39 Weeks (15 page)

‘Thought so, I know you don’t I?’

‘Do you?’

‘Yeah I’m sure I’ve met you somewhere, just can’t quite . . .’

‘It’s possible I suppose.’ I said nonchalantly.

‘Didn’t we . . no I’d have remembered. So you been working at this place long?’

I couldn’t believe it. He was chatting me up . . again.
Not only didn’t he remember spending the night with me
, that was kind of insulting enough, but I was pregnant for God’s sake, fat. Okay not huge but fat, and wearing fat clot
hes. This guy was unbelievable, did he just chat up anything with a pulse?

‘Sorry I’m in a bit of a hurry.’ I said still walking.

‘Hey don’t rush off. My names Matt, I’ve been working on the new offices downstairs
,
but I’d have asked to be moved upstairs if I’d known there was anyone like you up there.’

Oh please, I thought. As chat up lines go that’s downright cheesy, surely no-one in their right mind would fall for that. Then I remembered I already had once.

‘Don’t suppose you know anything about cars do you, can’t seem to get mine started.’ He said.

As if. I mean do I look like I know anything about cars?
‘No sorry,’ I said.

‘I’m just waiting for my brother to give me
a
lift home, unless you could . . save him the bother. Which way you going?’

‘Sorry I
’m really
in a rush.’ Why the hell was I being so sorry about everything, or even talking to him at all. Without the booze haze he wasn’t even that good looking, and he certainly wasn’t going to win any personality contest anytime soon, not with that permanent leer
etched on his face
.

A car pulled up and for a second I did a double take as a second Matt the twonk got out. I looked from one to the other not quite able to take in what I was seeing. Both Matt’s started laughing making the bizarre situation even weirder.

‘Hi I’m James.’ The new second Matt said. ‘It’s okay you’re not seeing double or going mad
,
we’re twins.’

‘Twins. Oh twins right.’ I said
suddenly understanding the blata
ntly obvious.

‘Has Matt been
annoying you
? He does that a
lot.
To everyone.’ James said grinning at his brother.

‘Cheers.’ Matt said.

‘Well you do, mostly females of course.
You shouldn’t
listen to a word he says it’s all lies anyway.’

‘Cheers again.’ Matt said.

‘Anytime.’ James said still laughing.

‘Okay I really have to go.’ I said and walked smartly to my car.
Well the brother seemed alright
I thought
,
as I unlocked the door and slid in behind the wheel
. Then mentally castigated myself for even thinking along those lines
.

I started the engine and watched Matt get into James’s car and
dri
ve off
. Then before I’d even taken my
hand brake off it h
it me. Twins. As in two of them . . . a
nd I was having the twonk’s baby.

Oh my God.
I could be having twins.
This was turning into a nightmare of epic proportions.

9
th
September – Week 14 + 5
D
ays

It was Friday. It had been a long hard week, all week.
Fishers
monthly board meeting was usually on or around the fifteenth and Norman Steadman was
,
as
always
,
on our case
to make sure the month end figures were finished
a few days
earlier
so he had a chance to go over them
beforehand
.
Every time he phoned up to see how it was going what I wanted to say was ‘Yes Norman I get it, you need the figures for the fifteenth
, just leave me alone to get on with it for God’s sake
’, but what I actually said was ‘Yes Mr Steadman everything should be finalised by Friday’.
It had
been a bit of a slog
what with all the office reorganising, and the smell of new paint really wasn’
t helping.
I don’t know if they were using
some
particularly obnoxious smelling paint or if it was just the baby thing
, but even with all the windows open I felt like I was
positively
drowning in the foul fumes.

Of course the main distraction for me since Monday had been the terrifying thought that I might be having two babies, as if one wasn’t bad enough now there was a chance it could be two.
I hadn’t slept at all Monday night worrying about it, but my next check up was the following day so I hung on
,
failing
miserably
but trying
not to think about it too much. I asked the doc while he was taking my blood pressure, which under the circs I would have thought would have been
off the scale but actually was
just normal, what were the chances of it being twins. He said the chances were high as the father was a twin himself,
and that they’d have a better idea on my next scan. Then I’m guessing after seeing the look of extreme panic written large all over my face, prodded me about a bit more
and amended his prognosis to ‘b
ut it doesn’t feel like twins, and most mothers having twins would be bigger by this stage, so you’ve probably got nothing to worry about’. I hung on to what I hoped was his expert diagnosis like a life raft
in a vast ocean
of doom, hoping I could contain my internal melt down until my twenty week scan which was another five weeks away.
 

At work t
he builders had finished upstairs at least
,
and this afternoon everyone was in the throes of moving
the contents of their desks and all the rest of their accumulated
paraphernalia, with the help of a couple of the
guys from the print room, to their
new allotted places.
It was pandemonium gone mad, but
o
n the upside my delicate condition meant that nobody expected me to lift anything, or do anything much
at all. I did manage to
wheel my chair from one end
of the office to the new smaller office
at the other end
that was to be mine and Martins, but that’s it, everything else was done for me.

Doreen was not so lucky
, she’
d had to do a lot of
the
shifting
, lifting
and
organising
on her section herself, not to mention
placating everyone. George the set in his ways duffer had
been no help at all, in fact was still positively resisting
all changes,
and had voiced his opinion quite vociferously all afternoon on the whole subject of office reorganisations.
I think at one point he even moaned because his phone wa
s on the wrong side of the desk.
Understandably she was about ready to kill him and only the thought of his imminent retirement at Christmas kept her from throttling
him right where he
belligerently
sat on his
lazy
oversized
arse.

When I got home what I felt like doing was vegging out in front of the telly
, but Shelley had organised a girls night out, my coming out party she said, at Benito’s
restaurant. I was tired, but nowadays when wasn’t I? And a night out was a night out, and I was looking forward to seeing everybody.

I didn’t need to bother having dinner as obviously I would be eating at the restaurant, so
I had a shower and changed into my new comfier jeans, the
n
deliberated between
a large size tee shirt or a large size over-shirt. I favoured one of the new tee shirts especially as I hadn’t had a chance to wear any of them yet, but the over-shirts were undoubtedly a bit smarter for going out.
But when Shelley arrived at seven she had a present for me
that rendered any decision making on the ‘what shall I wear’ front redundant.
It was a real deal maternity tee shirt, the genuine article, black with a few sparkly sequins sprinkled round the neck and over one shoulder
, and an almost subtle neon pink slogan across the chest saying ‘I’m not fat I’m pregnant’. The subtle bit was that the writing wasn’t too massive and as long as you were more than ten feet away it would be hard to read.

I thanked her, gave her a hug
and straight away disappeared to the bedroom to put it on. Although I wasn’t too enamoured with the slogan announcing the fact I was pregnant, still I loved it and had to admit it did fit better than the tee shirts I’d bought last Saturday, and hey this was supposed to be my coming out party
wasn’t it? S
o the slogan was sort of
par for the course really.
  

We went in my car, as I wasn’t going to be drinking anyway, and there was a distinct possibility that some of the girls, Shelley included, would be going on somewhere else after the restaurant. I hadn’t made my mind up if I was going to be one of them or not yet, the plan was to see how it went and if I felt up to it nearer the
time.

We were the first to arrive, Shelley had phoned ahead and warned them
at the restaurant that
there might be about eight of us
, just to be on the safe side
and guarantee the only large enough table they had that could accommodate us all.
We ordered a glass of white wine each, mine low alcohol, and settled ourselves at the large round table up on the mezzanine level to wait for everyone else.

‘A night off from Nick then, are you getting withdrawal symptoms yet?’ I asked.

‘You’re so funny, and no I’m not.
He’s having a bit of a boys night out with his mates tonight anyway as it happens, and I don’t see him every night
you know.’

I didn’t answer I just gave her a questioning stare that implied ‘Oh really’.

‘I don’t. I see him maybe four or five times a week tops.’

I still didn’t answer, or change the look on my face.

‘Okay maybe six or seven, but I don’t want to be anywhere else, or with anyone else, and neither does he,’ she confessed. ‘Well except tonight to be with you of course,’ she hastily added in case I was offended.

But I wasn’t offended I just thought it was funny
, a bit treacly twee, but mostly funny.

‘So how’s it been at work, did they give you a rough time when you told them?’ Shelley said changing the subject.

‘It wasn’t as bad as I thought, most people were really nice about it. Only one hiccup
,
I had to talk to the twonk.’

‘No! What happened did he remember you?’

‘Well sort of, he remembered my name but not that we’d . . . but that’s not the worst bit.’

‘There’s worse?’

‘Oh yes, much worse. He’s got a brother.’

‘So he’s got a brother?’

‘A twin brother.’

‘And?’

‘And that means he’s a twin
.’

‘Okay what am I missing here, so he’s got a twin brother so what . . . oh my god you think you could be having twins. Bloody hell.’

‘Er yeah. Bloody hell just about covers it.’

We didn’t get a chance to unravel all the mysteries of my really crap luck, or how the hell I was ever going to be able to cope with twins if that’s what it turned out to be, because Tricia arrived closely followed by short Fran and Helen.
Then while they were still in the throes of ‘Oh my Goding’ and squealing about how I’d kept it all a secret and how round I was,
Dianne and Mel arrived.
 

The decibel level rose significantly making the other diners in the restaurant turn to see what all the commotion was about, then seeing it was a bunch of unruly
women obviously on a girls night out
give us a few dirty looks, that prompted me to tell everyone to please keep it down a bit as everyone was looking at us.

Suitably chastised
and uncharacteristically
,
although it was still early
and
as
yet un-alcohol fuelled as
these things go
, everyone quietened down a bit and sat down to begin my in depth grilling as to the who, when, and how’s of my predicament.

Some of us had a starter, although I gave it a miss, while the rest of us waited patiently, or not so patiently in the case of short Fran,
for them to finish and get on to the main course. I too was getting impatient to get to the main course hoping that once everyone was eating
,
the endless questioning would abate somewhat. I couldn’t blame them all really, I mean if it had been one of them pregnant and I’d only just found out a
bout it
I’d have been just as curious, or should I say as nosy, as they were all being now. Maybe nosy is not quite the right
narrative
after all they were my friends,
okay
make that interested.