99 Reasons to Hate Cats: Cartoons for Cat Lovers (3 page)

Reason 26:
From the top of your tallest bookshelf.

Reason 27:
Cats will steal their own food.

Reason 28:
They binge mindlessly on the spoils.

Reason 29:
Then they barf it all back up.

Reason 30:
And then cry for more food.

Reason 31:
Cat pee stinks.

Reason 32:
They’re faster than a thrown pillow.

Reason 33:
If you were small enough, they’d eat you.

Reason 34:
If you were small enough, they’d maim and then eat you.

Reason 35:
If you were small enough, they’d maim, play with and then eat you.

Reason 36:
Cats are smart enough to do tricks but they won’t.

Reason 37:
Cats don’t really eat lasagna. Even the fat ones.

Reason 38:
Curiosity isn’t as lethal as it should be.

Reason 39:
Freaking out when bugs are in the house