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Authors: Gregrhi Arawn Love

Tags: #Memoir, #There Is An Urgency

9780982307403 (17 page)

BOOK: 9780982307403
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out her plea.

Her legs flailed around until she got her feet

under her. Feet planted, she raised her body from

the bed. Her hair still encased in Bobby’s fist, she

was naked and bent over backward standing on

the bed. Bobby’s other fist, still holding the gun,

landed a crushing blow to her arched mid-

section. His punch robbed Debbie of her

momentum and she splashed, defeated, onto the

bed. He jerked his hand loose from her hair and

217

spit on her face before he jammed the grimy gun

barrel between her eyes.

“Gettin’at dick in ya mouf get y’all excited

bitch?” He goaded while he caught his breath.

The drugs had stolen his stamina, but that only

made him work harder and grow more agitated

and angry. He punched her in the face. When she

opened her mouth to cry he jammed four fingers

of his left hand into her mouth and gripped her

chin with his thumb. With her jaw in his grip he

ripped her head from the bed. Sitting her up

straight on the rumpled bed, he slapped each side

of her face with the backside of his right hand

that still gripped the snub nose .38.

He shook his head and roared, “You never fuckin

learn,” as he leaned his weight forward and

rapped her in the face with the gun again. His left

hand still held her mouth open and her head up.

Her head unable to recoil from the shock, her

face absorbed the full intensity of the blow. The

butt of the gun split her face open below her eye.

218

The blood raced down her cheek and pooled with

her tears in Bobby’s palm.

“I tol’ ya ya better learn from this boy. Now don’

say a gotdamn word. N’don’ think of fuckin’

wit’me again,” he yelled as he pounded his fist

into her face again.

Bobby stared at Debbie and growled while

flipping the gun back into position pointing at my

penis, “Now you fuckin move or I’ma shoot this

mufucka’s dick
off
!”

He turned and ripped me from the floor and

stood me on the bed next to my bleeding mother.

He grabbed my penis between two of his giant

calloused knuckles. He jerked my body toward

Debbie.

With a slap that rocked her body backward he

demanded, “Take this mufucka’s dick in ya mouf

and get it hard.”

He swung his arm and jammed the gun between

her legs where my face had just been and asked,

219

”Or‘m I gonn have to kill him and fuck you wit’

my piece?”

The words hung in the air, and I waited for her to

do something. Bobby gave me a last tug that flung

me against my mother.

Her hair was still in her eyes, and her face was

smeared with blood. I was afraid as she jostled

around on the bed to get her bearings. I tried to

balance myself, as the bed bounced under my

feet. Bobby saw me falling and jerked me back

up. His open hand rocketed a blast to the side of

my head as he yelled, “Stay up mufucka!”

“Come here baby” Debbie cooed as her shivering

hand gently cradled my penis. She did not look at

my face.

I reached out and put my hands on her bony

white shoulders as I tried to balance myself

upright. I moved slowly toward my mother as her

hands reached around me and grabbed my legs. I

thought I was safe and hoped it was over when

suddenly I felt warm and wet. I wiped my eyes

220

clear and saw my mother’s forehead pressed

against my belly. She had me in her mouth and I

could feel her tongue flicking back and forth. She

cried and convulsed as I rested my body against

her.

Bobby reached down and cleared Debbie’s hair

from her face. He pulled the crusty hair from her

forehead and cheeks. She whimpered and

squealed from the pain. When Bobby could see

clearly that Debbie was doing as she was told, he

laughed and slapped my bare backside. My skin

had only just begun to warm up and was cut all

over. His slap sent a tearing pain straight through

me. Debbie bit my penis as my body slammed

into her face. I grunted the pain away with my

mouth closed tightly. Bobby backed off to take

another snort from the dresser. His hands

fumbled around the dresser top; he picked

something up and then stepped in close to the

bed. He stroked Debbie’s head lovingly from her

221

forehead back. When his hand reached the top of

her neck, he pushed her head against my body.

I stood on the bed still holding my hands on

Debbie’s shoulders. She was warm and sweaty.

The heat felt good against my body, sore from the

barrage of pain. I didn’t completely understand

what was happening. I had watched Debbie do

this to Bobby and many other different men, and

I knew what it had done to them. I wondered if I

was supposed to like it too.

Stepping back to survey his victory, Bobby put a

joint in his mouth and through pursed lips cooed,

“Yeah baby, ya got that little piece’a dick in ya

mouf like ya mean it,” he paused to light the

reefer.

“That’s all I want baby,” he said while inhaling a

huge drag to keep his joint lit.

“Ya do as ya told,” he coughed, “and it’ll be

alright.” His voice cut through the air, now

thickening with smoke.

222

Bobby sat down in a chair against the wall behind

me. He reclined as he smoked his joint. The air

was heavy with smoke, and while I rested against

Debbie’s head I felt a strange sensation in my

penis. Nearly simultaneously Debbie pulled her

head back away from my body and began to gasp

for air.

“Ho – lee shit!” Bobby said with a chuckle.

“Ya got that damn thing hard like I knew ya

would,” he congratulated her.

Debbie wiped her mouth while I stood between

her legs on the bed. Poking out at Debbie’s face

was my penis. It was pointed straight into the air.

I had never seen it look that way before, and it

was bigger than I’d ever seen. My tiny erection

was very exciting to Bobby who rushed from his

chair to see. As he approached the bed, he held

out his hand that held the lit joint.

“Ya wan’ hit this shit?” he asked while holding

the joint out to Debbie with a smile. She reached

for it, and he pulled it away. He put it to her lips

223

and let her drag. Bobby liked to accent his cruelty

with a fleeting show of kindness. She leaned her

head back to blow out the smoke after several

hits. He grabbed her dangling hair and swung her

body around so her head was facing the top of the

bed. She jutted her arms out and scurried on her

hands to avoid being entirely dragged. She bent

her legs and crawled away from me like a crab.

“Now is for real, bitch. Show me. Show ME how

you gonn’ fuck. Now, you love dis mufucka so

much you gonn’ fuck him right here’n now, come

on bitch.”

Debbie choked and began to cry but before the

first tear came the gun reappeared, the hammer

cocked back and the room went silent.

“You done all that work now you gone finish it.”

He picked me up as I stared at my two-inch

erection. He placed me gently on top of my

mother, my face between her breasts. I turned my

head to the side and closed my eyes ready to fall

asleep. My eyes reopened quickly when the rough

224

palm of Bobby’s hand cradled my head while his

strong stiff fingers raked through my hair and

ripped me from rest.

“You’re gonn’ do as I tell you or I’ma fuckin’ kill

you, you un’stand me mufucka?”

Turning my eyes from his I tried to maneuver my

tired, aching body into the position I had seen so

many men take on top of my mother.

My hands sank into her soft, hollow torso as I

tried to raise my body. Reaching down for my

mother’s hips I trusted that she would not let this

happen. Debbie’s arms were snaking their way

toward me as my eyes begged her to make it stop.

Her bony arm locked and lifted my chest from

hers while her fingers, like tendrils, wrapped

themselves around my penis. Her quivering hand

jerked my penis back and forth. Her head

twitching violently, she was never able to fully

touch her lips to my face as she leaned down to

kiss me. Through spit and tears she whispered,

225

“I’m sorry…” then her lips disappeared inside

her mouth.

My back was sagging from my weight and

exhaustion. My hands pressed painfully onto

Debbie’s stabbing hipbones. As I entered her, she

placed her hand firmly on my backside and

pushed my body into hers. Our bodies were

connected, and I started to cry.

Suddenly the room was ablaze with light, and a

blistering snap cracked through the smoke filled

room. In Bobby’s menacing grasp was the red

bandana from atop the lamp. Through squinted

eyes I watched him flip his mighty wrist. Then the

bandana whipped across my face, stinging the

dried cuts and tearing them open once more.

“What the fuck you cryin for boy?” The words

choked out of his mouth as he held in the smoke

from his joint.

“Boy you losin that cherry wit my favorite bitch,”

was all he had to say before he slapped me again.

226

Debbie’s pubic bone jammed into my belly and I

was nearly thrust off of her, but Bobby’s hand

forced me back into her. After several gut-

wrenching thrusts and head slaps, I recognized

the rhythm and fell into step with her. Debbie’s

face was discolored and sunken like the dead

woman’s I had seen several weeks earlier. She

made no sound, but I could see her chest heave as

she breathed laboriously.

Bobby continued hitting my head but gradually

eased the intensity until he was only slapping out

Debbie’s rhythm as if it were a drum. He was

standing beside me, hitting me with his right

hand on the back of my head. He held his joint

firmly in his left. He was stoned, but he dragged

on his joint until it burned his fingers and lips. In

the heavy gray air, Bobby knocked me off of

Debbie and slid himself into position on top of

her and began tenderly kissing her face.

His kisses fell sloppily across her torn, bruised

face. She cried silently while his body slithered

227

atop her paralyzed frame. His leathery hands

groped her battered skin. Carelessly his giant

palms molded her bloodstained face, stretching

the flesh apart where the butt of the gun had cut

her. His fingers ripped through her matted

scarlet hair, pinning her head to the bed.

“Oh… baby… I… love… you…” He said, half

paying attention. His head nodded back and forth

as he held her head firmly to the bed. Debbie

offered no resistance to the mauling. Bobby’s

backhand had sent me to the floor on the right

side of the bed, where I was an insensible heap.

“Baby, baby, baby, ya know why I love you?

Cause you do what you tol’ and you aint no

bullshit,” he whispered with his head swaying.

“Where dat fuckin boy? Mufucka get up hea’.

You gon’ see how a real mufucka do dis shit.

Right baby?” The snap and unzip of his pants

rang in my ears as he gave the order. I pushed

myself from the floor in time to see Bobby pulling

his pants down over his backside, his filthy white

228

underwear peeling off his skin and snapping

inside the pants.

“Pull deez pants off me boy,” he demanded as my

head appeared at the side of the bed. Holding

tightly to the mattress, I hoisted myself from the

floor and traveled around the side of the bed.

Bobby’s feet were soon in my face. I released the

mattress and grabbed for the pant legs hanging

off the bed. Stepping back I tugged at the crusted

blue jeans. Exhaustion made my hands burn as I

gripped the fabric. Leaning backward the pants

slowly came free from his ashy legs. My back

clumsily smashed into the chest of drawers.

“Get’yer ass up here boy. You gon’ watch me

give it’ta ya mama so ya do it right next time,” he

growled looking back at me, still holding her head

to the bed.

“Shut up bitch,” he yelled as Debbie began to

whimper. He bounced her head on the bed as he

rocked his shoulders forward. I pushed myself

from the dresser to the bed and carefully climbed

229

onto the foot of the bed while trying to position

myself as far away from Bobby as I could. He

reached back with his right hand and got a hold

of my hair and smashed my face into my mother’s

hipbone, “Watch ri’there mufucka and don’

move!” he ordered. My head rested against my

mother’s hip and I watched as Bobby jammed his

erect penis inside my mother as she squealed and

began to cry again.

Over and over he thrust his penis into her. When

her cries became louder he pounded his fist into

her face and commanded, “Bitch, you better be

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