A Baby Under the Tree (12 page)

She certainly hoped that wasn't the case.

There were other things to consider when it came to contemplating any kind of life together—love for one thing, and loyalty for another.

Sure, a healthy sexual relationship was important—and it wouldn't be a problem for them. But there was more to life than sex.

After slipping on her cotton gown, she went into the living area of Shane's small apartment and waited for him to bring dinner upstairs. While she had the chance, she picked up her cell phone and dialed her grand mother's number.

“Hi, Gram. I just called to say hello.”

“I'm so glad you did.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Jillian asked, concerned at the hoarse sound of Gram's familiar voice. “It sounds as though you might be coming down with a cold.”

“I have a scratchy throat and a bit of a cough, but it's nothing I can't deal with. How are things going? Are you okay? You really don't know that man very well.”

“He's a nice guy, Gram. You have nothing to worry about.”

There was no need to tell her about the visit to the E.R. today, especially since it had proved to be no big deal.

“Is he treating you well?”

“Shane's been a perfect gentleman.” In fact, he'd been…wonderful.

“He hasn't tried to take advantage of you, has he?”

On the contrary. “He's been very sweet and respectful.” In fact, he'd been everything Jillian could have hoped for.

“I'm glad to hear that,” Gram said. “Since the two of you will be having a child together, it's important that you be friends.”

That was true. And little did Gram know, Jillian would be sleeping with that “friend” in an hour or so.

Of course, the doctor had said to take it easy, so there was no chance that they'd end up having sex tonight. But would they eventually become lovers again while she was staying with him?

Just the thought sent a delicious shiver that pooled low and warm in the depths of her.

It was still too soon to tell if they would pick up where they'd left off, she supposed—even though it would be incredibly easy to succumb to temptation.

Maybe she should make an extra effort to stay strong. Their relationship as friends and coparents was going to be difficult enough, especially with them living two hours away from each other. Trying to be sometimes lovers, too…?

That might be too much to handle.

Would Shane consider moving back to Houston? If so, could something permanent work out between them?

“When will you be coming home?” Gram asked,
her graveled voice reminding Jillian that she might be sicker than she'd let on.

“I'd planned to stay two weeks, which is right before my next appointment with Dr. Allan.” Jillian had been looking forward to that appointment, since she wanted to make sure the baby was healthy, that her pregnancy was going well. But she'd just had confirmation from Dr. Ramirez that the baby—her
daughter
—was growing as expected, that all seemed to be fine.

For a moment, she wanted to share the news with Gram. But that would mean she'd have to admit to having that pain earlier today, and Jillian didn't want to worry her any more than necessary.

“I assume you asked Dr. Allan for permission to travel,” Gram said.

“Yes, he was fine with it.”

Dr. Allan was one of many doctors in a large and prestigious obstetrical group in Houston, although Jillian sometimes got the feeling that his practice was too big, that he was too busy and rushed her appointments.

Dr. Ramirez, on the other hand, had been both thorough and reassuring. Maybe it was because she was a woman herself and was more nurturing by nature. It was hard to say.

Gram coughed into the phone, then apologized.

“I don't like the sound of that cough,” Jillian said. “Have you called the doctor?”

“Not yet.”

As heavy, booted footsteps thumped on the stairway outside, Jillian realized Shane had returned with dinner.

“Listen, Gram. I have to go. But promise me you'll
see the doctor if you're not feeling better in the morning. And that you'll call me, either way.”

“I will, honey. Don't worry about me.”

It was hard not to. Gram had not only raised Jillian, but she was the only family she had left.

After the line disconnected, she set her cell phone on the lamp table, then met Shane at the door. As he scanned the length of her, his gaze zeroed in on her breasts.

Oops. The thin cotton fabric of her white cotton gown was probably a little more see-through than she'd realized.

As his gaze lifted and met hers, a shot of awareness rushed through her. For a moment, she was tempted to let her hormones take the lead, but it was the maternal hormones that kicked into play and insisted she heed them.

What if having sex caused that pain to return? What if Dr. Ramirez was wrong about it being something minor?

So in spite of wishing things were different, she tried to put a platonic spin on things.

“So what did the sheriff eat tonight?” she asked.

“Pot roast with all the fixings and apple pie.”

As Shane set out the food on the table, he asked, “How do you feel about going for a little drive tomorrow?”

“Where?”

“I thought I'd take you to Wexler. There's a store that sells baby stuff. And since we know the baby's going
to be a girl, I thought it might be fun to check things out.”

Jillian hadn't planned to purchase anything until she got back to Houston, since it wouldn't do her any good to buy things in Brighton Valley and haul them home—or have them shipped. But it might be nice to see what was available and to get some decorating ideas.

“Sure, that sounds like fun.” As she started for the table, where he'd set out their meal, he looked up, his gaze again sketching over her.

With the light behind her, she suspected that he was taking in every curve of her body, from her breasts, to her hips, to her belly. And while she really ought to be a little concerned by the raw hunger in his eyes, she felt a sense of feminine power, too.

Of course, as heady as that was and as tempted as she was to make love to him again and experience all the passion she'd felt in his arms, that wasn't going to do her any good this evening, when she was determined to follow the doctor's orders about taking it easy.

Of course, Dr. Ramirez hadn't said anything about being careful tomorrow morning.

And by the way her body seemed to gravitate toward his while they slept, she had a feeling that it was only a matter of time when they'd wake to find temptation too strong to ignore.

A
lthough Shane's bed was plenty big enough for two, Jillian woke up the next morning on his side of the king-size mattress, her left arm draped over his shoulder, her leg entwined with his.

Yesterday, when they'd shut off the TV and turned in for the night, she'd purposely faced the wall. But for some reason, by the time morning rolled around, their bodies had seemed to find each other.

At least, her body had sought out his.

She probably ought to move before he opened his eyes and realized that she'd somehow crept from her side to his, but it felt so natural to lie with him, so good to snuggle up against him.

It seemed as though they hadn't slept together in ages, even though it had only been the night before.
And she tried to figure out why it felt as though such a long time had passed.

The connection they seemed to share? The healing she'd found in his embrace?

Meeting Shane last March had been the first step in getting over the effects of her divorce and restoring her confidence as a woman, something Thomas's infidelity had sent reeling. And now that she and Shane had come together again, now that they were developing a…

What? A friendship?

As she lay stretched along the length of him, her body pressed against his and taking comfort in his warmth, his strength, his presence, it seemed as though there was more than friendship going on here, although she was reluctant to admit just what it was.

The scare she'd had yesterday, even though it had proved to be unfounded, and the trip to the E.R. had bonded them in an unexpected way. And the sonogram that had revealed their baby growing in the womb, their
daughter,
had locked them into their roles as parents.

Was there even more going on than that?

As Shane began to stir, Jillian wanted nothing more than to caress his cheek, to trail her fingers along the morning stubble on his jaw that gave him a roughened edge. To watch his eyes open and know that his very first vision upon waking would be her. But that was a little too risky at this point, a little too…
married.

Still, whatever it was that she was feeling for him, including the physical attraction that she'd never been able to shake, was too tender and new to analyze. But one thing was clear. She didn't want to risk falling heart
over head for him yet, even though she had to admit that the possibility of that happening was growing by leaps and bounds.

It was too soon for her to forget that he'd assaulted a suspect he'd taken into custody.

Of course, he'd been nothing but sweet and kind and gentle to her since she'd arrived in Brighton Valley. But that didn't mean he didn't have a temper, that it wasn't lurking somewhere, under the surface and ready to snap.

His breathing changed, and he moved, reaching for her hand. Then he brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm, sending a tremor of heat to her feminine core.

Had a move so simple, so sweet, been such a turn-on before?

“Good morning,” he said, his voice still laden with sleep. “How are you feeling?”

Hot. Aroused. And maybe even willing to see where this morning takes us.

Before she could deal with the temptation, the urge to throw caution to the wind and come up with a response, he asked, “No more of those pains?”

Now she could answer in all honesty. “None whatsoever.”

“That's good to hear.” He turned slightly, so that his back was on the mattress, and he turned his head to allow his eyes to meet hers.

She appreciated his concern for her, for the baby. Bracing herself up on an elbow, she rose up and offered him a good-morning smile. “How'd you sleep?”

“Great.” When he lobbed her a crooked grin, she no longer seemed to care whether he had a temper or a short fuse.

Instead, she was tempted to skim her fingers along his chest. To brush her thumbs across his nipples, knowing—
remembering
—how he reacted to that particular stimulation. But before she could lift her hand and place it on his chest, he rolled to the side and climbed out of bed, leaving her in a pool of disappointment.

“Do you want to use the bathroom first?” he asked.

No, she wanted to stay in bed, to experiment with the thoughts and feelings that had been playing on her mind since waking this morning. And while she'd assumed he'd sense where her thoughts were heading, it was clear that he wasn't a mind reader.

For that, she supposed she should be grateful, since her head was urging one thing and her body another.

“No,” she told him, “I can wait. Go ahead.”

Maybe he planned to come back to bed as soon as he was done, and when he did—that is,
if
he did—she'd…

Well, she wasn't exactly sure what she'd do. But she doubted that he'd put up an argument over anything she might suggest.

He yawned and stretched, flexing muscles in his chest and forearms she'd discovered in Houston and had nearly forgotten about.

“What time do you want to go into Wexler?” he asked.

Seriously? He was ready to start the day and wasn't planning to return to bed?

Again, she tried to tell herself that she should be grateful, that it was too soon for the ideas she'd been having. Yet the strangest sense of disappointment settled over her.

“I don't care,” she said. “It's up to you.”

“Then let's shower, have a quick breakfast and get out of here. I'm actually looking forward to seeing the kind of stuff they have at that store for baby girls.”

To be honest, so was Jillian. But she couldn't help thinking that he seemed to be more excited about the baby than he was in having Jillian in his bed.

And for a moment, she felt both abandoned and rejected.

As Shane headed for the bathroom, leaving her to deal with the confusing emotions, she tried to shake them off, telling herself that she should be happy that he was looking forward to their child's birth. That her pregnancy hadn't made him uneasy about what the future might bring.

But now Jillian had something else to worry about, something about Shane's past that gave her pause.

If he saw the baby as some kind of replacement for the one he'd lost, then maybe Jillian was merely a means to the end for him…?.

 

As Shane drove Jillian into Wexler to check out The Baby Corral, a store that sold furniture, clothing and other items new parents might need, he couldn't help noting how quiet she'd been this morning—unusually so.

It might have been only his imagination, he sup
posed. But something seemed to have her in deep thought, and not knowing what was bothering her left him a little unbalanced, since there was so much riding on her plans for the future.

As his marriage to Marcia had begun to unravel, the two of them had grown more and more introspective, so to see Jillian doing the same thing was a little disconcerting.

Earlier, when he'd woken up wrapped in her arms, he'd been tempted to kiss her, to run his hands along her hips, to venture into a little morning foreplay. And while he'd noted a spark of passion in her eyes, in her smile, he'd decided only an insensitive jerk would suggest a romp in bed when the doctor had told her to take it easy the day before.

So he'd headed for the shower before she could see how primed and ready he was for sex.

When he went to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and whip up some scrambled eggs, she'd gone into the bathroom. It seemed as though she'd stayed in there for hours, and when she came out, as pretty as any woman he'd ever seen, her makeup just right and every hair in place, he'd tried to coax a smile out of her.

But all she'd been able to muster was a makeshift grin, which hadn't been what he'd expected, what he'd wanted. And that's when he'd realized something was off.

So even now, as they entered Wexler city limits and he turned down the main drag, she still hadn't opened up.

“Are you sure you're feeling okay?” he asked, hoping
that a shopping trip wasn't going to be too taxing and wishing he hadn't suggested it.

“I'm fine.” She'd offered him another smile which didn't quite reach her eyes.

Shane couldn't see pursuing it any further, so he focused on the road until they reached the store.

After he parked in front, they headed to the door. Once inside the trendy baby shop, she seemed to brighten at the variety offered.

“Let's check out the cribs and dressers,” he said, as he led her to the back of the store.

“All right.”

They took time to check out the various furniture styles, as well as the colorful comforters and matching mobiles that would entertain the baby while she was small. Jillian seemed to favor one with teddy bears, each one sporting a different-colored bow tie.

“Do you see anything you like?” he asked, thinking he'd buy it for her—although maybe not today.

“This one is nice.” She touched one of the spindles of a light oak crib.

As they continued through the store and they passed a display of bottles and nipples, he asked, “Do you plan to nurse?”

“Yes, I'd like to.” She turned to him and offered a shy smile, which made him decide the quiet spell might be over. “I know that December seems like a long time off, but it's getting closer every day, especially after seeing the baby on that sonogram screen yesterday.”

“I know what you mean.” The baby had sure become real to him over the past twenty-four hours. And her
due date would be here before they knew it. In fact, for the first time since Joey died, he found himself looking forward to Christmas and all that it brought…stockings on the mantel, presents under the tree. A new baby…

As they continued down one aisle and up another, he decided to throw out an idea he'd been tossing around, just to see what she would say.

“Would you consider sticking around in Brighton Valley a little longer? After all, you mentioned that you might postpone your student teaching until next term. And you said that you liked Dr. Ramirez. If there was a problem, you'd be in good hands.”

As she turned to him, a swath of confusion crossed her face. “You want me to extend my visit?”

“Why not?” He certainly found the idea appealing. “I've been thinking about getting a bigger place anyway, so if the quarters are too tight for you, that won't be an issue for long.”

“I…” She tilted her head slightly, as though the movement might help her wrap her mind around his suggestion. “But my doctor is in Houston.”

“You said you weren't all that impressed with him.”

“Actually, Dr. Allan has a great reputation and a degree from one of the top medical schools in the country. It's just that he's so busy, I sometimes feel as though my appointments are cut short.” She continued down the aisle, just as pensive as ever, then she stopped and faced him. “I really like Dr. Ramirez and wouldn't mind having her deliver the baby. But it's really not feasible for me to stay in Brighton Valley.”

“Why not?”

“Because my life is in Houston, Shane.”

He'd figured as much, and even though he'd expected that to be her answer, it still left an ache in his chest, a twist in his gut.

As they reached a display of rocking chairs, she stopped by one in particular and took a seat. Then, as she set the chair in motion, she looked up at him and smiled—one that lit her eyes this time. “I really like this one.”

“Good. Let's get it.”

“Today?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Because I've been trying to conserve my money. And while I plan to buy some things new, I figured I could pick up some furniture, like a rocker, at a consignment store in Houston.”

“I was offering to buy
that
rocker—as a gift.”

“You don't need to do that.”

“I want to.”

She didn't object any more, yet she continued to sit, to sway back and forth. Then she caught his gaze again. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Do you miss working as a cop? Do you think you'll ever go back?”

“I miss parts of it,” he admitted. “I was good at what I did. But in the last year or so, I've found small-town life to be a lot more appealing than living in the city.”

“You don't miss the excitement?”

“Sure, sometimes.” There was an adrenaline rush that came with pursuing and arresting a suspect, of
knowing that he'd gotten a dangerous perp off the streets. But Shane wasn't sure if Jillian would understand the complexities of his job, of missing it, yet not wanting to go back.

Marcia certainly wouldn't have.

“I was ready for a change in my life,” he said. “And working on Dan's ranch and living in Brighton Valley suits me right now.”

He couldn't really explain why that was the case when a part of him did miss the excitement, the thrill and the knowledge that he'd made the streets a little safer. But here in Brighton Valley, he seemed to have shaken the bad memories, the reminders of why his marriage had fallen apart and how he'd come to lose Joey.

Out here, where the Texas sky seemed bluer, the air cleaner, the sun brighter and warmer, he'd found a sense of peace that he doubted he'd ever be able to find in the city. So going back to Houston wasn't in his immediate plans—if ever.

He'd hoped that Jillian would find something comforting about small-town life, too. But that didn't appear to be happening. And if it didn't, it was going to make it a real challenge—if not completely impossible—to work out a way to coparent and share custody of their daughter.

He supposed he'd have to at least consider moving back to Houston, but that meant he'd be forced to make a life choice that didn't appeal to him, all because a woman he cared about wasn't willing to find a com
promise they could both deal with—like splitting the distance and making a commute work.