1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (95 page)

714

FACT : Vikings sent eighty “dragon ships”
outfitted with 100 soldiers each, in a single raid on Britain around the year 1000.
The King of England usually asked for a red shirt when he saw an enemy ship approaching, so that if he was wounded in battle and bled, his men would not notice. When he saw the eighty Vikings ships coming, however, the King asked for his brown pants.

Isaac Asimov, ed., Isaac Asimov’s Book of Facts (Hastings House, 1979).

715

FACT :
In 1014,
the original London Bridge was destroyed by Saxons
, who rowed warships up the river Thames, attached cables to the bridge, and pulled it down as they rowed away.
It took awhile. They started pulling in 1012.

Jack Mingo and Erin Barrett, Just Curious, Jeeves: What Are the 1001 Most Intriguing Questions Asked on the Internet? (Emeryville, CA: Ask Jeeves Inc., 2000).

716

FACT :
King John of England died in 1216
from overeating
.
There wasn’t much else to do in 1216.

Geoff Tibballs, ed., The Ultimate Lists Book (Carlton Books, Bristol, 1998).

717

FACT :
During the bloody thirty-eight-year reign of Henry VIII (1509–1547), an estimated
57,000 to 72,000 English subjects lost their heads.
They never found them, either.

Julia Layton, “Top 10 Heads That Rolled During the Reign of Henry VIII,”
HowStuffWorks.com
,
www.howstuffworks.com
.

718

FACT :
In 1517, Spanish missionary Bartolomé de Las Casas, disgusted by the enslavement of Native Americans by Spanish colonizers, suggested
bringing Africans to the New World as slaves instead
.
De Las Casas also suggested that Spain start its own Inquisition and send its Armada to invade England. Then they shot him before he could make any other suggestions.

David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace, The People’s Almanac #2 (New York: Bantam Books, 1978).

719

FACT :
Roughly
7–10 million slaves
were kidnapped from Africa and brought to the Americas.
Oops. Our bad.

David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace, The People’s Almanac #2 (New York: Bantam Books, 1978).

“Slavery,” Encyclopædia Britannica, 15th ed.

720

FACT :
In the process of divorcing Catherine of Aragon and marrying Anne Boleyn, his mistress,
Henry VIII ordered the beheadings of many who questioned his motives
, including political leaders, high-ranking church officials, two of his six wives, and countless members of his royal court.
Know what would have been funny? If all the lopped-off heads woke up and started right back to bitching at Henry about his divorce.

Julia Layton, “Top 10 Heads That Rolled During the Reign of Henry VIII,”
HowStuffWorks.com
,
www.howstuffworks.com
.

721

FACT :
St. Edmund the Martyr, King of East Anglia, was killed by the Vikings in 869 after they defeated his army. According to legend, Edmund’s executioners either “spread-eagled” him,
prying open his ribs and exposing his still-breathing lungs
, or whipped him, shot him with arrows, and eventually chopped off his head.
“Hmm,” said Edmund, upon hearing his choices, “is there by chance a third option?”

Ian Crofton, Brewer’s Cabinet of Curiosities (Cassell, 2006).

“St. Edmund The Martyr,” Catholic Encyclopedia,
www.newadvent.org
.