150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (8 page)

Sir Nayland Smith (Stone) and an international group of archaeologists led by Professor Von Berg (Hersholt) square off against evil genius Fu Manchu (Karloff) and his diabolical daughter Fah Lo See (Loy) in an effort to stop Fu Manchu's latest scheme to conquer the world.

Why It Sucks

Despite the fact that this is one of the best cinematic uses of Sax Rohmer's characters, it's marred by incredible racism. Even in 1932 this was pretty over the top, and by today's hypersensitive standards it makes this a very hard film to watch. This is despite the mix of weird science, bizarre torture-traps, supernatural hokum, savage natives lusting for a white girl to be sacrificed to dark gods, and, of course, Fu Manchu being thwarted with his own superweapon on the edge of his victory.

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The Crappies

The Worst Makeup Award goes to …
Boris Karloff's Fu Manchu makeup. Apparently, the director and producer wanted to make so sure that we understood the Asians are
alien
that they made him look like a Martian.

And the Worst Actor Award goes to …
Charles Starrett for portraying a macho hero so dull that it's impossible to understand why Fah Lo See, Fu Manchu's sadistic daughter, doesn't get tired of him. Maybe horniness trumps boredom.

They Really Said It!

Fah Lo See:
He is not entirely unhandsome, is he, my father?
Fu Manchu:
For a white man, no.

Betcha Didn't Know

Although best remembered for playing witty high-society women like Nora Charles in the Thin Man series, Myrna Loy spent her early career playing exotic femmes fatales. Fah Lo See in this movie was her final turn as a villainous female.

During the 1940s, Boris Karloff brought another fictional Chinese character from the printed page to the silver screen, the San Francisco-born detective James Lee Wong.

Trivia Quiz

Which of these actors has
not
played Fu Manchu on film?

A: Peter Sellers

B: Nicholas Cage

C: James Wong

D: Christopher Lee

Answer: C. James Wong, the only Asian actor on the list.

PRODUCERS
Sidney Beckerman (executive producer), Barry Beckerman and Buzz Feitshans (producers)

WRITERS
Kevin Reynolds (story), Kevin Reynolds and John Milius (script)

DIRECTOR
John Milius

STARS
Patrick Swayze (
Jed
), Charlie Sheen (
Matt
), C. Thomas Howell (
Robert
), Jennifer Grey (Toni), Lea Thompson (
Erica
), Darren Dalton
(Daryl
), Harry Dean Stanton (
Mr. Eckert
), and Powers Boothe (
Col. Andy
Tanner
)

A group of teens band together to fight the Russian and Cuban troops who have occupied their small town as the United States is invaded during World War III.

Why It Sucks

This movie is a survivalists' wet dream. It's not the big armies that matter in a Cold War conflict between the Soviets and the United States. It's a bunch of armed high-school students in Colorado. Even accepting the film as a product of its time, this is the kind of movie that you enjoy if you're holed up in a compound on a mountaintop in Idaho, waiting to fend off the agents of the New World Order.

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The Crappies

The Worst Picture Award goes to …
Barry Beckerman and Buzz Feitshans for a film so essentially silly that today it looks like something dragged out of a time capsule.

And the Worst Picture Award goes to …
Lea Thompson for a playing a quintessential thick-skulled, nonessential female — which probably says something about the filmmakers' attitudes toward women in general.

They Really Said It!

Erica
: You American?

Col. Andy Tanner
: Red-blooded.

Erica
: What's the capital of Texas.

Col. Andy Tanner
: Austin

Erica
: Wrong, Commie! It's Houston!

Betcha Didn't Know

This was Charlie Sheen's first screen appearance, and the first major film role for Jennifer Grey.

This was the first film released with a PG-13 rating.

Trivia Quiz

What real-world documents inspired the storyline of the film, according to John Milius?

A: Speeches by President Ronald Reagan

B: Memoirs of French and Danish WWII freedom fighters

C: A report by the CIA and Army War College

D: The writings of Nostradamus

Answer: C. A report by the CIA and Army War College. In the early 1980s, the CIA and the Army War College released a study that described a possible invasion through Mexico by Soviet and Cuban troops.

PRODUCER
Ben Pivar

WRITERS
Harold Buchman and Lee Loeb (script), Sherman L. Lowe and Al Martin (story)

DIRECTOR
Del Lord

STARS
Mary Astor (
Roberta “Bobby” Blake
), Nat Pendleton (
Rocky
O'Neil
), Lyle Talbot (
Fred Dennis
), Joyce Compton (
Mae Collins
), Robert Strange (
Standish
), Thurston Hall (
John Curtis
), Henry Mollison (
Thornton
), and Wyrley Birch (
Paul Turner
)

A tech-loving bill collector (Pendleton) decides to help an inventor (Talbot) promote the perfect television broadcasting/receiving device. Unfortunately, a group of violent techno-thieves are scheming to sell another type of television system, and they won't allow our hero and his roguish helpers to spoil their payday.

Why It Sucks

I suppose when television was new, some executive thought this was a great idea. Now, when my cellphone can handle what the broadcast camera in the film does, the movie is hopelessly dated.

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