Writ on Water (2 page)

Do you own golf clubs, Thomas Kincaid prints, or The Bee Gees' Greatest Hits?

   Yes

   No

Does your state of residence have the death penalty?

   Yes

   No

Do you live in Salt Lake City, Bangor, Duluth, or anywhere in California or Hawaii?

   Yes

   No

Are you a member of PETA, a country club, or the Republican Party?

   Yes

   No

Part 2

For every “yes” in this section, give yourself 1 point. For every “no,” subtract 1 point.

Do you play a musical instrument?

   Yes

   No

(If you play harpsichord, bagpipes, zither, cello, castanets or the glockenspiel, subtract 5 points)

Do you own a suit?

   Yes

   No

(You may give yourself 5 points if the suit is from two or more decades ago and stolen from the man you killed in Memphis. If it's Armani, you must subtract 5 points)

Do you have any physical infirmities that would lend themselves to a stage name (i.e. Two-Fingers or One-Eye)?

   Yes

   No