5-Minute Mindfulness (4 page)

Detachment—On a Clear Day you Can See Forever:
Recognize that you are not attached to the conditions of your life. View whatever you have done—or have not done—with objectivity. Casting a clear eye on your situation helps you release any feelings of resentment or regret—freeing you to act in your best interest. This helps you overcome the anger–depression loop.

The Detachment Exercise:
The next time you start beating yourself up about the choices you have made, remind yourself that you are not your choices:

I am not my choices. I am peace.

I am not my choices. I am love.

I am not my choices. I am clarity.

Repeat until you are clear on what course of action you should take. If you are still unable to decide what to do, simply toss a coin—heads or tails—and act accordingly. Do this for one day for every decision, large or small, and by the end of the day, you will see that your choices do not define you.

Unity with Life—Join the Party:
Cultivate a rapport with those around you. No matter how different or unfamiliar the territory, discover the essential qualities you have in common with others. Discovering this unity can remedy the bitterness–isolation loop.

The Unity Exercise:
Loneliness is often born of past disappointments. But isolating yourself from others to avoid getting hurt simply breeds more bitterness. You can break this cycle by acknowledging that we are all one, all connected, all part of the energy of the universe. The next time you are feeling isolated, go somewhere where you can be one among many—a city park, a place of worship, a library, a yoga class. Sit among your fellow human beings, and breathe in the energy of community. Feel this vibration, and call on this energy when you interact with everyone in your life.

The 5-Minute Antidote to Autopilot

The antidote to autopilot is mindfulness. In the middle of your busy day, stop and notice a tree outside the window, a picture on your desk, or that beautiful apple on your lunch tray. Take several minutes to just explore the object with one or more of your senses. You have just practiced awareness—and banished autopilot.

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”

—B
UDDHA

CHAPTER 3

GOOD BYE, MONKEY MIND

“The affairs of the world will go on forever. Do not delay the practice of meditation.”

—M
ILAREPA

If you think you don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to meditate, think again. Meditation is a wake-up call you don’t want to miss— promising you not only greater well-being but also a stronger sense of self. It helps you navigate the labyrinth of your own self-knowledge as you explore various states and stages.

ENLIGHTENMENT

Enlightenment is the expressed goal of many meditation traditions, from Buddhism to yoga. But, it may also be the most elusive thing to achieve. The best way to see this goal is to recognize that we rarely use most of our emotional, intellectual, and physical potential in positive ways. It is as if these areas of our life run on high wattage the way a light bulb does, but the power to illuminate them is very low. When meditation increases the power, these functions “light up,” and when all are working in sync, we are “enlightened.”

IMPERMANENCE

In meditation, your outer, external reality is viewed as transitory and impermanent. You can uncover the true reality—that is, your permanent self—through meditation. Who you really are is not affected by your experience in the so-called real world, however bad or good. So, when difficult or challenging things happen, you can remember that your permanent self remains unaffected—and let go of those experiences that might otherwise haunt you.

ATTENTION

Paying attention is the careful observation of your body, emotions, moods, thoughts, and realtime experiences. Paying attention includes observation of your thoughts themselves. For example, when you look at a picture of a hamburger and milkshake, you may be struck by hunger— or rather the
thought
of hunger. Trace that thought to its origin if possible. Ask yourself where it’s coming from:

• A true sensation from your growling empty stomach (because you haven’t eaten all day and really are hungry)

• A mental picture of a past event (the great burgers you had last week at that cookout)

• An emotional picture of feeling satiated (the happy memories you associate with milkshakes your grandmother made for you when you were a child)

NONATTACHMENT

Being nonattached does not mean cutting yourself off from yourself or other people. Instead, meditation allows us to detach from the preoccupations that bedevil our monkey minds, absorbing our attention, energy, and vitality long after we really need them. By practicing non-attachment in a constructive way, we can ensure that we address the issues that come up as they present themselves—and then release them.

TRANSFORMATION

Transformation is the morphing of one form of energy into another. We do this constantly while breathing, eating, and sleeping. Conscious transformation means noting the energy you use as you use it—helping you use your energy more effectively and move from one form to another more smoothly.

SET THE STAGE FOR MEDITATION

Establish a daily meditation practice, and you will build a foundation for leading a mindful life. That’s why it’s called practice: the more you do it, the more effective it is. And, the easier it is to re-create the peace you experience in meditation during the rest of your life. Think of meditation as your mind’s oasis, a place where, monkey mind silenced, you can refresh yourself. Set up your oasis, get comfortable there, and you can retreat to it at will.

YOUR SACRED SPACE

In the beginning, you will want to select a place where you can begin your practice and continue at your pace, in your own style, without distraction. Ideally, this would be a dedicated room or garden. If you can’t dedicate an entire room, choose a corner of a main room that you can partition with a screen or furniture. (Don’t use a closet or bathroom because this subconsciously marginalizes your practice.) If your sacred space will be outside, make sure you have a comfortable chair, bench, or cushion, and avoid extremes of heat and cold.

Obviously, a place where interference is at a minimum is ideal. When you start to focus your attention inward, the list of potential distractions is endless—and sometimes unexpected:

Clutter.
A cluttered space is a distraction. Just as your bedroom should be reserved for sleeping and making love if you are to invite rest and intimacy into your life, so should your meditation space be reserved for meditation if you are to invite serenity and mindfulness into your life. An orderly, clean environment encourages the feeling of readiness and ease.

electronics.
Turn off your cell phone—and no computers or tablets or radios or televisions. Your meditation space should be electronics-free.

Foot traffic.
Most of all, your meditation space should not be a place where foot traffic will disrupt your focus. An area where others will be eating, ironing, or watching television isn’t a good choice. Members of your household should not be passing through your space. This will be your sanctuary, so it should offer peace and privacy from the outside world.

Lighting.
Even the low buzz of fluorescent lighting can prove an annoyance that detracts from your practice. Allow the natural environment to prevail. Natural light is best—the more windows, the better. With so many of us stuck in cubicles all day, we often miss the rhythms of nature. This cuts us off from positive influences and a connection with the natural world that can prove so helpful in enhancing mindfulness.

Music.
Even music can be distracting—when it’s the wrong music. Be careful when you choose music. Some sounds can stimulate thinking and memories; others can induce lethargy. You will also want a sound system that allows for continuous play or programmed selections so you don’t have to keep adjusting it.

A Space with a View

A natural vista would be helpful for beginning a meditation practice. Trees, bodies of water, and patches of earth are visual aids for detaching from thoughts and emotions. Of course, not everyone has the advantage of living near scenic sites. You could create one of your own.

THE LESSONS OF DISTRACTION

Completely eliminating distractions is neither possible nor desirable; everything is grist for the mill of meditation—even, and especially, the annoying elements in our spaces! Behind every distraction is some attachment waiting to be uncovered and diffused, some adjustment in attitude that needs to be made. So strive to have a clean, orderly, inspiring, out-of-the-way place to meditate but realize that this will never entirely be the case. Even monks and nuns living the cloistered life have physical and mental distractions, just like the rest of us. Distractions sometimes can only be endured or transcended—not eliminated.

THE ACCOUTREMENTS OF MINDFULNESS

Your meditation oasis should reflect your personal tastes and your goals. You can experiment with this, choosing those elements that suit your personality and home décor. No matter which type of meditation you work with—traditional, secular, or your own eclectic version—you’ll need some accessories in the beginning and throughout your meditation practice.

Comfort is an important concern. You may be spending some time in this space, and you don’t want to become discouraged because it feels uncomfortable. You should be able to maintain a comfortable temperature, but keep a warm blanket or throw nearby in case it gets drafty.

The wall space that surrounds you is another consideration. You may want a blank canvas for your initial meditation practice, or you may feel more at ease with the usual décor. Then, again, you may want to choose special wall hangings, a set of favorite prints, a painting, or a Thangka (a Tibetan silk painting and textile object depicting scenes that encourage meditation and healing).

Whether you have access to a lot of natural light or depend on artificial sources, make sure the light can be adjusted. Candles are often used for focus in meditation, but they can pose safety problems if not supported securely. Likewise, incense should be burned in containers that will catch the ashes.

Plants and flowers are other additions to the meditation space that can lend a connection to nature and create a fresh atmosphere. You can even use plants as visual reminders of your meditation practice. Each time you water the plants, you will be reminded that you will also need the refreshment of a meditation session. And, as the plants grow, so will your proficiency in personal growth and self-awareness.

Music is a big consideration for the beginner. You may want to incorporate background music to get in the mood for meditation or to simply obscure distracting noises in other parts of your home or from outside. You may also play useful training tapes and inspirational recordings that are preliminary tools for meditation.

MEDITATION TO GO

While you should strive to establish a meditation oasis in your home for your meditation practice, it’s not the only place you can meditate. You can create an impromptu meditation space wherever you are.

THE CAR

We spend a lot of time in our cars—and much of it is stressful, thanks to traffic, potholes, and long commutes. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Every journey is an opportunity to practice mindfulness. You can meditate a number of ways while in your car:

Breathe.
Every time you hit a red light, stop, look, and listen
to the sound of your own breath
. You can use red lights like bells as reminders to breathe deeply and be present.

Learn.
Stock up on inspirational audiobooks, and listen while you drive. There are countless texts that can inspire your meditative state on the road—from popular bestselling authors such as Deepak Chopra and Pema Chödrön, to readings from the Bible, collections of haiku and Zen koans, or mystical poets, such as Rumi, St. Teresa of Avila, and William Blake.

Listen.
Music can help you turn any time you spend behind the wheel into a mindful experience. While traditional chanting—from the ancient Sanskrit chants of Kirtan to Gregorian chants—is said to vibrate at sacred frequencies, any inspirational music you like may work for you as well. Choose from gospel, classical, Christian, hymns, New Age, jazz, and even rock and roll music—the choice is yours.

THE OFFICE

Wherever you work, you can find ways to incorporate meditation into your workday. If you have your own office, you can simply shut the door and tune in to your own breath whenever you feel the need to unplug from workplace intrigue. Certain icons and elements can serve as reminders and meditation aids, such as:

•
Scented spritzes
to freshen your office as you settle in, marking the difference in mood as you begin to meditate

•
Wall calendars
, with photos or images of sacred places, nature, and/ or iconography, to serve as focus points for meditation

•
Pillows
, for sitting on the floor or propping up your back if you remain seated in your chair

•
Plants
, to help improve the air quality in your room and bring you in touch with nature

•
Timers
, to schedule meditation breaks throughout the workday

Taking meditation breaks while at work will not only help you deal with any stress, anxiety, or irritability you may experience while you are there—it will improve your focus, creativity, and productivity.