Wilson Mooney Eighteen at Last (35 page)

“
Honest? Yes. Wicked? Not
so much. You just basically told him he was nothing to you,” Joanie
said.

“
No I didn’t, all I said
was, it was a mistake—”

“
You said kissing him was
a
drunken
mistake. There’s a pretty big difference. That’s like telling
someone you have zero feelings for them. ZERO,” Joanie said,
holding her fingers in the shape of a big fat zero.

“
Well, that’s not what I
meant to say—” I replayed the scene in my head.

“
Yeah, but that’s how it
came out,” Joanie said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I stood there, thinking
about what she said…
Shit. It did, didn’t
it? I made him feel like crap. In my attempt to save face, I made
Nick feel like he didn’t mean anything to me. That was so not my
intention.

“
I should go apologize,” I
said as I pulled open the bedroom door and meandered out, ready to
eat crow.

Joanie followed me down the stairs.
With every step I took, I could feel the embarrassment of being
such a bitch splash through my body. My lungs clung to any breath I
had left to explain this total misunderstanding.

My feet hit the hardwood floor, and
suddenly, I think my blood stopped circulating to my hands and
feet. I stood at the base of the stairs.

“
Go on, Wil,” Joanie
whispered as she pushed against my back.

I turned and looked down
through the doorways of the dining room and the living room and saw
Nick’s feet propped up on the brown coffee table in the family
room. This was going to be my opportunity to apologize for what I
said. I looked back to Joanie, gave her a nod of my head, and
turned to face his direction.
Am I doing
the best thing for both of us? Could I somehow be giving Nick false
hope by going in there and apologizing for what I said?

“
It’s the right thing to
do. I’ll wait here and if it gets too intense, I’ll come in,”
Joanie prodded, as if she had read the thoughts racing through my
head.
How does she do that?

I nodded and took the step that pushed
me onto the next page of my journey. I made it to the corner of the
sofa before Nick turned around and saw me. He pulled his earbuds
out of his ears; his iPhone, balancing on his stomach, slid down
into his lap as he sat up.

“
Hey, how long were you
standing there?”

“
Just got here. Do you
mind if I sit down?” I asked lightly.

“
No, go ahead,” Nick
mumbled back at me.

I came around to the front of the sofa
and slipped through the space between the coffee table and his legs
before I eased down next to him. An awkward moment hung between
us.

“
What are you listening
to?” I asked, pointing to his iPhone; anything to wash away the
thick space lingering around us.

“
Rage Against the
Machine.”

“
Wow, they’re totally
political,” I said.

“
Yeah, well, they are
my
go to
when I
need to erase the day,” he said quietly.

“
Well, what a coincidence.
I need to erase something too,” I said before he glanced at me. “I
want to apologize for what I said.
And
for acting like a total ass. I
didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I shouldn’t have made you feel
like all I care about is what happens over at Max—the Goldsteins’
place.”

He looked down at his iPhone, his
hands busy with flipping it around in circles and dropping it in
his lap every couple of spins.

“
Okay,” he acknowledged
me.

“
That’s all you’re gonna
say—okay?” I said as I snatched his phone.

“
Hey—” he snapped. “Give
that back to me. If you know what’s good for you,” he said as
leaned over and pressed his chest against my body before clutching
my wrists.

“
Good for me, huh? What do
you have to hide?” I said as I broke the hold he had around my
wrists and tried to slide the lock on the screen.

“
That’s not me. I don’t
have anything to hide,” he said as he planted his hand in the
cushion behind my head. He leaned in, close enough for me to feel
his breath on my skin and whispered, “…especially if it leads to
being tortured later,” then grabbed his phone and swayed back to
stand up.

I swallowed the burn of his words as I
spoke, “Okay, Nick, I deserved that. But that means we’re even
now.” I sighed as I stuck my hand out.

“
Really? You wanna shake
hands?” Nick teased.

“
I want you to help me
up.” I wiggled my fingers and added, “But that’s not a bad idea;
let’s shake on being friends.”

“
I’m not shaking on being
your friend,” he grumbled.

“
Well, what do I have to
do to redeem our friendship?” I asked.

“
There’s nothing to
redeem, we’re all good,” he said as he grabbed my hand and pulled
me into a hug.

“
Oh, for Christ’s sake,
Wilson, give the guy a break,” Joanie screeched as she meandered
in, pulling me out of Nick’s arms.

“
Hey, J, what took you so
long?” I asked as I plopped back down on the sofa.

“
I found the liquor
storehouse. Holy crap, it’s a drunk guy’s wet dream, in there,”
Joanie roared.

“
My parents don’t
understand moderation when it comes to alcohol. Conservatism isn’t
one of their strong points,” Nick smiled at Joanie. She
laughed.

“
Well, obviously my best
buddy here doesn’t either. Pick your poison…” Joanie winked as she
held out her hand to me and pulled me up.

“
That would be rum and
vodka,” Nick blurted out as he sat on the arm of the chair next to
the sofa.

“
Yeah, well it would be
mine too,” Joanie said, shifting her body to face him and leaning
her head to one side. Her dark brown hair swayed as the sunlight
beamed and danced across the strands. She caught the end of her
hair and twisted it around her finger. Nick took notice.

“
So, you’re a lightweight
like Wilson?” he replied as he made eye contact with her before
lowering his head to look at his phone.
I
can’t believe this…they’re flirting right in front of me.
I felt my heart speed and my scalp tingle.
Oh my God—I feel…jealous.

“
Pretty much. Hang with
fishes, you’re gonna drink like one,” Joanie responded as she
tapped me across the shoulder, knocking me out of that space in my
head where I didn’t want to go.

“
Yeah, well, four martinis
at your father’s country club last year proved I don’t belong
swimmin’ with the big fish,” I said

“
Definitely not,” Joanie
chuckled. Nick peeked up from his phone at her. With his legs
crossed at the ankles, all I had to do was give a little push and
he would have tumbled over.

“
Hello?” a voice echoed
through the house.

“
In the family room,” Nick
shouted.

“
Who is it?” I
asked.

“
I don’t know,” Nick
answered as he stood up, slipped his phone in his pocket and
started walking into the foyer.

I looked over at Joanie then back at
Nick. The last thing I needed was Cindy coming in here spewing
about more intimate moments she had with Max, comforting
him.

“
It didn’t sound like
Cindy,” Joanie said.

Joanie and I started toward the foyer
when I heard a female voice float through the room with a nervous
excuse for just walking into the house after she had knocked for
several minutes. Nick responded with words that comforted her
insecurities before he came back.

“
Look who’s here,” he
announced.

Nick’s eyes told me it was someone
totally unexpected. My heart fell down into my gut in disbelief. It
was the last person I would expect to show up at the Browlers’
place. Camille walked in, her eyes glossy and swollen with red,
burnt edges; her velvety brown hair pulled back off her face. Any
words I wanted to say got tangled up in the big gulp I took when I
saw her.

She forced a smile before her mouth
dropped back to the seriousness of her day. My body trembled,
rippling from my core out to my skin. She was here; away from her
family…away from Max.

“
Oh my God,” I whispered,
“Camille, how are you? How is your family?” I continued. The last
thing I wanted to do was say the wrong thing.

She looked over at Joanie and then
Nick before she turned back to me. She appeared to be struggling,
unable to choke out any words.

“
I’m so sorry,” I
moaned.

She stood there, devastated and unable
to speak, before she snapped her head up and shook away any
possibility of losing it.

“
I’m trying,” she said as
her breath hitched. “Max, isn’t—” she stopped, her eyes welled with
tears.

My whole body was hit with a massive
chill that culminated at the base of my head and ran down my spine.
What was she going to say about Max?

“
Trying?” I blurted out to
fill the arduous pause.

Camille’s expression
turned to shock.
Son of a bitch, I might
as well open my mouth and insert my foot now.

“
Max isn’t
okay
. And I’m really
scared,” she uttered as she plopped down on the sofa.

“
What? Wait, what?” I
asked. Suddenly, Camille and I were the only two people in the
room. I had to get every bit of information about Max I could. I
kneeled in front of her, my hands on her knees. Her sullen eyes met
mine; I saw how devastated she was.

“
I’m scared and I couldn’t
think of any other place to go…” Camille stopped and took a huge
breath, like she was about to pummel me for leaving. “Do you think
we can talk in private?” she asked, glancing at all of
us.

Joanie shot me a look. I knew she’d
leave if I asked her to, but I didn’t want her to. She was my
rock.

“
Anything you have to
say…you can say in front of Joanie. She’s my best friend, and
besides, she knows everything about Max.” My skin dampened as I
blushed, and the cool breeze forced goose bumps through my
body.

I looked over at Nick and Joanie
before I turned back to Camille.

Nick cleared his throat and said, “I’m
gonna leave you ladies to talk.”

“
Thanks,” I whispered as
he passed by and headed upstairs. Part of me wanted to go with him.
To be somewhere else, anywhere but in this moment. But I needed to
find out more about Max; more than the fact that he was a wreck. We
were all wrecks for that matter, but there was something more
Camille wasn’t willing to say in front of Nick.

Camille watched as he disappeared
upstairs. “I haven’t seen Max this bad since—” she broke off, her
knees bounced double-time and an uncomfortable pause grew around
us.

“
Since?” I finally asked.
My hands rushed hot as her bouncing knees sent motion rippling up
through my arms.

“
Mallory,” she said in a
low voice.

Every ounce of color fell out of my
face. Any blood that was circulating through my veins stopped. I
wasn’t expecting her to bring up dead Mallory.

“
Oh,” I gasped.

“
When she killed herself,
she stole a part of my brother—a part we thought we’d lost forever
until we saw him with you and how happy you made him,” she
swallowed.

I felt the heat of Joanie’s hand
building circles against my back.

“
But he just lost his
father,” I added softly.

“…
And now he’s losing you.
He won’t eat, he’s so
angry
inside, and he won’t listen to
anyone
. He’s spiraling
so quickly. Wilson, I’m scared,” her voice trailed off.

My heart fissured listening to her
tell me about Max. His life was crumbling in the wake of my fear to
stay and strive for what we were. I thought about how close Max was
to Nancy.

“
He’s this way with your
mom too?” I asked, shifting back and forth on my knees.

“
Everyone
,” she said, exaggerating
the word.

I couldn’t help but flash back to the
moment Nancy told Max that he couldn’t see me anymore. How she
sounded so disappointed in us. The rejection that coursed through
my entire body gripped me like I was right back on those stairs
again. I dropped back on my feet, my toes bending forward. I felt
the muscles pull and stretch from the soles of my feet all the way
up through my calves. Even though I’d been hurt by Nancy’s words,
part of me still wanted to ask how she was doing. Through all the
anguish, she still mattered to me.

“
Wilson…Max has shut down
to
all
of us. My
mom has lost so much, I don’t think she could take losing Max…all
over again. That would be the crushing blow for her, for me…for our
entire family,” Camille caught her breath on the last couple of
words.