1982 (2 page)

iPhone

AIDS

Wikipedia

Radiohead

That’s a pretty heavy collection of post-’80s reality. Let me say this again. None of those words even existed in 1982, let alone the life-changing institutions behind them. But I have more:

same-sex marriage

Facebook

The Simpsons

debit cards

flat screens

Can you even remember a time before you were creeping photos of “hot” people on Facebook? Barely. Right? So maybe, as it turns out, the ’80s
were
more innocent. Or maybe they were just harder to endure, because you had to actually get up and walk over to a shelf and pick up a book and flip to the right page to get a good definition of “innocent” rather than Google it on your tablet. And, yes, clearly, there was a lot we didn’t have in 1982, including personal computers in our palms. But what we did have was New Wave. And New Wave music came from the UK. That meant it was already cool. And New Wave was exciting, and electronic, and serious, and futuristic, and cosmetic, and sometimes a bit dumb. And New Wave was effectively created by a guy named David Bowie.

You see, 1982 was also the year after Bowie released “Cat People” and the year before he released
Let’s Dance
. It was two years after his brilliant
Scary Monsters
album and two years before he put out
Tonight
. Some people would go on to say that
Tonight
was a less than spectacular effort for Bowie, or, more specifically, a “crap record.” But I’m one of the few people around that really appreciated
Tonight
. And I know all of this about Bowie because Bowie was my hero, my idol. In 1982, I wanted to be Bowie. And if I couldn’t be Bowie, I would try to come close. Bowie was cool. Everyone agreed. If I could be like Bowie, I would turn out okay.

My dear Iranian-Canadian parents didn’t really understand all of this. They were already pretty busy in damage control trying to explain that being from Iran didn’t mean we agreed with those hot-tempered bearded guys who took fifty-two Americans hostage in 1979. When Khomeini consolidated the revolution in the early ’80s, he really messed with those Persians in the diaspora still holding on to our “I love Iran!” T-shirts. So with this backdrop, my parents just wanted me to fit in. And in that quest, we were united. Except that for me, fitting in wasn’t really working. I needed to be cool to fit in. And being cool might mean makeup and pointy boots and Bowie. This was not exactly the conventional middle-class prescription from Tehran.

And so it turns out 1982 was a pivotal year in my life. Nineteen eighty-two was the year I became New Wave. In my goal to be like Bowie, I acquired the black clothing, the hair gel, and some of the attitude to fit in with the punks and New Wavers. Or at least, I came close by the end of the year. And it didn’t help that all the heroes in New Wave were white like Bowie—although I liked to imagine that Bowie had no race. He was too cool. And there were some cool black guys, like the ones in the English Beat or the enthusiastic bass player in Culture Club. He always wore a hat. They gave me hope.

But they weren’t Iranian. No one was ever Iranian. I was probably the first Persian-Canadian New Waver. Well, maybe I was the only Persian-Canadian New Waver. The point is, there may have been significant changes happening in the world, but I had a more targeted idea of what was essential. I knew what was real when I was fourteen. I have made a list of the most important things to me in 1982:

David Bowie

black pointy boots