Wild Ways (33 page)

Julian dragged himself into the hospital lobby near dawn. Chase had procured him dry clothes while he’d been checked out by the medics at the scene. Then he’d taken the detectives through the entire evening. He’d answered thousands of questions at the station and been released. He was bone tired, but he needed to see Mollie and check on Di.

Brick launched himself at Julian as he passed through the lobby. “You going in? Can I go with you?” He looked like a tired, anxious puppy.

“You haven’t seen Di?”

“No. Mollie didn’t put me on the list of visitors. I’m not family.” He mimicked what was probably a nurse’s directive. “Mollie, she’s tough. Said I abandoned Di, and I didn’t deserve to be in her life.” Brick scrubbed his fingers back through his hair. “I know I messed up, but I love her. I’m going to get a job, straighten my act out.”

“Look, if Mollie doesn’t want you in there, I’m not bringing you with. Give her time.”

Julian got the room number and headed up to the floor. Mollie had shut Brick out. She did it, he was sure, to protect Di. He only hoped she didn’t shut him out, too, to protect herself.

Chase had arranged for a private room, though he doubted Mollie knew that. The door was partly open, so Julian tapped and entered, finding Di asleep in the bed, Mollie by her side. Someone had gotten her some clothing, too, leggings and a long top.

She gave him a soft smile that tightened his chest. “Hi.” She didn’t stand.

“Hey.” He stepped up to the bed, shifting his gaze to Di. “How’s she doing?”

Mollie’s gaze was on Di, too, stroking her arm. “The club kept her drugged and compliant since her phone call to me. She hated being so out of it, so sick. I think she’s ready to get clean.” It seemed to take an effort for her to pull her gaze to him. She gave
him a tremulous smile. “I see they treated you.”

He brushed his hand over the bandage at his eyebrow. “You should have seen it. I was fielding health questions and investigative questions at the same time. Yes, that hurts. Yes, I shot the guys they found floating in the water. No, that’s fine. Yes, I did feel as though my life was in danger.”

“Are you all right? You’re pretty banged up.” She kept stroking Di’s arm, her movements becoming faster. More nervous.

Yep, she was putting up the wall.

“I’m still in one piece.”
But I have a feeling you’re about to shatter my heart, querida
. “Brick said you wouldn’t let him see Di.”

Mollie shook her head adamantly. “I don’t want him to mess with her head.”

“I agree that he was a first-class schmuck. But is it your place to make those decisions for her?”

“Someone has to.” Mollie’s voice had a pleading quality to it. “If I don’t protect her … well, look what happened.”

“Mollie, as tight a hold as you’ve kept on your sister, ask yourself this: Did it work?”

She stared at him.

He pulled another chair over and sat down facing her, hands on his thighs. “You have an illusion of control with her, but the only one who’s under control is you. You live your life around hers, worrying, questioning, probably lecturing. I’ve seen it in my family. Nobody’s happy when they’re stuck in that dynamic. Don’t you want to be happy?”

Her lower lip quivered. “Yes, of course. But I’m all Di has.”

“And what about me,
querida
? You? Us?”

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “What you did for me, for Di, was incredible. What we shared was amazing. I’ll never forget it.”

At least she didn’t regret it. Julian sensed a huge B-U-T in there though. “It was amazing.” He reached out and drew his finger down her jawline. “Like nothing I’ve ever
experienced before. You do get that, don’t you?”

One tear dripped down her cheek as she nodded. “But right now I need to devote my life to helping her get better. And that wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“How about you let me decide what’s fair for me?”

“Come on, let’s face it. You’re going to get tired of me devoting my time to Di. Which is totally understandable. Most guys have a hard time not being first.”

“I don’t need to be first. I want you to put yourself first.” He took hold of her hands and pulled her to her feet. “I want to love you, Mollie. I want to give you a family. My family. A life. Give me a chance to prove that I’m not a giving-up kind of guy.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

She deepened the kiss, hungrily seeking the connection he offered. Her fingers dug into his back, clutching at him. But her tears kept falling, and finally she pulled back and wiped her face. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry about crying. You’ve been through a lot.”

“No.” She took a ragged breath. “I’m sorry I’m not brave enough to take that chance. Maybe that makes me as much of a coward as Brick. The problem is that you’re not like Jimmie or anyone else I’ve ever dated. It didn’t hurt when they left. With you, it will be devastating.” She fell back into the chair and covered her face, fighting more tears.

Something inside him crumbled. He wanted to shake sense into her, or try some manipulative technique, but he wouldn’t force her. She needed to take control of her life, and his trying to take control would only muddy matters.

“You should get some sleep,” he said instead of all the other things that wanted to come crashing out. “You’re exhausted.”

“I want to be here when she wakes.”

He could only nod. “I’ll come by later.”

She kept staring straight ahead at nothing. “I want to pay you back for everything you spent.”

“No, Mollie, you’re not doing that. Unless …”

“What?”

“You could work it off. Maybe Chase has an opening, office manager, assistant. You’d have to move to Miami—”

“Stop, please.” She faced him now. “I can’t do that. Please don’t.”

He remained silent for several seconds. Then he reached into his wallet and gave her one of his new Justiss Alliance cards. “Here’s my information. You can send the check there.” He wouldn’t cash it, of course, but she’d have to write his name twice. Think about him.

She took it, nodding hard. “It may take a while. I have to get another job.”

“You get to me when you’re ready, Mollie.” He hoped she picked up the real meaning of those words. “I’ll see you later.” Every step was like trudging through the sand during BUD/S training. But he didn’t necessarily have something to look forward to at the end of this.

Brick came rushing over when Julian appeared in the lobby. “How is she?”

“She was sleeping, but Mollie said she was okay.” Julian tilted his head, studying the guy. “You do care about her, don’t you?”

“I love her, man. I’d do anything to make this up to her. Anything at all. I’m going straight, no drugs, no alcohol. I’m going to prove myself worthy of her.”

Julian patted his face. “Do that for yourself, but remember one thing: Sometimes love isn’t enough.” Then he walked out.

* * *

Julian grabbed a few hours of sleep and returned to the hospital. He spotted Risk and Sax coming out the sliding-glass doors.

“We thought you were already here,” Sax said. “You didn’t answer your door.”

Julian ran his hand through his damp hair. “I was probably in the shower.”

“Where’s Mollie?” Risk asked, looking for her.

Julian shrugged, trying not to sound despondent. “Probably here with her sister.”

He’d obviously failed; Risk gave him a sympathetic look. “Oh, it’s like that, huh?” He’d been there, done that. But it had all worked out for him.

“Yeah,” Julian said, trying to keep the sigh from his voice. He wasn’t in the mood to get into his feelings for Mollie, or the tangle of their relationship. “You guys off to Miami?”

“I’m heading back to Virginia.” At least Risk hadn’t said to his lady love. “I’ll be back in Miami for some training in a week, though.”

Sax smiled. “I have an assignment. My own this time.”

Risk checked his watch. “We’d better get going. See you in a few.” He let his gaze settle on Julian for a second. “Good luck.”

Julian could only nod his thanks, his throat too tight to respond.

“Good luck with what?” Sax asked, oblivious to the subtexts.

“Julian’s going to try to talk Rath out of his Mexico mission,” Risk covered as they headed on out.

Sax wouldn’t understand love and its many shades of gray. And pain. He was a player, through and through. It was literally in his DNA.

“Later,” Julian said, trading handshakes with both and heading to the elevators. He checked in with Rath, who, as it happened, was shrugging into clothes from the duffel bag Julian had dropped off the night before. “Whoa, dude, they’re releasing you?”

Rath’s face was still a swollen mess. “I’m releasing me. Going home to Tennessee to recoup, then I’m off to Mexico.”

“Damn, hasn’t all this excitement tempted you at all to talk to Chase?”

Rath lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, then winced. “Maybe after I get back.”

Julian slapped the wall. “Why are people so stubborn about seeing what’s best for them?”

Rath headed to the door. “I
know
you’re talking about your lady friend now.”

“Her, too.” Julian wasn’t going there with Rath. “You know that even if you find the mole and prove it was a setup, it’s not going to change anything. The government still can’t publicly exonerate us. The Hammer will still think we ambushed them in cold
blood.”

Rath paused. “I know. But I’ll have vengeance. And the truth.”

“Which won’t do you a damned bit of good if you’re dead.”

Rath surprised him by pulling him close, giving him a hard slap on the back. “Take care. I’ll be in touch.”

Julian watched him saunter down the hallway. Even looking like a war refugee, the guy held his shoulders straight. Julian made his way through the maze toward Di’s room. Maybe he could convince one of the people he cared about to stay around.

It took him exactly one second to realize that wasn’t happening when he walked into Di’s room. Mollie was lying on the bed, sound asleep, while Di sat in the chair.

Di gave him a sleepy smile, her red hair tousled. “My hero.”

Julian shook his head as he took the chair he’d used earlier and pulled it to the foot of the bed, so he wasn’t looming over her. “Not me. I—we all just did what we needed to do. How are you?”

“Better than the last time you saw me.” She rubbed her forehead, her eyes wide. “That was a nightmare. I was starting to come out of the drugs they’d been giving me, realizing what was going on. What they were going to do to me.” She shuddered. “Seeing Mollie there, that was the worst.” She touched her sister’s hair, splayed over the blanket. “She could have died because of me. You both could have.”

“Don’t worry about me. But Mollie, she went through a lot to find you.”

“I know.” Her voice came out a squeak. “Tell me.”

He would, because Di needed to know what her actions had pushed Mollie to do. Di covered her mouth, tears flowing, by the time he was through. “I’m so sorry.” It came out a hoarse whisper. “I met Brick and fell for him. Life on the road with a family of sorts sounded so good. Freedom. No one telling me what to do.” Her watery gaze fell on her sister. “I love her, and I know she’s trying to help. But I needed to get away. Talk about jumping from the pan into the fire.”

“On the positive side, we shut down a nasty operation that might have gone on for years if you hadn’t gotten sucked in.”

She wiped her eyes and gave him a weak smile. “Thank you for that.”

Julian shrugged with one shoulder. “Brick’s here, you know.”

“Yeah, Mollie told me. She won’t let me see him.”

“He thinks he loves you.”

The same fear Mollie had worn on her face now showed on Di’s. “I’m not sure he knows what love is. Then again, neither do I. What do you think?”

Julian shrugged. “I can only be responsible for my own feelings. And they’re enough to deal with.” He couldn’t help glancing at Mollie. “What I do know is that you and Mollie both have to set boundaries with each other if you ever want to have a life. And a healthy relationship.” His gaze slid to Mollie again, her beautiful face so open in sleep. “Or to have healthy relationships with men.”

“You care about her.” It wasn’t a question.

“She’s the most courageous, beautiful, strongest woman I know.
She
doesn’t know those things about herself, unfortunately.” He brushed a lock of hair from Mollie’s temple, needing one last touch. “She makes me think of the future. Marriage, kids, that kind of future.”

“She thinks you’re too good for her. No, really,” she said when he must have looked as surprised as he felt. “But she believed, in our darkest moments, that you would come for us. She said you made her want to believe. But that you were too good of a man to drag down with all her baggage.”

He hadn’t taken his gaze from Mollie, wondering if she was hearing this. She seemed deep asleep, her breathing even. “I’m in love with your sister.” Saying the words both eased and hurt. “I’d take her with all her baggage. Hell, who doesn’t have baggage? The thought of walking away from her, as she’s asked me to do, tears me apart.” He lifted his gaze to Di. “I’ve climbed three-story walls with hardly a handhold, but I can’t scale hers.” He reached into his pocket and handed Di his card. “Keep this and let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“What should I do about Brick?”

Julian could understand how Mollie fell into the caretaker role with her younger
sister. Di looked so helpless and needy and lost.

“Follow your heart.”

“What about you? What are you going to do?”

He gave her a crooked smile. “I’ll be down in Miami. Just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Daytona Beach.”

* * *

Mollie lifted her head as soon as Julian left.

“You stinker,” Di hissed, and Mollie shushed her, looking at the door to make sure Julian wasn’t still there.

“I can’t talk to him. It hurts too much.”

“Hurts? He’s in love with you! How can that hurt?”

Mollie wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m afraid.” She smiled, brushing the back of her hand down Di’s face. The feel of Julian’s finger caressing her skin still tingled along her jaw. “Besides, I’ve got to help you get better. I don’t have time for a relationship.”