02 The Moon And The Tide - Marina's Tales (23 page)

We drove around town for a while until I
yawned, worn out from the long day.

“We should go home,” Ethan said. I pulled
into the driveway and parked. Ethan leaned over to kiss me and I
met him halfway. He reached up to stroke my cheek with his
fingertips, and I opened my eyes to see that his were closed. He
had the strangest expression on his face, almost like he was
suffering.

I pulled back, “Are you okay?”

He lunged forward to kiss me again,
“Perfect,” he said, when we came up for air, “Why?”

I pressed my lips together, “You kinda look
like you’re... I don’t know, in pain or something.”

He smiled wistfully, “I guess I just love you
so much it hurts.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to
hurt.”

He chuckled, “Do you want to go surfing after
school Monday?” he asked.

“Yes,” I smiled wryly, for the answer was
never no.

“Then it’s a plan,” he said, “Why don’t you
bring our boards to school and we can leave from there?” We got out
and loaded my board and Ethan’s new one into the back. He walked me
in, reminding me to bring my wetsuit to school. I said goodnight to
Abby and Dutch and went to my room.

I stayed up late that night painting,
starting out with a view of the cypress trees clinging to the
Monterey coast. By the time I quit out of sheer exhaustion the
piece had morphed into a painting of a wild wave. It was perfectly
cresting, begging to be surfed, with glints of Lorelei’s coppery
golden hair hidden within.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Nighttime

“Miss Vanderpool, do you think you could
remove your head from the clouds and join the rest of us? There
will
be a test on this material.”

The classroom exploded in snickers as I
looked up at Mrs. Allen, an unpleasant substitute teacher glaring
down at me with extreme annoyance. I glanced over at Cruz and
caught a sympathetic shrug. I was having an increasingly difficult
time remaining present in class. The teacher’s irritation was
justified, but there was simply no point in her sarcasm. I couldn’t
help it if I tried.

Truthfully, I was disengaged from my studies.
The only things I could wrap my mind around were surfing, painting
and spending time with Ethan. I was counting the weeks until
graduation, anticipating long summer days filled with breaking
waves.

At least art class was still tolerable, and
Mr. Briggs was endlessly encouraging.

“I was up in Santa Cruz for some coffee
yesterday and I saw your paintings,” he enthused, “They’re
magnificent! Why didn’t you tell me you were working on a series...
and showing?”

“It’s really no big deal.” I gathered up my
things to go.

“I think it is!” he said, “The pieces are so
unlike your more... academic work in the classroom. There’s such
immediacy… such passion, they’re very impressive.”

“Thank you,” I said politely. I couldn’t help
wondering if they appealed to him because of some strange alchemy
of my frustrations poured into them.

“I think you have a bright career ahead of
you,” Mr. Briggs announced.

I’d never seriously thought about being a
painter as a career. Maybe that was the thing I was destined to do.
I thought about all the earnest starving artists that flocked
around Evie at art galleries. They put their artistic vision above
all else, and most of them seriously suffered for it.

I wasn’t doing art for art’s sake, although I
was certainly expressing myself. Painting was simply a weaker
version of the art form I had become singularly obsessed with. I
wondered what Mr. Briggs would think if he knew that I only painted
the waves when I couldn’t be surfing on them.

I was late getting out to the parking lot,
arriving to find Ethan waiting over by the Range Rover.

“There you are,” he said.

“Thank God it’s Friday!” I was eager for a
weekend out on the water.

He came up behind me as I swung my bag onto
the back seat. I turned around to catch an apprehensive look on his
face.

“What?” I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I have to work Saturday too,” he said with
an apologetic look.

I heaved a sigh. I had been anticipating a
long day of surfing with him all week and couldn’t hide my
disappointment no matter how hard I tried.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “My dad’s really
shorthanded. I’ll make it up to you next week.” He looked so cute
when he was worried, I had to give him a hug.

“It’s alright,” I said, “I understand.” I
couldn’t be upset with him, for he worked very hard to fit in as
much surfing alone with me as he could. He was treating it like
another job he had to get done and I felt a little guilty about it;
I didn’t want to take the fun out of surfing for him.

I knew I’d have to go out with Lorelei; it
was inevitable, impossible for me to resist. It was the only way I
could stay calm in the face of what could only be described as an
addiction. I told myself it would be fine, I just needed to plan
ahead and try not to get swept away. Nothing bad had happened yet,
I thought rebelliously. I could handle it.

“Marina,” Ethan sounded serious, “Please wait
for me to go with you.”

I’d promised him I would always tell the
truth. “I’ll try,” I said.

The truth was that as hard as I tried I was
bound to fail. Everywhere I looked I was constantly bombarded by
images of waves and surfing; it seemed like there was something to
trigger me everywhere I went. The harder I fought not to think
about it the more obsessive I became.

“Try hard... for me?” his tone was sweetly
insistent.

“I’m going with Cruz to see Megan sing
tomorrow afternoon,” I said. “She’s coming over early to get
ready.” I could feel him relax in my arms.

“I have to get going,” he said. There was
always more work for him to do. I couldn’t fault him for being so
conscientious, it was one of the things I loved about him. He was
going to have all the things he worked for someday, I had already
seen it. I just wasn’t sure how I fit into the plan.

“Be careful out there,” I said, kissing him
goodbye.

I was on my knees, trapped in a small tight
space, fighting back the panic that was threatening to overwhelm
me. I reminded myself to think, think and stay cool, otherwise all
would be lost. I clutched the necklace hanging around my neck, its
blue-green fire giving me hope...

I woke up panting and sweating, sickened by a
terrible sense of dread. It was the dead of night and there was no
possible way I could get back to sleep after that dream. All of my
past claustrophobic anxieties came flooding back to the surface and
I wondered what it meant as I tossed and turned in bed. I reached
to my neck to touch my aquamarine. It was two in the morning when I
just couldn’t lie down any longer.

I packed my wetsuit in the dark and went out
into the heavy night air. It was densely foggy, without a trace of
moon or stars. I picked my way down the stairs in the forbidding
darkness, and when I reached the sand I could see little but the
outline of the pier. The beach was completely deserted when I
changed and plunged in the water, wondering if Lorelei was asleep
under the waves. I concentrated on calling her to me and waited on
the black sea.

“
Marina?
” I didn’t hear her surface
and she startled me. I could just make out the outline of her head.
When she came closer I could see the eerie phosphorescence of her
skin. I’d seen mermaids glowing in the depths of the sea, but it
was odd to see it on the surface.

“
Lorelei!
” I cried with relief. “
Is
it too early to go surfing?
”

“
Early?
” she seemed puzzled.

“
I mean before the sun,
” I said,
gesturing up.

“
What does that have to do with
waves?
” she asked.

“
Exactly!
” I laughed, “
Do you know
a place called the point?
”

“
The point?
” she clearly didn’t.

I gestured up the coast, “
It’s got really,
really big waves and a lot of surfers
.”

She nodded, “
I know it.
”

“
Can we go now? They won’t be there!
”
my voice squeaked with excitement.

She took my board and towed me swiftly on the
inky water. Nobody would be crazy enough to be out surfing in the
dark– especially there... I would have it all to myself! I could
feel the excitement rising in my speeding heart. We arrived at the
point and I could see the monster waves even with my eyes
closed.

Lorelei laughed with a musical ring, “
You
were right! There are no wave riders!
”

I crouched down on my board and prepared to
engage, heart pounding in my ears. When I paddled out I could see
Lorelei glowing in the water just below the surface. I was reminded
of the jellyfish Ethan and I had seen at the aquarium. Shaking my
head, I banished all thoughts of Ethan and dropped down on a
tremendous black wave.

It was an adrenaline rush unlike anything I’d
ever experienced before. I had never felt so alive, fear and
excitement creating a potent cocktail of chemicals in my
bloodstream. I shut everything else out and focused on following
the glowing trail that Lorelei left in the water. When she abruptly
veered I followed suit, just missing the jagged rocks that I could
barely make out. I laughed with relief as I paddled back out to do
it again.

My human eyes adjusted to the dark as much as
they could; I realized that Lorelei could see everything clear as
day. I relied on her to keep me off the rocks, for it was
impossible to see anything in the opaque water. I wondered what it
would be like on a clear night. The moon could be bright enough to
cast shadows; surfing under a full moon would be ideal!

We surfed the giant waves until the sky
started to lighten the slightest bit.

“
Marina!
” Lorelei was nervous as she
gestured upwards, “
Look!
”

There was a flash of headlights on the top of
the bluff. Someone had arrived for an early morning surf. I
reluctantly lay down on my board as Lorelei towed me away.

“
Can we surf some more?
” she asked me
as we flew down the coast.

My enthusiasm waned as we left the giant
waves behind. Nothing could really compare to the surf at the
point.

“
Not now, maybe next time I can come out
earlier,
” I thanked her and paddled my board onto the still
dark beach.

I retrieved my bag and stared in wonder at
the completely deserted beach. Why hadn’t I ever considered it
before? As I climbed the stairs in the breaking dawn I saw the
outline of a figure sitting on the landing bench. I paused, and
continued up cautiously.

“Shayla?” I said as I drew nearer. She looked
miserable, huddled with a towel wrapped around her in the cold
morning air.

“Marina? Oh my God... Were you out in the
dark?”

“Um, I just got started a little early
today,” I said.

“No you didn’t. I’ve been sitting here since
three in the morning.”

“Yeah, well... What’s going on with you? What
are you doing out here?”

She just looked down and shook her head.

“Come on,” I said, “I’m starving. Let’s go
out and get some breakfast.”

We walked up the stairs together and I
dropped off my things, slipping in the house quietly to rinse my
face off and retrieve my purse. I was grateful for the heated seats
as I slipped into the Rover, wet hair clinging to my face and neck.
Shayla looked around at the plush leather interior and over at
me.

“Is this your aunt’s too?”

“She gave it to me for my birthday.”

“Whoa! You’re totally lucky.”

“That’s what they tell me,” I said, pulling
out of the driveway.

Funny, I didn’t feel lucky. I felt afflicted
and out of control. I tried to realize what my life looked like
through Shayla’s eyes and felt a little sheepish. Abby’s constant
reminders to express gratitude to the universe in exchange for good
karma ran through my mind. I realized how much I took for
granted.

We went to the same coffee shop that Megan
had taken me to when I was feeling awful. After some bacon and eggs
washed down with hot coffee we were both feeling a lot better.

“I forgot how great bacon was,” I leaned back
in the booth, “Abby’s a vegan.”

“A what?” asked Shayla.

“Vegan,” I said, “It’s a vegetarian that
doesn’t even eat eggs... or cheese.”

“That sucks,” she said with sympathetic
smile.

“Well, since she married Dutch she’s eased up
a lot.”

“Who?” she asked.

“Oh, you haven’t heard– she married Ethan’s
dad. They got together that day when Ethan was hurt.” I put my hand
to my head reflexively and winced.

“Really? That was fast! And she’s
pregnant...” she smiled knowingly.

“Yep,” I said.

“So why don’t they live together?” she
asked.

“Abby wants to wait ’till Cruz and I graduate
and go to college.”

“So Ethan’s gonna have a brother or sister,
and the kid will be your cousin...”

“And Ethan’s dad is my uncle.”

“Jeeze,” she said, “And I thought I was the
one who lived in a trailer park.” She looked at me with mischievous
eyes and we both started laughing.

“I think Ethan’s my cousin now too,” I added,
sending her deeper into hysterics.

“Hey, do you want to go see Megan sing at the
coffeehouse tonight? She’s coming over to get dressed this
afternoon. Me and Cruz are gonna go hang out there tonight.”

“I guess,” she said, looking down at her
dirty T-shirt and flip-flops. “But I don’t have anything to
wear.”

“Not a problem,” I said, thinking about all
the clothes I’d never even worn hanging in my closet, “We can
figure something out.” We sat drinking coffee and talking about
surfing for a long time. I tried again to explain why I wouldn’t
surf in front of the guys from school. I had to admit my excuses
sounded really lame.