1 Catered to Death (22 page)

“I’m
 
not quite sure what you’re saying, DeeDee.”

“Maybe Jack killed Frank because Frank was going to let him go. Claudine said something about Jack getting his comeuppance soon.”

“That’s mighty slim, honey. Besides, Jack has an alibi, remember?”

“You’re right.” I shuddered. “That student teacher seemed so nice and clean. I can’t imagine her fooling around with Jack.”

“She might have been fooling around with the entire staff for all you know.”

“True.” I sighed. “OK, what next?”

“Time to take on the next suspect. Who is that going to be?”

“I guess Simpson. If you’re going to talk to him, it’s time for me to wait in the car. I know Simpson would recognize me disguise or not.”

“Come up and linger in the hallway,” Steve suggested. “No one will be able to tell that it’s you under that scarf.”

“Really?”

“Really. Come on, DeeDee. I need you.”

Chapter Nineteen

Steve headed for Frank Ubermann’s former office while I stayed behind and studied a large bulletin board covered with school announcements of the what’s-for-lunch and honor roll society ilk. I was noticing that school lunches hadn’t changed too much from my high school years and Steve was almost at the office door when we both heard raised voices coming from inside.

“Get out of here, you loathsome bitch! If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a million times, I’m not going to help you anymore!”

Steve paused outside the main office, his hand stopped in mid-air as he reached for the doorknob. I swiftly moved closer so I could hear what was going on better. The voice sounded like Simpson.

“I think you will help me, Simpson,” a woman’s voice responded. Her deep, cultured tone told me it was Claudine. “I don’t see why you’re being so difficult. Can’t you see that I’m trying to do what’s best for all of us?”

“I am not being difficult. I’m trying to keep this dump going the way Frank would have wanted it.” Simpson now sounded peevish, like a wine steward forced to serve boxed merlot.

Claudine laughed. “How on earth would
you
know what Frank would have wanted? You two weren’t what I would have called bosom buddies.”

“Monica shared a lot of what was going on at the school with me.”

“Why would Monica share anything with you? She couldn’t stand you.”

“And the feeling was mutual but we both understood the importance of teamwork, a concept you obviously never learned. And don’t forget that Frank and I go way back.”

“Yes, I know about your scouting days with Frank. I also know that’s how you got your job. Honestly, Simpson, using a tie as tenuous as sharing merit badges! What was that particular badge in, anyway? Nepotism? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Frank didn’t hire me because of our scouting days!”

“No, he hired you because you work cheap.”

“Claudine, knock it off and let’s get back to what we were talking about: the future of this school. I think I have a pretty good idea of what kind of vision he had for Eden Academy.”

“I highly doubt that. Your idea couldn’t be nearly as clear as mine. I have a master’s degree, you know.”

Simpson’s voice rose again. “Why do you have to be such an aggravating, impossible, old cow?”

Steve and I exchanged glances across the hallway and Steve gestured toward the door, clearly wondering if he should go inside or if he should wait in the hall. I shook my head. We’d learn more eavesdropping than we ever would by going inside since Claudine and Simpson would have to shut up with another person present.

“How dare you––”

“How dare I what? Say the truth? You are an aggravating, impossible old cow and I don’t care what you think about anything. The fact remains that I was Frank’s friend, a far better and more loyal friend than you ever were to him. I know how you ran him down behind his back.”

“I did not!”

“Oh, really? I could quote quite a few tidbits that Monica shared with me—sweet little bon mots about Frank that she swore fell from your collagen-primed lips.”

“Monica! That woman wouldn’t know the truth if it bit her on her ample behind! She hated me. You know I’d never say anything negative about Frank.”

Simpson ignored her. “I also know more about how the school is run that the rest of you dunderheads put together. And I know that Frank would never approve your suggestion. It’s positively ludicrous.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but Claudine’s voice grew even cooler. Pretty soon she was going to turn into a chunk of dry ice. “Well, my dear Simpson, Frank is gone, isn’t he? And he’s left a mess behind for the rest of us to clean up so it no longer matters what he would approve or disapprove. All that really matters is what the rest of us decide to do with his salary. And Monica’s too.”

“I can’t believe you want to take that money and divide it up,” Simpson said loudly. “Not when there are so many other things it could be spent on.”

“Such as?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Claudine, are you kidding me? This is a school and we need things like new textbooks, updated computers, library books. And we’re going to have to look into getting a new bus. We won’t be able to use that deathtrap that killed Monica, you know.”

Steve and I exchanged glances again and I could tell that he was starting to get antsy. We had been lingering in the hallway for a long time but I didn’t want to end the conversation between Simpson and Monica. It was by far the most informative conversation I’d eavesdropped on since I’d first come to Eden Academy. “Five more minutes,” I mouthed at Steve and he nodded.

“Simpson, you’re such a bore. Don’t we all deserve raises after what we’ve been through? I know that I’ve personally been traumatized enough to need to spend an entire year in intense therapy—or a really good spa. I haven’t decided which would be more beneficial. I’m leaning toward the spa. You know the old saying about how if you look good, you feel good. I know that I’ve always found that to be true.”

“The school is going to have to hire another principal,” Simpson snapped. “What do you plan on paying him or her with if you use up all of Frank’s and Monica’s salaries? Monopoly money?”

“We simply won’t replace Frank until the new fiscal year starts and in the meantime, we’ll use his salary for the teachers. We won’t replace Monica either. Ruth can pick up the slack.”

There was a long silence before Simpson spoke again. “I’m not saying that I’m going along with your selfish plan,” Simpson finally stated, “but I’m curious: do you plan on giving everyone a raise?”

“What do you mean? Of course everyone will get a raise.”

“Oh, really? Ruth Sparrow and Junebug and the bus driver and the custodian––”

Claudine laughed. “Are you insane? There wouldn’t be anything left if we did that! I want a decent raise, not something piddley.”

 
“What’s so interesting?” A booming voice spoke from behind Steve’s left shoulder and I cringed as he almost catapulted himself through the tile ceiling. Maxi, the bus driver, had emerged from the bathroom in a stealth-like silence and was standing next to Steve, a baseball cap worn low over black eyes that were looking at my husband intently. Damn. I started to sweat as I leaned forward and read the lunch menu for the fifth time. Maxi was sure to remember him from Ruth’s office the day Frank had died.

“Um, nothing.”

I gulped and looked away. Steve was going to have to skip talking to Monica if Maxi was going into the office too. He was going to have to extricate himself as quickly as possible. Slowly I began backing down the hallway as nonchalantly as possible. It would be bad enough if Maxi recognized Steve. It would be a complete and total death sentence if she recognized me too.

“Do I know you?” Maxi asked, squinting at Steve intently. “Do you have a kid on my bus? Or a grandkid? Are you Levi’s grandpa?”

“Yes,” Steve lied in a faint voice, “I am.”

“I thought you looked familiar. Are you here to talk to me about that little camera incident?”

“Oh, that…well, he was upset.”

“Well, sure he was. I hope you’re not mad but I
told
Levi to knock it off and when he didn’t, I had to take his camera. And I didn’t stop in traffic no matter what any of those brats tell you. I’m always safe. Safety first. But I had to take charge. I’m sure you can understand that.”

“Oh, of course,” Steve agreed. “Levi can be a real handful.”

“He can be a little pisser between you, me and the wall,” Maxi said. She cuffed Steve genially in one shoulder. “Now don’t sweat it. All is forgiven and I’m going to give him his camera back on Monday. I never keep the kids’ stuff for long—just long enough to teach them a lesson and no offense, but that grandkid of yours could use a few lessons, if you know what I mean. He’s a little on the entitled side and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s someone who thinks they’re entitled.”

“Of course,” Steve said as he began edging away from Maxi. “I’ll tell Lewis that as soon as I get home. We’ll have a serious talk about his behavior.”

Maxi screwed up her face. “Lewis?”

“I mean Levi. I’ll tell Levi that. He’s going to be so relieved to hear he’s getting his camera back and I guarantee that he won’t be giving you trouble anymore. Thank you, Maxi.”

“You know my name!”

“Well, Lewis—I mean Levi—talks about you so often.”

“Yeah? What does he say? Did he tell you what happened when we took that field trip to the zoo?”

The main office door swung open and Claudine walked out, a self-satisfied smile on her porcelain face. Behind her I caught a glimpse of Maxi shooting daggers at the redhead’s back. Turning away, I hunched down and tried to become invisible. I didn’t have to bother; with a male in the hallway, all other life forms automatically vanished in Claudine’s viewfinder.

“May I help you?” Claudine asked Steve. She looked a lot better than she had the last time I’d seen her and was wearing another tight, clinging number that would have looked far, far better on a teenager than it did on Claudine. “Are you here to see about enrolling a child in Eden Academy? We have several openings at the moment.”

“His grandson goes here,” Maxi told her. “Levi Wisnewski.”

“Oh, really! Levi’s in my class and he’s really quite a clever boy. Did you want to talk to me about something? I’m Claudine Markham.” The smile slowly disappeared. “Did you say you’re Levi’s grandfather?”

“Yes…” Steve was starting to fade. For a moment I toyed with pulling the fire alarm but decided it was too drastic. All I needed was to keep the faith in my husband.

“That’s rather peculiar. Levi’s grandfather died over the summer vacation and Levi told me that he didn’t have any other grandparents. He was very broken up as I recall. He can be very sensitive, as you must know.”

“I’m
like
a grandfather to him,” Steve said. Even from ten feet away I could see that he was fighting what had to be an almost irresistible urge to turn and sprint down the hallway, out the front door and to the safety of his car. “I’ve got to go. Nice meeting you. You too,” he added, nodding at Maxi. “I’ll tell Lewis about the camera.” Turning, he walked swiftly past me until he reached the school’s front door. Casually, I turned and followed him, waiting for Claudine to call out to me and ask me if I had a student I wanted to enroll too. She didn’t stop me and the moment I reached the outside I felt like I could breathe again. Phew. That had been close. A little
too
close.

Steve was waiting for me in his car. “I’m going to throw up,” he announced.

I got in and pulled on my seat belt. “No, you’re not. You did great! Did you hear those two going at it?”

”Yeah, they sounded pretty bitter.”

“Bitter? I thought Simpson was going to rip her hair out. Did you hear what he said about everyone getting a piece of the pie? Good for him!”

“I heard.” Steve ran a hand across his forehead. “Man, my adrenalin is finally starting to drop. I haven’t sweated so much since high school P.E.”

“I’m telling you, you’re a natural. Wasn’t that great? We learned so much today!”

Steve put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb. “We did? Like what? I can’t remember anything but Maxi’s eyeballs boring into me and that woman’s voice—she sounded like the maw of hell.”

“Well, we learned a lot. For starters, thanks to his lusty appetites, Jack Mulholland is in the clear. So is Emily, the student teacher, since she was with Jack—eeeww, I don’t want to think about that—along with the teacher who discovered them. That means three Eden Academy employees are no longer suspects although I never really did suspect Emily.”

The color was coming back into Steve’s face. “So who does that leave on our suspect list?”

“Junebug, Ruth, Claudine and Frank’s wife,” I said, counting off suspects on my fingers.

“What about Simpson?’

“Right, Simpson too. I forgot about him. I don’t know if I’m even going to leave him on the list. You heard him championing the hourly workers for a raise. Would a killer do that?”

“How should I know what a killer would do? What’s his story anyway? He sounded pretty steamed when he was yelling at Claudine.”

“To tell you the truth, I don’t really know. I talked with him at the luncheon and then a little bit after the murder but I couldn’t tell you that much about him. He does have a history with Frank.”