Where Loyalty Lies (23 page)

This, however, could well be love for me. I felt ridiculous even thinking it when I hardly knew Saul, but wasn’t that how love was supposed to be? Someone who made your heart race and an unexplainable pull that told you that you loved them? That’s just how I felt – like being with Saul would complete my heart and make it whole. I wasn’t saying I wanted to declare my love today and get married on the way back to Rillith, but I did know that this didn’t feel like a bit of fun to me; it felt like the beginning of something big. It was like when you read the first chapter of a book and just know that it’s going to be one of your favourites forever. What were the chances of Saul feeling the same way about me? Very slim. At that realisation, I felt tears prick my eyes and I quickly looked back to the window, willing them to go away. Saul’s hand dropped slowly from my face.

“You’re not very trusting, are you?” he said.

I wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, but I answered it anyway. “I guess it’s just my nature,” I said quietly.

Saul was quiet for a moment and this silence was not so comfortable. “How is it you trust Henry so much? I understand why you care for Holt, but how is it that you and Henry are so close?”

Despite my sadness, I laughed. “Because he got me drunk and made me spill out all my secrets to him.” Saul looked like he was considering the idea, so I quickly carried on. “Plus I think we just get each other. We’re both just who we are and there’s no pretending or games. For me it’s nice to have someone I can be myself around. He doesn’t need or want anything from me, other than my company, so I have no reason to mistrust him.”

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and needed to move. “The rain’s let up a bit; I think we should chance it now in case it gets heavier again.” Saul didn’t argue. He didn’t say anything at all, he just handed me my jacket and followed me outside.

The journey back was made in silence. A number of times I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it again, fearing I’d just make things worse. What was I supposed to say? I’d spent the entire trek up to the house sulking because I wasn’t sure that he liked me, then, when he’d made a move, I couldn’t get away quickly enough. I couldn’t have given out more mixed signals if I tried but it wasn’t like I could explain that I did really like him but was just worried that I liked him too much. Nothing would make him run away faster.

The rain didn’t get heavier but it didn’t stop either and, by the time we were back at the bike, we were both soaked. Luckily Saul had picked a thick tree to leave his bike and my helmet under and they were both relatively dry.

Before I could pick my helmet up, Saul grabbed my arm and yanked me into his arms. His wet hair was dripping onto his face and I vaguely wondered if there was ever a time and place when he didn’t look gorgeous.

His mouth was on mine before I could summon up the sense to back away and, from the second his lips touched mine, all coherent thought was wiped from my brain. I closed my eyes and felt the cold rain drops land on my face and cool the burning heat that was rising in my body. Saul held me tight to him, as if worried that putting a millimetre of space between us might give me the chance to back away.

All too soon it was over and Saul pulled away. I stood, speechless, trying to work out how I was feeling. My body felt so hot I was sure there must be steam coming off me. Saul was standing deathly still and watching me. I knew he was trying to sense my emotions and I wondered if he was as confused by them as I was. This kiss had sealed the deal for me; it had confirmed the suspicions I’d had at the cabin. That single kiss had caused a greater reaction in me than all my other relationships put together. How typical that I should finally find someone who gave me the whirlwind of emotions I’d longed for, and he just happened to be the one person who was almost certain to love me and leave me. I remembered Henry’s story about spending months in one place just because Saul had fancied the barmaid. Once Saul had had his way with her, he’d left without a second’s hesitation. I’d officially fallen for the Casanova of the vampire world. Just like that, the heat left my body.

“We should go,” I said. I put on my helmet and went and stood next to the bike, silently pleading that Saul wouldn’t argue. He didn’t, he just got on the bike, kicked it into gear and waited for me to get on before he roared down the road.

The next morning I was up bright and early. If truth be told, I’d hardly slept all night. I had lain in bed for hours replaying my kiss with Saul over and over in my mind. When we’d arrived back at Rillith, we’d met up with Henry about half a mile from the gates so that nobody would be in trouble for having left me in the supervision of only one enforcer.

I’d ridden up to Rillith’s front doors on the back of Saul’s bike but he’d barely pulled to a stop before I’d leapt off and rushed over to Henry’s car, where I’d grabbed my bags, thanked Henry and left before Saul had a chance to stop me.

I hadn’t seen Holt for a couple of days and I decided to drop by and see him. He was always telling me that I was welcome to drop in and, I had to admit, I was interested in seeing if his rooms at Rillith looked the same as his cabin.

I followed the directions that Holt had given me and found that, unsurprisingly, they were perfect and took me straight to room number 160. I pressed the intercom buzzer and a few moments later Holt opened the door. A surprised look crossed his face but it was almost immediately replaced with a look of genuine happiness. He pulled the door wider and motioned for me to come in.

“You’re sure you’re not busy?” I asked.

“Not with anything important,” Holt said with a smile as he closed the door behind me.

We stood in a hallway that had a round wooden table in the centre of it. There were two doors leading out, one stood open and I could see a large wooden table with at least ten chairs around it. I guessed that this was the place where Holt worked and conducted his meetings.

He led me through the other door into his private living area. This room was much as I’d expected it would be. None of the furniture matched, giving the impression that it was stuff he’d picked up over the years. It wasn’t messy but there was a sense of organised chaos and plenty of clutter. I couldn’t help but smile.

Holt led the way through an archway at the back of the room that I hadn’t even noticed. This took us into a small room that had only a sofa in it but that was all it needed because one wall of the room contained an enormous window that looked out over the Scottish countryside. The view reminded me of the one from the abandoned house.

We both sat on the sofa. It occurred to me that we were in exactly the same position that Saul and I had been in yesterday and yet it felt completely different.

            “I don’t know why you spend so much time in my rooms when you have a view like this,” I said.

“It’s a vampire thing,” Holt explained. “Our territorial nature means that we don’t like sharing our space, even with people we get along with. You don’t have that territorial instinct so I’m afraid you drew the short straw and everyone ends up at yours.”

“Well that explains a lot,” I said before the first part of his sentence had sunk in. “Does that mean you’re uncomfortable with me here?”

“No, you’re welcome here whenever you like,” Holt said. Once again Holt’s kindness touched me.

“Thanks,” I said.

“So is there a reason for your visit? Do you have another list of questions for me to answer?” Holt asked and I could tell by his tone that he was teasing me.

“Actually, no, I just wanted to come and say hello.”

“Surely you haven’t run out of things to do around here yet?”

“I haven’t come to see you because I’m bored and have nothing better to do,” I stated. “I came to see you because I wanted to.” Holt gave a smile that made me smile back. “Besides I don’t think I could ever get bored here, I keep discovering new things to keep me entertained.”

“Have you seen the swimming pool yet? It’s usually empty; with our heightened sense of smell, most vampires steer clear of it because of the chlorine.”

I had been to the swimming pool, actually, not that I could remember anything about it other than it had some comfy sun loungers around it. I got the usual stab of guilt that arose whenever I remembered that day and how I’d skipped out on Dale after he’d been so nice to me.

I eyed Holt; there was no way I could tell him the whole story. I didn’t think he’d be too happy about the condition I’d been in after my tests that day. Still, I thought Holt was the only person I could ask about Dale.

“Actually, I do have a question,” I said.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” Holt answered.

“I... well, I sort of made a friend. He’s a guy I met the other day but he’s not a vampire, he’s one of the staff. I’ve only seen him once but I was thinking of going to see him again. I’m just not sure if that’s something The Sénat would like. Would my making friends with the other humans here damage my trial?” In truth I was planning on visiting Dale anyway, but if Holt had told me that The Sénat wouldn’t approve, I’d have had to make sure nobody saw me.

“I see no harm in you picking whoever you like to be your friends. However, it may be wise to keep any get-togethers with the staff quiet until your trial is over. Technically it should make no difference what or who your friends are, but there’s a large group of vampires who do tend to look down on humans, so for the time being I suggest you keep things low profile. Better safe than sorry.”

I nodded. The fact that Holt hadn’t told me that I was banned from mingling with the humans sealed his place in my heart. I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me. I don’t think he had any idea how important he was to me, but I knew I couldn’t tell him because it would embarrass him. I wished there was something I could do in return, to thank him for the incredible kindness he’d shown me, but I couldn’t think of anything. One day I would. One day I would find the perfect way to reward him for everything.

We sat and chatted for over an hour and then I excused myself, partly because I suspected that Holt had tons to get on with and partly because I had one more person I needed to visit today.

I arrived at the staff quarters shivering from the cold long walk I’d taken from the main house in the October chill. I half expected the lady behind the reception desk to tell me that I didn’t belong here and that I should leave but she just smiled at me and carried on tapping away at her computer.

I was determined to put a stop to the guilt that had been nagging at me ever since I’d run out on Dale. I kept picturing him coming back to his room with a load of food to help me feel better and finding my crappy scribbled note of thanks. I’d tried to excuse my behaviour by blaming tiredness and confusion but deep down I knew that it was cowardice. I didn’t know how the staff felt about vampires and so I’d been too much of a wimp to tell him the truth. Now I was going to thank him properly and tell him exactly what I was.

I had no idea where Dale’s room was but, as it turned out, the whole place was better mapped out than an airport. I followed the signs for “sleeping quarters” and then kept going as the numbers branched off, looking for number 56. When I got to the corridor that indicated rooms 50-69, I could see Dale leaning casually up against a wall chatting to a blonde girl who had to be from the same gene pool as Dale. I couldn’t blame her, though; with his tanned skin and shaggy blonde hair, Dale looked like he should be on the set of 90210. I was certain he was in his element surrounded by pretty girls. I hesitated, not knowing if I should interrupt, but before I’d made my decision a group of giggling girls came round the corner. I backed up fast enough to avoid being stampeded by stilettos but the commotion had been enough to attract Dale’s attention.

“Faine,” he called. He turned back to Blondie and said a few words before leaving to come and see me. I felt sorry for the poor girl who batted her eyelids a few times as if she was confused.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I pointed to Blondie, striding off down the hall.

“Oh, that’s okay, you kinda saved me actually; I hate those morning after conversations. I mean you both know it’s going to be a casual one-off thing, so why can’t you just shake hands or hug or whatever afterwards and go your separate ways?”

I couldn’t help but smile at Dale’s complete openness. His comment also hit home a bit. Yes, we hadn’t spent the night together but I had snuck out on him.  “I came to apologise,” I said. “I shouldn’t have left like that; it was really rude of me.”

“That’s okay,” Dale said and something about his voice told me that it really was. “So you’re feeling better now?”

I nodded. “That’s another reason I wanted to speak to you; I can’t thank you enough for all your help that day.”

Dale shrugged it off. “It’s no biggie, I’ve been here years now so it’s not the first time I’ve dealt with someone who’s OD’d.”

I stopped in my tracks. “OD’d? No it wasn’t drugs, it was just...”

Dale cut me off. “No, OD’d is what we call it when people have had a vamp over-drink from them. Get it? OD for over-drink?”

I nodded and followed him, not sure where we were heading.

“It’s a shame that had to happen on your first time, though. From what I’ve heard, it can be damn good when the blood-suckers don’t get too greedy. Some of the girls here swear it’s better than sex.”