A Baby in the Bunkhouse (6 page)

“Javelina. They like to travel in bands. Cheer up.” He tried, unsuccessfully, to pry her arms from around his neck, then abruptly gave up and let the weight of his chest press against hers, reassuring in a way words could not.

“There could have been as many as forty-five in that group.”

He looked behind him.

Jacey was relieved they were long gone.

“There were only about ten.”

“At thirty pounds each!” And horribly ugly, with grizzled brown-and-black fur, big fat bodies, sharp-looking hooves and skinny ratlike tails. Jacey shuddered just thinking about it. “I don't get why you weren't scared of them.” Even now, she couldn't seem to stop shaking or unravel her legs from his waist and her arms from around his neck.

“'Cause they usually don't bother humans, unless humans annoy them first. Then they might charge you and cut and slash you with their teeth. But if you leave 'em alone, then they'll leave you alone.”

“So I was in no danger,” Jacey concluded in relief.

He cocked his head and gave her a thorough once-over. “Not unless you'd kept screaming.”

Abruptly, Jacey realized three things. There was really no reason for him to be holding her like this any longer, if there had ever been. Heat was definitely generating where their bodies connected. And she wanted to kiss him again, way too much for her own good.

“I think you can let me go now,” she said quietly, deciding she had made a fool of herself long enough.

His irises darkened seductively. “Or maybe not.”

“What?”

He tunneled his hands through her hair. Mischief colored his low tone. “I think I like you just the way you are.”

“Indebted to you once again?” She tried to joke her way out of this.

“Grateful,” he corrected, mouth lowering to hers, “would be nice…”

Jacey had time to draw one quick breath and then his lips were on hers. She'd thought the first embrace they had shared had been something. It was nothing compared to this. Her heart soared as he angled her head and deepened the kiss, tormenting her with lazy sweeps of his tongue. The next thing she knew, she was kissing him back with an answering passion. Driven by feelings she did not care to identify, she forgot all the reasons why they shouldn't be doing this and allowed herself to sink headlong into the warm seductiveness of his embrace.

Rafferty knew he shouldn't be kissing her like there was no tomorrow, but it had been a hell of a day. Not because he'd felt the grief and guilt he usually felt at holidays since his wife and unborn child had died, but because he didn't feel it.

The loss was still there, but it was muted now. It wasn't part of his everyday life, not the way it had been before Jacey Lambert stumbled into his life.

He couldn't say if it was the way she perpetually challenged and drew him out whenever they were together, or the fact he'd delivered her baby and shared a life-altering experience with her.

Or if it was how he felt when he kissed her. Part conquering hero, part completely besotted fool. All he knew for certain was that he had never tasted lips as sweet as hers, or been kissed back so tenderly. Or wanted a woman as much as he wanted her. To the point that if they didn't end this soon, he would unbutton that sweater of hers, push up her skirt and touch her so intimately it would drive her out of her mind with desire. And if he did that, there would be no turning back. And turning back was what they needed to do.

Rafferty stopped, breathing hard. Calling on every ounce of self-restraint he possessed, he told her coarsely, “I'm not what you need, Jacey.”

Even if you are what I want….

“I'll be the judge of that.” Hand to his chest, Jacey shoved him out of her way and hopped down from the cab of his pickup truck. She clamped her arms in front of her like a shield. “But you're right,” she pronounced. “You do need to find another outlet for your frustration with the hand life dealt you. 'Cause it's not going to be me. We are certainly not getting together this way.”

Jacey had a call from her sister shortly before midnight on Thanksgiving Day. “How was your Thanksgiving?” Mindy asked.

“Good.” Jacey shifted Caitlin to her other breast to finish nursing. “Yours?”

“Busy. A lot of people get very depressed this time of year, so the E.R. was full of patients.”

“I'm sure you were able to help them.”

“I hope so.” Mindy sighed, sounding as tired as Jacey felt. “So how is your job search going? Made any progress finding a new position in property management?”

How, Jacey wondered, could she tell her sister that the ranch was really beginning to feel like home…and that she was having second thoughts about leaving?

“None so far,” Jacey said honestly. Of course, that was no surprise since she hadn't applied anywhere, or even spent time looking at job postings. “But then, this isn't a great time of year, anyway. Usually, there's not a lot of hiring going on until after the first of the year.”

“I've got a lead on a luxury-apartment complex here in El Paso that may be looking for someone in February. I'll e-mail it to you.”

“Thanks.”

“Have you given any more thought to going to business school? This might be a good time to get an MBA.”

Jacey sat Caitlin upright and gently patted her back. Milk bubbles still on her rosebud lips, Caitlin stretched and yawned sleepily. “I don't think I want to go to grad school now.”
I'm having too good a time simply being a mom, and cooking for an extremely appreciative audience.

“What about starting your own business?”

“I'm thinking about a lot of things,” Jacey stated carefully. Not wanting to argue with her sister, she changed the subject smoothly. “By the way, I'm going to have to work Christmas.”

“Me, too. I was thinking maybe we could get together and have our own holiday on the twenty-seventh of December?”

“Sounds perfect. Caitlin and I will be there with bells on.”

They talked a little more, making plans for the holiday.

Caitlin still hadn't burped, so Jacey could not put her down, but she was thirsty. Slipping a soft pink flannel robe over her white jersey pajamas, she walked out to the ranch-house kitchen for a glass of milk.

Phone to her ear, she continued talking quietly to Mindy as she padded through the hall to the atrium. She was nearly to the ranch-house kitchen when Mindy asked, “What about Cash?”

“I don't want to talk about Cash.”

“Why not?”

“Because Cash is not relevant.” Jacey turned the corner and nearly ran into Rafferty. “Listen, Mindy, I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Yeah, love you, too. Bye.”

“What are you doing up?” Rafferty drawled.

She adapted an equally nonchalant posture.

Now, if only she could get her body to stop reacting to his presence. She met his gaze. “I could ask the same of you.”

“Been working on payroll and doing the books. You?” Desire, pure and simple, glimmered in his eyes.

“Nursing.” She tried without success to forget about the kiss.

He swung open the refrigerator door, peered inside.

While he studied the contents, Jacey studied him. As always, he had showered and shaved after coming in from ranch work. The tantalizing fragrance of aftershave clung to his jaw. He had on worn jeans and an untucked corduroy shirt that brought out the intense blue of his eyes. Thick wool socks. No boots, no belt. Tousled hair. Good thing they had a tiny chaperone.

Determined not to put herself in an emotionally vulnerable position with him, she said, “I gather you ate the Thanksgiving dinner I left for you.”

“Was that what it was?”

She feigned immunity to his teasing. “I think you knew that.”

He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Food is food. Speaking of which—” he squinted down at the blue ceramic dish in his hand “—this pie looks awfully good. Want some?”

The chocolate-pecan concoction was making her mouth water. “No, thanks. I had a piece earlier.”

Clearly trying to push her buttons, he reminded her, “It is a holiday, at least for five more minutes, as you're so hell-bent on reminding me.”

“If you must know, I'm trying to lose weight.” She would, however, have a glass of skim milk. Caitlin cradled in her arm, she moved past him to the fridge, opened the door with her free hand. To her chagrin, the skim milk was all the way in the back.

“Would you mind just for a second?” She shifted Caitlin from her arms to his.

As she moved food around, he studied the yawning babe in his arms. “Wow, she has grown.”

Glad to turn the attention back to her daughter, she said proudly, “She's gained three pounds in the past four weeks.”

“Her hair seems lighter. When she was born, it was almost black. Now it's almost blond.”

Jacey was surprised Rafferty had remembered that. No one else had mentioned it. But then everyone else had been seeing Caitlin every day, so—to them—the change was more gradual. “Probably gets it from her…father. Although the hair-color thing is typical, from what I understand.”

“Speaking of Cash…”

Jacey poured milk. “Not you, too.”

“Has he seen his daughter?”

Jacey put the milk bottle back in the fridge. “I think you'd know about it if he had.”

He flashed her a contemplative grin. “I'm not with you every second.”

“There are no secrets around here,” Jacey said.

Rafferty eyed her thoughtfully. “True enough. Is Cash going to see her?”

Jacey leaned against the counter. “I'm sure he will eventually.”

Rafferty cuddled Caitlin close to his chest. “But he doesn't have any plans to visit anytime soon?”

Jacey drained her glass and put it in the dishwasher. “I don't know.”

“Well, what did he say when you talked to him?” Rafferty persisted.

Jacey flushed. “I haven't spoken to him.”

Rafferty's eyebrow rose. “You didn't tell him he had a daughter?”

Jacey eased Caitlin into her own arms. “Cash already knew it was a girl—I found that out at my ultrasound months ago.”

Rafferty helped himself to a piece of pie. “Still, you should have called him when the baby was born.”

Wishing Rafferty didn't look so damn sexy, Jacey turned her glance away. “I text-messaged and e-mailed him the specifics. He'll get one or the other when he returns to civilization.”

“And then he'll show up?” Rafferty put the pie into the microwave to warm.

“If I were still in San Antonio, I'm sure he would drop by—]he keeps an apartment in the complex I used to manage. I don't know that he would want to drive all the way out here.” Jacey sighed impatiently. “Why are you so intent on making sure that Cash sees Caitlin?”

Rafferty gazed at Jacey with a look that brought to mind long kisses and hotter caresses, then predicted, “Because one look at his baby girl and he's going to fall head over heels in love with her. And that is going to change everything.”

 

B
EING CLOSE TO
Caitlin certainly seemed to be altering Rafferty. He was all heart every time he was near the infant. Which maybe, Jacey thought, was why he had taken such pains to avoid her and her baby. Because he didn't want to be vulnerable, didn't want to be reminded. She swallowed. “I really am sorry about your wife and child.” She hadn't done enough to comfort him on that score.

He shrugged, acceptance shutting out the fleeting sadness in his eyes. “Bad things happen. Nothing you can do about it except go on.”

“But have you?”

He set his pie aside without taking a bite. “Now who's treading where they don't belong?” His hands clamped the counter on either side of him.

Jacey settled a drowsy Caitlin in the infant seat she kept in the kitchen and strapped her in. “I'm just saying you should be dating someone.”

His jaw tightened. “How do you know I'm not?”

Amazed at how unhappy just the thought of that made her feel, Jacey straightened. “Are you?”

“No.” He mocked her with a look. “Are you?”

“No.” She tried to disguise her relief that he was single.

“Why not?” he persisted, picking up his plate again.

She watched him savor the sweetness of the pie. “Because I've been pregnant and focused on bringing a baby into this world.”

He tilted his head. “I've been grieving.”

She could only imagine how hard a loss like his had been. “How long has it been?” she asked softly, wishing they'd talked about this earlier, when he had first told her.

“Two years ago, November first,” he reflected.

Jacey did some quick calculations. “So the day I showed up…”

“Was the second anniversary of their death.” He put his empty plate in the dishwasher.

That certainly explained his unhappy mood that dark and stormy night. “Guess my timing wasn't the best,” she allowed.

He brushed her apology off, letting her know with a look that there were no remaining hard feelings about that. “People kept telling me it would get easier with time,” he mused after a moment. “I didn't believe 'em then, but they were right. It does.”

“So you're ready to move on.” Hope rose within her. She wanted, she realized, to see him happy and living life fully again.

Rafferty exhaled. “I don't know that I could ever go through that kind of loss again…but I think I could enjoy other aspects of a relationship.”

“Physical aspects.”

He grinned in a way that let her know this was true.

Sexual sparks arced between them.

Refusing to acknowledge how attractive she found him, she shook her head in refusal.

“And the companionship,” he added more seriously.

Trying hard not to imagine what it would be like to go to bed with him, Jacey sought out more information on his past. “Were you and your wife happy?”

“She was very beautiful—a city girl, like you.”

Which didn't answer the question. Which maybe, Jacey thought, was an answer in and of itself.

 

J
ACEY WAS STILL THINKING
of Rafferty's romantic past, wondering what else she didn't know about him, when the cowboys headed out the next morning.

Only Eli remained with her and the baby. “You should take the rest of the day off,” Rafferty's father advised.

Jacey hesitated. “I'm not sure that's fair.”

Eli clamped a paternal hand on her shoulder. “Fall roundup is going to continue for another two weeks. You haven't had any time off since you've been here. You need to be out doing what women do today. Black Friday—isn't that what they call it?”

“Because of all the crowds and holiday sales?”

Eli nodded.

“I'm going to do most of my shopping on the Internet this year,” Jacey admitted. “But I would like to get into Summit, look around.” She hadn't had time thus far to see much except the hospital, grocery store and pediatrician's office. The weeks on the ranch had left her feeling a little stir-crazy. And she could use some new reading material. She decided to take Eli up on his offer, got Caitlin ready for their outing and left for town.

Jacey's first stop was the library.

Filling out the application form was easy. All she had to do was prove she was a resident of Summit County—and thereby eligible for a card. “I'm working at Lost Mountain Ranch,” Jacey explained.

The librarian behind the information desk, a petite and pretty blonde about Jacey's age, smiled. “That's one of our historic ranches,” she said cheerfully.

Jacey cradled a sleeping Caitlin to her chest. “How long has it been around?” she asked curiously.

“I'm not really sure. We could look.” The librarian typed in another command. “I don't think there are any books written on it, but there are plenty of newspaper articles.” She paused. “What would you like to know?”

Whether or not I should stay on there, for starters.

Jacey struggled to contain her emotions. “I'm just trying to learn more about the area in general.”
And Rafferty in particular. Was he the kind of man she should even be thinking about getting involved with, never mind kissing?

Noting Jacey's confusion, the librarian leaned across the desk and confided, “I know this is none of my business, but…watch out for Rafferty Evans. He's left a string of broken hearts from here to Big Bend National Park.”

A trickle of unease went down Jacey's spine. “You're saying he's a player?”