3rd World Products, Book 16 (11 page)

“Just a minute.” I used my core to tell her matrix to go into stealth mode and park six inches above her head between uses. The matrix seemed to vanish and Tanya glanced quickly around herself. I said, “Reach up. Carefully. Over your head.”
 

She did so and her fingers found the matrix. She asked, “Why can’t I see it now?”
 

I chuckled, “Well, duh, ma’am. It’s
invisible
, y’know? Sort of, anyway. I call it ‘stealth mode’. Light bends around it. When you call it up for use, it’ll become visible.”
 

Tanya was now using both hands to explore the invisible matrix above her head. I said, “Don’t get too used to it, though. This one’s only on loan.”
 

“If I like using it, can I buy it?”
 

“Sure, but they’re ten grand apiece and you’d get one of Serena’s scooterboards.”
 

Looking at me, she echoed, “Serena? Who’s she?”
 

“Another AI lady. You’ll meet her if you decide you want a board.” As an afterthought, I said, “Or she might just sell you this one, since it already knows you.”
 

“I thought you made it.”
 

“I never said that. I leave sales to Serena.” Buffing my nails on my shirt, I said, “I
did
invent this model, though.”
 

Goggling at me, Tanya’s tone was one of disbelief. “
You
invented them?”
 

I grinned. “Yup. Impressed yet?”
 

Her gaze narrowed. “No. How the hell could you invent one if you don’t know how fields work?”
 

“Can’t say.”
 

She retorted, “Then I can’t believe you.”
 

“Can’t have that. Serena, ma’am? Got a minute?”
 

Serena manifested on Tanya’s left and asked, “Yes, Ed?”
 

Rather than trust that somewhat antisocial Serena would bother sending theta waves at Tanya, I did it. Just in time, too, as Tanya sucked in a deep breath and ended up sighing it out rather than screaming.
 

Serena gave me a tiny smile and, “Good catch.”
 

“Thank you. This is Tanya Connor. Would you be so kind as to tell her who invented this version of the scooterboard?”
 

Turning to Tanya, Serena said, “He didn’t like Sue’s original version, so he designed his own.” Turning back to me, she asked, “Was that the only reason you called me?”
 

“Oh, lordy no, milady. When I told her about you I realized I hadn’t seen you in ages, ma’am. That made me begin to feel rather deprived, so I grasped at the excuse to discuss sales to call you. Tanya might want to buy a scooterboard later.”
 

With a direct gaze, Serena said flatly, “I’ll borrow from Angie to say, ‘You are
so
full of shit
sometimes, Ed.’ Did she really express an interest, or was that also blather?”
 

Tanya coughed a snicker, then a real laugh escaped her. I’d let up on the theta waves and now I stopped them. Tanya extended a hand and said, “Pleased to meet you, Serena. Yes, I might be interested if I can master the use of this one.”
 

Serena shook her hand briefly, then said, “Anyone to whom I’d sell one could master it, and you’ll be no different. Have Ed contact me when you’re ready.”
 

Her reply put Tanya off balance a bit, but she nodded. “I’ll do that. Thank you.”
 

“You’re welcome. Ed, is there anything else?”
 

I sighed, “Well, no, not really, but…”
 

“Then I’ll take my leave now. Goodbye, all.”
 

Serena nodded to Tanya and vanished. Tanya stared at the spot for a moment, then turned to me and asked, “Did you piss her off or something?”
 

“Not to my knowledge, and I’ve asked her the same question a few times. She’s always been the cool one. No apparent interest in socializing at all, even with other AIs.”
 

“Would she really agree with that?”
 

I shrugged. “She has in the past. Want me to call her back so you can ask her? And I’m
not
being a smartass, ma’am. I’ll call her back if you really want to know. Or you can ask her when you buy that scooterboard.”
 

“If I buy it.”
 

Grinning, I nodded gravely with, “Oh, yes, milady. Of course, milady. You’d be the first who didn’t, too.”
 

Tanya seemed thoughtful. “If Stephanie can’t sell me one of those PFM things, how can Serena sell me a board?”
 

“No contract. No obligations.”
 

“It’s a field… device… isn’t it?”
 

“It isn’t a
medical
field gadget or a PFM. Serena’s sold hundreds of them. She told one stuffy government pogue she’d move her enterprise to the asteroid station and deny them to politicians. They quietly backed off.”
 

“Why doesn’t Stephanie do that?”
 

“That end of things is a bit more tangled. Steph is trying to sell enough PFMs to get the price down to damned near nothing. She thinks everyone on Earth should have one. When politicians sense a threat to power, they get shitty fast. They imposed sanctions and restrictions.”
 

“A threat to power?”
 

“Who’d be in power on Earth if there weren’t problems? Who in power on Earth doesn’t create problems? What happens if everyone has a personal protective field? No diseases and damned few injuries. How do you sell health insurance to people with protective fields? How do you rape, rob, or hurt someone with a protective field, and how would that affect the jobs of cops and nurses, for example? How will hospitals stay in business? There’s more, but that’s a start. Suffice it to say PFMs were heavily legislated almost as soon as they appeared. The boards are seen as entertainment devices, so nobody in power is afraid of them.”
 

Sipping coffee, I waited for a response, but Tanya just looked up at the space between her fingers in a thoughtful manner and said nothing. After a time, her arms dropped to her sides and her thoughtful gaze fell on me.
 

She said quietly, “Maybe you’d better tell me why I rated one of these, Ed.”
 

I sipped again and said, “One of us is probably going to have to haul Marie out of that place as gently as possible. Might be me, might be you. That will depend on how things gel. That’s also why I want you able to use that board by sundown tomorrow. Maybe not full-on surfing. Just sitting on it and making it go would be good enough. And knowing how to use it to communicate.”
 

Tuning to the common frequency, I sent her a ping. She startled and seemed to be listening for something. Her eyes met mine as she asked, “Did you hear something?”
 

I sent another ping with, “
Yup. Sure did. That was an invitation to chat.
”
 

Tanya froze. Her eyes bugged and her mouth fell open. In absolute amazement, she almost
whispered, “
Your lips didn’t move! I heard you in my head!
”
 

I sent, “
You got it. It isn’t quite telepathy, though. You can’t read my mind and I can’t read yours. Your disk received my commo signals and relayed them to you. Try it yourself. See if you can send me a ping.
”
 

Still speaking aloud, she asked, “A what?”
 

“
That chime tone. It was a request for contact. The second one I sent had words attached because I overrode usual procedures to tell you how it works. Just think a tone like that at me. If you can do it, we won’t need phones.
”
 

In truth, I had no doubt she could do it, but it seemed to me a small challenge might spur her past her shock. Tanya continued to stare at me for a moment, then looked at the silver spot on her arm.
 

Another moment passed before she sent, “
Am I doing it?
”
 

As she looked up from her arm at me, I sent, “
Yeah, you’re doing it. Where’s the ping?
”
 

“
The… Oh. Uh… just a minute.
”
 

The ping she sent was slightly higher-pitched than mine. I sent back one of my usual pings with, “
Okay, got it. That one’s yours. This one’s mine. Let’s keep it simple, please. Don’t use any cutesy ring tones, okay?
”
 

Tanya’s hands trembled as she backed toward the table and found it with her groping right hand. She took her eyes off me long enough to find her chair and go to it.
 

Her eyes found me as she sat down. She sat up straight and with a small smile sent, “
What about using music?
”
 

Shrugging, I sent her a piece of a car commercial that used LMFAO’s ‘
Party Rock Anthem
‘, figuring she’d recognize the dancing hamsters.
 

A big smile lit up her face as I sent, “
But a personal chime is split-second short and instantly recognizable. That’s what we’ll be using for the time being. After we deal with Marie, you can use bluegrass or a Prokofiev symphony or whatever else tickles your fancy. Now it’s time to pack that backpack I mentioned. Sturdy clothes and necessities for a couple of days. After Monday we might be on the run for a while.
”
 

Tanya returned to speaking aloud. “On the run for a
while
? Then why only pack for a couple of days?”
 

“There are stores everywhere. If you don’t have an item, you can get it later. Pack for immediate convenience.”
 

“Give me an example of immediate convenience, please.”
 

“Sure, lady. Something to wear while we do laundry. Your own soap and toothpaste. A towel. Tampons or whatever you prefer. Hair and skin stuff. Need I go on?”
 

Rolling her eyes, Tanya held up a hand and said, “No, no, that’s okay. I get it now.”
 

“You’ve never been camping?”
 

She shook her head. “No, but I’ve stayed overnight or over a weekend a few times. I should have realized what… never mind. I’m still trying to get a grip on things, I think. It’s hard to believe this is really happening. And happening so fast.”
 

“Faster is better sometimes.” I shrugged. “Except when it isn’t, of course. Now I want to show you something you might consider fairly special. Got a big mirror anywhere here?”
 

“On the back of the bedroom door. Why?”
 

“You’ll see. Show me your mirror and I’ll show you a neat trick, ma’am.”
 

That lifted her eyebrow, but she led me to the bedroom and closed the door. “There it is. What’s your trick?”
 

“Watch.” Standing sideways, I called up my board in the space between the bed and the bureau and stood on it, then had it go to stealth mode.
 

The look on Tanya’s face was priceless. She reached a tentative hand and her fingers collided gently with my crotch. I gently moved her hand up a few inches to my belt buckle, then dropped stealth mode. She realized what she’d touched and pulled her hand back fast with a blush.
 

I said, “No sweat. You just reached to see if I was still there. As it happens, I was. Now it’s
your turn.” I stepped off my board and let it vanish to give her some room.
 

Tanya reached up for her matrix, then said, “Tell me how I’m supposed to do it.”
 

“Call up your board, stand on it, and tell it ‘stealth mode on’. And look in the mirror so you’ll see how it happens.”
 

“I just saw how it happens. You disappeared.”
 

I sighed in mock exasperation, “Well, okay, then, sweetie; you can watch yourself disappear and call it ‘entertainment’. I don’t give a rat’s ass. I just want you to be able to do it.”
 

Tanya snickered, then chuckled, “Sorry. Scooterboard.”
 

Her scooter appeared. I shook my head. “Board.”
 

She glanced at me, then looked at her scooter and said, “Board.” It morphed into a board about six inches above the floor. Tanya put a foot on it and a hand on my shoulder, then stepped up in the narrow space and stood looking in the mirror. She said, “Stealth mode on,” and vanished.
 

From that apparently empty space came a low, slow, “
Oh, my Gawwwd!
”
 

I sipped coffee and waited. After some moments, she said, “Stealth mode off,” and reappeared. Staring at me, she asked, “Can all scooterboards do this?”
 

“Nope, and once this mission is over, this one won’t be able to disappear either. It was decided that invisibility might be too much temptation for the general public.”
 

Canting her head, she said, “I can see the reasoning, but who did the deciding? You? Serena?”
 

“Linda and I and a few others agreed not to make stealth mode a public facility in PFMs and boards.”
 

“Other than you, who can use stealth mode?”
 

“Classified, ma’am. Ask Linda if you meet her.”
 

“I can actually meet her?”
 

Shrugging, I said, “Don’t see why not. We prob’ly ought to call ahead, though. She’s retired, but she keeps busy.”
 

Tanya turned to the mirror and disappeared again. After doing it a few more times, she stepped off the board, said, “Board off,” and reached up as if to verify it was there.