A Baby by Chance (26 page)

Madison began to tremble even as her expression grew more determined. “Look, Chance, I don’t want any uncertainty or angst in our child’s life, either,” she said angrily. “No broken dreams or crushed hopes. No fighting or lovelessness or infidelity.” She stood and began to pace like a professor in front of a class. “If that means not staying together long enough to see our passion fade,” she threatened softly, perfectly willing to sacrifice herself and her happiness for their child, “then so be it.”

On the surface her declaration sounded noble. Chance knew her well enough to realize it was driven by pain and fear. “And you think ending our love affair before the baby’s birth will do that?” Chance asked sarcastically.

Madison shrugged. “Don’t you?”

CHAPTER TEN

“N
O
,”
C
HANCE SAID
abruptly, knowing this discussion was not going the way he’d hoped. Madison’s thinking—her desire to be practical and logical and adult about all of this—was driven more by her fear of being vulnerable than by what was in her heart. “I don’t,” he finished heavily.

Madison refused to meet his eyes. She turned her gaze to the fire blazing in the grate and the rain pouring down outside the Double Diamond ranch house. Briefly, her lashes fluttered closed. She opened her eyes, drew a long, bolstering breath, then continued in a rush. “Look, Chance, I accept our love affair as inevitable, destined even. And I know we have to devise some sort of plan for bringing up our baby and still having our careers.”

Chance was the first to agree they had to make a living. At least one of them had to work, just as one of them had to be available to care for the baby. And since his business was less stressful and more secure, and financially very lucrative, given his success, the choice to him was obvious. But to do it that way was chauvinistic and old-fashioned, at least in Madison’s point of view. He didn’t want to think he was either. Which meant coming up with something else that would leave them all happy and yet together most of the time, too. Not an easy task, given Madison’s single-
mindedness and devotion to her career.

“But I don’t want to talk about all that now.” Madison shook her head and sighed as she sat across from him once more. “I don’t want to talk about it until after the ad campaign is wrapped and ready to go,” she finished with soft determination.

Chance could see Madison did not want to give up her career to stay home and take care of a child. If he were in her position and had worked as long and hard as she had to achieve success, he supposed he wouldn’t, either. Which left them with quite a dilemma. One he knew was going to take some time and effort to resolve. He took her hand and covered it with his. He didn’t want to fight with her, but now that they’d opened the door, he couldn’t just walk away. “Do you think that’s wise?” he asked mildly.

Madison studied him. The way she was looking at him, he knew she felt he was being unreasonable. “You don’t want to go on, knowing there’s this problem ahead of us, do you?” Contempt colored her low tone.

“I’d prefer to solve it now, yes,” Chance said calmly. Problems didn’t get solved by themselves. They just got bigger and less manageable. Outside, the storm picked up. Torrents of rain poured from the heavens. The wind howled in the trees.

He pushed back his chair, intending to draw her into his arms, but she was rising, too, and backing away from him. Something close to anger flashed in her eyes. “I could make an agreement to end the physical side of our relationship before the baby comes and stick to that agreement, if it was for the good of our child.” Her shoulders stiff, Madison picked up her plate and bowl and carried them to the kitchen.

Chance followed suit. “So could I. But that isn’t what either of us wants,” he said fiercely.

“You’re right about that. It isn’t.” Madison set her dishes in the sink with a loud thunk. Chance thought—but couldn’t be sure—he saw tears shimmering in her eyes, but they were swiftly blinked back. “But to tell you the truth,” Madison said, doing her best to look as cool and unruffled as she did in any business meeting, “I don’t want to try and predict how you and I are going to feel six months—or even a year—from now, either.” She tilted her head to his and turned to face him, the vulnerability she’d been hiding returning full force. She searched his eyes for some consensus and said in a trembling undertone that let him know just how reluctant she was to let him go, “I’d rather just play it by ear and do what seems appropriate at the time.”

“So would I,” Chance murmured as she went easily into his arms. Maybe it was because of the way he was brought up, he thought, stroking her hair, but he’d never had a very good handle on his emotions. And as for love, the expression of it, the duration of it, he knew very little. He suspected Madison was in the same boat. Her father’s adultery had not left her feeling very loved, or their family very whole, either.

The question then was simple, Chance decided, still holding her close. Was what he and Madison felt for each other love? And if so, was it the kind of love that would endure through the birth of their child and beyond, for the rest of their lives? Was it the kind of deep, abiding love that would sustain them in good times and bad? The kind of love that would eventually make even the idea of going their separate ways impossible? The kind of love that would not just demand—but inspire—sacrifices of the weightiest kinds on both their parts?

He didn’t have answers for any of that now. Maybe because so much had happened, and was still happening, in so very little time. But he also knew, as he lifted her chin to his and they began to kiss, whatever happened, he wanted to see it through.

* * *

“Y
OU HAVE TO GO
back to Dallas?” Chance asked as Madison pulled out her suitcase the following Thursday evening.

“Just for the weekend,” Madison confirmed. “I’ve got to meet with the AMV marketing and sales departments, plus have dinner with some of the Southwest’s biggest pickup truck dealers and give them an advance peek at the campaign we’re going to be running for the Ranchero. I’m sure everything will be fine in my absence. I’ll be back in time for the last of the filming next week.”

“And after that?” Chance asked.

“Back to Dallas to start putting the Ranchero commercials together.”

Chance looked at the neatly typed pages on her bed. “Is this your schedule?”

Madison nodded. “Kit sent it up in the mail pouch yesterday afternoon, and Shawna gave it to me this morning.”

Chance flipped through it. They had her scheduled from seven every morning until midnight, Friday through Sunday. “Do you work this hard all the time?” he asked casually, unable to help but be concerned. Was it safe for a pregnant woman to be working this hard?

“It depends. Sometimes.” Madison looked up. She frowned at what she saw in his eyes. “You don’t approve.” It was more a statement than a question.

Chance was no stranger to hard work. He had put in mighty long hours during the years he had been building his business, and there were times when he still did. But that was then. This was now. And now he had as much part-time help as he needed.

“Just say what you’re thinking,” Madison told him tersely, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Okay.” Chance watched her transfer a stack of lingerie from her bureau to her suitcase. “I think your hours are incompatible with bringing up a baby.”

She looked at him calmly. “Haven’t you heard?” she returned lightly. “It’s the quality of time you spend with a child, not the quantity.”

“It’s a lot of things,” Chance said quietly, knowing even if she’d braced herself for this discussion with him, she hadn’t braced herself for the reality of having a child. If she had, she would already be admitting it wasn’t nearly that simple. Nor would it ever be. “Kids need more than a sense of obligation in their lives, Madison. They need love and tenderness and genuine care and affection from both their parents. They need time for stories, play times, picnics and heart-to-heart talks. Time for just hanging out and being with their mom and dad.”

Madison went into the bathroom. “I’m prepared to let you participate in whatever activities interest you, Chance.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, Madison,” Chance snapped.

“Oh, really, and what makes you the expert?” she challenged as she bent over the tub to collect her shampoo and conditioner.

“My childhood.” Chance watched as she made sure the bottles were capped tightly before sliding them into a plastic-lined toiletries bag. “My mom died when I was four. My dad never really got over it. And from that point on, he buried himself in his work. He met all my basic needs, but he never really had any time for me and he never expressed any love for me.” It had been a miserable existence. Chance didn’t want to see the same thing happen between Madison and their baby.

“I’m sorry.” Madison paused to give him a brief, compassionate hug before moving past him. “But as I’ve told you before, our child will know he or she is loved.”

“How—if you’re not there to give that love?” Chance asked simply, wondering if she were really that naive, or just choosing to be for the sake of their argument. “This isn’t some kind of part-time job you have, Madison. It’s very demanding. And when you get this promotion you’re up for—”

“It will be easier,” Madison interrupted, going to the closet.

Like hell it would! “How do you figure that?” Hanging on to his temper by a thread, Chance watched her pull one of her smart linen pantsuits off a hanger.

Madison smiled as she folded the garments and slipped them into her suitcase. “Because once I am a vice president of Connelly and Associates, I’ll have more control over my hours. I’ll set my schedule instead of someone doing it for me. And I’ll be able to have more personal staff. Instead of an intern helping me out, I’ll have a permanent executive assistant, plus a secretary all my own.”

Chance sighed. “You’ll also have more responsibility.”

Madison’s lips tightened.

“As a VP, you’ll be expected to bring in new accounts. Those potential clients will need wooing. Wining and dining.”

Madison straightened slowly, the color draining from her face. He assumed she hadn’t thought about this. She had. The knowledge hit him like a sucker punch to the gut. “And your point is?” she asked icily, resenting the blazes out of him for bringing this up.

Chance knew she didn’t want to hear it, but it had to be said. “The job you have now and a baby are not compatible, Madison. And I think you should take a cold hard look at that fact before you accept a vice presidency.”

Hurt flashed across her face. It was swiftly replaced by her trademark stubbornness. “I’ve worked long and hard for this.”

“I know that,” Chance said gently, his exasperation growing. “But you have to be realistic. And think about how much you’ll have left over emotionally at the end of the day to give a child.”

* * *

T
RAFFIC WAS STOPPED
in both directions as far as Madison could see on the Central Expressway in Dallas. She glanced at her watch. It was just her luck she’d get caught in a massive traffic jam en route to the restaurant where she was supposed to meet the AMV dealers. She also had heartburn and was so tired from the travel and the amount of work she’d been doing lately that she ached.

This kind of stress could not be good for the baby, she thought as her snazzy red sports car inched along behind the minivan in front of her. Which reminded her. She rubbed her hand across her tummy and the warm cozy womb in which her baby slept. She was going to have to turn this car in before the baby was born and get something more suitable. Something safe. And practical. And big enough to carry all the gear that babies seemed to require these days. Stroller, car seat, diaper bag, playpen or port-a-crib, plus assorted toys, maybe even a tricycle to ride in the park.

To the right of Madison was a young mother in a small sedan. She had an empty car seat in the back and looked even more stressed out and impatient than Madison felt. She kept glancing at her watch, too.

That could be me in a few months, Madison thought, trying to get to the day-care center or baby-sitter to pick up my child. Was that the kind of life she wanted for herself and her baby? She frowned as the reporter in the traffic helicopter above told the radio station listeners that traffic was going to be backed up for the next three miles, due to construction. Or did she want a life that included plenty of time to read stories and go to the park and bake cookies and bandage hurt knees?

Madison sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Her baby—at first just a notion—was suddenly becoming very real to her. It was too soon for her to feel movement in the womb, but she had a mental image of her baby’s tiny little body, curled up snugly inside her, growing and changing day by day. This baby was a part of her and a part of Chance. Their baby was the miracle that had brought her and Chance together and would continue to bind them for all time. As she thought about it, she knew she didn’t want to miss a minute of this baby’s childhood. She wanted to be there to see their baby’s first steps, and hear his first words. To cuddle their baby in her arms and watch Chance do the same.

But how she could do that if she were on the road, filming commercials, or stuck in high-powered meetings, or flying off to meet with a client?

Madison sighed. Much as she hated to admit it, she knew Chance was right. It was time to start making some hard decisions about her life. She wanted to find a way to have it all, a romantic life and a satisfying career and maybe—one day in the very distant future—even a long-term relationship, one that might someday lead to an even more permanent arrangement with Chance, like marriage.

But first she was going to be awarded her vice presidency, she thought determinedly, because darn it all, she had earned it.

* * *

“I
’M SO GLAD
you’re back!” Shawna whispered to Madison when she arrived at the ranch early Monday afternoon.

“Why?” Madison asked the young intern as she got out of the rental car she had driven from the airport. “What’s going on?”