Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) (17 page)

"Sometimes
the words have to be said."

Tye
placed her palm flat against his ribs. "What are you telling me?"

One of
his hands captured hers and his long fingers splayed her fingers wide.
"All I’m saying is we've got all kinds of time."

"I'm
impatient by nature," Tye admitted, smiling. She’d always lived for
the here and now, damn the consequences.

Jake
smoothed her hair out, spreading the wet strands over the cushion.
"Believe me, I feel the same way."

"But?"
Tye tensed, a slow spiral of emotion settling in the pit of her stomach.

He let
out a deep breath and his gaze met hers. "Maybe we're not ready to take
this step."

The
words were a dash of cold on the hot emotions surging through Tye. She tried to
stay calm, but a certain hurt wended its way through her.

"If
you’re having doubts, Jake, just come out and say so." She moved to
sit up, but Jake's hand cupped her shoulder and held her still.

"Hang
on a minute, don't get riled up."

Tye felt
a sting inside, an abrupt coil of tension. "Well, what do you suggest? I'm
ready to take this further, but you're not."

"Oh,
no, you've got that wrong, sweetheart. I'm ready to go as far as you
need." His voice was calm, the words slow and measured, lessening the
sting Tye felt. "I want you to consider this: we've barely spoken to each
other in two weeks, hardly even seen each other...and here we are with suddenly
nothing between us but some words." His gaze moved over her bare breasts
as if to emphasize his words.

"We
ignite, and right now that feels like enough. I want to find out where it can
go. I’m ready to take that step." Tye felt like a defiant teenager.
She took a deep breath and tried to get a grip on her emotions. She had never
been good at containing emotion.

Jake put
a fraction more space between them and gripped the back of his neck with one
hand. "I don't want the mere fact of passion bringing us together."
He shook his head with disgust. "Geez, I can’t believe I’m
saying this."

Tye bit
on her knuckles. "Let’s cut to the chase. The fact is neither one of
us can forget what happened before."

"I'm
not trying to forget anything. All I'm saying is if we get involved,
we’re both adult enough to realize it’s a matter of body
chemistry." Jake gave an exasperated sound. "Hell, I don’t
know. Call it unfinished business. Maybe we both need to carry this to the next
step and then it’ll be played out like it should have been ten years
ago."

"So
you’re saying we should have an affair, get this thing that’s plaguing
both of us out of our systems." Tye felt a piece of her heart shrivel. Her
skin felt clammy, the night air suddenly too cool.

"I’m
not sure what I’m saying. You mean a lot to me, Tye, otherwise this
situation here and now would never materialize. You’ve always been under
my skin. I'm the type of man who can’t ignore that."

Tye bit
back the cry of despair that wanted out. "You make me sound like a sliver
you need to extricate." Tye put up a hand and pushed herself back from
Jake. "I take life one day at a time, Jake, even more so since the
accident. But even I draw the line at a relationship that sounds so cold and
clinical."

Blindly,
Tye reached for a towel. With shaky fingers she pulled her bathing suit back
into place and wrapped herself in the towel. The air had a bite in it. Damn!
She felt like she was back to square one; vulnerable and exposed.

"There’s
nothing cold and clinical about any relationship we’ll ever have."
Jake said dryly. He stared at her until Tye met his gaze. Heat leapt up her neck
and into her face. She knew he was right, but now the mood had changed.

Jake
stood up and disappeared into the shadows. When he returned, his jeans clung to
his lean legs damply. Tye watched him, a feeling of sadness overcoming her. He
had been right about one thing; they would have been good together. A part of
her ached because she knew that wasn't going to happen. He wanted something she
couldn't give. A promise to walk away and not want more. Isn’t that what
he was outlining in black and white? Sleep together, get rid of this bothersome
desire and then they could each go their separate ways. Six months ago Tye
might have pulled that off. Taken what Jake offered and walked away with head
held high. But not now. Lies and deceit had a way of coming back to you. She
had seen it first hand with her own family. She couldn’t pretend she
didn’t love him.

Jake
walked over to the pool and retrieved her crutches. As he handed them to her,
Tye smiled regretfully, hiding her pain.

"I
do have to admire you, Jake, any other man wouldn't have thought twice about
taking what was offered." Her heart didn’t want any other man.

"The
door isn't closed, Tye."

The
words caused a shivery sensation to delve down her back, but she made no move
toward him. She couldn’t tell him she loved him. She’d feel like
she was pleading for him to make love with her. Obviously, he no longer loved
her. It was ten years too late for her to come to her senses.

Throwing
the towel over her shoulder, Tye made her way to the door of her apartment. On
the threshold, she threw Jake one last glance. "I can't believe you're
doing this," she said. "I can't believe I'm letting you."

Jake
groaned and muttered, "I can't believe it either." But he stayed
where he was on the opposite side of the patio.

Tye closed
her door, shutting out Jake as he stood there, silhouetted against the overhead
light.

#

With a
muttered curse Jake stood by the pool, staring at the gentle ripple of the
water. Why had he brought things which had been so hot between he and Tye, to a
grinding halt?  It’s what he wanted. Once he and Tye were together,
he could get her out of his system. Why delay the inevitable?

Jake
unbuttoned his jeans again. He needed to ease the stiffness in his shoulders
and the regret in his gut. Now, more than ever he had to deplete the adrenaline
still pumping through him. He would swim until exhaustion made him stop. How
many nights had he swum out here since Tye arrived? Jake had lost count. Damn!
He must be seven kinds of a fool. Hadn’t he learned his lesson the hard
way? Tye might like to play, but when it came time to pay, she was out the
door. He had called a halt to their lovemaking because he didn’t want her
hurt. Jake felt as if he were in danger of getting too wrapped up in her life.
It had happened once, how could he think about caring for her again? When she
was ready, she’d leave again. History repeating itself.

Maybe he
was too old-fashioned, but he had been brought up to believe women needed and
wanted to be taken care of. His family...his sisters were prime examples. He
had been taking care of them for so long, it was second nature. It suddenly
struck Jake that in the last several weeks, however, his sisters hadn't asked
him to fix any problems. He had talked to them at various times, but they hadn’t
asked him for a thing. Strange.

Tye
wasn't anything like his sisters, she had made that abundantly clear. She was
determined to make her own decisions. She didn't welcome his help over the
rough spots. Jake knew Tye wouldn’t hesitate to walk away again. She
hadn’t changed. She would return to rodeo. That had always been the plan.
Jake wasn’t going to be the one hurting this time. He could go into this
affair with his eyes wide open. No expectations, just take what was offered and
enjoy it for the time it lasted. Two weeks or two months. If it came down to an
affair, he could handle it. He’d get two things. He’d get Tye
Jenkins out of his system and he’d get his life back. That's what
he’d wanted all along.

#

Several
nights later Tye looked out her front window for what was probably the
hundredth time, then walked through the living room and into the kitchen.
Nervously, her gaze scanned the bags of pretzels, chips and party mix on her
kitchen counter. She pulled open the refrigerator and looked again at the liters
of soda and six packs of beer.

Letting
the refrigerator door swing shut, Tye turned and leaned against it, pushing her
shaking hands together. "This is ridiculous," she muttered. "I'm
a basket case, all because I haven't seen my friends in umpteen months, and now
they're all going to be here tonight." She pushed herself away from the
solid support of the refrigerator and walked across the living room floor.
"They're my friends, for God's sakes! It's not like they're suddenly an
unknown entity. Why am I acting like this?"

Tye was
disgusted with her clammy hands and rubbed them down the sides of her jeans.
Why be nervous? She had decided, in true Jenkins fashion, to invite all her
friends back into her life at once. It had only taken a couple phone calls to
start the process. An open invitation had been extended to her friends to come
to her place for a get-together. She had kept them at bay for months and
months, but now she felt the time was right to let them back in. She had to
face them, answer their questions if necessary, and get on with the business of
living. Tye supposed her nervousness stemmed from the fact that she had
deliberately kept them away and she wasn't sure now if they'd even show up.

Tye jumped
when several knocks sounded at the front door. Before she could turn the knob,
the door swung inward and she heard a familiar voice exclaim, "Tye! It's
been so long!"

Her
friend Denny Moran moved forward and threw her arms around her. Having dreaded
and looked forward to this moment for so long, Tye felt a tightness close
around her throat as they hugged, the embrace light and quick.

Denny
stepped back, her dark eyes running over Tye. She met her gaze once more and
gave Tye a big grin. "God, you look good, Tye. It's seems like forever
since we've been together..." Denny's voice trailed off and Tye knew
immediately she was thinking of the night of her accident, the last time they
had seen each other.

"I
know," Tye said lightly. "I've missed everyone so much. I'm so glad
you came tonight."

Another
friend, Lynn Barr, rushed up behind Denny. Short and sassy, Lynn made up in
enthusiasm what she lacked in size. "A party! I told Denny you'd be back
in the swing of things!" she said happily. "I knew you couldn’t
stay away."

"It's
great to see you guys," Tye said affectionately. She brushed Lynn's red
curls lightly. "I heard you won big last week?"

Even
though she didn't participate right now in rodeo, Tye had made a point of
keeping up on the news. There was an awkward silence, then Lynn nodded, her
eyes dropping down Tye's jean-clad leg. Quickly, she looked back up to Tye's
face.

"Yeah,
no big deal. If you'd been there, I wouldn't have had a chance at the big
money." Quickly, she added, "Do you think you'll ever come back,
Tye?"

Tye saw
the way Denny dug her elbow into Lynn's side. Tye shrugged her shoulders and
laughed, surprised to realize it didn't hurt as much as she had feared to hear
such a question. A twinge of regret, maybe, but not a real angry hurt, not the
way she had felt after the amputation.

"Well,
who knows? My doctor hasn't given me an answer on that one yet, but there's all
kinds of possibilities. Right now, I'm concentrating on getting back into the
swing of daily living. I've started riding again, and everything seems to be
falling into place. Any news I should know about?"

A small
grin appeared on Denny's face. "Maybe."

Lynn
moved closer. "I knew she couldn't wait to spill her guts. She's seeing a
guy ―"

"Lynn,
don't you dare tell," Denny said hurriedly, twisting sideways to clap a
hand over Lynn's mouth.

Lynn
gave Tye a slow wink, then pulled Denny's hand away from her mouth.

"What
shouldn't she tell?" Tye asked, curious.

"I'm
seeing someone," Denny admitted.

"And
that's big news? What happened to Johnny?" Tye asked with a sly grin. It
was no secret that Denny was a woman who loved men.

"He
ran out of money in Tulsa and I told him I'd had enough. I got tired of taking
second place to his rowdy habits, so I split."

"I
know our Denny here changes boyfriends more often than a horse changes
leads," Lynn butted in, "but this is different. She still hasn't
brought this guy around to introduce him to the crowd." Lynn rolled her
eyes dramatically. "She did promise she might invite him along tonight,
but he hasn't shown yet."

"He
doesn't rodeo, he's different than the rest of us," Denny said
defensively. "I wanted to wait awhile before he got a handle on the rest
of you. I don’t want you all to scare him away."

Tye got
an odd feeling from Denny's words. Was Denny in a similar situation to herself,
attracted to a man from a totally different background? How could she expect it
to work out? Denny’s childhood had been similar to Tye’s. Her
family had been involved in rodeo from the word go. It had been her way of life
while growing up.

Throat
dry, she asked lightly, "Is he someone I know?"

Denny
shook her head. "I don't think so, but you'll meet him soon enough. We're
still getting to know one another and I don't want to ruin it. You know how I
louse up relationships and get hooked up with the wrong guy. There's other
considerations, too. His wife died and he's got a little girl. I really like
him so I'm going to take it very slow."

"He
must be special." Tye cleared her throat, forcing a smile. She felt guilty
over the dart of envy that clipped at her. "Good luck. Let me know how it
goes," she told Denny sincerely.

"We'll
know more tonight...if he shows up," Lynn quipped.

Others
began to arrive and the house quickly filled up. Tye had forgotten how many
people she had invited on her spur-of-the-moment calling around to arrange a
party. Her earlier anxiety receded as she talked to more of her friends.