Where I Wanna Be (31 page)

And now she was standing beside him. “You seem distracted,” Simone joined Eli at the balcony.

Eli took another puff of his cigar and blew out the smoke. He turned to Simone and smiled at her. Damn, with her hair down and the loose curls softly bouncing, it made Simone look more incredible than before. Even her looks were tempting Eli to do unfathomable things to her. “It’s been a long day,” he finally commented.

Simone took the cigar from Eli’s hand and puffed on it a couple times, her lips hugging the long cigar and then pursed together to blow out the smoke. It may not have been sexual but to Eli, it was the hottest thing he had seen in a while. “Faith?” She passed the cigar back to Eli.

Eli shook his head as he took the cigar from her and puffed on it. “You know me too well.”

“
What’s going on, Eliodoro?” His name rolled off her tongue.

Eli took a sip of his bourbon and stared out into the sky. “Everything she wanted, I made sure she got it. Anything she wanted, I made sure she had it. She wanted to go to NYU and not a community college. She couldn’t afford it so I paid for it. She wanted to go to the best cosmetology school and I paid for it. Her clothing, hair supplies, those damn Louis Vuitton bags.... she couldn’t even pronounce Bvlgari, but she knew she wanted it. She wanted a
nice
diamond ring. Any woman would be happy with what was given to her but she wanted an upgrade so I found the biggest diamond I could at the time. It satisfied her for a while until she said it was too small.

“
But did I complain? Did I ever say she was being unreasonable? No. I nodded and kept my mouth shut like any other husband. And yet, I ask her to consider—not do—but just
consider
staying at home with our son and possible future kids and she acts like I’m trying to change everything about her.” Eli shook his head. “It’s like, I give her everything she could possibly want and yet when I ask for something in return, I’m the freakin’ anti-Christ.”

“
Have you told her how you feel?” Simone asked. “You’re complaining to me, but does Faith know about your feelings?”

“
I told her she wasn’t being fair and I was only making a suggestion, not an order. It doesn’t matter, though,” Eli took another sip of his bourbon, “even when she’s wrong, she’s always right.”

Simone smiled at Eli. It seemed the more she saw him, the more attractive he became. The butterflies were dancing in her stomach and a swell of emotions filled her heart. She could honestly say she wasn’t just in lust with Eli—she was in love with him. She felt particularly stupid giving advice to him about his wife. “Maybe you need to give her some time. This isn’t a conversation that’s going to happen overnight, Eli, especially if she has a successful business on her own. In defense of Faith, you practically did tell her to give up the shop just to stay at home and be a housewife. What if she told you to stop working at Madre’s and stay at home with Nathan? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled with that suggestion at first, yourself.”

Eli slightly shrugged and took another puff on his cigar. “Maybe.”

Simone stepped closer to Eli. “Maybe… I’m right?” She smiled. “But something tells me this conversation isn’t just about you wanting Faith to stay at home.”

Eli exhaled a sharp breath. “I love being a husband. I love my wife with all of my heart. I knew the moment I saw Faith, I was going to marry her. I knew it and felt it. She knew it and felt it, too. And when we had Nathan? That was the cream on top of the cake. We were on and off for years but we always came back to each other. Even when I was out, messing around with other girls during our breaks, I always came back to her and she waited for me. You see, out of the five of us, I was always big on relationships. Kieran was burned by Jalara and was interested in starting over out in LA. Nick was too focused on academics to be in a long-term relationship with anybody. Joey and Tony, well, they’re vying for Pimp of the Year.” Eli chuckled and Simone smiled. “And maybe it had something to do with our upbringing. Maybe because the way our dad just up and left us, that’s why we all treat relationships differently. But I always knew I wanted a family of my own and I got that with Faith.”

Simone noticed Eli’s pregnant pause. “There’s a ‘but’ somewhere in there…”

“
But I’m wondering if it was too much, too soon. Maybe we should’ve dated a little bit longer. Maybe we should’ve been married for a while before we started trying to have a baby. We went through five miscarriages.
Five
. I’ve known couples who stopped trying after three and we kept on after five before Nathan was just our miracle child. Do you know how it feels to announce a pregnancy just to unannounce it a few weeks later? We were so paranoid with Nate, we didn’t even announce that pregnancy until Faye was well into her second trimester. But not having children wasn’t an option. And maybe all of the miscarriages took a toll on our marriage? Who knows?” He took one last puff of his cigar and put it out on a nearby ashtray. “I do know that I’m not happy. I just don’t know
why
I’m not happy.”

“
How long have you been feeling this way?” Simone asked.

“
It’s been on and off for a while but it really picked up full steam ahead when something happened a short while ago,” he mentioned.

“
Oh?” Simone was curious. “And what was that?”

He then turned to Simone and let out another sigh. “You.”

Simone knew where the conversation was going and was not about to take part in anyone’s failing marriage, despite how much she loved him. “Eliodoro…”

“
Moni, are you going to tell me that you didn’t feel anything that other night in the parking lot? That you didn’t feel anything between us? Come on, now.” He was closer to her, their bodies pressed against each other. “We both know how we feel about each other.”

“
Yes, and we both know you’re very much married,” Simone shook her head. “Don’t put the struggles in your marriage on me. I’m not the reason why you’re having problems with Faith, Eli.”

Eli caressed Simone’s hair. “I never said you were…”

“
And I don’t want to be.” Simone countered. “If you want to be with me, Eliodoro, you can’t be married.”

Eli shook his head. He wanted to wrap his arms around Simone and kiss her—deeply, passionately, and sexually. He wanted to guide her hips as she rode his cock. He also wanted to spend every waking hour with her. “You know I can’t leave my wife.”

Simone leaned in and kissed Eli. Their lips repeatedly met each other and slightly parted for their tongues to dance. She finally pulled away from him. Her heart was beating fast and her panties were soaked with desire for him. “You can’t?” She whispered in his ear. “Or you won’t?” She then left.

Eli watched Simone leave Gino’s. He and Faith had their ups and downs but they’d always pulled through. This was the first time since they’d been married, he actually considered leaving her.

He had some decisions to make.

He went home later that night, to Faith. By the time he had arrived home, it was already past one in the morning. He knew just by looking at the time, she was pissed at him. Hopefully, she would be asleep and he could possibly wake up her with some make-up sex. He could admit he acted irrationally and maybe he jumped the gun a little with suggesting she stay home with their children. It was definitely a discussion for another day.

He walked up to his bedroom and noticed the door was closed. He twisted the door handle and noticed it was locked.
Are you fucking kidding me, Faye?
Eli kept the key to the bedroom door inside his Manhattan office, a place he knew he wouldn’t forget and never thought he would need.

If Eli knocked on the door, he could possibly wake up Nathan and it would’ve taken forever to put him back to sleep. He also didn’t want to explain Mommy locked Daddy outside their bedroom. That wasn’t the only concern Eli had. He knew if he knocked on the door, he would be knocking for a while because Faith wasn’t about to unlock it for him. It was the same type of fight they’d had since they’d been together—they would have a blow up, Faith would cut him off sexually first; then emotionally second, and after a few days, they would make up like nothing ever happened.

It was passionate at first. It got real old, real quick, after a while. It was part of the reason why they were on and off so much during their dating years. Eli couldn’t handle Faith when she went through one of her moods. Temper tantrums is what they really were.

Eli walked back to the living room and made himself comfortable on the couch. He could still taste Simone on his tongue and feel the warmth of her body she provided for him. He loved Faith and couldn’t see himself without her. But Simone was giving him fresh air. She was giving him room to breathe.

He lay down on the sofa and retrieved his cell phone. He quickly texted Simone and put the phone down.
I love my wife, Moni
was his text. He didn’t know why he felt the need to declare that to her, other than he had to. Within moments, he received a reply from Simone:

I know you do.

Eli quickly texted Simone back:
You never did tell me if you hooked up with Marco earlier.

Simone replied back:
I pushed him off to another member of my staff. I caught them hooking up in the freezer of the hotel kitchen, lol.

Eli smiled and replied back:
Sweet dreams, Moni.

Sweet dreams, Eliodoro.

Eli put the phone away and grabbed a blanket for himself. He was going to do the right thing and stay away from Simone. He just hoped it wouldn’t be a mistake.

Kieran missed her already.

She had light eyes like her father. Soft and curly hair like her mother. Her skin tone was the perfect shade of café au lait, a mixture of both of them. She was always so happy and smiled often, though he wondered if some of that was gas.

Simply put, Kieran was madly in love with his two-month-old daughter, Gianna. He hated the fact he had to make a special trip to Staten Island without his family in tow, but they would make an appearance together soon enough. For now, he had a very important business deal to handle. He was making good on his lost bet to Joey for some child-care services for one of the Madre’s patrons.

Although he was a skilled poker player, courtesy of studying Nick throughout the years, Kieran always intentionally lost his bets. If he could get the word out about Fits and Giggles in Staten Island, he could possibly expand there. It was something he and Tiana had talked about. They recently started outlining some ideas for a children’s clothing line and were going to meet with a designer soon.

“
So I finally get to meet all of the D’Amato Brothers, huh?” Zoe Mitchell yawned in the passenger seat. “This should be a fun trip.”

“
My brothers are crazy,” Kieran admitted to his assistant. “They’re a great group of guys, though. Their hearts are in the right places.”

“
Cool. I look forward to it.” Zoe looked out the window and saw the leaves on the ground. She particularly loved how New York fall was definitely
fall
—a much bigger difference than in Southern California, where the only two seasons it had was hot and cold. “I’m staying with your mother, right?”

“
That’s right. You can come and go as you need to and you’ll have a key. She just asks you respect the house and eat her cooking.” Kieran smiled.