Word and Breath (16 page)

It took him just a moment to decide. He couldn’t give her his feelings for Riana—they were too new, too uncertain, and they would be ripped from him in just a moment anyway.

So he offered her something else. A memory.

His memory of Canning Square yesterday and how bravely the man she loved had died.

Mikel had seen the whole thing, but he didn’t offer the parts of his memory that would sicken her—the blood and the panic and the gore. He showed her instead the courage Talon had shown, the way he’d protected Riana even as he was dying. A picture of sacrificial heroism Mikel hadn’t believed really existed before yesterday.

He offered this truth to Tava with his memory, his respect, and his newly formed admiration for Talon.

Mikel showed her a simple truth. The man she loved had been worth loving.

When he’d finished, tears were streaming down Tava’s smooth cheeks, although her eyes were still open and her breathing was mostly even.

Riana shifted again beside him. “Are you all right? Tava?”

Sniffing, Tava nodded. “I’m fine.” She met Mikel’s eyes and he could read her thank-you not in their connection but in her expression.

So Mikel offered her something else—so she would know for sure he was in this all the way, that he wasn’t holding anything back.

He offered her his only memory of his mother.

Tava accepted it with such grace and skill that he didn’t feel as vulnerable as he’d feared.

To his relief, she didn’t dwell on it. She just nodded at him in acceptance of the memory and then said to Riana, “We can start. He’s in this for real.”

Riana opened her mouth, as if she wanted to speak, but still looked a little scared and uncertain.

Mikel wanted absurdly to comfort her, but this was hardly the time to act on such an irrational urge.

Tava started the questioning instead. “Is this your apartment?”

“No. It’s owned by the Union. I’ve been using it this week for my assignment.” It wasn’t even hard—telling the truth like this. It had been a long time since Mikel had even tried to be open with other people, so he was vaguely surprised.

“And what is your assignment?” Tava’s question again.

“I was hired by the Union’s Office of Public Safety in Newtown to get close to Riana and retrieve information from her.”

“What information?” Riana leaned closer to him as she spoke her first words. She was wearing her braids again, and she flipped one impatiently over her shoulder.

“I wasn’t given specifics. I was supposed to find out anything you know connected to the Front, your skills as a Reader, and your grandfather.”

Riana sat back abruptly as she considered his answer.

Tava spoke again. “Have you given any information to the Union about Riana?”

“No. Nothing except early reports that I was getting closer to her.” He paused, remembering the one other thing he’d told Largan. “And I also reported that I didn’t think she was involved in anything covert—that there wasn’t any conscious deception in her.”

He felt slightly uncomfortable by the admission, like he’d revealed his feelings even in such an innocuous statement.

He felt more uncomfortable when he noticed Riana looking at him appraisingly.

“Who in the Union is your immediate supervisor?” Tava asked.

Mikel thought it was an odd question, but he answered it anyway, glad of the distraction. “There’s a General Overseer of the Soul-Breathers, but we for the most part handle our own business. Different officials call us up individually with their needs, and we get paid separately for each assignment. My employer in this assignment was initially Smyde in the Office of Readers. But then Largan, the Director of Public Safety in Newtown, took over. I’ve worked for him several times before.”

“Did you have anything to do with the shooting yesterday?” Riana asked the question. Tava already knew the answer.

“No,” Mikel said, his voice low and even. “I was there, so I saw it. But I had no knowledge of it before it happened. I have no idea who is responsible for it. And I never would have had anything to do with such a thing.”

Riana shifted her eyes to Tava, who nodded like she was affirming his words.

Her face relaxing just a little, Riana asked, “Did you have anything to do with what happened to my sister? Do you know where she is?”

“I don’t.” Mikel met Riana’s eyes, holding her gaze as he told her the truth. “I wish I did. I wish I could help you find her. But I had no idea she was going to be kidnapped, and I have no idea who did it. I don’t know where she is.” He paused. Then took the emotional risk to say, “I’d like to help you find her, if you’ll let me.”

Riana’s lips softened. He was sure he hadn’t mistaken it.

But this wasn’t over yet. Tava had more questions for him. “Are you planning to report back to Captain Largan on your assignment?”

Mikel took a breath, realizing he was about to have to make those decisions he’d been thinking about before. “If I don’t report back at all, I’ll become an enemy of the state—which wouldn’t do anyone any good. But I can report back in ways that help Riana. I’m not going to turn her in, if that’s what you’re asking.”

It was. He could see it on her face. “And you’re not planning to turn her in or betray her later on?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

This part wasn’t so easy. In fact, nearly everything inside him resisted answering the question. But he had to. If he ever wanted to help Riana, he had to answer this honestly.

So he forced himself to say, “Because I like her. Because I don’t want her to be hurt.” He could feel Riana’s eyes on him, but he didn’t dare to look over at her.

“So this is about her and not about a shift in allegiances?”

It was a sharp question and a clever one. It surprised Mikel so much he simply answered without thinking. “Of course. I’ve never pretended to have a sudden loyalty to the Front. But I’ve never been particularly loyal to the Union either. My allegiance has generally been to myself. But, yes, if I help, I’d be doing it for Riana.”

“But why?”

It was Riana, and her weak question was helpless and utterly bewildered.

Mikel didn’t know what to say. He’d hardly thought everything through himself. How could he possibly explain it to her?

Finally, he muttered, “I’ve never met anyone like you before. And, for the first time, I feel like I don’t want to just look out for myself.”

He cringed inwardly at how stupid he’d sounded. But, when he looked up, Riana was peering at Tava with an anxious expression, as if she were desperate to get confirmation of his words.

Tava nodded her head. “He’s telling the truth. No question.”

Riana sat back, and Mikel could tell she’d had her questions answered.

It hadn’t been as bad as he’d feared—just a few uncomfortable moments but nothing that had pulled him apart the way it might have.

He wasn’t a fool. He knew it had been as painless as it was because both Tava and Riana were generous and weren’t out to rip him to shreds.

Without realizing what he was doing, he sent out his gratitude to Tava through their connection.

Her face reflected surprise, then understanding. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with here,” she murmured, to him alone. “Don’t judge everyone by who you’ve known before.”

“What?” Riana asked, looking from one to the other. “What do you mean?”

“Later,” Tava said—not unkindly.

Mikel realized then that her hold on the connection was weakening. He’d been surprised by her skill, but she wasn’t as strong or experienced a Breather as he was.

So he exerted more of himself into the connection, relieving some of the strain on her.

They couldn’t keep this open indefinitely though. They’d have to finish it up quickly.

“Thank you,” Tava whispered to him. Then she turned to Riana. “Do you have any more questions?”

Riana shook her head, looking dazed and exhausted.

Tava had obviously been prepped beforehand. Whoever was in charge of the movement had given her certain questions to ask.

The Librarian. The leader of the Front. Mikel had heard stories about him and remembered sneering at the name. But the man couldn’t be a fool—not if he’d organized a movement as large and successful as the Front. It might be his strategy at work here in the room, his questions voiced now by Tava.

“Are you willing to help the Front?”

Mikel blinked. “If that’s the best way to help Riana.”

“That’s not good enough. In order to help Riana find her sister, you’re going to have to work with us. Will you be loyal to the Front with what you learn in the process?”

Swallowing, Mikel made the decision. He was too far gone now to make any other. “Yes. As long as it’s understood that I’m not part of the movement. I’m helping Riana. Unless she tells me otherwise, I’ll keep any secrets I learn.”

“Do you have any other allegiances—besides yourself and Riana—that would interfere with your loyalty to the Front?”

“No. None. I’ve never been an idealist.”

“When you discover certain people who are involved in the movement, will you protect their identity?”

“Yes. When I said I’d keep your secrets, I meant all of them.”

Tava’s face changed, and the intensity he could sense in the connection eased up a bit. Apparently, he’d passed the main tests.

Maybe they were almost finished with this.

“Does Captain Largan trust you?”

This one surprised him. He had to think about it before he answered. “Yes. I think so.”

“Explain your hesitance.”

“I have no reason to believe he doesn’t trust me. He doesn’t like me, and I think I make him uncomfortable. But I’m certain he doesn’t question my loyalty. He knows I’m mercenary, and he pays me a lot.”

“Can you really open a connection light enough that the target doesn’t realize what you’re doing?”

Mikel smiled as he realized that this wasn’t one of the pre-prepared questions. Tava genuinely just wanted to know.

“Yes,” he told her. “I’ll help you learn how to do it, if you want.”

He’d never offered to do anything like that before. He was proud of his own abilities, and he’d mostly just hoarded them for himself.

He respected Tava, however, and he appreciated her consideration in this connection.

He couldn’t think of any reason not to help her develop her abilities.

“Okay,” Tava said, relaxing visibly. “That’s all I have.” She looked at Riana questioning. “Shall we end it?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Mikel wasn’t sure if Riana was thanking just Tava or both of them.

He pulled his hand away at the same time Tava did hers, and the connection severed cleanly, despite Tava’s mental fatigue.

“All right then,” Tava said, turning to Riana immediately, “You heard the truth from him. You can trust him as much as you can anyone. What do you want to do now?”

“I want to get my sister back.”

“We’re all ready to help you do that. How do you want to start?”

This must have been part of the prepared strategy too. The wisdom in placing the responsibility, the choices, on Riana alone at this particular moment didn’t feel as much like Tava as it did the person who’d prepped her for this encounter.

Mikel really wanted to meet that person.

Apparently, he and Riana were like-minded in more than one way. “I want to meet the Librarian.”

The words out of context sounded ridiculous—but, knowing the context and the rumors surrounding the unknown force behind the Front, the words instead seemed inevitable.

But clearly Tava hadn’t expected that. “What?”

“The Librarian. The leader. I want to meet him. I want answers about a lot of things, and I want to get them from him. I’m tired of having things happen to me without knowing why. I’m not going to let that happen anymore.”

Riana looked tired and determined and impossibly stubborn. She wasn’t going to back down.

Tava saw it too. “All right. I’ll have to talk to him first. He has his own reasons for staying in the shadows. Do you want to stay here for now?” She glanced over at Mikel with obvious intent. “You’re welcome to stay at my place if you’d rather.”

Riana looked at Mikel too. She moistened her lips and said, “I’ll stay here.”

Mikel wanted to sigh in relief, but he managed not to convey his feelings.

After a few more minutes of concluding conversation, Tava and the unnamed, armed men left.

Mikel immediately turned to Riana, putting his hand on her arm, “Riana, please say you believe me now.”

She pulled her arm away. The move was gentle but it still stung. “I believe you. I don’t really have a choice.” Her face twisted. “My mind trusts you. But I don’t think my…my…I don’t
feel
like I trust you again. Yet. Does that made sense?”