White Lines III (14 page)

“I'm sorry. I swear. I'm sorry. Sunny—”

“I hate you.”

“Please—”

“Go exactly the fuck to hell!” Sunny's eyes flashed with rage. She shook her head in frustration. Her whole life was in ruins. Mercedes pissed at her, her family disappointed in her, her movie opportunity gone. The whole world knew what she'd done. The sting of Malcolm's abandonment was like salt in an already festering wound.

Sunny took a deep breath. She pulled herself together. “I swear that I will pay you back. I promise you. No matter what, I will get you back for this,” she hissed. She stormed out of the office, and Ava followed her. Security joined them to ensure that Sunny exited the building. Malcolm wasn't sure what he wanted to say to Sunny. But he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was so much that he needed to express to her. He followed her to the elevator, and stood there amid all the whispers and stares as she boarded the elevator and the doors slowly closed.

 

10

INTERVENTION

Sunny stared out the window in the passenger seat of her father's car. Ava was driving it while Sunny did her best to pull herself together. Sunny prided herself on being tough and unemotional. But right now she couldn't stop crying.

When they left Ava's office building, Ava had called Jada, and told her what happened. In return, Ava had gotten a brief rundown of the confrontation between the friends earlier that morning. Jada told her sister to bring Sunny to Staten Island. Jada had already been in touch with Sunny's mother, Marisol, and she, too, was on her way to Jada's house with Mercedes in tow. It was time for an intervention.

Sunny had led Ava to the garage where she had paid to park her car, but found herself too frantic to drive it herself. It had all come falling down on her. All of it. She'd lost everything today, including her dignity. Now, aware that they were heading to Staten Island, Sunny began to pull herself together. She rummaged around in her bag until she came out with some tissues. She wiped her eyes, pushed her pain back down, and turned to Ava.

“I know you don't like me.”

Ava glanced at Sunny before putting her attention back on the road. “What are you talking about?” She shook her head. “You don't know what you're saying. I like you.”

“Don't talk down to me just because you have degrees and I don't.”

“I'm not!”

“So don't say that I don't know what I'm talking about. Clearly, I don't make the smartest decisions all the time, but I know exactly what I'm saying.”

“Fine, Sunny.”

“'Zactly.” Sunny rolled her eyes, fidgeted with the ring Malcolm gave her, now too loose on her thinner fingers. She had meant to give it back to him. But in the moment, she forgot all her lines, all the things she'd meant to say to Malcolm once she finally cornered him.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I know you don't like me. I'm not all reserved and composed like you. I know you don't approve of who I am or how I get down.”

Ava merged onto the Verrazano Bridge. “It's not my place to approve or disapprove of how you live your life, Sunny. I learned that a long time ago. All I'm saying to you today is that you can't come into a place of business—”

“I couldn't care less about Malcolm's place of business, Ava.” Sunny shook her head, thinking that Ava just didn't get it. “He's a coward. I'm upset because he left me in Mexico. He changed his number, stopped taking my calls. I deserved to have my say.”

“I don't think you're looking at it from both sides, Sunny. Malcolm isn't like you. He panicked. I'm not making excuses for him. But right before you came to the office, he was telling me how sorry he was that he left you behind, and how he just didn't know what to say to you.”

“I don't care how scared I might be, I would never leave somebody that I cared about all alone in another country under those circumstances.”

Ava nodded. “He was wrong for that.”

Sunny finally addressed the fact that they were pulling into Jada's driveway. “What are we doing here?” she asked. “I'm sure Jada doesn't want to see me right now. We had words this morning.”

Ava put the car in park and cut the engine. “I heard. You're on a roll today.” She climbed out of the car, and waited until Sunny followed suit. Together they approached Jada's door. Ava rang the bell and waited, marveling at what a lovely day it had turned out to be, but aware that a storm was brewing on the other side of the door.

Jada opened the door, greeted the women, and ushered them into her home. Sunny stepped inside, but stopped in her tracks when she saw her mother, Jenny G, and Mercedes sitting side by side on Jada's sofa. Mercedes avoided making eye contact with her mom. Instead, she kept her eyes fixed on Sheldon, who sat on the floor close by.

“What's all this?” Sunny asked, eyeing Jenny G so intensely that the woman averted her gaze. Sunny turned her attention to Marisol. “Ma, what are you doing here?”

Jada stepped forward. “Come in and sit down, Sunny.” She motioned toward the armchair. Born's chair, or at least it used to be.

Sunny looked around the room. She had a ton of questions but she surmised that no answers would be forthcoming until she sat down as she had been asked.

She walked over to the chair and sat down, unaware of how small she looked now. Her clothes, and even her jewelry, seemed to swallow her thin frame.

Marisol spoke first. “Sunny, this is an intervention.” Marisol's heavy accent couldn't go unnoticed.

Sunny actually laughed, amused by the fact that her loved ones found this necessary. She looked around the room, her gaze resting on Jada. “You're kidding, right?”

Jada shook her head. “No, we're not. This is serious.”

Sunny's smile faded. “Come on, man. Don't be ridiculous!”

Marisol sighed. “Sunny, listen to me.” Marisol's voice wavered, her eyes flooded with tears. “I hate …
hate
that I have to have this conversation with you,
mija
. It is breaking my heart that the shit has come down to this.” Marisol shook her head as several tears made their descent down her face. “You have a problem, Sunny. It is not a game. All of these years, I've watched you out here living life like it's all about bling, and power, and having fun. There's more to life than that. And you are going to lose all of the things, all of the people that really matter to you if you don't get it together.”

Marisol wept softly, clearly agonizing over her daughter's plight. Jada cleared her throat and tried to steer the conversation smoothly.

“Sunny, after I saw you earlier, I called your mom to discuss the whole situation. I was talking to her when Ava called to tell me about what happened at the firm today. So we all decided that it was time for this. We all love you so much. And one of the things that we love about you is your outlook toward everything. You're the queen of keeping it real. So we want you to let us say what we have to say, and then we'll all come up with a plan for the best way to move forward. Deal?”

Sunny stared at her friend without answering. She wanted to storm out of there and tell each and every one of them where to stick their fucking intervention. But when she glanced over at Mercedes, Sunny's cold heart melted. She saw Mercedes watching her through hopeful eyes, and any thoughts of resistance dissipated. Sunny nodded.

Jada breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay,” she said. “I think your mom should go first. Then we'll each have a chance to say what we need to say.” Jada glanced over at Sheldon, then looked at Sunny apologetically. “Your mom feels that Mercedes needs to be here for this, too. She has a lot that she wants to say. And Mercedes insisted that she needs Sheldon here for moral support.”

Sunny looked at her daughter. So Mercedes had a lot to say. Sunny was on pins and needles to hear it, since Mercedes had barely spoken two words to her since she'd gotten back from Mexico. Again, Sunny nodded in agreement.

“But just because the kids are here doesn't mean that we're going to hold back. Because we're not.” Having said that, Jada took a seat on the large leather ottoman and Ava sat beside her.

Marisol had pulled herself together by this point. The wet and teary eyes were replaced by a steely, determined gaze, which she fixed now on her daughter. Marisol was no longer the weeping, grieving mother. Instead Sunny looked into the eyes of a fed-up mother, who was willing to do whatever was necessary to get through to her child.

“
Mija,
this is no joke. We have been down this road before, so let's not pretend.” Marisol clapped her hands together loudly to punctuate her words, and sat forward in her seat. “Enough is enough. It's been too many years of this … shit! I've known about it for years, God help me. I've known that you like to—” Marisol sniffed dramatically, wiping her nose animatedly to spare herself the horror of having to utter the words in front of her grandchild. “I've known ever since Dorian died, God rest his soul. You were a mess, and after you had Mercedes, you went completely crazy. We got you in rehab, cleaned you up, and you swore to me, Sunny … you
swore
to me … that you would be clean for the rest of your life so that you could raise this baby girl. And now this. What the fuck happened? Where did it go wrong, I want to know? What would make you choose sticking that shit up your nose over your baby?”

Sunny tapped her foot rapidly as she listened to her mother. Anger bubbled up within her like a volcano. Her mother's words echoed in her head in a warped loop.

“You risked everything you worked so hard for. And for what, Sunny? To be high?” Marisol continued on and on.

“Ma,” Sunny shifted in her seat. “You only knew that I was getting high when Dorian died?” Sunny watched her mother's face morph into an expression of utter horror. “Are we being serious? I thought this was ‘Keep it 100 Day.' So let's keep it one-hundred percent real,
Mami.
You said it yourself. You've known about it for years. But how many years? Huh? Ten years, twelve years, fifteen years? Maybe twenty years?”

Marisol shook her head defiantly. “No, I did not! I did not know that you were getting high back then.”

“Why not? Weren't you being the perfect parent watching over me all the time?”

“I never said I was.”

“Well, that's what you said I need to be doing for Mercedes, right? I'm choosing other things over my baby, that's what you said. So what did you choose over me,
Madre
?”

“Sunny—” Jada interrupted.

“Nah, Jada, fuck that.” Sunny frowned, looking at her mother and noting that Marisol's tears had returned now. “Didn't you know that I was dating one of the biggest fuckin' hustlers in New York City? Didn't you know that Dorian's name carried so much weight that he lifted the whole family out of a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle?” Sunny looked at her mother innocently as if she really wanted answers to her questions. Inside, though, she was enraged. “Didn't you think that maybe he was an older man? More experienced than me.” She shook her head sadly. “Who could I talk to when I got bored sitting at home while he built his empire? Did you ever think I might get bored? Eighteen years old and stuck at home with thousands of dollars and nothing to do. Nobody asked me if I was having fun. So I looked the part, while Dorian paid the way, and as long as he was paying nobody asked any questions. And I came to you,
Mami
. You remember? When I first got wind that he was cheating on me, I came to you crying. You stroked my hair.” Sunny's voice cracked.

Jada looked away, unable to watch her friend cry.

“I had my head in your lap, and you stroked my hair, and you said, ‘
Mija
, he loves you, what more do you want?'” Sunny looked at Jada and Ava and laughed through her tears. “I said, ‘Ma, what if love is not enough?'” Sunny looked at her mother. “And, what did you say?”

Marisol closed her eyes and shook her head.

“You told me that the mortgage was two payments away from being paid off. And you reminded me that Reuben worked with him, and Daddy had enough to retire now, and Dorian was part of the family now.” Sunny shook her head. “I knew right then that I couldn't come to you anymore. Dorian was family, but what was I?”

Marisol was flooded with guilty tears. Ava spoke next.

“So, is that when you started ‘partying'?” Ava used air quotes as she repeated the term that she'd heard Jada use over the years when she and Sunny were out getting high and carrying on.

Sunny nodded. She sat back in her chair, and willed herself to relax. “Yeah. I was hanging with all the fancy people, wealthy people. Dorian was well connected. It was a glamorous life. And the girls on the arms of the ballers back then were getting high. Dorian warned me, but I was young.” She looked at Mercedes. “I was dumb.” She shook her head. “I started it, and it seemed like … like I could stand it as long as I was having my own little party.”

Jada nodded. “I know what that feels like.”

Sheldon watched his mother. He watched everyone silently, analyzing each person's reaction.

Sunny looked at Jada. “When you and me were out there taking this city by storm and in love with the men of our dreams, I was on top of the world, Jada. And then Dorian died.”

The weight of those words resounded in the otherwise silent room for several moments after she said it. Dorian had been her world for most of her life. Losing him had sent her life into a tailspin.

“I looked around and the party was over, and then I had Mercedes.” She thought back on holding her beautiful brown bundle of joy in her arms for the first time. She had been so lonely without Dorian there to share in the happiness with her. Soon she found herself back on drugs again. “I cleaned myself up again, and I didn't relapse until about a year ago.” Sunny knew the moment she said it that the words had come out all wrong. “It's not an excuse,” she insisted. “But, once again, I found myself needing to feel … needing to feel
something
.” Sunny feverishly laid out her case, doing her best to explain what had driven her to coke again.