3rd World Products, Book 16 (33 page)

Putting a hand on the back of a seat, Tanya looked weary as she lowered herself into it and said, “Apparently you’re still an ‘us’. Make your damned board go away. I think I made a big mistake this evening.”
 

Maybe I looked at my board for a moment too long. She said insistently, “
Please
put your board away, Ed. We need to talk some things through.”
 

I made the board vanish and considered whether to sit down, then took a seat anyway.
 

Tanya said, “You’ve had your say and now it’s my turn. I’m sorry about that ‘return to the thrilling days of yesteryear’ crack. Maybe I watched too much ‘Lone Ranger’ as a kid, I don’t know. It just suddenly seemed to me that I was just a piece of your puzzle that happened to be fuckable. I remembered what you said about Linda’s daughter… I mean niece… and how you’d
never
do
her
. But you’d do
me?
The daughter of someone else you’d worked with back then? What did that say about my mom and me? That we weren’t as
important
to you as Linda?”
 

She grabbed her juice pack and sucked it dry, then wadded it up and looked for a place to put it. I silently pointed over the side. Tanya raised her left hand to shield her eyes and threw the pack-wad. It flashed to plasma with a soft ‘
paff!
‘ and she lowered her hand.
 

“So tell me, Ed, was that it? You could fuck
me
because I wasn’t as important to you?”
 

Elbows on knees, I sighed and tried to think of how to explain that. “If Linda’s niece pounced on me, I’d pry her loose and send her on her way because Linda is
way
more important to me than her niece’s libido. Which I’ve never actually seen, but it seems likely she has one, since everybody else does.”
 

Sipping coffee, I said, “But with you, it’s exactly the reverse. Marie already hates me. Linda’s been in my life for the last decade and I love her after a fashion. Not romantically; her boyfriend has that covered. But I’ve been completely out of Marie’s life for the last nearly-forty years. I don’t have to give a damn about pissing her off and your libido has been a magnificent work of art, as is the rest of you.”
 

With a sour chuckle, I said, “Imagine what it would be like to be kicked out of heaven for no apparent reason. That’s what it was like at dinner. I wanted to grab you and scream ‘
what the hell did I do?
‘ and force an answer out of you.”
 

With a chuckle of her own that sounded almost like a sob, Tanya stared at her hands and said, “Funny, I felt the same way. Heaven suddenly looked like a porn set and I was just a bit player who got screwed all through the movie.” Looking up, she said, “I wanted to scream, too. ‘
What the hell’s wrong with you? How could you do this to me?
‘ I got pissed off and depressed at the same time.”
 

After a moment, I said, “Sounds like we both got wrong ideas about things. I guess the question now is whether we still have those wrong ideas. We can’t unthink them, but can we get past them? Put things back like they were and keep them there until they really
are
like they were?”
 

There was a pause before Tanya said, “I… I don’t know. Can you do that? I mean you, personally?”
 

“Yes. We just had a misunderstanding, Tanya. A
real
one, not some social euphemism for hard-headed intractability. On one level, what we had was about fixing Marie. On another, we had each other. If that desire is still in you, let’s just go with it. Let’s try to get all we can while we can. When I stop being cute enough or you meet a guy who really winds you up, we’ll take our winnings and leave the table.”
 

“You’re assuming I’ll be the one to meet someone else.”
 

“Sure am. No, wait. I’m ‘presuming’, not ‘assuming’.”
 

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Why?”
 

I shrugged. “Everything about you was perfect. I’m not kidding in the least. Everything. Even
your personality and character matched up. I was happy to be with you, even when I thought you might say or do something to spill the beans. I’d have found another way. No sweat.”
 

Pausing to sip, I said, “I don’t feel that way about many people. Only about three, in fact.”
 

“Three? Who?”
 

“Linda, Angie, and you. And because Angie might have to follow orders when that would be very inconvenient, she’s a sort of provisional member.”
 

Tanya just looked at me for a moment, then smiled slightly and said, “You better hope she doesn’t hear that.”
 

“She knows. Sometimes I’ve had to leave her out of a piece of an info loop to avoid putting her on the spot about something. If all worked out, fine; her troubleshooter came through and beers all around. If not, she could truthfully say she didn’t know what I was doing until it was over.”
 

The bright splash of light that was Ocala came into view and I pointed over the side. Tanya marveled at the world below for some moments as we descended, then looked at me.
 

She said, “Maybe if we take it easy at first.”
 

“That’s not how you
were
doing things, ma’am.”
 

“Well, maybe it should be. Maybe I let myself go too far too fast with you.”
 

I looked at Ocala and said, “All you get when you cut yourself short is less than you need. It’s frustrating as hell.”
 

“Experience speaking again?”
 

“Hell, yes, it’s experience. When the track is wide open, you stomp the pedal and go. If you can’t or won’t open up, why be there at all?”
 

I turned to her and asked, “Have you ever had sex with someone who was timid and shy? Someone you had to try to encourage just to get the basics? Nothing fancy?”
 

She snickered, “What do you consider fancy?”
 

“You’ve had it a lot since yesterday. It seemed to work really well for you, too. Answer the question.”
 

Tanya sighed, “Yes. I have. It was like trying to talk a frightened puppy out from under the bed.”
 

Nodding, I agreed, “A good comparison.”
 

“So… it’s all or nothing?”
 

“For me, yes, so it’s your call. Remember when you said, ‘
We’ve done what we can for my mom. This is all about us now
‘? If that statement was true then, it’s still true. Continue as before or let the fears win.”
 

We landed in front of her apartment. My probes swept the place inside and out. No bugs.
 

Tanya picked up her pack and studied me for a moment, then asked, “Can I have a night to think about it?”
 

Uh, huh. Right. But I agreed, “Okay.”
 

She stepped forward and kissed me. It felt nothing like her other kisses, but I cooperated fully. When she stepped back, her eyes were brimming slightly. Or was it a trick of the light?
 

No matter. She stepped off the deck and went to her door. I waited until she was inside, then started to lift away. A six-inch red dot appeared on Tea’s hull field. It wiggled back and forth and up and down quickly. Tea tracked it to a car in the parking lot and a probe showed me Agent Elgin using a laser pointer.
 

As I flew past her, I pointed at her, then pointed ahead and followed the road south. At the next intersection I turned left and waited. Elgin followed and stopped her car behind Tea.
 

I stepped down and walked back to her car as she rolled down her window and said, “Get in.”
 

“Why?”
 

“We need to talk.”
 

“Not in your car.”
 

“It’s fifty degrees out there.”
 

Casting a small dome field around myself, I said, “Not in here. Feel free to join me.”
 

After a moment, she rolled up her window and got out, then stepped inside my field, which
detected active electronics on her and drained their power cells immediately.
 

She said, “This is rather awkward.”
 

“I can make chairs, too. Or we could sit on the flitter.”
 

With a small smile, she echoed, “Not in your car.”
 

“Then this is it. What’s on your mind?”
 

“You’ve got a real mood going, haven’t you?” Waving a dismissing hand, she said, “Sorry. Forget I said that. I’m used to having to push to get what I want and everything I’ve seen says you aren’t pushable. Why were you in Aspen?”
 

“Tanya wanted to see the place.”
 

“So it was about… romance?” Glancing at her watch, she said, “Just after seven? Did things not work out well?”
 

I shrugged. “It was about romance. I’m not altogether sure how that will go at the moment. Why’d you stop me?”
 

The moonlight played over her face and hair as she seemed to decide what to say next. Not a vapidly pretty woman in the paint and powder sense. Very attractive without obvious cosmetics. Firm, pronounced features without exaggeration. Who did she kind of look like? An older, slightly better-filled Jennifer Garner? Sort of? In this light, anyway? She looked about forty. She also looked very competent and she had some guts or she wouldn’t be out here in the dark with me. I decided not to be a smartass with her.
 

Elgin said, “Just a minute,” and disengaged two listening devices from her jacket. She put them in the car and returned. This time my field didn’t detect any electronics on her, not even a cell phone.
 

“I think,” she said, “I just
think
, mind you, that you’ve already done what you can about Marie Connor. If you hadn’t, you’d probably be in that apartment right now.”
 

“Thoughts are still free. Assumptions can be expensive.”
 

Her left eyebrow arched slightly. “I like that. I think I’ll keep it, if you don’t mind.”
 

“Sure. Just take it off my taxes, ma’am.”
 

She laughed softly. ” I have trouble taking things off my own taxes. Sometimes I think they watch us closer than anyone else.”
 

“Prob’ly so. Why’d you stop me?”
 

“I wanted to see who and what I was dealing with. Just you and me, nose to nose. I’ve read your file. I wanted to see if you were for real.”
 

Damn, I was getting a lot of ‘
are you for real
‘ crap this evening. Maybe my annoyance showed more than I thought.
 

Elgin put up a hand and said, “That wasn’t meant to be any kind of challenge or cheap shot. I’m serious. Do you know any of the things people have reported about you?”
 

I shrugged and continued studying her face.
 

She said, “You’d be surprised, I think. I talked to Hayes. He told me about an incident at a Texas farm, but I didn’t completely believe it until I read the reports.”
 

“If they’re factual, they’re true. Why’d you stop me?”
 

Her eyes followed mine for a moment more, then she asked, “What are you looking for? A bug?”
 

“Nope. My flitter said you were clean.”
 

“What, then? It’s like you were memorizing my face.”
 

“I was. I like it. In fact, I think I’ve liked
you
ever since I first saw you, but you’re NIA, so I won’t tell you how much.”
 

She blinked. She stared. “You’re serious?”
 

“Oh, hell, yes. Have people ever said you look a bit like Jennifer Garner?”
 

Even in the moonlight I could see her blush slightly. Her fingers clenched lightly a few times, something some people do when they don’t know what else to do with their hands.
 

I said confidently, “Yup. I can see they have. And they’re right. And this isn’t some kind of pass at you, so let’s get back to why you stopped me.”
 

Her face lost its startled expression.
 

“As I said, I think you’ve already done what you can. I think that’s why you’re going home alone, too. Is there anything you’d like to tell me while you still can?”
 

“You mean you wouldn’t come see me in jail, ma’am?”
 

“I’m sure they’d keep me too busy. What about it? Anything you want to get out in the open?”
 

“Nope. You’re NIA. Even if I were hopelessly in love with you I wouldn’t tell you while you’re toting that badge.”
 

Elgin gave me a droll look and said, “Then I guess we’re done. For now. You have a good evening. Sir.”
 

She turned and walked back to her car. Moonlight flashed appealingly on her calves. As she opened her door and looked back at me, I made Tea vanish and called up my board, then launched toward home.
 

When I arrived, I plunked myself down on the sofa chair and used a core link to retrieve Brian White’s street address, then pulled up photos of myself from the seventies. Passport. Visas and some training footage I recognized. Notalin’s classes. ‘
Here’s what ya done wrong first, kid.
’
 

Using probes, I cobbled together a somewhat altered clone of myself at about age twenty-three and studied it. Good enough. Me-ish, but not quite me. More nose, a narrower chin, wider cheekbones, different ears. It was almost two in the morning in Germany. Just right. A probe found White in his bed. I sent my sim to his room and tapped on his bed’s footboard.