10 Great Rebus Novels (John Rebus) (157 page)

‘Except now the man mountain’s working for Big Ger.’ He thought for a moment. ‘Knowing Big Ger, I’d say he put him on the payroll just to piss off Dougary.’

‘Why would he do that?’

‘His idea of a joke. Let me know when they come out again.’

‘Will do.’

She phoned him back half an hour later. ‘Cafferty’s taken off again.’

‘He didn’t stay long.’

‘But listen, the chauffeur stayed put.’

‘What?’

‘Cafferty drove off alone.’

‘Well, I’ll be buggered. He’s putting the man mountain in charge of Dougary’s accounts!’

‘He must trust him.’

‘I suppose he must. But I can’t see the big chap having much experience running a book. He’s strictly a guard dog.’

‘Meaning?’

‘Meaning Big Ger will have to nurse him along. Meaning Big Ger will be down at that office practically every day. It couldn’t be better!’

‘We’d better get in some more film, then.’

‘Aye, don’t let that stupid bugger Petrie run out again. How’s his face by the way?’

‘Itchy, but it hurts when he scratches.’ Petrie glanced over, so she told him, ‘Inspector Rebus was just asking after you.’

‘Was I buggery,’ said Rebus. ‘I hope his nose drops off and falls in his thermos.’

‘I’ll pass your good wishes on, sir,’ said Siobhan.

‘Do that,’ replied Rebus. ‘And don’t be shy about it either. Right, I’m off to a funeral.’

‘I was talking to Brian, he said he’s a pall-bearer.’

‘Good,’ said Rebus. ‘That means I’ll have a shoulder to cry on.’

Warriston Cemetery is a sprawling mix of graves, from the ancient (and sometimes desecrated) to the brand new. There are stones there whose messages have been eroded away to faint indents only. On a sunny day, it can be an educational walk, but at nights the local Hell’s Angels chapter have been known to party hard, recreating scenes more like New Orleans voodoo than Scottish country dancing.

Rebus felt Eddie would have approved. The ceremony itself was simple and dignified, if you ignored the wreath in the shape of an electric guitar and the fact that he was to be buried with an Elvis LP cover inside the casket.

Rebus stood at a distance from proceedings, and had turned down an invitation by Pat Calder to attend the reception afterwards, which was to be held not in the hollow Heartbreak Cafe but in the upstairs room of a nearby hostelry. Rebus was tempted for a moment – the chosen pub served Gibson’s – but shook his head the way he’d shaken Calder’s hand: with regrets.

Poor Eddie. For all that Rebus hadn’t really known him, for all that the chef had tried scalping him with a panful of appetisers, Rebus had liked the man. He saw them all the time, people who could have made so much of their lives, yet hadn’t. He knew he belonged with them. The losers.

But at least I’m still alive, he thought. And God willing nobody will dispatch me by funneling alcohol down my throat before turning on the gas. It struck him again: why the need for the funnel? All you had to do was take Eddie to any bar and he’d willingly render himself unconscious on tequila and bourbon. You didn’t
need
to force him. Yet Dr Curt had tossed his liver in the air and proclaimed it a fair specimen. That was difficult to accept, except that he’d seen it with his own eyes.

Or had he?

He peered across the distance to where Pat Calder was taking hold of rope number one, testing it for tensile strength. Brian was number four, which meant he stood across the casket from Calder and sandwiched between two men Rebus didn’t know. The barman Toni was number six. But Rebus’s eyes were on Calder. Oh Jesus, you bastard, he thought. You didn’t, did you? Then again, maybe you did.

He turned and ran, back to where his car was parked out on the road outside the cemetery. His destination was Arden Street.

Arden Street and the reservations book for the Heartbreak Cafe.

As he saw it, Rebus had two choices. He could kick the door down, or he could try to open it quietly. It was a snib lock, the kind a stiff piece of plastic could sometimes open. Of course, there was a mortice deadlock too, but probably not engaged. When he pushed and pulled the door, there was enough give in it to suggest this was probably true. Only the snib then. But the gap where door met jamb was covered by a long strip of ornamental wood. This normally wouldn’t deter a burglar, who would take a crowbar to it until he had access to the gap.

But Rebus had forgotten to pack his crowbar.

A rap with the door-knocker wouldn’t elicit a response, would it? But he didn’t fancy his chances of shouldering or kicking the door down, snib-lock or not. So he crouched down, opened the letterbox with one hand, put his eyes level with it, and reached up his other hand to the black iron ring, giving it five loud raps: shave-and-a-haircut, some people called it. It signalled a friend; at least, that’s what Rebus hoped. There was neither sound nor movement from the inside of the maisonette. The Colonies was daytime quiet. He could probably crowbar the door open without anyone noticing. Instead, he tried the knocker again. The door had a spy-hole, and he was hoping someone might be intrigued enough to want to creep to the spy-hole and take a look.

Movement now, a shadow moving slowly from the living area towards the hall. Moving stealthily. And then a head sticking out of the doorway. It was all Rebus needed.

‘Hello, Eddie,’ he called. ‘I’ve got your wreath here.’

Eddie Ringan let him in.

He was dressed in a red silk kimono-style gown with a fierce dragon crawling all down its back. On the arms were symbols Rebus didn’t understand. They didn’t worry him. Eddie flopped onto the sofa, usually Rebus’s perch, so Rebus made do with standing.

‘I was lying about the wreath,’ he said.

‘It’s the thought that counts. Nice suit, too.’

‘I had to borrow the tie,’ said Rebus.

‘Black ties are cool.’ Eddie looked like death warmed up. His eyes were dark-ringed and bloodshot, and his face resembled a prisoner’s: sunless grey, lacking hope. He scratched himself under the armpit. ‘So how did it go?’

‘I left just as they were lowering you away.’

‘They’ll be at the reception now. Wish I could have done the catering myself, but you know how it is.’

Rebus nodded. ‘It’s not easy being a corpse. You’d have found that out.’

‘Some people have managed quite nicely in the past.’

‘Like Radiator McCallum and the Robertson brothers?’

Eddie produced a grim smile. ‘One of those, yes.’

‘You must be pretty desperate to stage your own death.’

‘I’m not saying anything.’

‘That’s fine.’ There was silence for a minute until Eddie broke it.

‘How did you find out?’

Rebus absent-mindedly took a cigarette from the pack on the mantelpiece. ‘It was Pat. He made up this unnecessarily exaggerated story.’

‘That’s Pat for you. Amateur fucking dramatics all the way.’

‘He said Willie stormed out of the restaurant after sticking his face in some poor punter’s plate. I checked with a couple of the people who ate there that night. A quick phone call was all it took. Nobody saw anything of the sort. Then there was the dead man’s liver. It was in good nick, so it couldn’t possibly have been yours.’

‘You can say that again.’

Rebus was about to light up. He caught himself, lifted the cigarette from his mouth, and placed it beside the packet.

‘Then I checked missing persons. Seems Willie hasn’t been back to his digs in a few days. The whole thing was amateurish, Eddie. If the poor bugger hadn’t got his face blown away in the explosion, we’d’ve known straight away it wasn’t you.’

‘Would you? We wondered about that, we reckoned with Brian off the scene and Haymarket not your territory, it might just work.’

Rebus shook his head. ‘For a start, we take photographs, and I’d have seen them sooner or later. I always do.’ He paused. ‘So why did you kill him?’

‘It was an accident.’

‘Let me guess, you came back late to the restaurant after a pretty good bender. You were angry as hell to see Willie had coped. You had a fight, he smashed his head. Then you had an idea.’

‘Maybe.’

‘There’s only one rotten thing about the whole story,’ said Rebus. Eddie shifted on the sofa. He looked ridiculous in the kimono, and had folded his arms protectively. He was staring at the fireplace, avoiding Rebus altogether.

‘What?’ he said finally.

‘Pat said Willie ran out of the Cafe on
Tuesday
night. His body wasn’t found until Thursday morning. If he’d died in a fight on Tuesday, lividity and rigor mortis would have told the pathologist the body was old. But it wasn’t, it was fresh. Which means you didn’t booze him up and gas him until early Thursday morning. You must’ve kept him alive all day Wednesday, knowing pretty well what you were going to do with him.’

‘I’m not saying anything.’

‘No,
I’m
saying it. Like I say, a desperate remedy, Eddie. About as desperate as they come. Now come on.’

‘What?’

‘We’re taking a drive.’

‘Where to?’

‘Down to the station, of course. Get some clothes on.’ Rebus watched him try to stand up. His legs took a while to lock upright. Yes, murder could do that to you. It was the opposite of rigor mortis. It was liquefaction, the jelly effect. It took him a long time to dress, Rebus watching throughout. There were tears in Eddie’s eyes when he finished, and his lips were wet with saliva.

Rebus nodded. ‘You’ll do,’ he said. He fully intended taking Eddie to St Leonard’s.

But they’d be taking the scenic route.

‘Where are we going?’

‘A little drive. Nice day for it.’

Eddie looked out of the windscreen. It was a uniform grey outside, buildings and sky, with rain threatening and the breeze gaining force. He started to get the idea when they turned up Holyrood Park Road, heading straight for Arthur’s Seat. And when Rebus took a right, away from Holyrood and in the direction of Duddingston, Eddie started to look very worried indeed.

‘You know where we’re going?’ Rebus suggested.

‘No.’

‘Oh well.’

He kept driving, drove all the way up to the gates of the house and signalled with his indicator that he was turning into the drive.

‘Christ, no!’ yelped Eddie Ringan. He tucked his knees in front of him, wedging them against the dashboard like he thought they were about to crash. Instead of turning in at the gates, Rebus cruised past them and stopped kerbside. You caught a glimpse of Cafferty’s mansion from here. Presumably, if someone up at the house were looking out of the right window, they could see the car.

‘No, no.’ Eddie was weeping.

‘You
do
know where we are,’ Rebus said, voicing surprise. ‘You know Big Ger, then?’ He waited till Eddie nodded. The chef had assumed a foetal position, feet on the seat beneath him, head tucked into his knees. ‘Are you scared of him?’ Eddie nodded again. ‘Why?’ Slowly, Eddie shook his head. ‘Is it because of the Central Hotel?’

‘Why did I have to tell Brian?’ It was a loud yell, all the louder for being confined by the car. ‘Why the fuck am I so stupid?’

‘They’ve found the gun, you know.’

‘I don’t know anything about that.’

‘You never saw the gun?’

Eddie shook his head. Damn, Rebus had been expecting more. ‘So what did you see?’

‘I was in the kitchens.’

‘Yes?’

‘This guy came running in, screaming at me to turn on the gas. He looked crazy, spots of blood on his face . . . in his eyelashes.’ Eddie was calming as the exorcism took effect. ‘He started to turn on all the gas rings. Not lighting them. He looked so crazy, I helped him. I turned on the gas, just like he told me to.’

‘And then?’

‘I got out of there. I wasn’t sticking around. I thought the same as everybody else: it was for the insurance money. Till they found the body. A week later, I got a visit from Big Ger. A
painful
visit. The message was: never say a word, not a word about what happened.’

‘Was Big Ger there that night?’

Eddie shrugged. Damn him again! ‘I was in the kitchens. I only saw the crazy guy.’

Well, Rebus knew who
that
was – someone who’d seen the state of the Central kitchens. ‘Black Aengus?’ he asked.

Eddie didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just stared blearily out of the windscreen. Then: ‘Big Ger’s bound to find out I said something. Every now and then he sends another warning. Nothing physical . . . not to me, at least. Just to let me know he remembers. He’ll kill me.’ He turned his head to Rebus. ‘He’ll kill me, and all I did was turn on the gas.’

‘The man with the blood, it was Aengus Gibson, wasn’t it?’

Eddie nodded slowly, screwing shut his eyes and wringing out tears. Rebus started the car. As he was driving off, he saw the 4x4 coming towards him from the opposite direction. It was signalling to pull into the gates, and the gates themselves were opening compliantly. The car was driven by a thug whose face was new to Rebus. In the back seat sat Mo Cafferty.

It bothered him, during the short drive back to St Leonard’s, with Eddie bawling and huddled in the passenger seat. It bothered him. Could Mo Cafferty drive at all? That would be easy enough to check: a quick chat with DVLC. If she couldn’t, if she needed a chauffeur, then who was driving the 4x4 that day Rebus had seen it parked outside Bone’s? And wasn’t
that
quite a coincidence anyway? John Rebus didn’t believe in coincidences.

‘The Heartbreak Cafe didn’t get its meat from Bone’s, did it?’ he asked Eddie, who misinterpreted the question. ‘I mean Bone’s the butcher’s shop,’ Rebus explained. But Eddie shook his head. ‘Never mind,’ said Rebus.

Back at St Leonard’s, the very person he wanted to see was waiting for him.

‘Why aren’t you out at Gorgie?’ he asked.

‘Why aren’t you on suspension?’ Siobhan Clarke asked back.

‘That’s below the belt. Besides, I asked first.’

‘I had to come and pick up these.’ She waved a huge brown envelope at him.

‘Well, listen, I’ve got a little job for you. Several, in fact. First, we need to have Eddie Ringan’s casket back up out of the ground.’

‘What?’

‘It’s not Eddie inside, I’ve just put him in the cells. You’ll need to interview and book him. I’ll tell you all about it.’