4 Waxing & Waning (5 page)

If the first month of training at the Academy was any indication, the theme from the
Rocky
movies should have been playing in the background any time I was in the room.

Professor Blake had either wisely (or stupidly) opted to keep me out of a classroom setting. He said he didn’t want me to focus on academics, which he didn’t think would be my strong suit. Yeah, he seemed to think that wasn’t a putdown either. He’s not bright when it comes to the human condition.

Instead, he had me learning fighting techniques with his “warriors.” He called them warriors, but they were more akin to testosterone-filled morons if you asked me (which he hadn’t bothered to do). They couldn’t have passed a class – even if it involved coloring books and crayons. Which made me wonder: What exactly does Blake think of my mental prowess?

My first days of training weren’t exactly inspiring. I’m not big on working out, and my time spent at the Academy was all about working out. Those first few nights, when I returned to the house on Franklin Street, I could barely lift my arms.

Mornings were worse, the night giving refuge to fatigue and aches. I spent the whole first week walking around in a pain-filled haze.

Things got easier after that.

The fighting techniques they were trying to impart on me were easy. I watched the instructor go through the motions once – sometimes twice – and then I could mimic them to perfection. While they looked fancy and fun, I wasn’t sure how practical they would be in an actual fight. I kept my reservations to myself – which was getting harder and harder to do. Much like Kelsey, I’m bossy when I want to be. And, it seems, I always want to be.

By late September, I realized my pants were loose, and my body was more lean muscle than soft curves. I kind of liked it – even if the work associated with maintaining my new physique was often irksome and tiring.

I’d thought Blake would try and send me out on missions right away. Either he was biding his time, or he really was trying to give me an edge before feeding me to the wolves (so to speak). I wasn’t sure which one had more basis in truth. The more time I spent around Blake, the more conflicted I was concerning his attention. He acted earnest, like he was a good guy caught in a bad situation. There was something else there. I just couldn’t figure out what. Until I did, I kept my mouth shut and pretended to be following the program to the letter. I wasn’t sure what else I could do.

It was early October when Blake approached me with my first mission.

“You want me to be a peeping tom?” I wasn’t thrilled with the mission, to say the least.

“You have such a charming way of looking at things,” Blake said. “I can’t tell you how much joy I take from our conversations.”

“Right back at you,” I shot back, not bothering to keep the snotty tone from my voice.
Hey, I was still me.

“The Alpha Chis are having a meeting of their pack this evening,” Blake said. “While they don’t appear to be an immediate threat, they’ve had their paws in a number of unsavory scenarios on this campus over the past few years. I just want to be kept abreast of their plans and situations.”

“I don’t want to go to the Alpha Chi house,” I said.

“Would you like to elaborate on the reason why?”

“Not really.”

“I think it’s because she used to date two of them,” Mark supplied. I had no idea when he’d entered the training room, but his sudden appearance – and insistence on spreading around my personal business – set my teeth on edge.

“You dated two of them?” Blake asked.

“What can I say? I have horrible taste in men.”

“That’s why you should’ve dated me,” Mark teased. He was trying to be cute, but annoyance was the only thing he was drumming up in me.

“Which two were you involved with?” Blake asked.

“Don’t you already know?”

“What do you mean?” Blake asked.

“Well, you like to think you know everything,” I challenged. “I would think you already know who I dated.”

“Last time I checked, the dating habits of college girls weren’t high on my list of things to worry about,” Blake replied.

“Even at Covenant College?”

“Ever,” Blake said. “Girls of a certain age, girls your age, are fickle beasts.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“I hear that,” Mark agreed. “I can never figure out what they want.”

“So, again, who have you spread your special attributes for?” Blake asked.

I frowned. “You’re a pig.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Blake said hurriedly. “That came out wrong.”

I wasn’t so sure. “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I just don’t want to be put in close proximity with any of the Alpha Chis. I’m trying to avoid them.”

Blake shifted his attention to Mark. “Can you enlighten me?”

“I don’t know the name of her first boyfriend,” Mark said. “I can’t remember. He’s a no one, though. She was with Aric Winters for almost a year.”

Blake frowned. “Aric Winters? Really?”

I shrugged. “He’s got a great smile. What can I say?”

“And why didn’t you find happily ever after together?”

I shot Mark a quelling look. “He was bad in bed.”

Blake rolled his eyes. “I’m guessing it had something to do with the incident at the sorority house. Since you don’t appear to want to divulge the specifics of your breakup, I won’t force you.”

“Great.”

“If you don’t want to go to the Alpha Chi house, I’ll send someone else.”

Well, that was just too easy. “Who are you going to send?”

“Mark.”

I furrowed my brow. “You’re going to send Mark alone?”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“What is he going to do if they find him?”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“What’s his excuse going to be when they find him?”

“What makes you think they’ll find him?” Blake asked.

“Well, they’re wolves,” I said. “They smell things. The odds are in their favor.”

“I’m willing to take the risk,” Blake said, glancing at Mark for confirmation.

“I’m fine,” Mark said. “I’ve spied on them before.”

“You have?” Something about that statement rang false.

“I have.”

I sighed, curiosity getting the better of me. “I’ll go with him.”

“DON’T YOU
think we should be closer?”

Nights were falling earlier these days, so it was dark by 7 p.m. When I forced Mark to hide in the bushes on the far side of the Alpha Chi house, he’d balked.

“We can’t get any closer,” I whispered. “They’ll either see or hear us.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Just … shut up and trust me. You’re such a pain.”

“Why are you mad at me?” Mark asked. “What did I do?”

“I don’t appreciate you telling Blake about my personal life,” I said. “It’s annoying. It’s actually beyond annoying.”

“I’m sorry,” Mark said, shrugging. “I didn’t realize it was a secret.”

“Did you tell Blake about Paris?”

Mark shifted uncomfortably. “Why would I?”

He knew why. Paris was a witch. Mark was a good guy but … with all that had happened … . I tried to push the worry out of my mind. “We can’t get any closer. Just trust me on that.”

“We’re not going to be able to hear them from out here,” Mark complained.

“They have two houses,” I said, pointing for emphasis. “Do you even know which one they’re having the meeting in?”

“Well, no … .”

“Then how do you even know what building to be next to?”

“I don’t.”

“Well, then, just shut up.”

“You’re really crabby,” Mark grumbled.

“I’m not crabby.”

“You’re crabby,” Mark said. “I think it’s because you miss your little wolf friend.”

“I think I’m crabby because you won’t shut up,” I countered.

Mark rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“We’re not trying to hear what’s going on in the house anyway,” I said.

“We’re not? But Blake said … .”

“We’re waiting for them to leave, and then we’re going to eavesdrop on what they say,” I said. “We’re going to get more information from disgruntled wolves than trying to listen to a meeting.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Girls eavesdrop on each other a lot,” I said. “You learn a few things in high school. Granted, very few of those things are helpful, but the art of eavesdropping is one that might come in handy from time to time.”

“I guess I’ll take your word for it.”

“That would be great.”

We were silent for a minute, a state that Mark obviously found uncomfortable. “So, how are things with Paris?”

I sighed. “She’s fine.”

“Is she seeing someone?”

“No.”

“Is … .”

I slapped my hand over his mouth. “Shh.”

Mark looked like he was going to argue, but the sound of the door opening at the far house caught our attention. I removed my hand, crouching lower so I could listen. I recognized the two figures exiting the house – my heart flopping painfully at the sight of both of them.

“I don’t understand,” Will said. “Why did you want to talk to me away from everyone?”

“I know what you’ve been up to,” Aric said, his tone grim. I wasn’t close enough to see his face, but I could imagine the look of disdain flitting across it. I’d seen it a time or two – sometimes directed at me.

“I haven’t been up to anything,” Will argued.

“Don’t,” Aric said, his voice tired and harsh. “Just don’t. I won’t stand for it.”

“I don’t even know why you still care,” Will challenged. “You’re out of her world now. She’s not your responsibility.”

I straightened.
Was he talking about me?

“You’re not going near her,” Aric said.

“Do you really think you can stop me?” Will asked. “It’s not like she trusts you.”

“She might not trust me,” Aric said. “I can’t change that. I’ve tried … I … there’s nothing I can do about that.”

“And you’re all heartbroken,” Will said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “She crushed you.”

Aric grabbed Will’s shoulders, lifting him a full foot off the ground. “Don’t forget your place here, Will. You don’t have the power to take me on.”

“I don’t need your power,” Will said.

“No, you’ve allied with another faction,” Aric said. “Again.”

“I have not,” Will protested. Years spent together told me he was lying. “I’m not with anyone.”

Aric shook his head. “I’m warning you,” he said. “Stay away from her. There’s no reason for me to even catch a hint of your scent by her. If I do … .”

“You’ll what? Kill me?”

“Perhaps,” Aric said, dropping Will to the ground and starting down the steps that led from the porch.

“You know you can’t save her,” Will challenged. “Sooner or later, you’re going to have to accept that.”

“I don’t.”

“Come on, Aric,” Will said. “She’s going to die. She has to die. It’s either her or us. You can’t protect her. You don’t have the power.”

The growl emanating from Aric’s throat was loud, reverberating across two lawns. I could feel his anger from here. “Stay away from her. I’m warning you. I’m more powerful than you realize. When it comes time to take care of her, I’ll be the one handling that particular task.”

“He said he’d handle you? What is that supposed to mean?”

I’d been home for less than a half hour, but I’d already told my story to two curious roommates twice. I had a feeling Professor Blake would balk at me telling Kelsey and Paris about the inner workings of the Academy. Funnily enough, I felt no guilt about my actions.

“I have no idea what it meant. Why do you think I’m telling the two of you?” Deep down inside, I knew it wasn’t Kelsey and Paris’ fault. I was still … agitated.

“Why didn’t you ask him?” Kelsey asked.

“You mean, why didn’t I step out from the bushes and say, ‘Hey, I’m sorry I was eavesdropping, but what did you mean by that?’”

“Pretty much.”

“It didn’t seem like a good idea at the time,” I said. “Mark was there. And Will.”

“So, why don’t you go and ask him now?” Paris asked. “You could go alone. It’s not like he would turn you away.”

No. He wouldn’t turn me away. I wasn’t sure I could deal with seeing him on a one-on-one basis, though. “I don’t know … .”

“Is it because you really don’t want to see him?” Paris asked.

“Or is it because you really
do
want to see him?” Kelsey added.

“It’s because I don’t want to deal with it,” I said. “I’m not ready. I can’t … I just can’t.”

Paris held her hands up. “Okay. Then you have to find a different way to find out.”

“What would you suggest?”

“Will.”

I stilled. “Will? He’s the one who wants to kill me,” I said. “Why would I ever want to be alone with him?”

“I’m not saying to approach the situation through Will,” Paris said. “I’m saying to approach it through his significant other.”

Ugh. I’d rather be killed by Will than deal with … her. “I am not asking Brittany for anything.”

“You don’t have to,” Paris said, getting to her feet. “I’ll stop in and visit her.”

“What? Right now?”

“It’s better to get ahead of this than behind it,” Paris said. “I can use the excuse that I’m out for a walk and I think I’m being followed.”

“You seem to be forgetting that, on this campus, you very well may be followed,” I pointed out. “And killed.”

“I’ll go with her,” Kelsey said. “I’ll drop her off a block away and wait in the car.”

“I don’t know,” I hedged.

“It will be perfectly fine as long as she doesn’t see you,” Paris said, patting me on the shoulder. “She still likes me.”

“But you picked living with me over living with her,” I said.

“That made it easier for her to move into the sorority house,” Paris replied. “She was secretly happy about it.”

“If you say so.”

SITTING
docile on the couch waiting for others to complete a mission was a new feeling for me. I didn’t like it. After pacing across the small living room about a hundred times, I gave up and walked outside.

October nights in mid-Michigan are a mixed bag. Some drop into the forties, while others remain in the sixties. Tonight was on the warmer end, but winter would be coming soon.

I had no idea where I was going when I set off. I had no destination, just a busy mind. I was walking for almost an hour when I felt someone watching me. I paused, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, and listened closer. I hadn’t heard anyone. Not yet, at least. I knew he was there. He has a certain
presence
.

“Rafael? I know you’re there.”

“You’re getting better,” he said, stepping out from behind a tree about twenty yards behind me. He was dressed in his usual outfit, black from head to toe, and his face was drawn and grim.

“I can sense you specifically,” I said.

“That’s either good news or bad news,” Rafael said. “I would feel better if you could sense others around you, too. I’m flattered you’re so in tune with me.”

“Don’t be,” I said. “You’ve followed me so many times I just have a feeling whenever you’re around. I think another woman with a stalker would develop the same power.”

Rafael arched an eyebrow. “So, now I’m a stalker?”

“You have some of the same personality defects.”

“Which are?”

“Lurking.”

“I don’t lurk.”

“Oh, you’re the definition of a lurker,” I scoffed. “You’re also a busybody. You have that in common with my mother.”

“And I suppose you think your personality is flawless,” Rafael challenged.

“Oh, no, I’m very self-aware,” I said. “I’m bossy. I’m mean. I’m sarcastic. I have the attention span of a gnat. I’m narcissistic. I’m easily bored. I take out my frustrations on others. Oh, and I’m prone to fits of unrepentant anger.”

Rafael smirked. “You are definitely self-aware.”

The smile I sent him back was small, but heartfelt. “What are you doing out here?”

“Looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I had a feeling you were in danger,” Rafael said.

The smile slid off of my face. “No you didn’t.”

“I did.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You came to find me because you wanted to find me. Let’s not start the night out with any lies or half-truths.”

Rafael cocked his head to the side, considering. “Perhaps I wanted to see you,” he conceded.

“Next time? Just be honest.”

“I’ll consider it,” Rafael said. “If you consider telling me the truth.”

“What truth am I not telling?”

“What were you doing outside of the Alpha Chi house with the long-haired hippie this evening?”

I snorted. “First off, no one uses the word ‘hippie’ anymore. You’re dating yourself when you say stuff like that. Second, I need you to stop following me. It’s creepy, and I hate feeling smothered.”

“You feel like I smother you?”

“You have your moments.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll stop following you,” Rafael said, holding up a finger to temper my immediate reaction. “If you make an effort to tell me the truth.”

“Fine.”

“It’s a deal?”

“It’s a deal,” I agreed. “What do you want to know?”

“You haven’t told me much about your time with the Academy,” he said. “How are things going?”

“If you wanted to know, why didn’t you ask?”

“Because I thought you would tell me when you were ready,” Rafael said. “I believe things happen in their own time.”

“So, you just waited?” I wasn’t used to patient men.

“I bided my time,” he clarified.

“They’ve kept me out of classrooms,” I said. “I’m not sure why. Part of me thinks it’s because Blake thinks I’m not smart enough to grasp what they’re teaching there.”

“And the other part of you?”

“They’re teaching things there they don’t want me to see.”

“You don’t think he trusts you,” Rafael mused. “That’s an interesting turn of events. You don’t trust him, and now he doesn’t trust you.”

“I don’t think he ever trusted me,” I said. “He just wants to study me.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Rafael said, shifting so he could lean against a tree. “Have you given him anything to study?”

“Nope.”

“So, what have you been doing?”

“Physical drills,” I said. “They’ve been training me to fight. Getting me in shape for … something.”

“And what do you think that something is?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “Once I know, then I’ll be able to form a plan of action.”

“And your spying mission at the Alpha Chi house this evening?”

“He ordered it,” I said. “I wasn’t going to do it at first, but then I decided it was the lesser of two evils.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that I’m going to have to go out on some sort of mission eventually,” I said. “I might as well at least make it look like I’m cooperating.”

“Aren’t you? Cooperating, I mean.”

“To some extent.”

“So, you still don’t trust him either.”

“I don’t trust anyone,” I replied.

“Not even me?”

I shrugged. “I trust you as much as I trust anyone.”

“I guess I can’t ask for more.”

“Not now, no.”

Rafael nodded. “And you’re out walking now because?”

“Because I’m antsy,” I said. “I need to think.”

“And I suppose you want to think alone?” Rafael pressed.

“That’s when I do my best thinking.”

Rafael nodded, his shoulders lowering in resignation. “Then I guess I’ll let you think.”

“Thank you.”

I DIDN’T
believe him. His intentions were good, but his follow-through wasn’t historically stellar. I think he actually meant what he said, but meaning something and actually doing something were two totally different things.

I decided to test him.

It took me almost a half hour to walk across campus and, when I found myself in a familiar parking lot, I stood and waited. He didn’t appear. If he was following me, he kept far enough away that I couldn’t sense him.

I glanced up at the apartment building in front of me and sighed. I’d spent so many nights here last year, it felt like a second home. It was
his
home, of course. Aric’s apartment was on the second floor, and I could see the doorway that led to the stairwell from where I was standing.

I told myself that I’d come here to test Rafael. If he thought I was going to approach Aric, he would try to stop me. In truth, though, I came for me. Happiness was a hard emotion to wrap my mind around these days, so I’d come to the spot I last remembered being truly happy.

Death is a funny thing. After the events of my freshman year at Covenant College, I’d joked that death followed me. Now, I felt it was true. Death and destruction really did follow me, even when I was hiding and fleeing. There was no escape.

I was just about to turn and leave when I heard a door open. Instinct took over, and I ducked behind a car to camouflage myself. Voices followed the door – and one of them was Aric’s. The other belonged to a woman. A woman was walking out of Aric’s apartment – and the realization hit me like a fist.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? We could spend some time together. You could tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong,” Aric said. “I have some stuff I need to get done.”

“You’re a senior, and your father is a senator,” the woman scoffed. “They’ll pass you just because of who you are.”

“Maybe I don’t want to pass that way,” Aric replied. “Maybe I would rather do the work and accomplish it on my own.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know,” Aric said. “I just have some stuff to do.”

“And you don’t want to tell me what happened tonight?”

“Nothing happened,” Aric said. “It was just a fraternity meeting.”

“I thought those were supposed to be fun.”

“Then you heard wrong.”

Even from here, I could hear the aggravation in Aric’s voice. She was pressing him – and he didn’t want to be pressed.

“Well, okay,” she said.

I tipped my head around the edge of the car so I could get a look at the woman, curiosity getting the better of me. She was tall and willowy, long auburn hair cascading down her back. Her toned legs were on display in tight black leggings, and she had her hand on Aric’s arm.

I wanted to punch her.

She leaned in, like she was going to kiss him, but Aric pulled his head back to thwart her attempt.

“I’ll see you later,” he said, running a hand through his shaggy hair before turning on his heel and walking back into the building. He didn’t look back.

The woman wrinkled her nose, her disappointment evident. I remained hidden until she climbed into her car and drove away. When she was gone, I straightened. For a second – just one – I considered going to him.

I went home instead.