit in your house the rest of the day.”

His statement caught Olivia off-guard. “How do you seem to know so much about me?”

“You caught my eye. I have a thing for beautiful women,” he winked, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the water’s edge.
 

“Holy crap that’s freezing!” Olivia squealed when her foot hit the cold ocean, stopping dead in her tracks as Cam pulled away.

“Come on. Stop being a baby,” he shouted back. He was already up to his knees in the water.
 

Olivia took a deep breath and just ran into the water, knowing that once she was fully submerged, she would feel better.
 

“Here. Grab onto the other end of the board,” Cam said when Olivia finally caught up to him.
 

“Thanks.” They swam out to just beyond where the waves crested.

“Hey! Cam-Bam!” a guy on a surfboard yelled.

“Come here. I want you to meet the guys,” Cam said to Olivia. They swam over to a group of three guys.
 

“Hey! Who’s this?” one of them asked.

“Everyone, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Chris, Benny, and Jason.”
 

Olivia waved with little enthusiasm. “Hi.”

“Are you going to try surfing today?” Chris asked.

“Yeah. Might as well,” she shrugged. “I’ve surfed before, so I’m not totally useless.”

“Why don’t you catch the first one? I’ll hang back here on one of the guys’ boards,” Cam said as he swam over to Benny’s board and hung on to it. He grinned while he watched Olivia swim away with the board.

“She’s hot, man,” Jason said, nudging toward Cam in the water. “Is she the one you’ve been talking about?”

“Yeah. That’s her. I’m glad I worked up the nerve to finally talk to her.”
 

“You’re such a pussy,” Benny laughed.

“Suck it, man!” Cam joked back. “Whatever. There's just something kind of sad about her. I couldn’t help it.” He returned his eyes to Olivia as she climbed on the board, throwing her legs on either side, getting ready to catch a wave.
 

After a few minutes, she saw a wave coming in that was perfect for her to ride. She positioned her hands and quickly hoisted her legs onto the board, balancing the board perfectly as she rode into the shore.
 

She was thrilled. She hadn’t surfed in so long, she was sure she would never be able to catch the board properly. Along the coast, a few people were milling about, collecting shells. As the sandy beach got closer, she started to space out and thought she saw Alexander. She saw him everywhere. Her heart began to race and she panicked, losing her balance. The board slipped out from underneath her and she toppled off, hitting her head as she sank below the water.

“Shit,” Cam exclaimed when he saw Olivia sink underneath the surface. He swam quickly toward where she went under, desperately searching for her, worried that, in the few minutes it took him to get to her, she hadn’t resurfaced. He dove into the water, his eyes stinging from the salt. A few feet away, he saw her, her eyes closed, bubbles coming out of her mouth.

He reached her and grabbed her around the waist, kicking toward the surface. “Come on, Libby. Stay with me, here.” He pulled her toward the shore and laid her on her back. The rest of the guys finally joined him.
 

“I think she hit her head pretty hard.” He leaned his ear down over her nose and couldn't hear any breathing, but she still had a pulse. He started rescue breathing, desperate for her to cough up the water that appeared to be stuck in her lungs. After a few long breaths, Olivia gasped, coughing. Cam helped roll her onto her side, getting the water out of her mouth.

“You scared me there, sweetheart,” he said softly, gazing down at the woman laying on the ground.
 

Olivia looked around, trying to get her bearings. She went surfing. She tried to make a new friend and now she looked like an idiot. She tried to stand up, but her legs were weak, causing her to lose her balance. Cam caught her. “Hey. Take it easy. You bumped your head pretty good. Let’s get you back inside your house. You should probably go lay down.” Cam led Olivia up the beach to her house.
 

He walked through her living room and into the kitchen, searching the freezer for some ice. He assembled a make shift icepack and brought it to Olivia as she was laying down on the couch.

“Here,” he said, leaning down and placing the icepack on Olivia’s forehead. “You should probably keep this on your head. There’s a little bit of swelling.” He brushed a piece of hair out of Olivia’s eyes.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” He looked around the house, noticing how minimalist everything looked. As if she had just rolled into town with a suitcase. There was nothing personal aside from a guitar case leaning up against a whicker chair. He walked over and sat in the chair. “Do you play?” he asked, gesturing to the case.

Olivia took the ice off her forehead and sat up, facing Cam. “Yeah. A little, I guess. In a former life. I really haven’t played lately, though. Since I got here. The guitar’s just been sitting there, collecting dust.”
 

Cam looked into her eyes. She seemed so empty.
 

Out of the corner of his eye, a large orange long-haired cat walked down the stairs into the living room. The cat stalked, determined, toward Olivia, jumped up on her lap, and curled up in a ball. “This is Nepenthe,” Olivia said.
 

“Ahh,” Cam breathed. “The ancient elixir of depression.”
 

Olivia turned her head. “How did you know that? Not a lot of people know what nepenthe is.”

“I have a brain full of useless information.” Cam laughed. There was a long awkward silence. Cam was attracted to the woman sitting across from him, snuggling up with her cat. But she seemed so distant and uninterested in anything. He didn’t know much about her, but he wanted to learn more.
 

“Can I take you to dinner tonight? There’s this great place on the other side of the island right on the water.”

Olivia looked around. “I don’t know. I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
 

“Come on. It’ll be fun. I promise. Just as friends. No pressure. I just want to get to know you. Be your friend.”
 

Olivia had been avoiding all social situations for the past several weeks. Certain things set her off, triggering a panic attack. Looking out her large front windows into the ocean, she hoped for some guidance about what to do. She was getting to like her new home. And if she got involved with Cam, she would just leave him, too. That’s what she did. She ran. Always. That was all she knew.

“Hey, Libby. The answer isn’t there in the ocean.”

Olivia looked back at Cam, a smile still on his face, but also something else. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was almost like a look of compassion.
 

“I just want to get to know you. That’s all. I want to spend some time with you.”

“But, why?” Olivia asked, her brows furrowed.

“What? Why wouldn’t I?”

“I could give you a thousand reasons,” she mumbled under her breath.

“As friends. That’s all, Libby. Come to dinner with me. Let me be your friend.”

Olivia sighed, petting Nepenthe in her lap. “I don’t need any friends. I’m perfectly happy in my little oasis here on the beach.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t make me beg.”

Olivia’s heart stopped. Alexander’s husky voice flashed through her memory. “
I like it when you beg
.”

Her lip started to tremble as she jumped off the couch, walking toward the stairs and away from Cam, desperately trying not to fall apart in front of him. She had finally gotten through an entire week without breaking down and crying when she thought about Alexander. But that memory was too much. She couldn’t take it. Her heart was in pieces and she knew it was all her fault. But it still didn’t make it hurt any less.

Cam quickly caught up to her and grabbed her arm, noticing he had upset her somehow. He didn’t want to leave it on such a sour note.

“Libby, please. Whatever I said, I’m sorry.”
 

She turned to face him, tears running down her face.

“I just want to make you smile, please. Just come to dinner with me. I promise I’ll help you forget about whatever it is that has you so upset.”