120 days... (34 page)

Ethan cleared his throat. “No, no, I think it’s perfect. Absolutely perfect, just like you.”

“I’m far from perfect. Now since that’s decided on. We need to come up with a middle name.” She tapped her lips with a finger thinking. “Well, I came up with the first name, how about you figure out the middle name?”

“Sounds good. And the last name?”

“McGregor of course.”

“But what about your last name?”

With a quick intake of breath, her stomach dropped. Her mind whirled with exactly what he was asking her. She didn’t want to assume marriage and make a fool of herself. “What exactly do you mean?”

“I know this isn’t the perfect situation, and if I had my way, I’d plan the most romantic evening and ask you, but we can’t do that right now. So instead . . .” He stood up and walked around to her side of the bed and got down on one knee. Picking up her hand, he said, “Samantha Rose Truman, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

The words stuck in her throat; she didn’t know what to say. Almost every girl dreamed about this day, and there it was, the man of her dreams down on one knee in front of her, their child growing inside of her. Along with the cancer.

“Why now?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to rush you, or make you think the only reason I was asking you was because you are pregnant with my child. I wanted you to know deep down in your heart that I love you, no questions, no stipulations, and no guarantees.”

“I do know that, but can you listen to me?” She winced at the pain that showed in his eyes.

“You don’t want to marry me?”

“No, no, Ethan, please that isn’t it at all. Under any other circumstances, I’d be jumping in your arms kissing you, but with this situation you have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not going to marry you just to die. So I’m asking you to wait for me. Wait until after the baby is born, after I’m out of the hospital.”

“I know what’s behind this and dammit, we’ve been through this. You aren’t going to die.”

“You know it isn’t in my plan to die. But look at me, I’m not at my best right now. Let me focus on the rest of this pregnancy, and
then
we’ll get married.”

“It’s not in
either
of our plans, but that isn’t why I want to get married right now. I want to get married right now because I love you and I don’t want to miss out on one more moment without you being my wife. If we end up married for one day or fifty years, it doesn’t matter to me. You are what matters.”

“What about ‘in sickness and health,’ Ethan? We’ve had so little health. I’m not going to have our marriage all about the sickness.”

“You don’t get to decide for me what and when I can deal with all this shit. What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? It’s not going to change if we get married. I need you to know how committed to you I am. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know you’re not going anywhere. I know you are committed to me, to us.” She placed her hand on her belly. “If that were the case, you would have left a long time ago.” Sam’s eyes filled with tears. “Ethan, I didn’t know a love like ours existed before you walked into my life, and now I can’t see what it would be like if you weren’t in mine anymore.” She smiled at him. “Any other time I’d already be planning our wedding, but right now, I don’t think I can handle much more. But, what we can do is go and get our marriage license and I promise, once we have everything ready for Jennie, then we’ll start planning our simple wedding.”

“There’s no changing your mind?”

“I’m a woman.” She smiled at him. “There’s always a chance for me to change my mind.”

“It’s always good to have hope.”

She watched at Ethan stood up and walked around to his side of the bed and climbed in after he turned the light off. He slid in behind her and wrapped his arms around her like he did every night and she relaxed into him. Hope, hope was good.

Day 80

Ethan–

We are making your brother as comfortable as possible. I am continuing to make the daily entry for him. He took a turn for the worse in the middle of the night. I’m sorry, but it’s only a matter of time now. I want you to know I will stay with him until the end. I won’t leave his side.

Samantha

“Well, Samantha, your baby is doing remarkably well. You, on the other hand, are not,” the doctor said. Her normal doctor was on vacation so they had to see someone else.

“I feel fine, well, as fine as I can.”

“You’re lying to yourself. Luckily your child is very healthy, the odds of her surviving are good, but yours aren’t so good.”

“Wait a minute.” Ethan’s voice was hard. “Don’t you talk to her like that. We’ve been doing everything possible to make sure both she and the baby are fine. We don’t need some wet-behind-the-ears newbie telling her she’s not going to make it.”

“Ethan!” Sam said.

“No, I’m not going to stop.” His voice was loud. “Do you know who you are talking to? Samantha Truman, she runs Last Resort. You know that place up in the hills where everyone goes when the doctors have given up on them and said they were going to die within weeks. Do you know what she does? She gives them time. More time than any stinking doctor did. She makes it possible to live their last days with hope and laughter and dignity. Something
you
need to learn how to do. I don’t care what you think. I know if anyone can prove you wrong it’s her. We’ll be back here after she’s given birth just to show you how wrong you are. Come on, we’re leaving.” Ethan went over and carefully helped Sam off the exam table. “We’ll be back when you’re gone.”

They stopped at the desk to make their next appointment. Sam’s regular doctor was back the following week, which made Ethan happy. He was still fuming at the audacity of that young punk. What did that kid know, hell, he looked like he should still be in high school.

“Ethan . . . Ethan, slow down.”

Sam’s breathless voice came from behind him and he stopped looking back. “Sorry, that guy just pissed me off.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that. You can’t get angry at him. It’s all he knows.”

“He should be open to other options. If he’d even read your file, he’d know what he was dealing with, who he was dealing with. I can’t wait to go back there after Jennie is born.” He opened the door for her, helped her into the SUV then took a few deep breaths to calm down before he slid behind the wheel.

“You know we’re going to have to prepare for the worst,” she said softly.

“No, don’t you start thinking that way. We know that positive thoughts and prayers are the way to go. Everyone has proven it works.”

“It only works for so long, Ethan, before the cancer is too much.”

“You’re going to be different. We have this all planned out. Jennie will be born and they’ll get all of the cancer out. After you recover, you’ll be fine.”

“But I might not be.” Her voice shook with emotion. “You have to know I will do whatever it takes to survive. If I have to tell God to go away, that I’m not ready to die like my dad did, to buy me some more time with you and Jennie, I will, but it’s not up to me. We have to be ready for everything.”

Ethan started the engine with a roar. “
You
be ready for every outcome. The only one I know of is where you both survive and we have our happy ever after.”

For the rest of the day Ethan kept his anger at bay, even when they were in the office and Sam seemed to be provoking him on purpose. Always going against what he thought was going to be the best for the resort. She kept at him until it was time to take her home for her afternoon nap. Every day she seemed to spend less and less time in the office or with the guests, and it was slowly killing him.

Since Ethan needed something physical to help release the tension that flowed through his body, he changed into a pair of shorts, grabbed some earbuds and once again, like he had so many months ago, cranked Metallica as he ran up and over the hills throughout the resort. But that time it wasn’t from the grief of losing his brother. Instead, he was running from the fact that he may lose the woman he loved, and possibly their child.

When Ethan got back to the office he picked up the phone and called his old friend, Peter.

Day 81

Ethan–

Evan has been in and out of it all day long. He was able to tell me a couple of stories about the two of you growing up. It sounds like you were close.

He’s a fighter. He’s been fighting with everything he had, every single day he has been here.

Samantha