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“Why the hell are you only telling me this now?” Jack was shouting into the phone.

Jenna held it away from her ear. She didn’t want to shout back; she had neither the will nor the time for it.

“My son breaks his arm and
you
don’t think it’s important enough to pick up the phone?”

“I dealt with it, OK?” she cut in sharply.

“That’s not the point. Did you stop Josh from telling me himself?”

Incensed, she snapped, “No one stopped him. He just didn’t ask to call you, and this is the first time you’ve found a minute to call us.”

Grinding out the words, he said, “You can’t resist it, can you?”

“Do you know what, Jack, I really don’t need this. I’m trying to get them ready for school, which you’d know if you’d bothered to check the time difference before you rang. What the hell time is it there?”

“Just after midnight.”

“So why are you calling now?”

“Because I knew they’d all be at home.”

“Great! Everything has to happen on your schedule, doesn’t it, Jack? Let’s make sure we all fit in around you. Never mind that we’re up to our eyes here, already running late, can’t find our shoes, don’t want to brush our teeth, have to finish watching a program or playing a game…”

“I’ll call back another time,” he said, and the line went dead.

Hanging up her end, Jenna stood over the phone, afraid to move, to think, to do anything that might end up pushing her that final step over the edge. She was so close, so dangerously and calamitously close, that even breathing felt like an unsafe thing to do.

She counted to ten and tried to will herself to carry on with the morning. All she had to do was clear up the spilled cereal, rescue crayons floating in milk, pick up the Legos before Waffle chewed one of them, brush Flora’s hair, make sure everyone had the right books in their bags after checking them to make sure there were no notes they’d forgotten to give her, find out who had PE…

She’d been arrested for shoplifting yesterday. A security guard had stopped her on the way out of Tesco and marched her to the manager’s office. She’d had two bags full of groceries she hadn’t paid for. She hadn’t even realized that until they’d pointed it out. All she’d been able to think about at the time was Paige and the call she’d just received from The Landings. Paige hadn’t been to school for over a fortnight, and they were worried; they wanted to know what was wrong with her, how things were at home, and if there was anything they could do to help.

“I can explain,” she’d told the supermarket manager, but she hadn’t been able to because she hadn’t wanted to admit to being such a terrible mother that she’d had no idea her daughter wasn’t going to school.

They’d let her go in the end, but not until the police had been called and she’d contacted Richard to ask for his help. He’d come straightaway and sorted it out somehow, had probably even paid for the shopping, because she’d had it when she got home.

He’d rung last night to find out how she was, and she’d told him she was fine.

“A stupid aberration,” she’d tried to joke. “I’ve never done anything like it before.”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“Not a very good excuse, but it’s the only one I have.”

“You need a break, some time for yourself, but I know it isn’t easy when you have children.”

“Or when your husband is in the States with another woman, so he can’t help out.”

“What about your mother and sister?”

“Yes, they’ll help, definitely. Easter’s coming and the children will be on holiday, so it won’t be as stressful.”

“You’ll let me know if there’s anything I can do?”

“Of course, and thank you for today. I’m horribly embarrassed, and I’m not sure I want to know what you said to them.”

“It doesn’t matter. What does is that they realized it was a mistake and now you’re home in one piece.”

Except she wasn’t in one piece. She was in so many pieces that she had no idea how to pull herself together.

“Shall we walk on Sunday?” he suggested.

“That would be lovely. Thank you.”

A walk on Sunday with Richard and the dogs.
Just think of that, Jenna. It’ll keep you calm, help you to stay focused, give you something to look forward to.

She registered feet thundering down the stairs. Music blaring from someone’s TV. Voices from the radio. Sunlight blazing across the kitchen.

Paige had refused to open her door last night.

She had to speak to her.

“Mum! Can I take my boxing gloves to school?”

“Mum! Josh can’t brush his teeth.”

“I can. I already did it.”

“Mum! Wills has broken his glasses again.”

“Mum! Can I have a piece of toast?”

“Mum! I can’t find any socks.”

“Mum! I dropped my reading book in Waffle’s water.”

“Mum! Have you seen my ruler?”

“Mum! Is Dad going to ring again?”

Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum…

“Mum, why are you banging your head on the wall?”

“Stop, Mum, you’ll make yourself bleed.”

“Please, Mum, stop…”

“For God’s sake,” Paige exclaimed, grabbing her mother’s shoulders. “What the hell are you doing? You’re scaring everyone.”

“And everyone’s scaring me.” Jenna’s voice was hysterical. “Especially you! I don’t know what’s happening to you, what you’re doing on that bloody computer, where you’re going when you’re supposed to be at school.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Stop it!” Wills cried, clasping his hands to his ears.

“I want some answers,” Jenna shouted as Paige made to walk off. “Don’t you dare…”

“Just leave me alone,” Paige yelled back at her. “I’m sick of this place.”

“And I’m sick of you shutting yourself up in that room, never letting anyone in, being unpleasant to your sister, ignoring your brothers…You put yourself first all the time, never thinking about how things are for them.”

“They’re not my children. They’re yours. I didn’t ask you to have them, so stop trying to make them my responsibility.”

Jenna glared at her menacingly. “I’ll never forget you said that,” she seethed. “Now get out of my sight and don’t show me your face again until you’re ready to apologize.”

“That’s never going to happen,” Paige threw over her shoulder. “I’ve got nothing to apologize for, and you’re going to seriously regret all the horrible things you’ve said to me. You just wait and see.”

Ignoring her, Jenna turned on the others. “I want you ready to get in the car by the time I come down again. That means teeth and hair brushed, shoelaces tied, bags packed, and Wills, your glasses in their case ready for the repairer.” Leaving their worried faces staring after her, she ran upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

Since she had no time for anything else, she simply splashed cold water on her face, scrunched up her hair, and dragged a sweater over her jeans.

Minutes later she was on the landing. “Paige, I don’t want you to leave this house before I get back,” she called out. “If you do, there’s going to be serious trouble.”

—

Paige was sitting on the edge of her bed, her face as white as the blossom floating past her window, her hand shaking from clutching her phone so hard.

I’m definitely ready,
she’d just messaged to Julie.
I need directions. Please send as soon as you get this and will meet you there.

By the time Jenna returned from a nightmare of a school run, trying to calm the little ones down and assure them she was fine, there was no sign of Paige. Though she wasn’t surprised, she was angry and worried, and half ready to start banging her head against the wall again. It had been a dreadful start to the day, one of the worst, but she had to get a grip. She couldn’t allow herself to lose it like that again, or God only knew what kind of mess they were going to end up in.

I’m sorry about earlier,
she texted to Paige.
I know I expect too much of you. Please call or text when you get this and I’ll come and get you.

If she was at school, it would have to wait until later.
Please God, let her be at school.

She spent the next hour clearing up the kitchen, bundling clothes into the wash, scrubbing felt-pen drawings off windows, and trying to find cases for DVDs. Every few minutes she checked her phone, but there was nothing from Paige, and as time passed her guilt and worry escalated sharply. She tried ringing, over and over, but kept going to voicemail. “Paige, please call me,” she said the first time. “Darling, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said the next time, “please let’s talk.” In the third message she said, “Paige, this isn’t fair. You know how much you mean to me, and you know I’ll be thinking the worst, so please either text or call so we can sort things out.”

By lunchtime there was still no word, so she rang the school.

A terrible fear came over her when she was told that Paige wasn’t there.

“I don’t mean to pry,” Mrs. Haynes, the form tutor, said, “but I’ve heard there are difficulties at home. If we can help in any way—”

“I need to find her,” Jenna broke in shrilly. “We had a row this morning. Is Charlotte Griffiths there? She’ll know where she is.”

“I’ll track her down and make sure she calls you.”

Only as she rang off did it dawn on Jenna that she hadn’t seen Charlotte in a while. Those two were never out of each other’s pockets, were constantly texting or FaceTiming if they weren’t actually together, so what had happened to make them fall out? If they had fallen out…

Though she guessed Charlotte’s mother, Lucy, would be at work, she tried calling anyway and was about to leave a message when her line signaled an incoming call. “Hello?” she said, quickly switching over.

“Hi, it’s Charlotte. Mrs. Haynes told me to call you.”

Jenna’s heart was thudding. “Do you know where Paige is?” she asked, trying to sound calm.

“No, I haven’t seen her,” Charlotte replied.

Oh God no.
“Since when?”

“I don’t know. A couple of weeks, I guess. She hasn’t been coming to school. I thought she was…you know, sick or something.”

“No, she’s not. Do you have any idea where she might be going?”

“No, sorry. She doesn’t speak to me anymore.”

“Why? What happened?”

“We kind of had this bust-up. She thought I was…She accused me of telling people stuff about her.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Just stuff.”

“Charlotte, please. I’m very worried. We had a row this morning and I think I’ve really upset her. I need to find out where she is.”

“I’m sorry, but I honestly don’t know.”

“Does she have any other friends who might know?”

Charlotte fell silent.

“Are you still there?” Jenna urged.

“Yes, I’m here, I’m just trying to think…I mean, there’s this friend she has online…I don’t know her name, or not her real name, anyway. She says it’s Julie, but to be honest, I don’t even know if it’s a girl.”

Jenna tried desperately not to overreact. “Do you think she could be with this friend now?”

Charlotte sounded wary. “I suppose it’s possible, but this Julie person never wanted anyone to know who she was.”

Reading everything terrible into that, Jenna said, “Is there a chance anyone else might know who this Julie is?”

“I shouldn’t think so. As far as I know, Paige is the only one she chats with.”

“You mean online?”

“Yeah. They private-message on Facebook and some other sites as well, I think. I don’t really know, because I was never invited to join in.”

Jenna’s mind was racing. “Will you ask around, try to find out if anyone knows who this Julie might be?”

“I’ve already done that and no one does. I did it so I could show Paige she was trusting the wrong person.”

“Why did you think that?”

“Because this Julie would never say who she was. In my book, if you’re a real friend you don’t have to hide who you are.”

Jenna couldn’t think of a good reason for it either. “OK. Promise me you’ll call if you see her, or if you hear anything that might tell us where she is.”

“Promise.”

As she rang off her mother came in the door. “Paige is missing,” Jenna blurted out, and found herself close to panic simply on hearing the words.

Kay’s eyes were wide with alarm.

“I mean, not missing,” Jenna stumbled. “Yes, missing…I don’t know where she is. Apparently she hasn’t been going to school…Oh, Mum, I shouted at her this morning…I said things—”

“There’s no point going over that now,” Kay interrupted sharply. “If she’s gone off in a temper, she’ll cool down soon enough. What we need to know is why she hasn’t been going to school.”

“Because someone called Julie has got to her. Don’t ask me who this person is. Even Charlotte’s not sure, and if Charlotte doesn’t know…” Jenna put a hand to her head. “It’ll be some godawful pervert who’s befriended her, lured her out of school to do things with her—”

“Before you go any further with that,” Kay cut in, “she’s been coming home every night, and—”

“And acting very strangely. You must have noticed that she hardly speaks to us anymore. She’s not interested in anything we have to say, never wants to do anything with us. I keep putting it down to her age and to Jack leaving, but now that I know about this…” Jenna’s eyes were heavy with foreboding. “Mum, what am I going to do? I can’t just sit here. She’s out there somewhere, and I don’t know what she’s doing, who she’s with…I have to call the police.”