Where Loyalty Lies (46 page)

“I don’t understand why they brought Greg into it. What did our ‘altercation’ the other day have to do with any of this?” I asked.

We’d reached the top of the stairs and Henry pulled me to a stop.

“There’s something you need to know,” he said. “I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you this, but I think it’s better that you find out now, so you know everything.”

“Okay.”

I leant back against the wall. For Henry to be so cautious about a topic, it must be serious. My gut twisted. What if it was that Saul didn’t really think he was my mate? What if they’d made that whole thing up and I’d just made a fool out of myself by saying it was true? I knew that I honestly thought it was true, but that didn’t mean that Saul did. Was it possible for a vampire to find their mate but the feeling not be returned?

“Greg is currently in hospital.”

Henry’s statement interrupted my mental panic. It took a moment for my mind to stop running off on the wrong track.

“Hospital?” I repeated dumbly. “But he was fine. Yes, I hit him but he was well enough to chase me, and to run off when we got caught.”

“Yes, he was fine. The bruises you gave him healed within hours.”

“So why would he be...” My sentence trailed off as I put the pieces together. I remembered the anger on Saul’s face as he’d cleaned the blood off me. “Saul.”

It hadn’t been a question, but Henry answered it anyway.

“Yes, it was Saul. But, before you start getting upset and saying that Saul shouldn’t have done it, just remember that Saul’s not a human, he’s a vampire. Have you heard about the law that states that if a vampire kills another’s mate, then the bereaved vampire is allowed to kill the attacker?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that law doesn’t just apply in cases of death. It’s very much a case of an eye for an eye. Greg hurt you and so Saul hurt Greg. This isn’t a law we have because we thought it would be a fit punishment, the vampire race has a primal and untamed streak. We can’t control our possessive and protective instincts, it’s part of who we are and, if an attack is made against our mate, there’s no question in our mind about how that should be dealt with. It may seem harsh to you but you have to remember that we are vampires. We may look human but there’ll always be something very dark and very wild in us that can never be tamed.”

As Henry’s words sunk in, I shivered. For some reason I had the mental image of a pack of wolves, teeth bared, snapping and snarling and attacking each other to maintain their pack status. Henry was right; it was all too easy to see their human appearance and to think they were just a wealthier and more powerful version of the rest of the people populating the planet. It would do me good to keep that picture of the wolves tucked away in my mind to remind me of what Henry had just said.

Personally I didn’t agree with the way Saul had dealt with Greg, but in the animal world I’d think nothing of it if I saw a mother attacking a creature that was causing harm to her loved ones. If I was truly going to be Saul’s mate, then I needed to understand that he’d always be this way.

“I understand,” I said and it came out a little huskily. Henry pulled me into a hug and, as I stood in his arms, a realisation hit me. “That’s why they asked me about being his mate. They wanted to know if Saul attacking Greg was an act that should be permitted or punished,” I said, pulling back so that I could observe Henry’s answer.

Henry nodded. “If you weren’t his mate, Saul would have got into a lot of trouble for what he did. Which, by the way, is the only reason Holt or I didn’t rip that son of a bitch apart ourselves. Technically, even though you’re now his mate, Saul should have got permission from The Sénat, but that step is regularly forgotten when someone’s so full of rage.”

“So everyone knew?” I asked. “Saul put Greg in the hospital and claimed he did it because I was his mate?”

“Not exactly. Saul attacked Greg, then, afterwards, he went to see The Sénat. He confessed that he’d attacked Greg and then he told them that he believed you were his mate.”

“When did all this happen?” I asked.

“The day after you were attacked.”

“I still don’t get why The Sénat would bring that up in my trial. I mean, surely Saul and I being mates is more likely to prove that I’m more vampire than human?”

A sly grin spread across Henry’s face. “I don’t think they ever dreamed you’d agree with it. I’m sure they thought that, if you were Saul’s mate, then you’d have been together from the minute you met. The three month gap between you meeting and becoming a couple is pretty amazing. Usually when a vampire meets their mate, it’s instant. The Sénat probably thought you’d deny it and then they’d twist that to mean you didn’t have the vampire ability to sense a mate.”

That made sense. No wonder Sénator Aimery had looked so surprised when I’d agreed with Saul.

“Right,” Henry said, starting to walk and pulling me along with him. “If Saul finds out I’m keeping you from him, he’ll kill me!”

As we neared my room I saw that the three vampires that had dragged Saul from the meeting room were standing outside my door.

“What’s going on?” I looked to Henry for an answer.

“They’re making sure he’s not within hearing distance,” he answered before turning to the men. “You can go now, it’s all over.”

As they left, I pushed the door open and Henry followed me in. Saul was standing by the window and, as he turned, I could see the anxiety on his face. I launched myself across the room and he caught me in a fierce embrace.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled onto the top of my head. “I should have told you; you didn’t need to find out like that.”

I shook my head as best I could with his arms wrapped so tightly around me.

“It’s okay,” I said.

Saul finally pulled away and shared an embrace with Henry that was just as meaningful.

“Thank you, Henry,” Saul said. “You were there for her the whole way through, I owe you.”

Henry shrugged. “The way I see it, she’s family now.” He shot a grin at me. “And I’m damn proud to call her family.”

“What do you mean?” Saul asked, looking back and forth between me and Henry. “What happened?”

“Well, to cut an extremely long story short, she claimed to be your mate, proved herself to be unaffected by all vampires, stabbed John in the leg with a pen...”

Saul looked at me in surprise. “You stabbed John in the leg?”

“Yes, she did.” Henry answered for me. “But, believe me, he deserved it. She then shouted at The Sénat and told them she was through jumping hoops and then she stormed out.”

Both of Saul’s eyebrows lifted. “It sounds like quite a show, I’m sorry I missed it.”

“You need to get better control of that temper, brother,” Henry quipped. “Now I should go back down and see if I can help Holt to validate our case.”

I watched Henry leave and, when the door was shut, I turned to see Saul giving me a strange look.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you really say you thought I was your mate?” he asked.

I nodded. Something flashed through his eyes but he closed them before I could read it.

“Do you know what a mate is?”

“Not exactly,” I said. “I remember Holt telling me that it’s like a soul mate but much stronger and that it’s a lifelong bond.”

Saul opened his eyes. “And you really feel that for me? You want to spend the rest of your life with me, even if it’s hundreds of years together?”

I didn’t need Saul’s ability to sense emotions to see that he was worried. He thought I didn’t know what I was committing to. Well, it was time to set him straight.

“If I hadn’t felt one hundred per cent sure that you were my mate, I wouldn’t have said it,” I told him. “The fact is, I knew it the first moment I saw you; I just didn’t understand what it was.”

Saul looked like he wanted to believe it but wasn’t sure if he could so I pushed on, desperate to make him see how I felt.

“That night at the Autumn Ball, it was like... like I didn’t care about anyone else that was there, it was just you. I’ve never wanted anybody like I wanted you and, that day we kissed, I was blown away and terrified by how much you meant to me. It didn’t even matter that I hardly knew you. When I wanted to hate you, I couldn’t. Even when I thought you were just using me, I couldn’t make myself stop loving you. At the time I didn’t know why it was, why I couldn’t stop thinking about you, but now I do. I don’t know much about what a ‘mate’ is but I do know that you’re mine because what I feel for you is more than lust, want or even love; it’s need.” I sucked in a ragged breath. “I need you, Saul, more than I need anything else in the world. It’s like you’re half of me and, without you, I know I just won’t work properly.”

He believed me. He crossed the room and wrapped me in his arms.

“You have me,” he said simply.

“That’s it?” I laughed. “I just poured my heart out and that’s all you have to say?”

I’d meant it as a joke but Saul gave me a serious look.

“I’m six hundred and eighty years old, Faine, but I don’t think I was ever really alive until I found you. You’re like a drug; you’ve heightened my emotions. When you’re mad at me, I drive myself crazy trying to work out how to get you to forgive me, when you’re happy I feel ecstatic, when you cry it breaks my heart, and when you laugh it fills me with joy. I feel like none of my achievements in life mean anything anymore because all that matters is that I make you happy.”

For a moment we just stood there, taking in each other’s words, understanding the weight of them. I knew that this was no everyday relationship; there would be no breaking up every time we had an argument, no cheating, no games, no gradual growing apart. This was being all in, forever.

“What happens if The Sénat decides I should live as a human?” I asked Saul. It was a question we’d been avoiding for weeks but I couldn’t hold it back any longer, not when I’d find out the all-important result by the end of the day. “They won’t like you declaring a human as your mate.”

“I’ve told you, I don’t care about them. All that matters to me is you, so whatever they decide, we’ll deal with it,” Saul said.

He seemed certain that everything would be fine and so I let myself believe it too.

“So you left the trial in uproar then?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, puzzled by the mischievous glint in his eye.

“So it’s going to be a while before we’re interrupted?”

My own grin grew as I caught on. “At least an hour or two. So why don’t you take me to bed and prove how much you love me?”

The words were barely out of my mouth before Saul had scooped me into his arms and whisked me into the bedroom. His mouth came down hard on mine and his kisses were so urgent that they took me by surprise. I realised that he’d known all along that I was his mate and he’d never said anything. I pulled back.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked.

Saul looked confused.

“You knew I was your mate and you never said anything to me. Why?”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Saul said, moving to kiss me again.

I wriggled further back. “Yes it does. Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

Saul gave a small sigh. “It’s very rare for a vampire to find their mate and even rarer for them to find a mate who doesn’t feel the same way. I didn’t tell you because I thought the human part of you might prevent you from feeling the same way as I did, so I figured I’d just wait for you to work out for yourself how you felt.” 

Again he tried to kiss me and again I moved away. Saul raised his eyebrows. “Why is it you always have questions? Even when we’re together in bed, and I’m desperate to rip your clothes off and kiss every inch of you.”

His suggestion almost made me forget my question. Almost, but not quite.

“So what would you have done if I’d never decided you were my mate? What if all I’d felt for you was enough to fuel a relationship that lasted a short time?”

Saul ran a strand of my hair through his fingers.

“I wouldn’t have told you,” he said. “I’d have done everything in my power to make sure you didn’t find out. Even if that meant leaving Rillith.”

“Why would you leave Rillith?” I asked.

“You know how territorial vampires are, well that’s nothing compared to how we feel about our mates. It’s why I get so mad when I see you near another male, I just can’t help it. Holt and Henry had already figured it out so I knew that, if you decided you wanted to be with someone else instead of me, I’d need to leave before I killed whoever it was you chose to fill my place.”

I felt my eyes widen. “But that doesn’t make sense. Your whole life is here. Why wouldn’t you just tell me so that I could either keep out of your way or leave? Surely that would make more sense.”

Saul smiled. “You’re my mate. Your happiness is more important to me than my own. If I’d told you, you’d have had to live with the guilt of knowing how much I loved you even though you couldn’t return my feelings. I know you, Faine and I know that guilt would eat away at you.”

I was shocked. Saul was so selfless.

His mouth landed on mine and now I understood his urgency. He’d never known if I’d ever feel for him what he felt for me. This was the first time we’d been together that we both knew that we were on the same page. He was mine and I was his and nothing would change that, ever. I wondered how it must have made him feel to not know if I would wake up one day and leave him. That was why he was so desperate now. I belonged to him and now he knew it.