Authors: Nova Ren Suma
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Runaways, #Horror & Ghost Stories, #Visionary & Metaphysical
the window. There are no shadows.
There are no voices. There is no flame-
haired visitor on the windowsill waving
an arm and giving the finger. There’s just
a perfectly normal girl with a boy in her
bed and a book on her lap and no hint of
what’s kept hidden away in her mind
where no one can see it. There’s a girl.
She’s 17, and she’s still here.
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AUTHOR’S NOTE
This novel evolved as I was writing, leading me to
discover what I was meant to be telling just as Lauren
discovers the truth of what she’s seeing amid the
scattered stories of the missing girls. So much of the
ultimate story for 17 & Gone stemmed from my own
research into experiences of teens living with mental
illness and the visions Lauren could be seeing and the
voices she could be hearing.
There is no single way to portray the symptoms or
experiences of a teenager facing early-onset
schizophrenia or any mental illness—and I can only
hope that my portrayal of Lauren’s story will come
across as distinct to her, and most of all respectful and
true.
If you are worried that you may have warning signs
or symptoms that might prove to be a mental health
problem, please consider reaching out and talking to
someone and getting help.
If you are thinking of running away or if you have
left home and don’t know how to go back, there are
resources that can help you and even assist in finding a
safe place for you to go.
He re are some re source s in the Unite d State s
that could be a life line whe n you ne e d one :
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
A national grassroots organization providing
resources for teenagers and adults affected by
mental illness. www.nami.org • Information
Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI.
National Runaway Switchboard
: A toll-free
number to call if you’re thinking of running
away from home, have run away and want to
go back home, or have a friend you want to
help. www.1800runaway.org • 24-hour Crisis
Line: 1-800-RUNAWAY.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Free
and confidential support for anyone facing a
suicidal
or
emotional
crisis.
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org • 24-hour
Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Safe Place:
A national youth outreach program
for teenagers and runaways who need a safe
place to go. nationalsafeplace.org • If you are in
trouble or need help, text SAFE and the location
where you are (street address/city/state) to
69866.
The Trevor Project:
A national crisis-
intervention and suicide-prevention organization
for LGBTQ youth. www.thetrevorproject.org •
Trevor Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I am in awe of my editor, Julie Strauss-Gabel. I truly
can’t fathom how she is able to see the story I am
trying to tell and know exactly how to coax it out of me
before I’m even able to articulate it myself. With every
round of revision, Julie puts me through the paces and
inspires me to dig deeper and fine-tune and be clearer
—and through all this hard work she helps me
transform my ideas into something to be proud of. My
writing is far better thanks to her extraordinary talent,
and I know for a fact that this book was able to
emerge into what it was meant to be thanks to her
passion, attention, and skill. I wouldn’t be the writer I
am today without her.
Throughout the doubts and struggles and ensuing
madness that was the writing of this book, I have been
grateful to have my fantastic, dedicated literary agent,
Michael Bourret, at my side. He is the calming magic
to my anxious frenzy, and has talked me through so
many dramatic moments that I’m pretty sure I’ve lost
count. I am so lucky to have him in my corner and
grateful for his energy, honesty, and wisdom. This is
only our second book together, and I hope it’s just the
beginning.
From what I said above, you may have guessed
that this book was not easy for me to write. I look
back and it seems like I was working on it—or trying
to—constantly, in multiple locations, throughout the
past two years. This book was written and revised in
numerous significant places that all seem connected to
the story in personal ways maybe only I can see: The
very first words of the very first draft were written at
Yaddo (thank you, Yaddo staff and my fellow Yaddo-
mates, especially in West House, where we sometimes
shared a muse). A significant part of the first draft
was written at the MacDowell Colony, in Omicron
(thank you, MacDowell staff and my fellow colonists).
This book was continued in secret writing bunkers at
undisclosed locations and revised and revised and
revised back in New York City, and could not have
been finished without the space I found at the Writers
Room, Think Coffee, the Housing Works Used
Bookstore and Café, and other writing cafés scattered
throughout the Village. Thank you to each of these
places for putting up with me and letting me sit for
hours upon hours at your tables.
I am so grateful to Libba Bray for her belief in me,
her inspiration, and her guidance, and I am beyond
honored to have the words of an author I admire so
much on my book cover. I am still pinching myself that
she liked this book.
I am floored by the generosity of Courtney
Summers, who was there for me at so many moments
during the writing of these drafts, and whose advice
and support helped me make it to this point. I only hope
I can do the same for her.
Thank you, Penguin and Dystel & Goderich
Literary Management, for all you’ve done for my
books. I’ve been honored to be able to work with such
dedicated, passionate people, including Liza Kaplan,
Lauren Abramo, Steve Meltzer, Rosanne Lauer,
Elizabeth Zajac, Anna Jarzab, Emilie Bandy, Marie
Kent, Danielle Delaney, and each and every person
who touched my books in one way or another. As
someone who used to work in publishing, I know how
easy it is to feel unappreciated and crushed under the
deadlines, and I hope they know that this author is
astoundingly grateful.
I am also ever thankful for the support from the
fellow writers in my life, and especially want to
mention those who made an impact while I was writing
this particular book: David Adjmi, Tara Altebrando,
Joëlle Anthony, Bryan Bliss, Rachel Cantor, Cat
Clarke, Camille DeAngelis, Gordon Dahlquist, Gayle
Forman, Adele Griffin, Michelle Hodkin, Stephanie
Kuehnert, Nina LaCour, Molly O’Neill, Sigrid Nunez,
Laurel Snyder, Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan, McCormick
Templeman, Lorin Wertheimer, and Christine Lee
Zilka. And last but absolutely not least, Micol Ostow,
who has been such a huge support to me, since before
I even found YA fiction, that I will endlessly thank her
in every set of book acknowledgments I write. Thank
you also to my extended family and other mothers,
especially Ethel Wesdorp, for her enthusiasm and
willingness to go to so many of my book events.
And to my blog readers at distraction99.com: Your
support over the years as I went from a struggling
writer of literary fiction for adults to finding my place
here as a YA author has meant the world to me.
Thank you for reading and cheering me on along the
way.
My family is small, but so very supportive. My
brother, Joshua Suma, never wavers in his belief in me.
And my sister, Laurel Rose Purdy, has been there for
me through every low point, and to celebrate every
high point, and I can’t imagine my life without her.
My mom, Arlene Seymour, went above and beyond
when it came to this manuscript. Due to her own work
with MICA (mentally ill and chemically dependent)
clients at her clinic, as well as with schizophrenics
using art therapy, she became an essential resource
during the writing and research of this novel. She was
beyond generous with her time and attention in reading
this book, and helped steer me in the right direction
when it came to writing from Lauren’s perspective.
My mom is a true inspiration to me, a phenomenal
woman who I know has changed the lives of many, not
to mention her own, when she went back to school
when I myself was in college. She was always there
for me, while I was a teenager, and through to today.
It’s not an exaggeration to say I would be nowhere
without her.
My other half, Erik Ryerson, who I’ve been with
since I was eighteen, can surely see parts of himself in
Jamie. I don’t want to embarrass him by singing his
praises (too much), but he really gave his all for this
novel: He is the first reader for every single draft I
write, even if that means staying up until five in the
morning before one of my deadlines to do so, and it is
thanks to his inspiration, his imagination, his sacrifice,
and his belief in my writing that this book even exists at
all.
Also by Nova Ren Suma
IMAGINARY GIRLS