186 Miles (7 page)

“Hi.” 
I snuggled back into him.

“I
wish I could stay today.”

He
had
to go.

“I
can if you
want
.  I don’t have to be to work until 8 tomorrow.  Besides,
it’s my last week.  I could be a little late tomorrow morning and stay again
tonight.”

“No,
you should go.”

Vince
sat up.  “You want me to
go
?”

“I
just mean that you have a lot of stuff to do this week.  Packing, for one.”

“I
can pack anytime I want.  I’m thinking about hiring movers anyway.  I hate that
shit.”  He nuzzled my ear with the tip of his nose.  “I want to spend every
second with you today… in… this… bed.”

“No,
sir.  I have to be a productive citizen.”  I got up and started to gather
laundry, lifting my hamper and heading downstairs.  “Need coffee.”

He
followed me down.  “I’ll help.”

“Vince,
it’s laundry.  I don’t need help.”

“Fine.” 
He turned on his laptop.  “Then I’ll look for a place this morning.”

I
put a load of whites in and pulled up a chair next to him at the dining room
table.  We flipped through apartment after apartment.  He wanted to be close to
me, so we tried to keep our search to the Village area.  We found a one bedroom
bungalow a block south of my favorite pub.  Vince called on it and we were able
to make an appointment for a viewing that afternoon.

Since
the weather was being agreeable, I decided to go to my garden.  I put on my
rubber boots and my canvas gloves.  I took my hedge shear and trowel and headed
outside for a little alone time until we met with the rental agent.

I
pulled a few weeds, but then just ended up sitting in the dirt, smoking a
cigarette that I had hidden in the coffee can.  I was thinking about, well,
everything.  Vince was moving here.  This was official.  If he didn’t like
this
place, he would just pick another.  This was happening. 
Was I ready?

*

The
house was nice.  It was spacious enough and had hardwood floors throughout.  A
lot of light.  A little fence.  Vince seemed to like it enough.  “What do you
think, babe?”

“It’s
nice.”  It wasn’t
my
house.

“Yeah? 
I don’t want to move anywhere that you don’t like.”

“I
don’t have to
live
here.”

“But
I assume you’ll be coming over, right?” 

“Yeah.” 
I paused.  “No, it’s fine.”

He
walked me away from the agent.  “What’s going on with you?  Do you not like it?”

“I
said it’s
fine
.”

“Bullshit. 
What’s the matter?”

I
wish you would live with me.

“I
like it, actually.  Nice light.  Flowers.”

“You
are so full of it.  Out with it, Stephens.”

“Honestly...” 
I rubbed his arm.  “It’s great.”

“It
would be better if I lived with
you
.  Are you sure about this?  We could
say fuck all and just move in together.”  He was whispering now.

Could
we?

“No,
this is good.  It’s nice and really close to my house.”

He
turned back to the agent.  “My girlfriend likes it.”  I rolled my eyes. 
Seriously?
 
“I’ll take it.”

When
we got back to my place, Vince was quiet.  He packed his bag of toiletries. 
“Do you think I could just leave my clothes here?  Less stuff to pack.”

The
rental wouldn’t be ready for another three weeks.  We would be living together
in my place for two of them.  I knew that it was a possibility that he would
have to live with me for a while, but I was nervous. 

A
lot could
happen
in two weeks.  I had to make myself less available.  Go
out with friends.  Work overtime.  I didn’t want to seem like I needed him.

“It’s
fine.  I’ll wash them and put them in your closet.”

“Ooh,
I get my own closet?”

“Yeah,
in the spare room.”

He
stared at me.  “Seriously?”

“I
can’t just play
house
with you for two weeks.  I told you that we will
work on
this
.”  I began to fold some towels.  “I just can’t
sleep
with you.  When I do, I lose focus.”

“You’re
cute.”

I
put down the towel and faced him.  I lowered my voice.  “Please, Vince, listen
to me.  I know you think I’m being funny, but honestly, I’m not.  I
mean
this.  I need for you to sleep over
there
.”  I pointed at the other
bedroom.  “Just while you are living here.  Let’s just see
what happens. 
Can you not try to sleep with me for two weeks?”  I was being petulant.

“Yes. 
I will sleep over there.  I will behave.  I’m not going hide my feelings from
you though.  I’m not
that
guy.”

“Can
you at least be
that
guy in front of my friends?  I don’t want them to
worry about me.”

“Yep. 
I can be whatever you want… but only for a while, Rachel.”

*

Five
days was an eternity.  An
actual
eternity.  Besides a few text messages,
Vince and I had not communicated for the most part.  He kept his distance.  He
gave me space.  I missed him
more
.

Today
was his last day in Chicago.  He would be here within the hour.  Apart from one
suitcase, his apartment was being packed up and transported by a moving company
on the first day of his lease.

This
was the start of our two weeks together.  In
my
house.  I was manic.  I
cleaned for two days.  I bought new sheets for his bed.  I vacuumed the
curtains. 
Who vacuums the curtains?

I
was a mess.

He
pulled up a little after 9, letting himself in with the key I had given him the
weekend before. 

“Rachel!” 

“Hey.” 
I breezed down the stairs, trying to act nonchalant.  I was failing miserably.

He
practically ran to me.  Like
ran
.  He squeezed me tight, burying his
face in my neck.  “God, I missed you.  I wanted to call you a hundred times.”

I
patted him on the back twice, trying to keep it casual.  “Me too.” 
Ugh, a
little too casual.  I may as well have said “you find the place alright?”

“We
have the whole weekend to hang out.  Bob doesn’t need me in until Monday, so…
what should we do?”

“Actually,
Carrie and I are going to Lauren’s for a party.”

“Oh.” 
He looked crushed.  “What time?”

“She
should be here any minute.  I would ask you to go, but it’s just girls.”

“A
party with just
girls
?”

“It’s
one of those stupid Love Passion parties.  You know, with the edible underwear
and all that crap.”

A
smile crept up his face.  “Huh.  Okay.”  He leaned in and whispered, “Red is my
favorite color.”

The
doorbell rang. 
Fuck
.

He
walked to the refrigerator.  “Mind if I take a beer?”

I
shook my head and opened the door to Carrie.  “You ready to get your slut on?” 
She looked over at Vince.  “Heyyyy… didn’t see you there.  She’s not
really
a slut, Vince.”

He
popped the bottle open.  “Go get your slut on, girls.”

I
groaned. 

Carrie
headed for the door.  “See ya, Vinnie.”

“Bye,
Miss Carrie.” 

I
turned to him.  “Bye.”

“Be
careful.  Come home soon.”

I
closed the door.

“Be
careful?  Come home soon?  You are seriously fucking that guy, right?”  Carrie
reached in her giant bag for her keys.  “He totally wants in your lady parts.”

“Get
in the car, Carrie.”

She
made a crude gesture with her hands.

Seriously,
where did I find my friends?

She
sat in the front seat and studied me.  “For real, though.  What’s going on with
you guys?” 

“I
don’t know.  It’s all a mess.”  I looked out the window.

“He
moved here for
you
. 
Something
is up.”

“He
didn’t move here for
me
.  He got a job here.”

“Uh
huh.”

“I
mean it… just stop.  I feel bad enough as it is.”

“Why? 
Because of Ryan?”  She leaned in.  “Honey, no one knows what you need more than
you do.  If you need Vince, fuckin’ do that.  Seriously, fuckin’
do
that.”  Another crude gesture.

I
paused.  “I already
did
that.”  I paused again.  “Three times.”

“Shut.
The. Fuck. Up. 
Please
tell me you are kidding me right now.”  She was
way
too excited.

“I
swear to God, if you tell anyone, I will end you.”  I poked a finger towards
her.  “I mean it… seriously.”

“Fine. 
Seriously, I know it’s sick, but I want details.  At the party, in those red
pants, he looked
all
man.  I wasn’t trying to look, but come on.”

“Really?”

“Kidding! 
But really, did you…?” she trailed off and made a vulgar choking gesture while
she attempted to deep-throat her own hand.

“I’m
going back in.”  I made for the door handle.

“Okay,
okay.  No more.”  She grinned and started the car.  “You did blow him though,
right?”

*

I
made it home a little after 1:00 am, lightly buzzed on pina coladas.  My lips still
mildly stung from the cherry flavored nipple gel.  Seriously, the hostess made
us put it on like lip gloss. 

To
get the whole experience!

I
crept up the stairs, trying to keep as quiet as I could.  The light was on my
bedroom.   “Vince?”

He
was curled up on Ryan’s side of the bed, clutching an open book, snoring
lightly.  I kicked off one of my heels, accidentally sending it flying into the
wall. 
Shit!
  I tried to steady myself and lightly took off the other
one, placing it on the floor of my closet.  I pulled my dress over my head and
hung it on a velvet hanger.

I
brushed my teeth and ran a quick makeup remover wipe over my face.

Opening
my lingerie drawer, I selected a red, sheer baby doll nightie.  It had a
matching thong. 
Eh, what the hell.
  I pulled back the covers and
crawled in next to Vince.  I pulled the book out of his hands and placed it on my
bedside table, clicking off the light.

Sometime
in the middle of the night, he woke up.  “What do we have
here
?”

I
was half asleep.  “Hey…”

“Red? 
You buy this at the party?”  He fingered the material of my gown.

“No,
I
had
this.”

“It’s
nice.”

“Thanks,”
I murmured, turning towards him.

“Sorry. 
I fell asleep in here.  I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”

“I
got home around one.”  I put my hand to the front of his shirt.

“Alright,
well, I’ll go back to my room then.”  He pulled back the covers and leaned in,
whispering, “If you want me to
stay
in that room, don’t wear
that
.”

I
watched him get up and walk into the other room.  Close the door.  That was
it. 
Did I do something wrong?

*

The
next morning, I slept in late.  When I woke, Vince’s door was open and he was
gone.  His car was in the drive, but I didn’t see him anywhere.  My house was
far too small for a person to go missing.  He must have gone on foot.

About
a half hour later, he strolled in, carrying two paper cups.  He was wearing
running gear.  “Hey.  I got you a coffee.”

“You
went
running
?”

“Yep. 
I didn’t want to wake you.”

I
felt a knot in my throat.  It was irrational. 
When Ryan went running, he
never came home.

“You
alright?”  He set our cups down on the counter.

“Fine.” 
I walked away.  I
knew
I was being crazy.  He didn’t need to know why. 
“I may go back to bed.”

“You
just woke
up
.”  He paused.  “Sure you’re okay?”

I
needed to change the subject.  “You know, on second thought, I think I’ll walk
down to the market and get some pastries.”

“I
can go, babe.”

“Don’t
call me that.”  I was being rough.  He looked noticeably hurt.  He took his
coffee and started up the stairs.

“Vince,”
I called.  He stopped.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it.  I don’t know
what
is
going on with me.  Do you want me to get you one?”

“What
I want is for you to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“I
just had a stupid reaction.  You went running.”

“So
what?”

“Ryan
went running.”

He
came back down and stopped in front of me, placing his cup back on the counter. 
“I know I’m gross and sweaty, but…” He put his arms around me and pressed me
into his chest.  He kissed the top of my hair.

He
released me after a few seconds and cupped my face with his hands.  “I’m not
going anywhere.”  He started for the stairs.  “I’m taking a shower.  Then we’ll
walk down to that market together, okay?”

*

I
stood outside of the running water.  Vince was in there. 
Grow some balls,
Rachel!

Fuck
it.

I
stripped out of my red nightgown and shimmied out of my thong. 
Now or never
.

I
slowly pulled back the shower curtain and positioned myself behind him, placing
my hands on his hips.