90 Miles to Freedom (7 page)

Collin never made mention of any of it, nor did he acknowledge that Joey was now taking care of the household. But Joey knew Collin ate some of the food. He also knew Collin came in the house when he was gone. Somehow that was comforting. Collin might not want to talk to anyone, but at least Joey knew he wasn’t lying around in bed all day. He wanted to make sure this kind of progress continued, so he always left the house vacant for at least part of the day, every day. That was another reason he headed out to the library each day, besides wanting to hang with some of his friends.

But this morning Joey’d had just about enough. He’d done everything he could, and he’d been more patient than anyone could have expected him to be. He wanted to make a point this morning, whether Collin’s head was up for it or not. He had to let off some steam or he might explode.

“
Oh, yeah,” he said with a sneer, taunting him. At least if he could get a rise out of Collin he’d feel more alive. He hadn’t backed off when Collin had yelled, and there was no way he was going to now. “You sure do look like you’re doing fine. Do you remember what you promised me? You said you were going to fix up the yacht. You said you were going to take me away, that you and I were going to get out of this place and sail around the world. Forget everything that had happened and be happy, out on the water, just you and me. That’s what you said.”

Joey’s hands tightened into fists. He wanted to shake some sort of sense back into Collin. “Were you lying to me? Come on, you idiot. It’s been a year. An entire year. I’ve been waiting a year! Is that day ever going to come? Answer me, you fucking drunk!”

The room was quiet, but to Joey it sounded as if his voice echoed forever. Adrenaline roared through his system, making his hands shake as he stared down his brother.

Collin didn’t answer. He just stood there, looking dazed. After a moment, he took a deep breath, but still looked straight ahead, past Joey. Joey could almost hear him thinking and wanted to whoop with happiness. Maybe he’d gotten through! Maybe something would happen today.

Collin’s eyes focused on Joey again. When he spoke it was calm. “When it’s time, I’ll tell you. Then we’ll leave, no looking back. We’ll just go, leave everything behind. I’ll tell you when it’s time.”

Joey stared at him, so angry he wanted to shake his brother silly. “Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me!” he shouted. He headed towards the front door, grabbing his wallet from the hall table as he went. He glared back over his shoulder at Collin. “I’m going to get the damn mail. Do me a favor, would you, brother?” he said mockingly. “Try to pull yourself together. And do me another one. Take a shower. You smell like a fucking brewery!”

Joey stormed out, slamming the door behind him so hard that the picture frames rattled on the wall.

Collin stared down the empty hallway, exhaling through loose lips. He felt worn down as thin as he could go.

“
I think that went rather well,” Collin mumbled to himself, then turned away.

*  *  *

“
Damn it! What am I doing wasting my time here? He’s nothing but a self-pitying, self-centered jackass,” Joey said to himself.

He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his shorts and stared at the ground, kicking every stone he saw as he walked down the long driveway toward the mailbox. He didn’t expect there to be any mail. He just needed to get a bit of fresh air. The mail was an excuse to walk out and gain a little self-control before he ended up strangling his miserable waste of a brother.

Dad would’ve kept the driveway in better shape than this. Joey leaned down and grabbed a rock that fit neatly into the palm of his hand, and chucked it ahead of him. He imagined his dad sweeping up, checking to make sure nothing needed fixing.

Collin wasn’t the only one grieving. Joey thought of his parents every day. He just wasn’t able to share any of that with Collin. He had to be the strong one. If Dad were here, Collin wouldn’t have turned into a senseless drunk. If Mom were here, she would have made sure he’d showered, at least.

“
Joey! Hey! Joey!”

Joey stopped abruptly and looked up the road, narrowing his gaze at the classic 1963 blue Chevrolet Low-rider which was slowing down and finally coming to a stop at the end of Joey’s driveway. Now that was a nice ride.

“
Hey guys,” Joey said, walking casually towards the car. It was a bit of a stretch to paste on a smile after his recent run-in with Collin, but he managed. Talking with his friends always helped take his mind off the less pleasant aspects of his life, including his brother’s idiocy and sadly lacking sense of responsibility. Joey grinned at the guys, feeling a welcome surge of energy. No way he was going to allow Collin to ruin his day.

Chapter 12

Joey was right, as usual. Collin sighed, thinking about it. He hated the fact that his little brother was so much stronger than he was. He lifted his forearm to his nose and sniffed. Joey was right about that, too. He did smell like a brewery. Taking a hot shower sounded like a good idea. He stretched, reaching towards the ceiling with a loud groan, then scratched his head. Yup. Shampoo would be good, too. Maybe even a shave.

Today might even be a good day to work on the yacht, he thought. If nothing else, at least it would get Joey off his back for a while. He started up the coffee pot and walked towards the bathroom. On his way down the hall, he glanced out the large by window in the living room. It was a pretty day. The water sparkled with invitation.

Joey stood at the end of their driveway, talking to a few of his friends. They’d pulled up in a classic blue car and Joey was leaning in the passenger window.

Collin yawned again, then forced his aching body to continue towards the bathroom. “Jeez,” he thought. “I just woke up and I already need a nap.”

The hot water felt incredible, pulsating on his tired skin like a massage. He leaned his head against the back of the shower wall, letting the water do its magic. He was tempted to stay like that all day.

“
Nope,” he said out loud. “Gotta get my butt in gear today.” Shower and a quick shave. That should do it.

“
Your coffee is ready!” Collin heard Joey yell, but he didn’t reply. He rubbed the condensation off the bathroom mirror and stared at his reflection, combing his fingers through his wet hair. He was badly in need of a haircut.

“
Did you hear me?” Joey demanded from outside the bathroom door. Collin swung open the door and walked out, wearing a towel wrapped around his waist. He was rubbing a smaller towel vigorously over his head.

Collin looked away when Joey grinned, happy at the sight of Collin clean and doing something. Collin didn’t want to see that expression on his brother’s face. He knew he’d let him down, but wasn’t about to take ownership of that. Not yet.

He didn’t bother answering Joey’s stupid question. In fact he made a point of ignoring him. Of course he’d heard him. Who in the entire neighborhood hadn’t? Joey spoke so loud all the time it was amazing he wasn’t deaf.

Collin was well aware of what Joey was up to. He was doing everything he could do to get on Collin’s last nerve, get some kind of reaction out of him. Joey usually did a fine job at that.

“
What’s with all the packages that you keep getting?” Joey asked. “What’s going on?” Collin glanced at him, then looked away when he saw the sarcasm in his brother’s expression. “You’re always getting packages in the mail. Oh, look! There goes the FedEx truck! Hmm. I wonder if he’ll be stopping here.” For a second, Collin almost smiled. His parents would have been proud of Joey’s sarcasm. It was definitely shining through today.

Collin continued to ignore him. He grabbed a coffee mug and placed it gently on the counter, then opened the fridge, searching for the milk.

But Joey had no intention of stopping. He was peering out the window, shaking his head. “Damn, he didn’t stop! Well, don’t feel too bad. You could always hope for the UPS man. I’m sure he’ll be coming down the road soon. Then you can go out and sign for whatever it is.” Joey clicked his tongue as if he were disappointed. “It sure is a sad day when you don‘t get any packages delivered, huh? It’s such a shame.”

Joey faked a broad, salesman’s smile, then winked at Collin. He tapped his fingers on the table just to irritate him even more.

Collin snapped. “It’s none of your business, you nosey little shit! You’ll know when I want you to know.”

“
Whatever!” Joey retorted, dropping the sarcasm like a hot potato. “You know what? I’m sick of this. I’m going to the library. Try to stay sober today, will you?”

Joey grabbed his keys and left, slamming the door for the second time that morning.

“
How much longer is this going to go on?” Joey asked out loud, stomping towards his car. “I’m not sure how much more of this I can handle. I’m nineteen years old for Christ’s sake! I’m only nineteen years old!” He reached for the door handle, then stopped, resting his elbows on the roof of the car. He dropped his forehead onto his arms when tears flooded his eyes.

What was he going to do? All he had left in this world was Collin. Collin. Damn you, Collin.

Joey had a lot of friends, but they weren’t family. And even though Joey saw Collin every day, interacted with him in whatever manner, he missed his brother. This Collin was nothing like the brother he used to have. That brother used to talk with him about school or girls or anything else that was on his mind. That brother used to take him out fishing every weekend.

That brother was his best friend, and he used to love him. The same brother was now full of empty promises.

“
God, Collin. Enough already,” he said through his tears. “Oh, Mom. I wish you and Dad were here. I miss you both so much.”

Joey wiped an arm across his eyes and got into his car, gripping the steering wheel hard enough that his knuckles turned white. He sat for a minute without turning on the engine, feeling more bitter by the moment.

“
The jerk managed to ruin my day after all,” he thought. “No big surprise.” He turned the key and put the car in gear, but wasn’t soothed by the familiar purr of his engine.

*  *  *

Collin poured a second cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table, sipping. He needed to cool down after having survived the latest dramatic encounter with Joey. Would his lectures never end?

He decided to head down to the yacht and do a few things on it that day. But he wanted to do it by himself, without his nagging little brother.

The packages to which Joey had so gently referred were piling up in the general living area of the yacht. It was well past time that he put everything away. Collin hadn’t ordered any new items over the past few weeks, since he’d figured these last packages should be enough. Now that they were all here he’d put them in their right places. Just like his dad used to do with his tools.

Collin, like his mom, was a planner. He found it satisfying to be prepared for whatever might come and always stockpiled provisions just in case. He pulled out his pocket knife and slit open the packages one by one. Then he began to unpack the individual items, placing each of them in their rightful place, and as he did so, he felt life around him shift gradually into place as well.

Throughout high school, Joey had rarely been involved with the cleaning or repair of the yacht. He showed little interest and hardly stepped foot aboard, always claiming he had too much studying to do. Maybe that was true, since he basically lived at the library.

Collin snorted. Joey still lived at the library. He hadn’t boarded the yacht since the death of their parents. Collin paused, wondering. For Joey to offer to help Collin with the yacht was out of the ordinary.