14 Flipping Out - My Sister the Vampire (11 page)

When the door opened, though, it wasn’t Ivy who stood there. It was Lillian.

‘Olivia!’ Lillian smiled warmly. ‘How are you?’

‘Oh . . . um . . . fine,’ Olivia mumbled. She’d been working so hard to prepare herself for a heart-to-heart with Ivy, it was a shock to see anyone different. She craned her
neck to look past their stepmom. ‘Is Ivy here?’

‘No, she’s gone to the dentist for an emergency touch-up.’

‘What?’ Olivia’s gaze flashed back up in surprise. ‘At this time of day?’

Lillian gave a wink. ‘Not a
regular
dentist. You know how it is.’

‘Ohhhh. Of course.’ Olivia forced a laugh, as embarrassment crashed down on her. ‘I should have known.’

The truth was, she
didn’t
know how it was. She’d never minded being the only non-vampire when she was with Ivy and their dad. But somehow, it felt worse to be out of the
loop when she was around her elegant new vampire stepmom.

‘Why don’t you come in and wait for her?’ Lillian stepped back to let her in.

‘OK. Thanks.’ Olivia drew a deep breath and followed Lillian into the kitchen, her thoughts whirling. If Ivy wasn’t here, who could she talk to about her plans for
‘Famelia’?

What about my bio-dad?

Of course! Charles Vega would definitely know how to resolve a star-crossed love affair – because he’d had the
ultimate
impossible romance with their mom!

‘Is Dad here?’ she asked.

‘Oh, I’m afraid he’s out running some errands.’ Lillian reached into the refrigerator and took out the juice that was always kept stocked there for Olivia’s
visits.

‘Oh.’ Olivia slumped.

Lillian raised her eyebrows comically. ‘Don’t look so disappointed,’ she said, faking outrage.

‘Sorry,’ said Olivia, laughing with her. ‘I’ve just got some stuff on my mind.’

‘Anything I can help with?’ Lillian asked.

Olivia thought for a split-second of a split-second. How could she not have realised before? Lillian had worked in movies for decades. She was the
perfect
person to help navigate the
story of ‘Famelia’!

As the two of them snacked on tortilla chips and salsa, Olivia gave her stepmom all the details. Luckily, Lillian was already fluent in Camillaese, so it was easy to sum up what had already
happened. ‘I think they’re just about halfway through their Act Two,’ Olivia finished, ‘but they’re still not together. What can I do?’

‘Well . . .’ Tapping her chip on her plate, Lillian looked pensive. ‘There are
always
obstacles in every rom-com, you know. If the “meet-cute” didn’t
work, maybe what they need now is to be shown the “awful alternatives”. You know, that moment in movies and TV when the hero and heroine go on dates with really
horrible
people. It helps them realise who they really love.’

‘Hmm.’ Olivia crunched her chip thoughtfully. ‘I think that actually might work . . . and that way, no one needs to get a lecture from the principal! Thank you!’

I have such a cool stepmom
, she realised.

I
vy grimaced as she stepped back into the Slice of Life pizza parlour and saw a life-size plastic cockroach in the corner, near a mouldy-looking
smear of old tomato sauce.

I know they have to make this place look gross
, she thought.
But did they have to do such a good job of it?
Her mouth tasted funny enough from the procedure she’d just
undergone downstairs, without adding so many other horrible flavours to the air!

To all the bunnies of Franklin Grove, the Slice of Life was known as the nastiest pizza parlour in the universe. None of them could understand how it had stayed in business for so long

Only the vampires knew the truth: that the Slice of Life’s disgusting appearance was exactly what made it the perfect base for Dr Pane Lee, the town’s resident vampire dentist. Dr
Lee kept his practice in the basement, and the vampires of Franklin Grove went in and out freely throughout the night, pretending to be visiting the twenty-four-hour pizza parlour.

I almost wish I had been
, Ivy thought glumly. Sure, the Slice of Life looked awful. But could eating mouldy pizza really be that much worse than having her super-long fangs filed with
Dr Lee’s ‘special machine’, the one he only reserved for really drastic cases? She shuddered at the memory of the grinding noise it had made, rattling through her bones.

Worse yet, the polish he’d added at the end tasted of
pink bubblegum
 
. Talk about a bunny flavour!

Hunching her shoulders, Ivy ran her tongue over her newly-short fangs and fought the urge to gag at the taste as it mingled with the disgusting smells of the pizza parlour.
It’s
definitely time to get back outside!

Ignoring the cobwebs and fake roaches that cluttered the corners, Ivy walked past the dustcovered service counter where Rachel, the ‘manageress’ of the Slice of Life – who was
actually Dr Lee’s receptionist – was pretending to read a sauce-spattered magazine.

Cobwebs trailed off Rachel’s dirty cap, which was topped by a plastic spider, and a smear of red – which Ivy’s sensitive nose identified as paint rather than real pizza sauce
– spread all the way across her cheek. As Ivy passed, Rachel looked up just long enough to give a secret nod . . . before ticking off a note in the patient book that was hidden inside the
magazine.

Nodding back, Ivy held her breath and picked her way across the spills of dried cheese that covered the floor. It was a huge relief to reach the doorway. On the threshold, she started to turn
back to wave goodbye to Rachel . . .

And then the unthinkable happened. From the corner of her eye she saw a hand . . . a hand reaching for the door.

Reaching for the door to the Slice of Life? I must be seeing things!

Ivy squeezed her eyes shut. Then she opened them, blinking hard . . . and saw the door being pulled all the way open.

She spun around.
Oh, no!

It was an older boy – a high school senior, judging by his appearance, but she’d never seen him before.
He must go to Willowton
, she realised.
But what is he thinking,
for darkness’ sake? Are they even crazier at Willowton than at Franklin Grove? No one in their right mind would ever try to eat here! It has been designed specially, to repel all
non-vamps!

But the boy wasn’t alone. He had run ahead to hold the door open for a whole group of his friends, who were all talking and laughing as they hurried down the street towards him . . . and
even though he raised his eyebrows as he peered inside, he didn’t turn away. Instead, he called to his friends.

‘Come on. It doesn’t look all that bad. We might as well give it a try.’

Ivy squared her shoulders.
I can’t let this happen!

Every vampire in Franklin Grove knew that they had a duty to keep bunnies out of the Slice of Life, to keep them from seeing or hearing something they shouldn’t . . . Last summer, Ivy and
Brendan had started an impromptu ‘Ketchup War’ in the street to scare off a bunny couple who looked like they might give it a try. It had actually been fun – until Rachel asked
them to help clean up!

Ivy spun around and yelled at Rachel: ‘That food was
disgusting
 
! How dare you try to charge me for something that had bugs in it?’

The boy holding the door stepped back. Ivy heard his friends’ footsteps slowing. Someone halfway down the street whispered, ‘Did she just say
bugs
 
?’

Rachel yelled back, ‘Oh, come on, at least most of the bugs on your pizza were dead.’

‘Some of them were still moving!’ Ivy declared. ‘In my mouth!’

The boy let go of the door, swallowing visibly. Ivy lifted her chin. ‘This is a scandal. I’m not paying you. I’m reporting you to the health board! Just as soon as I . . . as I
. . .’

She clapped her hand to her mouth. Bending over, she forced her shoulders to heave.

Running footsteps sounded down the street outside as the boy and his friends fled at top speed.

Behind the counter, Rachel chuckled. ‘Well done,’ she said. ‘Are you sure it’s your sister who’s the actress in the family?’

Ivy snorted as she straightened up. ‘Positive.’

Shaking her head, she walked outside and took a deep breath of the clean air. Her mouth was still tingling, but at least she could breathe now. She just wished she could erase her memories of
the last half hour as easily as she’d gotten rid of those would-be pizza customers.

Sure, she’d had some bad dental procedures in the past . . . but Dr Lee had never before had to kneel on the armrest just to file down her fangs, much less take out his ‘special
machine’! And the lecture he’d given her afterwards had made her feel even worse. She frowned, kicking at the pavement as she remembered how angry he’d been at her for waiting too
long between filings.

‘This isn’t just a matter of personal comfort, young lady. It’s about protecting the secrets of the whole vampire race!’

‘Stupid high school,’ she muttered now. If it hadn’t been for how crazy her stupid popularity was making her, she would never have let it go for this long . . .

Nice try, Ivy
 
. She sighed, giving up. Even to herself, she couldn’t pretend that it was anyone’s fault but her own. Keeping her fangs filed was
basic vampire concealment strategy, and it had to take priority over everything else. No matter what was going on at school, she should never have neglected it.

The whole thing felt so depressing that for once, Ivy couldn’t even bring herself to feel hungry for dinner. She’d already arranged to meet Brendan at the Meat and Greet, though, so
she trudged through the dark street towards the brightly lit diner, trying to ignore the sickly sweet taste left in her mouth by the tooth filing.

Brendan was waiting for her at one of the booths in the back, along with two steaming-hot, rare burgers. ‘Well, look at that.’ He grinned as he pulled open her mouth to peer
dramatically at her teeth. ‘No more horror movie material!’

‘Get off
 
!’ Laughing, Ivy pushed his hand away and settled in next to him, ignoring her waiting burger. ‘I don’t want to even think about
teeth for at least a month.’

‘Really, it’s too bad.’ As Brendan picked up his own burger, he gave a mock sigh. ‘I’m going to miss those fangs. You’re so beautiful when you’re
scary.’

‘Why does everyone at school seem to think that?’ Ivy groaned and dropped her head on to the table beside her plate. ‘I’ve been doing my scariest “Leave Me
Alone” act all week, and it’s just not working! I don’t know what else to try.’

‘Well . . .’ Brendan’s tone turned wary. ‘I think I might know what’s wrong.’

‘Yeah?’ Ivy turned her head to glance up at him.

Brendan took a deep breath. ‘I think your heart’s not really in it.’

‘
What?
’ Ivy jerked upright. ‘What are you talking about? You
know
I hate this popularity trap!’

‘But think about what you’re doing to escape it. Snubbing people? Making fun of others?’ Brendan’s tone was gentle as he reached out to put one hand on top of hers.
‘Come on, Ivy. Yes, you’re a loner – and yeah, you take things pretty seriously – but you’ve never been
mean
before.’

Ivy swallowed hard, staring down at her burger as guilt clenched her chest. ‘I’m not sure about that,’ she mumbled. ‘I’ve been known to be pretty grumpy.’

‘Maybe so,’ Brendan said, ‘but you’re not acting like yourself. That’s why you’ve been so unhappy.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘The truth is,
you’re the
anti
-mean. Deliberately hurting other people’s feelings . . . that’s just not in your nature.’

He waited a moment, but Ivy couldn’t answer. She was fighting too hard against the sudden knot in her chest . . . the one that said he was right.

‘That whole scene at lunch where you made fun of that poor girl’s T-shirt?’ Brendan’s voice was soft, but inescapable. ‘I’ve never seen you mock anyone to
their face before. That’s not you. Is it?’

‘No,’ Ivy whispered. Her throat clenched. She turned her hand over to lace her fingers through his. ‘It’s not,’ she agreed. ‘But I don’t know what else
to do. All I want is to be left in peace! I want to be allowed to hang out with my own twin without half the school trying to get in between us.’

‘Trust me,’ Brendan said. ‘Everything will work out if you just
stop pretending
 
.’

Pretending
. . . Ivy froze as she connected the dots. Hadn’t she told Penny the same thing? Penny was working so hard to pretend to be another person, it was making her miserable.
And Ivy had been doing just the same, without even realising it. In fact . . .

She winced. This morning in the courtyard, when they’d been with all the other goths, she had actually been . . . kind-of-sort-of-a-little-bit . . .
making
Penny pretend even more
than she already had been.

Ouch
 
. She sighed.
I can’t do this any more – not to Penny or myself.