Wrecked (Stories of Serendipity #8): #8 (18 page)

Renae thought about that before answering. “I would like for him to be, but I’ve screwed things up by not telling him, and I’m not sure I can trust him not to let us down, and I’m afraid of who I am around him.” She sighed. “I just need to tell him and get it over with. See where we go from there.” Speaking the revelations aloud felt cathartic.

Alyssa leaned back, her own bite of pie in her mouth. Around her mouthful, she said, “It must be rough. You just got Kelly out of the house, and now you’re planning on a new arrival. No alone time for Renae.”

“Nope. It’s all right though… I don’t think I’m one of those people who actually likes being alone with myself. I haven’t been able to settle since Kelly’s been gone.”

“Yeah, but jumping out and getting pregnant probably wasn’t the best way to deal with that.” Alyssa was smirking good-naturedly, and Renae gave her a half-hearted kick under the table.

“I know.” She used her fork to sweep up the final crumbs before putting the last bite in her mouth. “You know? Protection never once occurred to me. Not even afterward. I am well acquainted with the birds and the bees, yet it never occurred to me to ask him to put on a condom. I guess he just assumed I was on the pill. It was so strange. We just got so… caught up in things.” She looked at her lap, afraid her memories of “things” from that night were written all over her face for her sister-in-law to see. To her lap, she mumbled, “That’s what I mean by being afraid of who I am around him…”

“Hormonal warfare.”

“What?”

“Hormonal warfare. Hormones are evil little buggers who are out to get us. Lust, periods, pregnancy, you just can’t win. I swear, now that I’m older, sex is so much different than when I was younger. It’s better, for sure. All that talk about a woman’s sexual peak in her thirties, I used to balk at, but now I believe it. Poor Dalton can’t keep up as much as he tries.”

“Whoah… ‘Lyssa. That’s my brother, remember?”

“Yeah, I’m just trying to give you a little perspective. There’s something going on in our bodies right now, and I don’t understand it. You’re in the shitty position of being single, and now you’re pregnant, so there’s the hormonal stuff on top of the normal stupid relationship bull crud.” She pushed her plate back. “I don’t envy you right now, but just know that if Jason turns into an asshole when you tell him, we’ll be here for you.”

With those words, a weight lifted from Renae’s shoulders. She smiled at Alyssa, and they stood and hugged.

Tuesday evening, Renae texted Jason.

Kelly’s coming into town tomorrow and leaving Thanksgiving evening. I’ve got to work Friday, and was wondering if we could do something Friday after I get off work?

His response was almost immediate, and Renae caught herself picturing him lying in bed, bare-chested with a lazy grin on his face.

I would love that. Let me make the plans, okay?

That would be fine, but plan some time to talk in there, please.

Good talk or bad talk?

Honestly, that depends on you.

I’ll try not to be worried by those words.

She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she chose not to. Putting her phone away, she rolled over in bed and tried to go to sleep.

Thursday came, and the small dinner of chicken and dressing Renae fixed for herself and Kelly was adequate. Kelly didn’t care much for turkey, and Renae didn’t know what to do with fourteen pounds of leftovers, so she had always just made chicken instead of the traditional huge meal. It had always paid off on their Black Friday endeavors, and tonight as she cleared the dishes from the table, she ignored the pang of sorrow at missing the tradition now that Kelly had a job.

Her baby was grown. She needed to treat her as a grown up.

“Put your dishes in the sink, I’ll get them later. I wanted to talk to you. I have some news.”

Her daughter’s cheery smile warmed Renae’s gloomy outlook, and she said a silent prayer that she would take the news of becoming a big sister well.

The weather had taken a turn for the chilly, and Kelly had built a fire in the fireplace as soon as she’d gotten there, insisting it stay lit for the duration of her stay. Renae made some hot cocoa and sat next to Kelly on the couch, dreading the time two hours from now when she would leave again.

“I made a mistake, one I hope you never make. And now, when I should be planning my future as an empty-nester, I’m going to have a baby.”

There. She’d said it. And now she waited, holding her breath for her reaction.

Kelly threw her arms around her mother and squeezed hard. “That’s awesome news! I’m going to have a baby brother or sister! I can’t wait! When are you due? Who’s the father? Is it Les? What does he think? Are you getting married?”

“Hold up, Kelly. One at a time, kay? I’m due in June. You don’t know the father, yet. But I hope you can stay for a little while at Christmas and get to know him. It’s not Les, ew…And I haven’t told him yet.”

Kelly’s eyes immediately went to Renae’s stomach, and she held out her hand. “Can I touch?”

“Sure. There’s no difference yet, but knock yourself out.”

“Why haven’t you told him yet? How did you meet him?”

Deciding to go for the edited version, Renae said, “It’s Joe O’Niel’s son, and I haven’t told him because the timing’s been all wrong. I’m going to tell him Friday, though. But I wanted to tell you in person and couldn’t wait until Christmas.”

“Which room are you going to give it?”

Kelly continued peppering her with questions, most of which Renae couldn’t answer yet. With her hand on Renae’s belly, she spoke into it while talking to Renae, and she couldn’t help but feel a strange tugging in her belly at the young woman’s excitement about her pregnancy. It made everything seem so much more real, and Renae couldn’t stop the guilt in her gut at not telling Jason. Tomorrow. She had to tell him tomorrow and face the consequences.

“Mom…”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“You did a great job raising me. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother, you know that, right?”

Unease twisted inside Renae as she nodded. Looking at Kelly right now, she saw a much younger version of herself, but her daughter was grown now. And that gave the words coming out of her mouth a surreal quality Renae didn’t know how to deal with.

“Dad had issues, and I don’t know Mr. O’Niel’s son, but if he’s willing to help you, you should let him. That’s all I think I’m going to say right now. Okay?”

Wow. “What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me?” Renae hadn’t intended to show her insecurities to her daughter, but they’d just spilled out of her mouth.

“Then he’s not worth being a part of the baby’s life. You did it once already, and it’ll be hard. But you can do it, Mom.” Her words buoyed Renae more than they had a right to. She was the mother. She was supposed to be dispensing the advice. Not the other way around.

They continued talking about the baby, and Kelly practically redecorated the guest room out loud with items from the department store she was working at. Renae let her, smiling to herself at the young woman’s enthusiasm.

The evening was over all too soon, and when Kelly left, Renae felt her absence like a physical twist in her gut. She wandered around the house, absently looking in all the rooms, straightening pillows, smoothing blankets, thinking.

Her thoughts were wrapped around Jason and her hopes for the conversation. She told herself she didn’t want a proposal out of it. She’d been there already, and it had been an extremely ill-fated marriage. She didn’t want that again. If Cody had lived, she probably would have divorced him eventually, but that didn’t erase the fact she’d married him in the first place.

No, Renae wanted Jason to be part of the baby’s life, an active part. He’d been the perfect man to date, and she hadn’t seen anything that would make him a bad father. She just hoped his perfection would overlap into the fatherhood thing. But she wouldn’t know until she told him.

F
riday came, and Jason had everything set up he thought he needed for his evening of romance. He’d done the dinner thing with her, and it had gone well. Now he would try something new, and hopefully he could get Renae’s walls down for good so they could find out where they were going.

The bank closed at four thirty, and Jason was waiting on his bike outside when she walked out at four forty-five. She looked stunning in her Friday business casual attire: flat front khaki pants and a polo shirt with the Serendipity bank logo on it. Circles shone under her eyes, but she looked radiant nonetheless.

“Hey, beautiful,” he greeted her, handing her a helmet.

She took it and smiled, wrapping her arms around his torso and climbing up behind him like an old pro.

He didn’t have to pull her closer. She seemed eager to touch him, as she leaned forward and rested her breasts against his back. He felt her inhale deeply before he stood and kicked the bike to life. With a roar, they were off to the lake.

It was actually a reservoir for Serendipity’s water supply, but it was used for recreational purposes. He’d asked some of his customers and gotten a little help with the preparations of the afternoon. He could only cross his fingers at this point and hope for the best.

Jason took the long way, twisty black-topped roads that wound around the lake, enjoying the feel of the woman behind him. She squeezed his waist and leaned into him as well as with him. He could go as fast as he liked and wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable with her riding with him. The last woman he’d given a ride to had squealed and shrieked in his ear the entire time, leaving him completely on edge. Renae wasn’t like that. It was as if she was as one with the machine as he was.

When he pulled up to the spot on the lake he’d chosen, everything was still where he’d left it that afternoon. He looked over and waved to his new friend Cade, who was fishing with a cane pole, nursing a six pack while he kept an eye on Jason’s things.

He made a Vanna White gesture towards the canoe loaded down with an ice chest, blanket, and assorted items, leading Renae over to it.

“Get in, I’ll push us off.”

“We’re going canoeing?”

Nodding, he helped her get in and sit in the middle. “Stay low. Keep your center of gravity as low as possible to keep it from tipping.”

“I’ve been in a canoe before, it’s just a surprise, is all.” Her voice was soft and breathy. Jason looked at her face before pushing off shore and saw wonder in her eyes. Good. Just the effect he was looking for. He was trying to keep her on her toes.

“Then you know how to paddle?”

She snorted, that adorable noise in the back of her throat, and he nodded toward the paddle next to her. “We’re headed over to that spot across the lake.” Pointing, he said, “Over where all those willow trees are.”

Renae nodded and started paddling. Jason paddled as well, correcting the course of the canoe when they drifted off center. They worked well together, neither of them getting winded or anxious. Renae continued facing him, not watching where she was paddling, keeping her eyes on him. He liked that.

He showed off a little. Paddling a little faster than necessary, wanting to give off a sense of power. Machismo, that’s all it was, but he enjoyed watching her eyes on his biceps as he moved the paddle through the water.