A Baby for Easter (3 page)

Alice didn’t comment on any of it. She had no idea what to
say. She knew what Micah’s lifestyle had been for many years. She knew all that
time he hadn’t been living out what he believed. Sometimes choices came with
serious consequences. She knew all about consequences.

According to the birth certificate, Cara was five months
old. According to Alice’s mom, Micah had started coming to church again around
fourteen months ago. Which meant he must have started turning his life around
shortly after his night with Heather.

“You can say it,” Micah murmured, his eyes resting on her
face with a look she couldn’t begin to interpret.

“Say what? Cara’s here now, and she needs to be taken care
of.”

“I know. I’m going to make sure that happens.”

“You probably should do the paternity test, just to make
sure there’s not someone else out there who is really a father. Then you should
probably talk to a lawyer. Even if you decide you can’t raise her, you’ll need
a lawyer to handle the adoption.”

“Yeah. I know. It’s going to be a long process, and I’ve got
to decide what I should do. What’s really best for her.” He sighed and looked
over at Cara again, and Alice could have sworn his expression softened. “In the
meantime, I’ve got to figure out a way to take care of her. I’m afraid if she’s
left to my devices she won’t survive.”

Alice almost laughed at his dry tone, feeling better now
that the conversation had turned to practicalities. “You wouldn’t do that bad.
With babies, you learn quickly. You should probably get a temporary nanny or
something. I wonder who…” She trailed off, wracking her brain for someone who
would want to watch a baby for a length of time that might be a few days or
several months.

Or longer, if Micah decided to keep her.

“I had an idea.” Micah spoke slowly, as if he weren’t sure
of her response.

She frowned. “What’s that?”

“I don’t know if you’d be interested in this at all, but you
were talking earlier about wanting more work and wanting to get out of your
parents’ house, so I thought…” He cleared his throat. “This house has a little
apartment over the garage. It’s separate, not part of the house at all. But you
could have it, if you wanted. It’s really small, but it’s actually pretty nice.
Rent free, of course. And I’d pay you, whatever you’d want. If you could help
me out with watching her. Daniel said you could take her to work with you at
the church, if you think you could get your work done with her there. And my
schedule is flexible, so we could work around your hours at the library.”

“You want me to watch her?”

“Yeah. You seem to know what you’re doing. And I trust you.
And it would save me the trouble of a nanny search, since I don’t even know how
long I’ll have her. And maybe it would help you out too. Temporarily, I mean. I
would never expect for you to do it long-term.”

Alice swallowed and looked over at Cara. It actually sounded
wonderful to her. Extra money. The apartment. The feeling of having a real
place in the world again—even if it was just a garage apartment. Cara. Micah.

Even temporarily.

“I know it’s not the work you really want to do, but—”

“No. I like babies. I really do.”

Micah’s face transformed with relief. “So you’d consider it?
You have no idea how grateful I’d be. I’m not sure I’d have even made it
through today without you.”

She could tell he meant it. It made her feel warm, close to
him.

Closer than she’d ever thought to be again.

“Are you sure you don’t want to rent out the apartment? You
could make a bundle on it in Willow Park.”

“I’m only going to be in this house for a few more months,
so it’s not worth the trouble of finding a tenant.” He rubbed his face with his
hand, his stubble scratchy against his palm. “So you’re good with it? You’re
agreeing?”

“Yeah.” Alice smiled, feeling kind of excited herself. “I
think so. We’ll need to work out the details, but I think we have a deal.”

He smiled, widely, warmly. It was the first time he’d smiled
at her in years. She had to remind herself vehemently of her first rule about
never assuming a guy liked her as he said, “Great. It’s a deal.”

“Does she really need this many diapers?” Micah asked the next morning, gazing
in awe at the huge pack they’d just loaded onto the bottom of their cart.

Alice glanced at her phone, on which she’d pulled up “shopping
for baby” advice for their trip to the store early that morning, to make sure
she’d done the math correctly. “That’s just about a month’s worth, assuming she
uses six or seven a day. She’s going to need them eventually, no matter what
happens.”

Cara had grabbed onto Micah’s sleeve when he’d reached down
to adjust her carrier in the main part of the cart, and now he was playing a
little tugging game with her, making her smile and babble. He was obviously
distracted by the baby, gazing down at her with pleased bewilderment.

When she felt a swell of something soft at the sight of his
face, Alice made herself look away and gave herself a mental lecture. Yes, he
was very cute, this big rugged man trying to figure out how to interact with
Cara in her purple sleeper, but indulging in those feelings would only get her
in trouble.

Her fifth rule might be her most important. Absolutely no
daydreaming.

“The formula is right here too,” she said, gesturing down
the aisle a little way.

Micah retrieved his arm and pushed the cart. “How much of
this do we need?”

“We’ll need a lot. And it says that five-month-olds can
start eating solid foods. But we don’t know what she’s been on, so maybe we
should just get a little formula until we take her to the doctor this
afternoon. Then we can do whatever he says.”

“Sounds good. What kind do you suppose we should get?”

“I have no idea. I wouldn’t get the cheapest kind, in case
it’s not as good.”

“Well, let’s just get the most expensive for now, just to be
safe.” He grabbed a smaller container and put it in the cart. “What’s next?”

She looked at the list on her phone. “We need diaper cream
and baby wipes. They’re right here. This list is really long. She’ll need
blankets and more clothes and a better car seat and a crib or something to
sleep in and maybe a changing table and maybe a swing or bouncy seat, if you
want to buy her that, and…” She showed him the list on her phone.

He swallowed visibly but just said, “All right. We don’t
know what’s going to happen, so we better get her what she needs.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go shopping with your mom or
someone who actually knows about babies?” Alice had woken up last night worried
about this, that she was taking advantage of the situation to get what she
wanted and not thinking about what was best for Micah and Cara. “I really don’t
have much experience with babies, so I have to look up everything. I know we
worked it out last night, but you might do better with someone who knows more
of what they’re doing.”

“No. I’d rather it be you.” He was looking at Cara, instead
of at her. “I definitely don’t want to do this with my mom.”

Alice couldn’t really read his expression, but she suddenly
realized he might be embarrassed. Given how Cara was conceived, maybe he felt
awkward with his mother. He came from a family of preachers. His brother was a
preacher. His grandfather was a preacher. At least one of his uncles was a preacher
too. And Alice thought she remembered he had some cousins and other relatives
who were also preachers.

Children from one-night stands were probably not very common
in their family.

“Okay,” she said lightly, stepping over to peer at baby
wipes. “As long as you’re okay with me looking stuff up or asking my mom for
advice, then we’ll just go with it.”

“That’s fine with me.” He gave her a quick look. “Unless
you’re having second thoughts.”

“No. No. I was just afraid you would—” She cut off and gave
him a sheepish smile. “It sounds like we’re both good with the arrangement.”

“Yeah.” His eyes met hers, and there was something deep in
his expression, but he wasn’t smiling.

They were getting along better now, maybe because they had
to, but he still didn’t smile and laugh with her the way he did with everyone
else. He must still not like her very much.

He’d seemed to like her once, back in high school, during
that summer. He’d held her hand as they walked. He’d kissed her once in the
moonlight, running his hand down her hair and murmuring her name like it was
precious. But that was a long time ago.

***

A half-hour later, they’d loaded up two
carts and were looking at the cribs, which was the last item they needed to
buy.

“Look at this one,” Alice said, leaning down to read the
information tab on one of the smaller ones. “It’s portable and won’t take up
much space and converts into a playard.”

Micah bent over to peer at the picture on the corresponding
box. “What’s a playard?”

Moving closer to peer with him at the box, she said, “It
looks like a playpen.”

“Then why don’t they just call it a playpen?”

“Maybe it’s not politically correct—penning up babies like
animals, I mean.”

He gave of short burst of laughter as he straightened up.
“Let’s get this one. You think it looks like it would be comfortable for her
and everything, don’t you?”

“Yeah. It looks good.”

She watched as Micah reached down and hauled the box off the
lower shelf. She tried not to notice how strong and masculine he looked in his
jeans and t-shirt. The breadth of his shoulders. The firmness of his thighs.
The way his biceps tensed and relaxed as he moved.

“Micah!” a voice came from down the aisle. “Micah, is that
you?”

They both turned toward the voice in surprise, Micah still
holding the box.

A beautiful redhead was hurrying toward them, dressed in
jeans and a sweatshirt but still managing to look well-dressed and elegant. She
was grinning at Micah.

Alice recognized her immediately. Lydia Morgan. She’d dated
Micah for several months in their senior year of high school, the school year
before that special summer Alice spent with him.

“Hi, Lydia,” Micah said, his face brightening with his
characteristic grin, the one he used with everyone but her.
 
“What are you doing in town?”

“I’m trying to raise support to go to India, so I’m here for
at least a few months.” Still smiling, Lydia turned to Alice. Her face changed.
“Is it Alice? Wow, it’s great to see you.”

There was no reason why Lydia would have remembered Alice,
since they were two years apart and had never been friends, so Alice was
vaguely surprised that she did. Lydia had always been popular, outgoing, and
athletic—everything Alice was not. She’d gone on to law school, if Alice
remembered correctly. “Yeah. It’s good to see you too.”

Lydia’s big green eyes had been busily looking at Micah,
Alice, Cara, and all the baby stuff in their two carts. “I had no idea you two
were married,” she breathed at last. “And you have a baby?”

Alice felt a sudden rush of embarrassment, although there
was no good reason for it.

“Oh, no,” Micah said quickly. “We’re not married.”

Naturally, they needed to explain the true situation to Lydia,
but Alice wasn’t sure he needed to do it in such an urgent rush.

“Oh.” Lydia looked confused, as well she would.

“I’m helping him with Cara,” Alice put in softly.

“It’s a long story.”

Lydia’s face cleared with another smile. “Okay. I’m in a
hurry, so you can tell me some other time. I’m sure I’ll see you all around,
since I’ll be in town for a while.” She reached to give Micah a big hug. “It’s
so good to see you again.”

Alice tried—very hard and not very successfully—not to feel
jealous and resentful.

“You too,” Micah said, pulling out of the hug. “What are you
going to do in India?”

“I want to do legal work with a non-profit, working to get
girls out of sex-trafficking. I just need to raise some support before I can
get over there.”

“Wow. That’s great.” Micah looked suitably impressed, which
wasn’t really surprising. Lydia had always been impressive.

She would never be dumped by two different fiancés and laid
off from her job.

They chatted a little more, until Cara started to cry. She’d
been really good for most of the shopping expedition, so Alice could hardly
blame the poor little thing.

Micah started to pick her up, but Alice took her instead,
jostling her while Micah and Lydia finished talking. When the crying got
louder, she walked down the aisle, standing at a distance from them.

She glanced back over her shoulder, murmuring soothing words
to the baby. And she knew, when she saw Micah smiling at Lydia, that she’d
never had any real hope with him.

Not even back in high school, that summer she’d let herself
dream.

Because he’d gone to college a few weeks later and had completely
forgotten about her.

She would help him out now—because she wanted to and it gave
her a start at resurrecting her life—and he would appreciate it. But that was
all that could ever be between them.

Micah could have—and
had
had—the most beautiful women in the county. There was nothing he would ever
want with Alice.

Plus, she had her rules, and not one of them allowed her to
be upset about this now.

***

Later that morning, Alice was
feeding Cara in the church office and trying not to listen to Daniel on the
phone.

It was hard not to, since his door was half-opened and her
desk was very close to it. He didn’t seem to be having any private
conversations—a brief one with Jessica, one with someone who must have been Lydia,
since he was giving her advice on raising support, and one with Chip, one of
the elders in the church, about the Good Friday service coming up soon.

But, still, it just felt wrong to intentionally eavesdrop on
conversations she wasn’t supposed to be part of.

She’d put together the weekly announcements email that went
to church members, and, after she fed Cara, she needed to make copies of the
adult Sunday School handout for Sunday morning. Those were her only assigned
tasks for the day.

Daniel hung up with Chip, and Alice was relieved that she no
longer needed to try not to eavesdrop.

She finished feeding Cara and then carried the baby with her
to the copy machine to make the copies.

She’d just come back and was turning off her computer when
she heard Daniel’s voice again.

Micah had just called.

She knew it was Micah because the phone rang and then Daniel
said, “Hey, Micah.”

They talked briefly about the family with the transmission
problems, who the church was helping out. Alice tried to sing silently to
herself to keep from hearing the conversation.

Then Daniel asked, his voice softer than before, “Did you
ever ask her?”

It seemed like a random question to Alice, but Micah must
have understood it. There was silence for a moment before Daniel responded,
“I’m not nagging. You’re dragging your feet for reasons I don’t understand, so
I’m trying to help.”

Alice simply didn’t have enough context to understand the
conversation, but she wondered if it might have to do with Cara.

Then she realized she was wrong when Daniel said after
another pause, “I don’t think that’s true. Not every woman comes on strong like
the women you used to hang out with. It doesn’t mean she’s not interested. How
will you know if you don’t ask? If you can’t even be man enough to—”

Micah must have interrupted because Daniel broke off
mid-sentence. “Okay. Fine. I guess I can understand that. But she’s not going
to be here forever. If you wait too long, she’ll be gone, and you’ll have
missed your chance again.”

Alice suddenly realized who they must be talking about.

Micah had gone out with Lydia in high school, and pretty
soon she’d be heading out to India.

If Micah didn’t ask her out soon, she’d be gone.

Alice felt a little like crying, but she reminded herself of
her rules. She was resurrecting her life, and that meant being happy without a
man.

She had her family and her faith and her friends and all
kinds of possibilities for life.

She was perfectly happy without Micah.

***

“You’re kidding,” Jana said, surprised
delight audible in her voice, even through the telephone. “You’re living with
Micah
.”

Jana was a friend of Alice’s from Asheville, and she’d
called to chat and catch up on news as Alice was driving home from having
dinner with her parents that evening.

“No!” Alice exclaimed, her breath catching in her throat.
“It’s a separate apartment in the house he’s flipping!”

“I know, I know. But he’s right there, isn’t he? You’re
around him all the time, and you’re taking care of his baby.”

“Not all the time. But, yeah, some. And he thinks Cara is
his baby, but he’s not positive yet.”

“So what do you think about all of it?”

Alice felt her cheeks flushing, even though she was alone in
her car. “What do you mean?” she asked, mostly to stall for time.

“You know what I mean. This is Micah Duncan, right?
The
guy. Your first perfect love who no
one else has ever been able to come close to.”

“It wasn’t like that! Nothing ever happened between us.”

“Now, I know that’s not true. Ever since I first met you,
you’ve always gone back to that summer as your basis of comparison for really
connecting with a guy.”

It was true. It was perfectly true. As much as Alice wished
it weren’t. “Yeah,” she said, clearing her throat. “I just mean there was never
anything serious between us.”

“But didn’t he hold your hand as you walked under the
stars?” Jana’s voice conveyed exaggerated sentimentality, but it was
affectionate rather than mocking. “And kiss you once in the moonlight.”

Alice cleared her throat again. “Yeah.”

“So there was
something
.
How do you feel about him now? Is the spark still there?”