0373659458 (R) (21 page)

Landon waited until his brain stopped buzzing before he said, “Doesn’t that freak you out?”

Jeremy seemed to think about this for a minute, then slowly shook his head. “I guess it would feel weird and stuff, having another mom. But... I don’t know. I think it’d be good, too. Mostly.” Then he sighed and repeated, “I don’t know.”

For some reason that got Landon’s hackles up. “My mom’s not staying here, you know. This is only a vacation home.” At least, that’s what she kept saying. What he’d always assumed. But seeing the way she looked at Zach...

His stomach got all twisted up. What if something really was going on between them, and she didn’t want to come back to LA? Yeah, okay, in some ways things were a lot calmer when she wasn’t around, but the downside was, she wasn’t around. So he’d already planned to convince her she needed to come home. Even if he hadn’t entirely decided how much to tell her. But he couldn’t imagine living here—

“There you are,” Zach said behind them, and Jeremy got to his feet. So did Landon, although between the dog and the blanket, he kind of got tangled up and nearly fell over. Zach grabbed him, his hands real steady around his arms. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Zach frowned at him, then said to Jeremy, “Why don’t you go on into the kitchen, see what all Dorelle’s got for you guys to take home. I’ll be there in a sec and then we’ll head out.”

After Jeremy left, Zach pushed back his jeans jacket to stuff his hands in his front pockets. Somehow he managed to look kind of nerdy and cool at the same time, with his glasses and everything. “And I repeat,” he said in his low, soft voice, “are you okay?”

Landon half wanted to grill the man, find out if what Jeremy had said was true. Except little kids weren’t exactly reliable sources. And the last thing Landon wanted was to sound totally whack. Even if Jeremy had only been saying what Landon was already thinking.

So he decided to play it cool. For now, anyway. Grownups were gonna do whatever they wanted, anyway, right? Except he couldn’t remember the last time his own father had asked if he was okay. Like he really meant it, anyway.

“You probably need to get back to your kids.”

“They’ll be fine for a few minutes.” He smiled. “I usually have to pry them away from your grandmother, anyway.”

“So they’ve been here before?”

“It’s a small town. Every time you turn around, you run into half of it. And I think my boys filled a gap until your grandmother had you to spoil again.” He shifted his weight, standing more firmly on both feet. “You did real good on Waffles earlier. I can already tell, you’ll make a great rider someday.”

For some reason, the praise made Landon feel warm all over. “Thanks. I’ve always liked horses, even though I wasn’t around them much.”

“That’s because you’re your mama’s son.”

“Yeah, she showed me her prizes and stuff. I guess she was pretty good.”

“That would be my take on it.”

“She also said you’re the one who got her to ride again.”

That got another smile. “All I did was set things in motion. Your mother did the rest. Because if a woman doesn’t want to do something, no way on God’s green earth is a man gonna convince her to do it.”

There went that warm feeling again, partly because Zach wasn’t talking to him like he was a little kid, partly because what he said about women—or at least, the ones Landon knew—was so true. From what he could tell, Zach was pretty cool. That didn’t mean, however, Landon wanted another stepparent. And it was gonna drive him nuts until he knew for sure what was going on.

Except he sure wasn’t gonna find out now, not with Zach’s kids waiting for him. Although...

“You suppose I could go with you sometime while I’m here? When you go out to ranches and stuff?”

Zach looked at him for several seconds before he said, “Just you and me?”

“Yeah. I want... I’m thinking I might like to be a vet, maybe. So I’d like to see what one does.”

He smiled. Kind of. “Okay, then. I’ll check with your mom and we’ll coordinate schedules.”

“Really?”

The smile got a little bigger. “Yes, really.” Zach briefly squeezed Landon’s shoulder and walked back inside, leaving Landon feeling...well, kind of good, actually.

Even if more confused than ever.

* * *

Mallory followed Zach out to his truck, sitting with her arms folded across her middle as he got Liam buckled in while he waited on Jeremy, who’d said he needed to pee. Once he had the toddler settled, he turned back, his breath puffing around his face as he frowned down at her.

“Your boy tell you he asked to go with me on one of my runs?”

“Ah. I wondered what that little confab on the deck was about.”

Zach smiled. A tired smile, she thought. “Yeah, he said he was thinking about becoming a vet.”

“Heh. Last week he wanted to be an architect. But then, he is eleven.”

“What he is, is all balled up about tonight. Why I’m here.” Zach’s voice softened. “What’s going on between us.”

Just the words “between us” made those nerve endings still in touch with her brain jump to attention. But she wasn’t about to read more into it than there was. Or could be. “So...?”

“I’m guessing I’m about to get grilled. You okay with that?”

“Him grilling you?”

That got a brief laugh. “No, taking him with me. Maybe watching me stick my hand up some mare’s butt.”

“You kidding? You’ll make his day.”

He chuckled. “So what’s your schedule like?”

“The ruins’ve been there for centuries, they’ll wait a day or two.”

“Tomorrow morning, then? I’ll pick him up after I drop Jeremy off at school?”

“Sounds good.” Figuring it was safe, in the dark, Mallory reached for Zach’s hand, wishing she could kiss it. Kiss him. Do a lot more than that. “So what’re you going to tell him?”

Smiling, he entwined their fingers. “Haven’t figured that part out yet.”

Not that she’d expected some sort of declaration, but still. She sucked in a breath and said, “A warning, though. My mother’s intuition tells me he’s putting on an act for my benefit.”

Frowning, Zach let go to stuff his hands in his back pockets. “What kind of an act?”

“I’m not sure. Although...it’s almost as if he’s being
too
sweet. Too...agreeable. Not a single head-butt since he’s been here.” A breath left her lungs. “As I said, it’s only a hunch. I know what he says, that everything’s fine, but...”

“You don’t believe him.”

“No.”

“And you want me to pry?”

“And is it weird, that you don’t sound even remotely bothered by the idea?”

“Heh. My mother used to
pay
me to dig up dirt on my brothers. You are looking at the master, lady.”

Mallory laughed. “I’ll bet. But, no. Because that
would
be weird. Figured you could use a heads-up, however.”

He nodded, then checked the door, as though wondering where his son was, before leaning against the truck’s bumper. “So you’re taking Landon up to the resort?”

A smile pulled at her mouth, even as her heart punched into her throat. “Can’t put it off any longer. Especially since that’s part of the reason I took a house here. I need closure, and I think he needs...” She paused. “Context, maybe? Or that could just be crazy talk.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all. Not to me.”

“No, I guess it wouldn’t. Considering it’s you I have to thank for shoving me off my butt to begin with. Metaphorically speaking, anyway. Who got me up on that horse. Who made me realize I had a lot more fears to handle than I wanted to own up to. Who...” Mallory’s eyes stung. Hell. Leave it to her to turn a simple goodbye into some reality show emotion fest. “Who’s been the first person since my injury to see past it.”

Oh, dear Lord...the look on his face... Finally he said, “I don’t believe that. Your mother—”

“Has been a rock, absolutely. And I’m more grateful for her support than I can say. But you’re more like...” She smiled. “The river that rushes around the rocks, sweeping along everything it its path. And apparently that’s exactly what I needed. Not only to be accepted as I am, but to be pushed past that. So thank you.”

“I...” Zach pushed out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know what to say. Other than—”

“You weren’t doing anything special?” she said, teasing. “No, you were simply being who you are. Which for this woman is pretty darn special.”

In the deep silence of an autumn country night, Mallory could hear the hiss of inhalation, the almost whistled exhale as Zach shook his head. Then he walked back to her, squatting in front of her to take her hands in his, and in the dull glow of the porch light she could see the apology in his eyes.

“You’re pretty darn special, too, honey,” he whispered, gently kissing her fingers before levering himself to his feet again, not five seconds before Jeremy finally appeared, hitching up his pants as he tromped out to the truck. Zach opened the door and watched the kid climb in, then looked back at her, those eyes killing her all over again.

“Thank your mama again for dinner. And tell Landon I’ll pick him up around eight-thirty.”

She waved to them as he pulled out of her driveway, then wheeled back up the ramp and into the house. From the kitchen as Dorelle cleaned—she’d shooed Mallory out when she’d tried to help—came vintage country music. Patsy Cline or some such. Twangy and angsty and not at all what Mallory wanted to hear right now. So she went down the hall to Landon’s room, where he was lying flat on his back, a paperback book over his head as he read.

“Zach’s picking you up at eight-thirty tomorrow morning to go with him.”

“Oh, yeah?” Still holding the book aloft, he turned his head and grinned at her. “Cool.”

Silence shuddered between them for several seconds. They both knew this was about more than a sudden interest in animal husbandry, but no way was she getting up in the kid’s grill about it. She and Zach were going to have to work out whatever they needed to work out. Especially since she had no more idea what was going on in Zach’s head than she did her son’s. And yes, that aggravated her control issues out the wazoo. But whatchagonna do?

Then she said, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

The book lowered to his chest. “Um...yeah?”

“Well. Okay. Wanted to make sure we were clear on that.”

“We are. It’s all good, Mom. I swear.” Then he lifted the book over his head again, signaling the end of the conversation.

God help her, her mother was singing along with Patsy when Mallory got to the kitchen. Only Dorelle couldn’t sing to save her soul, so that was a problem. For Mallory, anyway. Clearly not Dorelle. Although when she saw Mallory, she stopped singing, shut the dishwasher and parked one hand on her hip, and Mallory decided she’d take the singing, any day.

“What?” she said, wheeling to the fridge for a bottle of water. “Or should I say, what now?”

“Other than those looks you and Zach were giving each other were like to set the table on fire? Nothing.”

“They were not. Jeez, Mama, give me some credit—”

“You really don’t think I know what happened between you two when you went down to Corrales? Not that I’m criticizing,” she said, pressing one hand to her chest. “Far from it. In fact, let me be the first to sing,
Hallelujah
.” Which she did, in a warbly soprano that made Edgar roll his eyes at Mallory.
Make it stop? Please?
“But I’m also guessing doing the deed solved nothing?”

Mallory took a long swig of her water, then twisted the cap back on the bottle. “What makes you think,” she said in a low voice, “it was supposed to
solve
anything?”

“So you admit it?”

“I’m thirty-eight, for cripes’ sake—”

“Hence the hallelujah...ing. Oh, baby—”

“And you have clearly forgotten how fast I can take my booty out of here. Mama,” she said over her mother’s huff, “this was about...getting out of the damn starting gate. Not making it to the finish line.”

Mama crossed her arms. “So you’re telling me you—
you
, of all people—are okay with only running part of the race?”

She shrugged. “I’ve mellowed.” Her mother snorted. “Then how’s about I’ve learned to play the hand I’ve been given? Since it’s not like I had much choice in that, did I?”

“Oooh...” Mama’s eyes got all soft, which in turn softened something inside Mallory, and...crap. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Willing her eyes to stop stinging, Mallory tapped the bottle against her knee for a moment, then met her mother’s gaze. “You remember when I was up for that role in an amazing movie a few years back? How much I wanted that part, would’ve killed for it, even? But I didn’t get it. And, yeah, I was disappointed—”

“Russell said you cried for a week.”

“Okay, so extremely disappointed. But I got over it. And then came
the
part, the one I got the Oscar for. Which I couldn’t’ve taken if the other role hadn’t fallen through. Things work out...” Dammit. She stopped. Swallowed. “Things work out the way they’re supposed to. And how I feel about Zach doesn’t change the fact that he’s not ready to move forward. That
he’s
the one who can’t, or won’t, finish the race—”

“He told you that?”

“Not in those words, obviously, but yes. Many, many times. But even if he hadn’t, the eyes don’t lie. So you know what? I’ve decided to be grateful for his friendship, that he makes me laugh, that...he made me feel beautiful, and worthy, and worshipped. That he sees
this
,” she said, pressing a hand to her heart, before sweeping it across her legs. “Not these. And in any case...”

She glanced back toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms before meeting her mother’s gaze again. “Right now, it’s all about Landon. What he needs. And until I get that figured out—assuming I ever do—what
I
want comes a distant second.”

For once, her mother seemed at a loss for words. But underneath the kitchen’s pot lights, her eyes glistened before she closed the few feet between then to bend over, pulling Mallory’s head to her chest. “What on earth did I do to get such a dear, sweet, brave daughter?”