2 Maid in the Shade (22 page)

“Oh come on now, you disapprove of everything I stand for.”

“I do not. Have I ever thought about sleeping with you? Yes. Do I think it would le
ad to complications? That depends entirely on you. Same as with Ben, although I know for sure that would forever change our bond. Especially if it went sideways and he ended up married to someone else. I couldn’t exactly be Auntie Gretchen to his offspring.”

“You’ve never slept with Ben
?” Jared looked pleased.

“He is the one constant in my life. I
’ve almost slept with Ben. Am I glad I didn’t? Sort of. But if I slept with someone else now and Ben found out I
thought
he would be devastated. Now I’m not so sure.”

“And where do I fit in
?”

“I
haven’t given that enough thought. I’ve considered it, a LOT,” I said sheepishly.

“Seems like you were thinking about it when you got dressed
tonight,” Jared said.

“Not everything I decide is about you,” I said hotly, taking another sip of tea.

“Maybe it should be, after all, I’m here. You always know I’m within shouting distance. All things being equal you have to give me that. You call and I come running like a lost dog.”

“
But all other things aren’t equal—love isn’t a balance sheet.”

“Who said anything about love
?”

I
stood and starting gathering the plates to hide my mortification. As I moved over to Jared’s side of the table my hands were steady as I began to stack the dishes. I kept my eyes on the table and I cleared my throat as I picked up his plate.

“You’re right,
no worries, I wasn’t declaring my love for you. I’ve had a day. Maybe I’m just realizing, in spite of everything; I definitely belong with Ben.”

I
stole a look at Jared through the veil of my hair as I leaned across to collect his napkin. His face was stoic, but his eyes looked as though I had slapped him as he stared across at the pond.

I
froze for a moment as he stood up slowly. Wordlessly, he unburdened me of all the dinnerware and left me standing on the porch as he opened the door and took it all inside.

A
s soon as the door banged shut behind him. I backed against the porch railings and pondered the situation. Why is everything so complicated? I wondered. But I was nothing if not self-aware and willing to answer my own question. Me.

I
was the reason everything was so complicated. I had come here purposefully to salve my bitter feelings about Ben’s double life, particularly the foreign girlfriend—if that’s what she was. I had sneered at Jared’s sexual lifestyle without considering that Ben, of course, had one too. I had wanted Jared to find me desirable and boost my ravaged ego as though he was some emotional urgent care.

I
opened the screen door and went inside. The dishes were all done and stacked neatly in the drain basket. Jared was gripping the counter and staring straight ahead lost in thought.

I
picked up a dishcloth and began drying the plates.

“Just go,” he said flatly.

“Jared…” I began.

“Stop,” he said. “I’m not doing this anymore
. You make all kinds of judgments about me, who I sleep with, how many women, but you know something? They know exactly where I stand. I don’t lead them on, they have no illusions that there’s a future in it. They know what they’re there for and so do I.

But
this Ben, this man of sterling character you are destined for? The one who promises you forever and is so seldom here? Go. Go to him and stop torturing me.”

“He isn’t here
now…” I began.

“And I am not going to be his place
holder when he isn’t.”

“I never asked you to. I thought we could be friends.”

“Yeah well, I’ve decided I don’t need any more friends.”

“What do you need
?”

“An hour ago I would have said I need you, if you had asked. Now I’m pretty sure you are about the last thing I need.
But I will give you credit for one thing. I know I want more. You’ve opened my eyes to that.”

“I am sorry. I do think about relationships. But I don’t even know if I ever really want one. I imagine it.
I catch my mind going down that path and yes, with Ben. But then I hit an obstacle. I’ve always thought I wasn’t actually cut out for forever. And I got a call from one of Ben’s lady friends recently,” I shrugged. “I thought he was waiting for me, I always thought that. But I never considered how he kept himself occupied in the interim. You’re exactly right. I admitted ruefully, “I was wounded and I wanted to feel better.”

“Because Ben has a girlfriend.”

I nodded.

“So the mighty Ben ha
s fallen.” He smiled softly then moved toward me and lifted me up onto the kitchen counter. “I sense an opening here. Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere,
” I whispered.

“Then it’s your lucky night. Everywhere happens to be my specialty.”

I looked into his eyes then shut my own as his lips fastened onto mine. I drew back then began kissing his neck. I made my way back up to his mouth and held the back of his head. I was squirming slightly as I pulled him closer, kissing him hard then more softly as I moved my hands down his sides. As I traced my way up again and curled my arms around his neck my mind was swimming.

A
s I was about to pull back his arms encircled me and his hand moved down slowly as he lifted me. He continued the kiss as he carried me, and swung toward the bedroom. He laid me gently on the bed and deliberately he stood there a moment looking at me while he disrobed.

I
felt panic start to rise up in my chest. “Jared,” I whispered.

“
We stop when you say so,” he said giving me the kind of look I might give an injured doe.

W
ith a sharp intake of breath,
I nodded and reached for him. “Say “when,” He said softly as though he were putting sugar into my coffee.

I
t was hours before we fell asleep. Knowing this was the only night we would ever have gave me a sense of abandon I had never felt before. Now I realized what all the fuss was about. We fell asleep with his arms wound tightly around me.

I
woke up with a start and with some effort slipped out of his grasp and darted into the bathroom. I looked around, found the mouthwash and took a healthy swig. To hell with manners, our mouths had been everywhere last night.

I
turned on the shower, hoping not to wake him, but in desperate need to wash the night away, as though my actions could be carefully cleaned and shelved like fine crystal I was ambivalent about using. 

I
heard him at the sink and stepped back from the streaming water before the predictable scalding came.

He
flung the curtain back and stepped in.

I
laughed. “ONE night remember?”

“The moon is still up.”

He grabbed the shampoo and lathered up his hands and began to wash my hair. At first it was heaven but as he made his way down he knelt and pressed me against the tiled wall and suddenly I was burning for him again.

T
he next time I awoke the sun was brightly streaming over the bed.

J
ared had pushed off the covers and I stole a glance at him. Since he was sleeping I unabashedly stared.

O
ne arm was flung over his forehead; his blonde hair was pushed back. Though bulkier than Ben, and almost as tall, he was all lean muscle, his tan ended low below his navel and picked up again mid-thigh, blonde hair curling and glistening lightly against it.

“
Stop worshipping me,” he said in a tone of mock exasperation.

I started then laughed.

“AND,” he said firmly, breakfast is your responsibility.”

Blushing
furiously, I said, “You know my skills are limited but that’s fair. What do you want?”

He
grinned and pulled me to him. “I was hoping you’d put it that way.”

A
fterward, I insisted on showering by myself. I locked the door just in case. When I came out I was dressed except for the lingerie which seemed pointless to put on after the shower, Jared was no longer in bed. I came out into the kitchen where he was cooking breakfast clad only in jeans. Good Lord, his muscles looked like they were sculpted by an artist infatuated with superheroes.

“Good morning,” he said handing me a cup of coffee. “Breakfast is almost ready.” He turned back to the stove.

“I don’t eat breakfast,” I said apologetically, “but I will drink the coffee.” I eyed the bacon and eggs he was working on then raised my cup to him in salute. “Well now that I know what I’ve been missing I have to say the women in this town are pretty smart to want seconds.”

“Don’t pretend you think that was just sex.”

“I’ll admit we have a connection. We’re not strangers after all. But it doesn’t change anything one night, NOT to be repeated, never to be spoken of again.”

“You and your rules.”

I felt a rising panic, “I didn’t force you to agree.”

“I think you’ve made it
impossible for me to deny you anything.”

“Jared you
promised, otherwise I never…”

“Oh yes, you would have, but fine.”

I sipped my coffee. It was wonderful. I noticed a percolator on the stove.

“You actually make coffee, it’s great.
”

“Stay, I'll give you coffee in bed.”

“I don’t,” I began and then sighed. “I’ve never had a one night stand in my whole life until last night. I know it was wonderful, for me, but don’t you think that was because I had no expectations, no experience in that area? You do this all the time. I just wanted to see what it was like to have sex with no consequences just once.”

“No such thing as no consequences.”

“You never seem to suffer from any. I think you had, as the town’s resident expert, an ethical obligation to clue me in on that beforehand.”

“
It’s a little late for a tutorial but anything you want to know?”

“Yes! Do you have a baggie or something, a grocery bag, what does one do with one’s
under things?”

“You aren’t wearing any
?” His eyes traveled up to my chest. “You realize your obligation to extend the one night stand to several days just increased about tenfold?”

He
moved toward me quickly and I held my hand up to block him.

“I don’t think I can trust you on that call.”

“We could check with Lucy,” he smirked, “I think she would be thrilled to give us a ruling on it.”

“You promised no one was going to know!”

“You keep secrets from your best friend?”

“I keep secrets from
everyone.”

He
reached into a cabinet muttering to himself. “Let’s see where I keep the bags specially marked for women’s under things?”

I laughed as he handed it to me.

“We are agreed though? We tell no one. This was just a one night
occurrence.”

He
leaned back against the counter, “As the person who initiated you into the one-night stand policies and procedures I think I do owe you a quick lesson.”

I
smiled and leaned back against the counter opposite him, feeling as though if we moved one inch closer to one another my resolve would vanish and I would have him right there in the kitchen.

I
blushed and he grinned with satisfaction. “Do you know how rare it is to see a woman blush? It looks good on you. In fact, I’d like to see you in nothing else and right now.”

I brushed one hand against my cheek self-consciously. “I thought you had some wisdom to impart, not new pick up lines to try out.”

He smiled at me as though he could see right through my sarcasm and possibly my clothes. “First you have two options; from the moment the one-night stand ends you either cut that person out of your life completely or turn it into a friendship. In Bridle Springs there are observers always ready to leap to conclusions. So if, for example you used to hang out a little bit, talk on the phone, call that person BEFORE you even call 911,” he winked, “then people notice that you’re avoiding each other.”

He
walked away toward the stove and cut off the burner, then came a little closer as I casually moved away toward the island. He stopped and leaned back against the counter.

“
The solution is obviously to hang out like friends, sometimes alone, sometimes with others.”

“
I can live with that. What about jealousy?”

“
Is there a reason for jealousy?”

“
I’m not going to be jealous if you’re dating. Can you say the same?”