1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (66 page)

“World’s worst killers,” BBC News, October 30, 1999,
www.news.bbc.co.uk
.

Amanda Howard and Martin Smith, River of Blood: Serial Killers and Their Victims (Universal-Publishers, 2004).

489

FACT :
In the sixteenth century, Hungarian
Erzebet (Elizabeth) Bathory tortured and murdered more than 600 peasant girls
employed in her service and daughters of gentry sent to her estate to learn courtly etiquette.
What is the proper etiquette when one is tortured? Should you send a thank-you note to your torturer?

What if there was more than one? Can you thank them both with one card, or do you have to send a separate card to each?

“World’s worst killers,” BBC News, October 30, 1999,
www.news.bbc.co.uk
.

Peter Vronsky, Female Serial Killers: How and Why Women Become Monsters (Berkley Books, 2007).

490

FACT :
On August ii, 1892, Lizzie Borden was
arrested for the murder of her father and stepmother
, who were both killed by blows from a hatchet. The attack not only crushed the skull of Lizzie’s father, but also cleanly split his left eyeball. Borden was acquitted for the crime.
“And when she saw what she had done / She crushed his skull and cleanly split his left eyeball in half.” Nah, it doesn’t really work.

Edwin H. Porter, The Fall River Tragedy: A History of the Borden Murders (The Lawbook Exchange, 2006).

491

FACT :
In 1989, Erik and Lyle Menendez were charged with the murder of their wealthy parents.

The boys were not considered suspects until six months after their parents’ death,
when their lavish spending caught investigators’ attention
. The Menendez brothers were convicted and sentenced in 1996 to life in prison without parole.
They were also given a copy of “Lying Low For Dummies.”

S. L. Alexander, Media and American Courts: A Reference Handbook (ABC-CLIO, 2004).

492

FACT :
Kidnappings have reached an all-time high in Mexico. According to 2008 statistics,
about sixty-five people are kidnapped each month
. Many families avoid reporting it to the police, whom they distrust.

Not only the rich are targeted; kidnappers have demanded as little as $500.
I heard about a minor league baseball player who was traded for some bats and ten pounds of catfish. A $500 ransom isn’t quite that insulting, but it’s close.

Ken Ellingwood, “Fear of Kidnapping Grips Mexico,” Los Angeles Times, September 1, 2008,
www.latimes.com
.

493

FACT :
Richard Kuklinski was known as a diabolical contract killer. He committed his first murder at age fourteen, and later became a mob hitman,
using weapons like cyanide and chainsaws to commit brutal murders
. Kuklinski was nicknamed Iceman because he sometimes froze corpses to disguise the time of death.
At least he was doing something he enjoyed.

They say that’s important.

Charles Montaldo, “Profile of Richard Kuklinski: The Iceman,”
About.com
: Crime/Punishment,
www.crime.about.com
.

Douglas Martin, “Richard Kuklinski, 70, a Killer of Many People and Many Ways, Dies,” New York Times, March 9, 2006.

494

FACT :
In 1978, over 900 Americans died in a mass murder-suicide led by Reverend Jim Jones, a self-appointed minister and phony faith healer who had led disciples of his People’s Church to create a “socialist paradise” in South America. After a visit from California Representative Leo Ryan—whom Jones’ followers gunned down—
Jones ordered his followers to drink poisoned Flavor Aid
.
Some say they drank Kool-Aid, but I don’t buy it. If they had, Kool-Aid Man would’ve burst through a wall, everyone would’ve said, “Hey, Kool-Aid!” and Kool-Aid Man would’ve yelled, “OH YEAH!!!” And then it would have been a big party, and everyone would be having too much fun to commit suicide.

“Inside the Jonestown Massacre,”
CNN.com
, November 13, 2008,
www.cnn.com
.