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It’s not your business. Don’t get distracted. Stay focused.

Vivian had to keep reminding herself of that.

A life was in her hands.

CHAPTER FIVE

V
IVIAN
LEANED
AGAINST
the scrub sink, rolling her shoulders. The patient was in the ICU. She needed to heal. Her brain had swelled and Vivian would wait until the swelling went down to close up her work, but if all went well the woman should wake up.

Still, the next few hours would tell whether the patient would wake up or not.

And she planned to find an on-call room. As soon as she’d checked on her mother.

Right now, her body ached.

“You did good.”

Vivian glanced over to see Reece standing outside of the scrub room. He’d left when the patient was wheeled off to the ICU while Vivian remained behind to dictate the OR report while it was still fresh in her mind. She liked the peace and quiet of the OR when everyone was gone. And his compliment made her heart flutter.

“Thanks. It was good to have you in there with me again. It was just like old times.”

Reece shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“What time is it?”

“About four in the morning.”

Vivian’s shoulders slumped and she could feel the exhaustion washing through her. “I need to find a bed.”

“Why don’t you go home?” Reece suggested.

“Why? My next shift starts in about three hours.”

He chuckled. “Oh. Mine starts in about two.”

She groaned. “I’m so sorry for keeping you here. You were on the way out the door when we stumbled into the ER and ruined your night.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t ruin it. Not completely.” He winked and they shared a smile. “Besides, I haven’t seen many brain-stem glioma surgeries here at Cumberland Mills.”

“They don’t show up very often in adults or caught at an early stage. Her family said she had no symptoms that usually appear when the glioma starts to strike. That car accident probably saved her life.”

“That’s for sure.” He leaned against the doorjamb. “The last one I saw was the day we started dating and I haven’t seen one since.” She remembered that day. That day she’d stood up, spoken up just like Dr. Berlin did. That surgery gave her confidence that he always instilled in her.

It was also a rush. And that rush of surety had made her reach out for the thing she wanted the most and that was Reece.

She cleared her throat, trying not to think about kissing him now. “So one every seven years?”

“Something like that.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I checked on your mother. She’s sleeping but hasn’t had a regression. We’ll start the protocol later today. I’m sending her down for an updated MRI at ten, but I still need that previous MRI from you.”

“Walk me to my office and I’ll email it to you right now.”

“If you’re going to email the MRI why do I have to walk you?” he asked.

“Because I’m so tired I don’t know how to get off the surgical floor. I don’t want to end up in Pathology again.”

They both laughed at that.

“Come on, then, pokey,” he teased.

“Ugh, really. Even after all this time?”

Reece grinned. “Come on. When you’re sleep deprived you turn into a sloth. That hasn’t changed.”

“You’re a jerk,” she teased back. “I haven’t been on a hospital rotation in an eon.”

“I know,” he said quietly, pulling away from her again. Closing off.

“Have you checked on Mr. Trainer since he was hooked up for his testing yesterday evening?” Vivian asked, trying to change the subject and also stifle a yawn threatening to erupt.

“Yes, I did and so far no seizure activity.”

Vivian cursed under her breath. “If he doesn’t have any seizure activity in the next twenty-four hours and he’s been cleared by cardio we’re going to have to discharge him.”

Reece nodded. “He’s a bit antsy to go. He’s singing at the Opry Friday night. Apparently, Thursday, two days from now, is rehearsal.”

“So he won’t voluntarily stay then if the test tomorrow comes back inconclusive?”

“No, he’s pretty adamant to go.” Reece sighed.

Vivian groaned. “I’ll go see him.”

“Get some sleep first. He can wait.”

“I thought he was Dr. Brigham’s VIP patient?” she asked.

Reece shrugged. “Yeah, but Dr. Brigham went home. He’s probably sleeping and Gary is a decent person. He gets it. I told him you’ve been in the operating room since ten and you were catching forty winks. He understood.”

“Are you sure?”

“What kind of patients are you used to working with?” he asked.

“Impatient ones.” She smiled at him and stopped in front of her office. “Come on in and I’ll send you the MRI.”

Reece followed her in and she logged on to her computer and sent him the file. Then, all of a sudden, he was leaning over her. So close. He still smelled the same. That masculine scent which used to make her nervous and giddy at the same time.

Her pulse began to race at the thought of him so close. She was still attracted to him. That had never changed, and probably never would. Just being near him made her yearn for him again. She was weak when it came to him.

So weak.

He had been in the on-call room after surgery once, getting ready to sleep, when she snuck in and locked the door.

“What’re you doing?” Reece had asked in surprise.

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

And then she had wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, trying to let him know how much she craved him in that moment. That she wanted him to be her first.

She wanted to be with him.

“Vivian,” he’d whispered as he’d broken off the kiss. “What’re you doing to me?”

“Kissing you.”

Her courage had faltered, but when she’d reached up and kissed him again it had been the best thing she’d ever done. She’d wanted him. She’d just never known how to tell him.

“I know.”

And then he’d cupped her face in his hands and pulled her into another kiss which had left her weak in the knees. And then, just like in one of those Hollywood moments, he had swept her off her feet and carried her over to the small cot, where the kissing had turned into frenzied lovemaking.

She’d pulled off her scrubs, not wanting to end their connection. All she’d wanted was to be naked with him. To have him possess her completely.

His lips had burned her flesh, making her cry out in heady pleasure...

“Can you bring it up for me?” he asked, interrupting her sinful thoughts.

“I just sent it to you.” She fidgeted in her seat, completely aroused by that memory.

He frowned at her. “Just bring it up. Don’t be so pedantic.”

Vivian brought up the MRI and he leaned in closer. Her blood heated, her heart racing, and she tried not to think about what she’d just been thinking about because it all came rushing back to her right at this moment.

His hands on her. His kisses.

You broke his heart. You can’t have him.

Only her body didn’t care. She wanted him. Just as much as the first time—and that was the way it had always been when they were together.

“Yeah, looking at this, I can tell she’s the perfect candidate for this trial. She’s exactly what I’m looking for.” Then he looked down at her and moved away from her fast, as if he was stung. “Thanks for sending that to me.”

“No problem. You made room for my mom in the trial.”

He nodded. “As I said...”

“I know, she’s the perfect candidate,” she said, finishing his sentence.

“Well, I have to start my rounds soon and I’m going to grab some coffee.”

“Okay, I’ll see Gary as soon as I catch some sleep and probably discharge him.”

“All right. I’ll see you later.” Reece left and Vivian sank back in her chair. When she’d seen him again her heart had stood still, but being that close to him again... It was as if nothing had changed between them.

Except it had.

It was clear to her that he didn’t feel anything for her anymore and really there was no one to blame but herself.

* * *

He managed to avoid her for twenty-four hours. Physically, that was, but he couldn’t get Vivian out of his mind. Reece liked the floor in the early morning. It was quiet. He liked that sense of calm. He would like it even better if he hadn’t been up for over forty-eight hours. It had been a long time since he’d pulled a shift like this. Not since his days as a resident.

That was when he didn’t have an option to really have sleep. Residents and interns were expected to run every test, every chart. They were the last to sleep. Vivian and he used to hang out in the halls when it was quiet, chatting and drinking endless cups of coffee.

She had been his first true friend.

Growing up as the son of Ray Castille, there were plenty of people around; it was just none of them were genuine. Vivian had been genuine.

And then she’d become something more.

He’d opened up his guarded heart to her—something he’d never done with anyone—and then she’d left. She’d left for Germany and it had torn him apart. He’d bared his soul to her during their six months together. Told her his secret hopes for the future. Things that he’d thought she wanted as they both had hard childhoods. Only seeing her with her mother made him wonder if that was actually true.

Maybe he didn’t know her after all. He’d never known her. Maybe they weren’t the same.

He told himself that he wasn’t going to get attached to her again, he’d keep his distance, but so far that was proving to be impossible. Especially when he worked with her in the OR. He’d forgotten how amazing they were together.

How in sync they were.

He’d let his guard down and fallen into an easy rapport with her. To the point that when he’d been looking at the MRI he’d leaned over her. The scent of her shampoo was the same as it had always been. Coconut.

It reminded him of the first night they’d spent together and then the morning in the shower afterward.

Running his hands over her body.

He’d been her first. She had trusted him enough to let him be her first.

“I love you,” he had whispered, overcome with everything he’d felt. Never wanting to leave the happy bubble of that moment.

She hadn’t answered with words, but with a kiss.

At the time, he thought that the kiss was the same as the words he’d told her.

A kiss to say I love you.

How wrong he’d been. He’d given his heart to the wrong woman.

Don’t think about it.

Why did she have to come back?

He’d gotten over her.

Actually, no. Who was he kidding? He was never over her. He’d just learned how to live without her.

Reece stopped in front of her office. The door was open but it was dark.

Just walk away.

Only he couldn’t help himself. He peered inside and saw that she was lying on the couch in her office. Passed out. He could even hear her snoring.

It wasn’t the kind of snoring that one might hear from a lumberjack. It was just a light gentle snore, one he was familiar with, and it made him chuckle softly because it hadn’t changed at all. All those nights together. He’d never known peace like that since those summers in Kentucky at his grandpa’s cabin. She moaned in her sleep and her brow furrowed. Reece smiled. He knew for a fact that those couches in Attending’s offices were not comfortable at all. They were terrible, but after being up for forty-eight hours the couch in his office was looking mighty fine indeed.

“Dr. Castle, Gary Trainer’s managers are on line three,” Nurse Rodgers said from the charge station. “They want to speak to you and Dr. Maguire, but she’s not answering her phone.”

“Okay. I’ll wake up Dr. Maguire and we’ll take the call in her office.”

Reece gently knocked on the door. “Vivian?”

She sat up. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a call on line three about Gary Trainer. It’s his management team and no doubt they want to know when we’re going to release him.”

“What day is it?”

“Thursday morning. His tests are done.”

Vivian nodded and Reece answered the phone, putting it on speakerphone. “This is Dr. Castle and Dr. Maguire speaking.”

“Yes, this is Buzz. Dr. Castle, I believe we’ve met, but I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Maguire yet.”

“No, we haven’t met,” Vivian said, fighting back a yawn. “How can we help you?”

“I was talking to Gary two nights ago, before you hooked him up to the machines. There was an incident?”

“Yes, Mr. Trainer had a seizure and required a defibrillator to revive him.”

“I know he wants out of there, but I can reschedule the Opry if you need to keep him,” Buzz said.

“The problem, Buzz, is that he’s checked out. He’s been cleared by Cardio,” Reece said.

“And Neuro?” Buzz asked.

“The tests came back inconclusive. He’s doing fine and hasn’t had a seizure since Tuesday,” Reece stated. “His scans came back clean again. I don’t think we can keep him at the moment and he’s insisting that he doesn’t miss his show at the Opry.”

“When do you plan to discharge him?” Buzz asked.

“I want to run one more quick test and then I think by four in the afternoon,” Vivian said.

“Okay, I’ll send around a car for him. Thank you.” Buzz ended the call and Reece disconnected Vivian’s phone.

“You want to run one more test on him?” Reece asked. “When were you planning on discussing this with me?”

“As soon as I woke up.” Vivian pulled her long red hair back into a ponytail. “Ugh, it feels like I got no sleep at all.” She moaned and stretched her back.

Reece reached out instinctively and rubbed her back. “Those couches suck. You should’ve crashed in an on-call room.”

“I intended to, but once I sat down I couldn’t get back up.” She stepped away from him. “Thanks, I think the kink’s out.”

“Sure.”
What’re you doing?
“So this test?”

“Something happened to Mr. Trainer on stage. He’s been cleared of almost everything, yet when he took my hand when we first met there was weakness. Something is going on and I just want to run one more small test, a little scan before I let him go to sing at the Opry.”