12 Borrowing Trouble (25 page)

Carrie
prayed, but she had never been a good church-going woman.  With the chores she’d have ahead of her running a ranch alone that probably wouldn’t change.  But her son was going to be in that pew her parents formerly occupied every Wednesday and Sunday, even if she wasn’t.  Maybe her tough love, bible thumping father had the right idea.  She was going to find out, because that was exactly how she was going to deal with her son from here on out. 

And he was going to like it.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Dylan was thankful when the ibuprofen Terri had given him kicked in.  The ice pack on his shoulder was helping too.  Terri had checked out his shoulder and didn’t think he needed to go to the emergency room.  The relief he felt at hearing those words almost took him to his knees.  The injury he’d gotten from stupidly letting the kid run that machine, for showing off for him, wasn’t going to delay his leaving.

But the medicine and the ice pack didn’t help the pain in his chest he’d been having for three weeks.  That pain
only got worse when the doctor handed him the white slip of paper a few days ago, which gave him clearance to go back to work.  Back to riding again.  The elation and freedom he expected to feel never came, but the regrets sure did.

He had already spoken to Joel
the afternoon he got his clearance to tell him he was leaving.  That meeting had been angry and emotional, something Dylan never wanted to have to repeat again.  He was leaving Monday morning.  A friend had found him a job as a chute man, and he was catching up with the guys in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.  It was with a smaller circuit, but at least it was a job associated with the rodeo.  One he could do until he could ride again next season. 

That’s why he had been spending time with Izzy and Chris.  Saying goodbye to them.  Carrie had been last on his list,
his hardest goodbye, but he hadn’t gotten to talk to her yet. He had a present for her too, but he didn’t know if he’d ever have the opportunity to give it to her. Even if he did, she’d probably throw it in his face now.

She was pissed at him for avoiding her, and she had every right to be. 

But Dylan had no choice about it.  Chris had been withholding information from her that he would have been too tempted to tell her.  Obligation to do just that had been sitting on his chest like a lead weight for the entire time he’d been avoiding her.  He’d tried to give the envelope he had for her at the house, and she’d kicked him out of the kitchen, because like a dumbass he’d asked her if she was pregnant first, instead of talking to her first. 

He’d just been too damned nervous, and asked the question that had been riding his shoulder since they made love at his trailer.
  Her answer would have changed his decision to leave.  Would have changed his life.  But she wasn’t pregnant, Dylan was not going to be a father, he was going back to his old life.  He had tried to find happiness about that since she told him, relief, but all he had been able to find was a little disappointment. 

That shocked him to his core.
  But then Dylan realized with the poor ass way he’d handled the situation with Chris, withholding information from his mother, he would be a terrible father anyway.  God knew what he was doing there.

When
Carrie came out to the barn this afternoon, he thought he might have his chance to talk to her, but then all hell had broken loose with the accident and then Zane and his visitors.  And then she took off after Chris.

The best he was going to be able to do was write her a note, and give it to Terri for her.
  That would probably make her angrier too, because it was cold and impersonal.  But if she wouldn’t let him near her, what else was he supposed to do?

Stay and marry her
. 

Dylan’s stomach seesawed, and he swallowed hard.  No, he was definitely not going there. 
He didn’t know the first thing about love and marriage or parenting.  He would fuck up and hurt them all.  He’d already done that with her.  It would only get worse if he stayed.  They would all be better off without him trying to insinuate himself into their lives.  He wanted to be with her like no other woman he’d ever been with before. 

Something magical happened inside of him when he was with her.  He was a better person.  But the baggage and responsibility that came with her was heavy. 
She would find a man one day who was equipped to help her unpack that baggage.  Dylan was not that man.

He hoped she found a way to get through to Chris.  When she found him this afternoon, Dylan hoped the kid would come clean with her.  Tell her what was going on with him.  Carrie would understand, she would help him figure things out. 

Dylan also hoped Chris didn’t mention that he knew.  Because if he did, Carrie would probably never speak to him again.  Hell, she was already at that point.  That would just cement in her mind that he was an asshole.  Dylan would love the chance to talk to the kid too, but she probably wouldn’t allow that now either. 

It was obvious
that things were coming to a head there, since the rough kid who was with the cowboy messenger recognized Chris.  The gang he’d been hooked up with would probably know exactly where he was now and come looking for their money.  Chris had to know that too.

Thank goodness Carrie had told him she was moving back to her
parents’ ranch in the boonies.  They would be safe there, and he wouldn’t have to worry about them.  Otherwise, he’d be staying to make sure of it.  Dylan seemed to be looking for any excuse to change his mind now that he could leave, and that pissed him off. 

He knew he’d still worry though. 
Even if he was a thousand miles from Carrie and the kids, even if he knew they were safe.  Somehow the kids and the sexy widow had worked their way inside his heart and mind.  Everyone at this ranch had managed to do that. 

He would miss them something awful, and that was a new feeling for him.  Something he’d never experienced before.
  Well except for when he lost his brothers.  Dylan had been devastated then, but he knew from experience he would eventually get over the way he was feeling.  Sick in his heart.  Eventually he’d be able to get on with his life and stop missing them.  Stop worrying.  He just needed to get moving. 

He’d let himself get attached to
these people.  There wouldn’t be a next time for that.  This hurt as bad as losing his brothers had hurt.  Emotion welled up in his chest and shot to his eyes.  His nostrils flared, and he swallowed it back down, letting his breath out slowly, as he repacked his duffle bag.  Maybe he’d just leave tomorrow morning.  It would only take him five and half hours or so to get to Oklahoma.  He’d just go early to get settled and meet the guys.  Start his new life.  Start forgetting this place and these people.

***

Sunday morning Carrie helped Chris load the last box into the back of Zane’s truck.  She wasn’t waiting until her parents left to move back to the house. She needed her daddy to get her up to speed on running the ranch before he left next week.  Besides with what Chris told her yesterday evening by the creek, the faster they left this ranch the better.

The thugs he’d been running drugs with
knew where they lived now.  And he owed them twelve grand, eight of which Carrie had spent moving her small family to her parents’ ranch the first time.  Because her son had lied to her about where it came from. 

Chris was distraught now, but remorseful.  He was also afraid, which was a damned good thing in her opinion.  His poor decisions had endangered all of them. 
That fear might help him make better ones in the future.  She could only hope.

His actions c
ould still endanger the people at this ranch, the folks she now considered friends.  And she couldn’t even tell them.  Terri would probably tell her to call the police, or call herself.  That wasn’t something Carrie could do.  The court would find out Chris was involved, and with the trouble already on his doorstep, he would be taken away from her.  Probably sent to juvenile hall until he was twenty-one. 

Carrie was not letting that happen.
  She’d only told Terri that her parents were moving, and she had to move back to the ranch immediately to take care of it, which wasn’t a lie, but wasn’t the whole truth either.  And because Terri was so upset, Carrie had agreed to continue to bake for her on a small scale.  The money would help Carrie too, even though she’d have to drive a hundred miles to deliver anything she baked, and spend most of what she had saved from the other baking jobs to remodel the kitchen at her parents’ ranch. 

The big
cake jobs would have to go to other local vendors.  Carrie just couldn’t do it.  She would have a ranch to run, and three backs to watch in case those thugs showed up at the ranch.  She would be ready if that happened.  Those thugs would meet her, the business end of her daddy’s shotgun, and the good people of Sugar Bush, Texas. 

The sugar mill and jobs were
long gone, but the people who stayed in her small hometown still watched out for each other.  When they found out her parents were moving and she and the kids would be out there alone, they would watch out for her.  They would all be fine.  That is what she’d been telling herself since yesterday, after she called her parents to tell her father she would take the ranch.

Thank goodness
Zane was off work today, and he’d agreed to help her move.  He’d also agreed to come out and help her at the ranch on his days off.  That offer had completely blown her away.  At least she’d have a little help after her father left.  And maybe a little added protection out there too.  He even offered to help her remodel the kitchen, do the carpentry work, which would make her money go a lot farther.

Zane Lawrence was not only a good looking man, he was multi-talented, kind and caring, thoughtful. 
A good man.  Why the hell couldn’t she fall in love for the second time in her life with someone like him?   She’d always considered herself a smart woman, but falling in love with Dylan Thomas had just been dumb.  The dumbest thing she’d ever done in her life. 

Chris
had told her something else out by that creek yesterday that cemented that fact.  Dylan knew about the trouble Chris had gotten himself into.  And he hadn’t told her.  He’d promised Chris he wouldn’t tell her.  Don’t be mad mom, Chris said, I made him promise not to tell.  Carrie wasn’t mad.  She was livid, and very glad she hadn’t gotten in deeper with the obviously confused and immature cowboy. 

The trouble Chris had bought himself, and his family, was serious. 

Dylan should never have made that promise to him. As the adult in the situation, or supposed adult, he should have told her regardless.  But Dylan had been trying to be Chris’s buddy, and that’s not what her son needed.  He hadn’t even done a good job at that.  Even a buddy who cared about her son would have told her.  Dylan hadn’t said a word, he’d just avoided her.  She figured out that’s why he had been scarce for the last few weeks. 

It all made sense now.

She would never forgive him for that.  What he’d done was self-centered and immature.  He was not the kind of man she needed or wanted in her kids’ lives.  In her life.  Not that he wanted to be anyway.  According to Terri he was pulling out tomorrow to head to Oklahoma.  She’d probably never see or hear from him again. 

And dammit if that thought didn’t make her stomach roll, her heart ache.

Dylan had done a good job of one thing.  He’d punched out a hole in her heart the size of his fist, and it would take a long time for that to heal.  With a sigh, she turned back to start moving her clothes, but a horn honk sounded up the driveway.  She turned back to shade her eyes. Dylan’s big black truck was heading up the driveway toward the house. 

Her heart took a huge leap in her chest, but she tightened her chest muscles to hold it right where it was. 
She did not want to talk to him.  Nothing he would say could make this better.  He could just head on down the road, because Carrie was done with him. 

But he didn’t stop.  His window was down, and he stuck his arm out to wave as he passed by.  That was it.
  Not a goodbye or an explanation.  Hot tears filled her eyes, but she refused to shed them as she watched him reach the end of the driveway and make a right turn.  It was obvious he wasn’t waiting until tomorrow to leave, he was leaving right now.

“You okay, love?” Zane asked with a squeeze to her shoulder.

“Nope, but I will be,” she replied, sucking in a shuddering breath.  She pasted on a smile, before she turned toward him.  “I just have a few more things to bring out, then we can go.  Thank you for helping me.”

“My pleasure,” he said, pulling her into his chest for a warm hug.
  Carrie caught a whiff of his rich, spicy scent and it did nothing for her.  She stepped back.  “If you have anything heavy left, get Chris to help you.  I don’t want you hurting your back.”

“It’s all done now,” he said in that exotic accent of his.

It’s all done.  That was exactly what she was thinking as she glanced back toward the road again, and saw Dylan’s truck had disappeared.  When she looked back, Zane held out a large yellow mailing envelope to her.  “He left something for me to give you.” 

He pushed it toward her, but Carrie shook her head
, and put her hands behind her back.  “I don’t want it,” she said firmly.

His eyes filled with sympathy,
before he walked to the back of the truck.  “You don’t now, but you might later.  I’ll just stick it in this box of kitchen gadgets.”

“Thank you,”
Carrie said in a wobbly whisper, as she turned away to walk back into the house.  She would just throw that package in the garbage when she unpacked that box.  She absolutely was not going to read it, or see what he put in there.