Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) (24 page)

"I
figured that, Tye." Her father moved forward to meet her and enclosed her
in a one-armed bear hug, then held her away from him as he studied her, his
eyes narrowed against the sun.

Tye felt
as if her cheeks were on fire. She knew her father would have questions about
the way she had greeted Jake. Luckily, she hadn’t done anything to be
really embarrassed about! With a toss of her head, she gave him a bright smile.
"So what brings you out here? I thought you'd be somewhere down in Texas
right about now."

"I
was supposed to be, but I wasn't feeling up to par so I thought I'd look you
up, seeing as how we haven't seen each other in a long time."

Instantly,
Tye became concerned. "Are you feeling okay, Daddy?"

He gave
a gruff laugh. "I'm fine, I'm just not as young as I thought I was."

"I'm
glad you're here." She wanted to avoid the questions in his eyes. Her
relationship with Jake wasn't something she wanted to discuss with anyone,
least of all her father. It still felt too new, too full of unanswered
questions.

"I'll
leave you two alone to catch up," Jake said behind her, speaking for the
first time.

Tye
turned to him, not wanting him to leave. "You don't have to leave,
Jake," she protested, extending her hand to him. She stared hard at him,
willing him to stay here with her. Jake hesitated and his glance strayed to her
father.

"I
just need a couple minutes, Tye," her father said behind them. "We
need to do some serious talking."

Tye
swallowed, a cold feeling settling in her chest at his almost somber tone.
"Daddy, don't be silly. We've got more than a few minutes. I don't have
any plans and I expect you to stay awhile."

"I'm
going out to feed the horses," Jake said. "You two catch up on the
latest with each other." With a reassuring smile at her, he strode across
the deck and down the steps.

Tye
turned back to her father. "You could have waited until Jake left, Daddy.
You made it plain you didn't want him to hear what you had to say."

Her
father made a snorting sound. "A little plain talking never hurt anyone. I
think that boy's drawn a bead on you, Tye."

Tye
released an exasperated sigh. "I'm not a creature to be sighted in and
hunted, Daddy. Before you say anything else, what’s between Jake and me
is not up for discussion."

"I'm
your father, Tye, I have a right to know what's going on. I have a right to
know if you’ve taken up with that boy again."

Tye
swallowed her immediate retort, remembering all the times her father had not
been there when she and Ben were growing up. She had thought she'd put that
bitterness behind her, but now it wanted to swell and close up her throat.

"We’re
adults, Daddy, not kids any longer. We both know our own minds."

"I
have a right to know if you're happy or not," her father continued.
"You and Jake looked a might cozy from where I was standing. So are you
picking up where you left off way back when?"

Tye looked
up at the sky, counted to five and then said patiently, "If I am, Daddy,
it’s really not your concern." Tye didn’t want to argue with
her father, but she wasn’t willing to discuss her relationship with Jake
either. She tried to soften her tone. "So what happened that you decided
to take a few days off rodeoing?"

Lanny
stared hard at her. "I care about you Tye, and I’m worried. I was
there, remember, I know the state you were in when you and he split up."

Tye
deliberately lowered her voice. "I was the one who walked away, Daddy. It
was none of Jake’s fault. It was a long time ago. Now, what brings you to
town?"

Her
father turned and sat on the edge of one of the deck chairs. "My leg's
been aching me something fierce."

"Your
leg?" Tye moved over to him and touched his shoulder. "Have you seen
the doctor?"

"It’ll
ease up on its own."

Tye
found his reply too evasive. "It’s been bothering you for years and
I don’t remember you ever taking time off."

Her
father shifted on the chair. "I'm thinking of quitting."

"Quitting?"
Tye repeated. She couldn’t have heard him correctly. "Quitting for
the year?"

He
didn't say anything. He just stared at her, his eyes as dark brown as the
Stetson he carried in his hand.

Tye
frowned. "Not...not quitting for good?"

He
nodded, twirling his hat in his hands. "Yeah. I'm getting too damned old
to be running around the country." He gave a short bark of a laugh and his
brows rose. "I bet you never thought to hear your old man say that,
huh?"

Tye sank
down to a seat beside him, her thoughts clouded with bewilderment. "No, I
can't say I'd ever thought to hear that. Rodeo's always been your life. For as
long as I can remember, you've followed the rodeo." She knew it was more
than his life, it had consumed him, leaving room for nothing else, not even his
family.

"I'm
fifty-five years old, Tye. I've had more broken bones than I can count, and I
guess what I'm saying is I've had enough. These last few months, especially
since you got hurt, I've done some real hard thinking. Your Mama and I even did
some serious talking. I been feeling real guilty for years over the way I've
raised you and Ben. I know your Mama did most of the raising, but I've got this
idea I put foolish thoughts into your head." He let out a deep sigh,
increasing Tye's bewilderment. She felt like she was in unfamiliar territory.
Her father wasn’t acting like he was supposed to. He’d always been
a rough-and-ready cowboy. You don’t cry over spilt milk, don’t
complain about what’s already done.

"What
are you saying, Daddy?"

"You're
just like me, Tye. All you want is the next buckle, the next trophy. You should
have a family and kids around you before it's too late."

"I
didn't want that." At least, she amended silently, not after she and Jake
had parted.

"Maybe
you would have, if I hadn't put other thoughts in your head. I'm taking full
blame. Darn it, girl, I don't want you to turn out like your old man."

"I
make my own decisions, Daddy. There's no blame to be laid anywhere."

"You're
headstrong," he said as if she hadn't spoken, giving her a somewhat sad
smile. "I have to tell you now, Tye, because I know I've never said it
before, but you've always made me proud. No matter what you've decided to do
with your life, I've always been proud of you."

Tye
turned away, confused by the way her father was talking. It didn't sound like
him, but here he was as bold as day, saying words she had never thought to hear
from this man. As far back as Tye could recall they had never spoken of what
was inside their hearts, never touched on the deep down feelings. Tye suddenly
felt his vulnerability, and her own emotions seemed to be just as naked.

"Daddy,
I thought I disappointed you all these years," she admitted in a low
voice. "I couldn't make the grade, no matter how close I got I never
reached the finals."

"You
could never disappoint me. You're my wild child."

"There
you go calling me that!" She said in exasperation, throwing her head up.
"I've always known how much you wanted me to succeed at rodeo, you didn't
have to say the words. The finals would have been the culmination of those
dreams."

"I
only wanted that because it's all you ever talked about from the time you were
little. You had the guts and determination to ride anything."

Because that's what you put in my head when I was a kid
.
Children were impressionable, and maybe Daddy was right about it being partly
his fault, but she was an adult now with a mind of her own. Tye stared at him,
her mind trying to grapple with what he was saying.

"Tye,
I'm no good at words, you know that. I’ve always lived by the seat of my
pants. I'm apologizing now for all the mistakes I've made. I know I haven't
done a good job as a parent for you and Ben." He dropped his chin and
shook his head. "I haven't seen Ben since that time in the hospital when
you got hurt. I still remember the anger on his face. I knew then he blamed me
for what happened to you." He twisted his hat in his work-worn hands.

"He
had no right to do that!" Tye exclaimed.

"I’m
thinking maybe he did, but it’s something I have to work out with your
brother. I'm going to try, if he’ll listen."

Tye let
out a deep whoosh of air, feeling as if a weight had been lightened from her
shoulders. It was suddenly glaringly obvious to her that all these years she
had been trying to make him proud, and felt like she had never succeeded. Why
had it taken her this long to realize she had to live for herself, not for
someone else's dreams? She had thought she was doing it for herself...

"I'll
be happy for you, Tye, no matter what. If you decide to make a go of it with
Jake, fill this house with babies, I’ll be happy."

Tye felt
overcome with emotion, a constriction gripping her insides. She leaned close
and hugged her daddy, because he was her daddy and she loved him dearly and he
loved her.

Lanny
awkwardly patted her shoulder and cleared his throat. "Yeah...well, that's
what I wanted to tell you and I've said my piece so now I'll be heading
out."

Tye
stood with her father. She stepped back and took a good look at his handsome, familiar
face. Despite what had been said, she still had an unsatisfied feeling that
something wasn’t right. Wetting her lips, she said, "Now, Daddy,
tell me the real reason you're giving up rodeo."

Lanny
hit his hat against his pant leg. "I'm getting tired, Tye, we just went
over all that ―"

"The
real reason," she repeated, fear reaching out to curl around her. That
feeling of something being amiss had intensified.

Her
daddy's face went still and Tye watched his fingers clench his hat brim until
it twisted. She waited, a deep, deep anxiety taking hold of her insides.

A rueful
grin curved Daddy's mouth, yet she noticed the vague relief in his eyes.
"I've got cancer," he said. "They're giving me six months."

#

As Jake
left the barn he saw the tail lights of Lanny Jenkins's banged up, rusted
pickup truck heading down his driveway. It was almost dusk. The brake lights
blinked a few times, then the truck turned onto the main road and disappeared
into the night.

Jake
strode quickly to the house. He and Lanny had talked before Tye arrived home.
Surprisingly, Lanny had told him he was leaving rodeo and he wanted to know if
it was true that his daughter was practically living with Jake. Jake didn't
know where Lanny had come by his information, but he seemed to have a pretty
good idea of what Tye had been up to since moving to the ranch.

Jake had
kept his replies guarded, until Lanny had confessed he needed to go to his
grave knowing his only daughter was happy. It was then Lanny told him he had
been diagnosed with cancer.

Jake
entered the house, switching the lights on as he went. When he flipped the
kitchen switch he saw Tye. She sat on the couch, her feet on the floor, elbows
on her knees, with her head in her hands. The sight wrenched at Jake.

He moved
toward her, wanting to hold her and take care of her. He stopped a good two
feet from the couch. The years they’d been apart had made her into a
strong, independent woman, but it was also that independence that rose up now,
making him feel as if a chasm separated them.

"Tye
― are you okay?"

She
speared her fingers through her hair and lifted her head to stare at him.
"You know?" she asked dully. Her voice sounded thick, as if she had
been crying. Jake hadn’t seen her cry in ten years, certainly not since
the accident. Seeing her puffy eyes now made it all the worse. She cried for
her father but he had never seen her cry for herself.

He
swallowed hard and nodded. "He was worried about you, Tye, he wanted to
see for himself that you were okay."

"He
wanted to know if I was okay?" she asked incredulously, chokingly.

Damning
the consequences, Jake dropped beside her and pulled her close with one arm
around her shoulders. Whether she admitted it or not in this moment right now
she needed him. He felt the shake of her body, the quiver of her breath as it
labored from her lungs. She tried to hold back the emotion, he sensed that, and
he wished she could let it go. Tye held too much inside herself. She curled
into him, twisting around until she burrowed into his chest. Jake put both arms
around her, trying to give her the comfort she sought.

"It's
okay if you want to cry," he said gruffly.

"I
don't cry," she muttered against his throat. "I just need you to hold
me. I still can't believe it. After all these years, Daddy's giving up rodeo.
Why now?" she demanded angrily. She raised her head, her cheeks
tear-stained and red. "Why did he wait so long? He's going to die and he
finally decides enough is enough."

"Maybe
he realized all he's missed. He told me what he regretted the most was that he
wasn't close to you and Ben."

Tye
tipped her head back, a grimace of pain flashing across her face. "That's
an understatement. I don't think I could ever claim to feel close to Daddy
except when we were rodeoing. That seemed to be the only connection I had with
him. Poor Ben didn't even have that. Maybe that's why I'm such a rodeo
diehard." Tye shook her head, and Jake rubbed a palm over her shoulder
blades, feeling the delicate bones beneath the skin.

"Your
father loves you, Tye, and he loves Ben, too."

"Do
you think I don't know?" she demanded fiercely. "He loved us, when he
was around. As I got older I got mad for Mama's sake. It was confusing. I loved
Daddy, but Mama's the one on that ranch day after day, breeding those bulls for
rodeo, trying to make ends meet. She did a man’s job, put in a
man’s hours, and she tended to us, a couple wild hellions. Daddy wasn't
around. He hurt her bad, he hurt all of us. And you know what, Jake...I feel
guilty about the anger inside me. I've carried it around for so long, half the
time I didn't know it was there. Even after all this I couldn't hurt him by
letting him see it. I wanted to tell him how mad I was at him, for what he took
away from us, but I couldn’t."